Venting Listen to me rant

[MeSauce]

I made a now deleted youtube video on my youtube channel about how I was going to commit suicide and my plans, what led up to it, and my reasons. Listen to it, will ya? Tell me what you think. Also this part 2 of 3, the other ones are on my profile uploads on internet archive if you are interested.

 

[MyShadow]

Man, I am sorry that you are also feeling this way. It's unfair that some of us have to deal with the loneliness and suffering.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

This was not what I expected on this website, but just know you are not alone out there. How have you been since?

 

[MeSauce]

This was not what I expected on this website, but just know you are not alone out there. How have you been since?

Still suicidal and cutting myself with razors. Prob gonna be dead in a year or less lol

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

Still suicidal and cutting myself with razors. Prob gonna be dead in a year or less lol

If you don't mind me asking, how do you feel about that?

 

[MeSauce]

If you don't mind me asking, how do you feel about that?

TBH I'm just kinda bored and I don't really have anything better to do with my life, so suicide seems like a solid pick. For cutting, I don't even like it. I just want to see how deep I can go, what is the biggest scar I can get, etc. I have no friends, I hate my family, I dropped out of college, idk man. I could do something but why bother? Why do anything? Plus, I have this autistic fascination with suicide and I fantasize about my own death a lot just because I get a rush out of it. I like the idea of dying young so people can call it a tragedy and a waste of potential, instead of me living up to the failure I'm afraid I'll become.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

TBH I'm just kinda bored and I don't really have anything better to do with my life, so suicide seems like a solid pick. For cutting, I don't even like it. I just want to see how deep I can go, what is the biggest scar I can get, etc. I have no friends, I hate my family, I dropped out of college, idk man. I could do something but why bother? Why do anything? Plus, I have this autistic fascination with suicide and I fantasize about my own death a lot just because I get a rush out of it. I like the idea of dying young so people can call it a tragedy and a waste of potential, instead of me living up to the failure I'm afraid I'll become.

I feel you there. I am always afraid of failure as well, but somehow managed to avoid it so far. Still, some days I feel like I had a good run and should quit while in a high spot, before becoming "an unfulfilled promise", maybe you get what I mean. I also have that trend of liking tragedies and that maybe if one's life is one, then maybe it would make it look a little bit more beautiful amidst the chaos.