ctb_warrior
I wish to CTB asap
- Feb 11, 2024
- 125
Sharing my experience so you get to know what not to do:
I have been trying to catch the bus for the last 2 decades.
I started with strangulation.
I tried drinking phenyl.
I had ratkill 2x.
I thought of train track but I didn't muster the courage for that.
I tried OD, landed up in ICU twice.
I tried to create CO, fire got out of control and I had to extinguish it, my entire room got filled with black soot (i used kerosene)
I tried partial hanging but couldn't find my sweet spot.
I once went to a water park, I was not suicidal at that time, and suddenly the wave hit and I was under water, I felt I could have died. But the moment I let go and gave up, my body automatically came out of water.
I feel drowning could be one technique that can work for me, but i fear the SI and breathlessness will make me abort the plan.
Lessons:
1. OD and chemicals are a big NO.
2. For CO, you must be sure of the method and be completely ready for it. Gas heater may be more helpful.
3. OD is good only if you have peaceful N which is rare to get
4. Partial hanging needs to hit proper sweet spot, otherwise it's a waste of time. I wasted a week with it. No luck.
5. Train track- NO because it'll traumatise the driver for his entire life. Also, it may leave the person handicapped if it doesn't go as per plan.
Never be impulsive to catch the bus. Take a step back, plan and when you are sure, you can think of going ahead.
At this stage, I'm clueless because i live with my family and i have to look for something that's fast, and doesn't need any sophisticated setup.
I have been trying to catch the bus for the last 2 decades.
I started with strangulation.
I tried drinking phenyl.
I had ratkill 2x.
I thought of train track but I didn't muster the courage for that.
I tried OD, landed up in ICU twice.
I tried to create CO, fire got out of control and I had to extinguish it, my entire room got filled with black soot (i used kerosene)
I tried partial hanging but couldn't find my sweet spot.
I once went to a water park, I was not suicidal at that time, and suddenly the wave hit and I was under water, I felt I could have died. But the moment I let go and gave up, my body automatically came out of water.
I feel drowning could be one technique that can work for me, but i fear the SI and breathlessness will make me abort the plan.
Lessons:
1. OD and chemicals are a big NO.
2. For CO, you must be sure of the method and be completely ready for it. Gas heater may be more helpful.
3. OD is good only if you have peaceful N which is rare to get
4. Partial hanging needs to hit proper sweet spot, otherwise it's a waste of time. I wasted a week with it. No luck.
5. Train track- NO because it'll traumatise the driver for his entire life. Also, it may leave the person handicapped if it doesn't go as per plan.
Never be impulsive to catch the bus. Take a step back, plan and when you are sure, you can think of going ahead.
At this stage, I'm clueless because i live with my family and i have to look for something that's fast, and doesn't need any sophisticated setup.
