Venting It doesn't get better does it

[restingplace]

Its been almost a year since my first attempt. I don't really feel much for it honestly. The more i continue to live the worse life gets, it is extremely hard to believe people when they say it gets better. Neither of my parents lives have improved as they've said themselves, my mother is still suicidal and she's gone through a lot more life experience than I have.

I don't find enjoyment in having friends, working, going out, living. I really see no point in it all. I'm just wasting my money and happiness by staying alive. I'd be in a much better place if I no longer existed

 

[divinemistress87]

Some people lives get better and some dont ever improve. Its an unfair world

 

[midstarscream]

Some people lives get better and some dont ever improve. Its an unfair world

I know right, fuck life. I am done with cliche's that say how life is precious but it is so freaking unfair.

 

[divinemistress87]

I know right, fuck life. I am done with cliche's that say how life is precious but it is so freaking unfair.

Yep! And some people have to put a lot of effort into making their lives better and it could take years and it doesnt mean it will get better

 

[aikou]

It's like a roller coaster; it gets better, then it gets worse, then it gets better again, and so on until it ends.

I don't really have problems with my parents; my mother has depression, but that's about it; she isn't suicidal. So I can't really imagine how it's like to live with that weighing you down.

I believe that depression isn't exactly related to experience; I've come to find out it's something so personal to one's self that it's entirely subjective.
I just keep living because I'm a coward, and so I try to enjoy it, even if it's through some kind of short-term relief or addiction.
But as I said, it's entirely subjective; it's probably a lot harder when the world around you isn't any better either.
I wish you the best of luck, kind stranger.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as I personally see no point to it all as well, all I wish for is to never exist again, I find it dreadful how existing can easily get worse. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[pariah80]

I feel your frustration. It's like, what's the point in persevering if life isn't going to yield anything but more suffering? Why would I trust life to change after I've put in so much work and effort without it doing so thus far? What is staying the course going to get me that it hasn't gotten me already? What is the purpose of wasting the time and energy to try and build something meaningful, only for life to knock it back down in a matter of seconds? I simply can't see anything happening in the future that will make me look back at this time in my life, when I'm ready to ctb, and say that I'm glad I stayed the course.