burninghill
Arcanist
- Dec 2, 2025
- 448
I struggle with very extreme anhedonia, the only thing I enjoy right now is Overwatch, which is embarrassing to admit but you know, playing it is better than killing myself.
I don't enjoy anything about living (besides maybe food), which means that everything that causes hardship puts my enjoyment of life in the negative.
When I think about living, I'm not biased. I don't think that living is an inherently negative or torturous thing, but it always feels like one step forward, three steps back.
I could have one good day, but I'm sure it will be countered by a dozen horrible things shortly after. Are those good days really worth it? Especially when I barely get them anymore.
I don't have any friends left, I don't have a boyfriend. All I do is try to get rewards on this game and hold out for the day when I finally give into getting high again because God is that something to look forward to.
I used to always smoke a superking at my window late at night and listen to hole when I was really suicidal. I'm doing it now and I feel like I've been taken straight back there. I hate this life.
I don't enjoy anything about living (besides maybe food), which means that everything that causes hardship puts my enjoyment of life in the negative.
When I think about living, I'm not biased. I don't think that living is an inherently negative or torturous thing, but it always feels like one step forward, three steps back.
I could have one good day, but I'm sure it will be countered by a dozen horrible things shortly after. Are those good days really worth it? Especially when I barely get them anymore.
I don't have any friends left, I don't have a boyfriend. All I do is try to get rewards on this game and hold out for the day when I finally give into getting high again because God is that something to look forward to.
I used to always smoke a superking at my window late at night and listen to hole when I was really suicidal. I'm doing it now and I feel like I've been taken straight back there. I hate this life.
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