The more I try the closer to the edge I get

[bobzenmate]

I recently got a new job, found some online friends, started hobbies again, working out daily. Yet, I feel more drained, depressed, and unhopeful of a future worth living towards day by day. Socializing feels like it's making me worse instead of better. I don't deeply relate to anyone I've ever known in my life, or online. I feel like an outsider who has to play along with the culture around me. I feel lonely as hell. Nobody feels like a human anymore, everything feels so transactional. I've been lurking this community before this website existed and literally nothing has improved in all those years. I remember I used to have lists of reasons to live. But now it's like I have lists of reasons not to, and not a single reason to stay. Life is meaningless to me, and I'm really to check out, yet I struggle so hard to just do it.

 

[ctb_warrior]

I recently got a new job, found some online friends, started hobbies again, working out daily. Yet, I feel more drained, depressed, and unhopeful of a future worth living towards day by day. Socializing feels like it's making me worse instead of better. I don't deeply relate to anyone I've ever known in my life, or online. I feel like an outsider who has to play along with the culture around me. I feel lonely as hell. Nobody feels like a human anymore, everything feels so transactional. I've been lurking this community before this website existed and literally nothing has improved in all those years. I remember I used to have lists of reasons to live. But now it's like I have lists of reasons not to, and not a single reason to stay. Life is meaningless to me, and I'm really to check out, yet I struggle so hard to just do it.

I also got a new job recently. And to be honest, things are not that bad at present that i should ctb. But, everything feels so meaningless to me. We are in the same boat.