Spite
I wish I never existed.
- Aug 20, 2025
- 712
What a joke. What a sham.
I'm brought into a world I never wanted to be a part of, and now I have to wageslave for the rest of my life? This can't be it. That wave of dread that sweeps over me as soon as my day begins, as soon as I hear that 5:30AM alarm. Then I have to put on my uniform, drive to work, and clock in to a job I despise. I have to spend most of the day being at a place I don't want to be at, doing manual labour that I don't want to do. And to make matters worse, I'm surrounded by toxic, stupid, obnoxious, shitty co-workers who do not give a single iota of a fuck about me.
After slaving away all day, I come home exhausted, drained, and defeated. I just earned a few extra crumbs that will go into my digital bank account, of which most of it will be direct debited out of my account in less than two weeks because of all the bills I have to pay and how unaffordable life has become.
And then I get a few hours of sleep, only to wake up the next morning and repeat the same boring, soul-crushing thing. Over and over again.
It. Never. Fucking. Ends.
You get to a point where you start to ask yourself... "why stay?"
"Why continue?"
I don't want to spend my life being a servant, being a wagecuck. Wageslavery has to be one of my strongest reasons for wanting to CTB. There's no escape from this shit. The alternatives to not having a job are even worse. So I really feel like I'm trapped with no way out other than, quite literally, killing myself.
Sometimes during my commute back home I have thoughts of swerving my car off the road and ramming head-first into a tree or a wall or something. If I ever end up doing this I have to hope that I actually die in the crash and I don't survive.
I'm so tired. Staying alive is absolutely exhausting. Every day is a fucking battle; part of a seemingly endless war. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of struggling. I just want to rest.
Just let me rest.
I'm brought into a world I never wanted to be a part of, and now I have to wageslave for the rest of my life? This can't be it. That wave of dread that sweeps over me as soon as my day begins, as soon as I hear that 5:30AM alarm. Then I have to put on my uniform, drive to work, and clock in to a job I despise. I have to spend most of the day being at a place I don't want to be at, doing manual labour that I don't want to do. And to make matters worse, I'm surrounded by toxic, stupid, obnoxious, shitty co-workers who do not give a single iota of a fuck about me.
After slaving away all day, I come home exhausted, drained, and defeated. I just earned a few extra crumbs that will go into my digital bank account, of which most of it will be direct debited out of my account in less than two weeks because of all the bills I have to pay and how unaffordable life has become.
And then I get a few hours of sleep, only to wake up the next morning and repeat the same boring, soul-crushing thing. Over and over again.
It. Never. Fucking. Ends.
You get to a point where you start to ask yourself... "why stay?"
"Why continue?"
I don't want to spend my life being a servant, being a wagecuck. Wageslavery has to be one of my strongest reasons for wanting to CTB. There's no escape from this shit. The alternatives to not having a job are even worse. So I really feel like I'm trapped with no way out other than, quite literally, killing myself.
Sometimes during my commute back home I have thoughts of swerving my car off the road and ramming head-first into a tree or a wall or something. If I ever end up doing this I have to hope that I actually die in the crash and I don't survive.
I'm so tired. Staying alive is absolutely exhausting. Every day is a fucking battle; part of a seemingly endless war. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of struggling. I just want to rest.
Just let me rest.
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