otomedissection
a boring life with feelings too frail to touch
- Jun 19, 2026
- 29
Hey everyone. I figured I'd post an introduction since I finally made an account despite lurking for a while. I'm 29F from the US who, very ironically, works in the healthcare field in a practice that is very mental health-based. I guess it's always been easier to give other people encouragement and compassion because it feels wrong to do so for myself most of the time. I've had treatment-resistant depression for as long as I can remember and have taken several different medications to varying degrees of success. My current, duloxetine, doesn't really make me feel any better but I stay on it because it doesn't make me feel any worse. I'm also neurodivergent and have an ADHD diagnosis, and I'm exploring the possibility of being tested for autism despite it being fairly difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult woman.
I'm more interested in recovery, though I do consider myself passively suicidal. I worry too much about my family and my cat. But if something out of my control was to happen to me, I'd be fine with it, you know?
On top of my mental health, I feel very disconnected from other people. I have good friends, but I don't think I'm a big part of their lives like they are in mine. I feel like I'm always being judged in public and I hate being perceived despite desperately wanting to be loved and cared about. I often feel like I exist apart from everyone else, and the isolation can be unbearable.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll probably crash out in a vent here at some point in the future and go more in-depth with my struggles, but I thought I'd just drop some basic info here.
I'm more interested in recovery, though I do consider myself passively suicidal. I worry too much about my family and my cat. But if something out of my control was to happen to me, I'd be fine with it, you know?
On top of my mental health, I feel very disconnected from other people. I have good friends, but I don't think I'm a big part of their lives like they are in mine. I feel like I'm always being judged in public and I hate being perceived despite desperately wanting to be loved and cared about. I often feel like I exist apart from everyone else, and the isolation can be unbearable.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll probably crash out in a vent here at some point in the future and go more in-depth with my struggles, but I thought I'd just drop some basic info here.
