Introduce yourself

[heavilysedated]

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

Hey, another total train wreck here. Been a long time lurker but now ready to post

 

[avatanhalen]

hi hi hello.. not comfortable sharing my name on here but im a nonbinary (they/them) 21 year old.

ive had passive suicidal ideation ever since i was a kid and have struggled with self-harm for years. i suspect that i have BPD and also OCD, but the only thing i have diagnosed currently is depression and social anxiety, which makes me slightly avoidant.
its hard for me to find enjoyment in things lately but i do love art, music and psychology. ive been really into south park and splatoon lately

i joined this forum in hopes to find likeminded people and possibly make friends. dms are always open -- im slightly awkward but i warm up eventually

 

[edens]

hi, lurked for awhile, early 20s, don't want to be here(alive) like most else I'm assuming lol, genderqueer they/them/e/eir , got a ton of shit fucked up but it is what it is I guess "life's a bitch and then you die" lol

 

[Nary]

Hello, I'm Nary. When I feel well enough, I like to play video games watch anime, or play with my cats. I'm not the most well spoken person and it takes me a while to write/type. ...I think I'll end my akward intro here. Take care :)

 

[Necessary Evil]

hi! i'm Necessary Evil. i'm a 23-year-old girl with many mental problems. i tried to kill myself at 14 but failed- and it was terrible. from there I knew that the next time i do it, i have to die, i can't fail. i have had therapy in the past but they were very mediocre and it increased my desire to kill myself- so i never came back, so i don't know exactly what mental problem i have, but i'm sure depression and anxiety are one.so here i am. i'm from Puerto Rico (first language is spanish, sorry if sometimes i dont make sense) and i have an intense passion for music, literature and movies. im mostly living in my own world and barely have friends but i hope i get along wit everyone.. !

 

[Skyyyfarer 26]

Hi,
I'm skyy
I'm new to this platform
something about me that I find a bit weird myself, is ever since I've accepted the fact that I want to ctb in the future, I am not anxious or scared anymore. In the past i was really scared and suffering a lot because of my mental health and whenever I opened up about being suicidal was met with toxic positivity or people saying I'm selfish and for some reason I was really desperate for them to understand my pov. But now I'm don't feel the need to be validated and don't feel so lonely either?
Anyway I'm really glad to be here<3

 

[angelcumclean]

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

Hello. I'm angel.
I enjoy reading, writing, and listening to all types of music.
I struggle with depression, but I'm hoping to get better. Even if just for a short while.
This community has helped me in many ways, such as coming to terms with myself and the issues I face.

 

[girlboything]

staring at walls is great and all but my fav game is portal, you can stare at a holes walls staring back at you

i love portal. it was the first video game i played and nothing else has come close except superliminal.
hi, i'm lavendar. i'm autistic, adhd, bpd, cptsd, treatment resistant depression, chronic insomnia, and i have arfid+ and i suspect dyspraxia and dyscalculia but i test weird when i do neuropsych testing bc its fun to me so it doesn't represent how i function outside of the test setting. i'm in residential treatment, again. i love interesting drugs. i'm polyam, kinky (sub-leaning switch), quirosexual/romantic, transgender, and a nonbinary femboy. i have dabbled in sex work since i was 18, both online and offline, but i'm too fucking autistic to market myself properly. i know i make quality content though. i love photography and writing. i am a tti survivor. i've been abused in more ways and forms than i can keep track of. i've had electroconvulsive therapy and ketmine infusions, didn't help but the anesthesia and ketamine was very enjoyable. i love fire. i've almost died twice and had an unknown amount of suicidal gestures. i've spent lots of time in the psych ward. i love my friends so much. i collect dolls, stuffed animals, squishmallows, and carebears. i love dressing gurokawaii but due to mental illness i have days where i dont do hygiene or change my clothes, and i have days where i am very clean and i dress to the fucking nines. i used to have 15k followers on tumblr before the porn ban. that will probably be my greatest achievement. i am 27 and my clinicians tell me i've experienced more trauma than most people will in their entire lives and i expect that to only get worse. i carry around a stuffed narwhal named reggie for comfort.

 

[beetlejab]

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

Hello!! My name is Aster and I go by they/it pronouns. I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I'm studying animation. Apart from that I love Vocaloid, anime, pokemon and plush collecting. My hyperfixation right now is Ensemble Stars and my favorite idols ar Mayoi Ayase and Arashi Narukami.

 

[brainwormz]

Hiya, name's brainwormz(it/it's) I'm a recent 30 something trans thing. I like this place. I have a lot of debufs mentally. My mom hated my first ever psychiatrist because she said" you are going to have to accept that It will never be ok" she was right. I'm currently being treated for schizoaffetive disorder.
I'm an artist and I love drawing candy/pastel gore of anthromorphs. I love drainercore and hyperpop. I even got to have fraxiom croudsurf on top of me this year.
So yeah hi.

 

[Chara]

Not comfortable sharing a name yet. Nineteen cis female (would like to physically be nonbinary but don't feel nonbinary so much as something in between not a girl and nonbinary but definitely not a boy if that makes any sense? Really tired of having disproportionate chest area and menstrual cycle and all that stuff. Want mastectomy not just reduction. It's complicated.) Autistic, no longer verbal due to trauma, severely traumatized in general, considered a "snowflake" due to how triggering words relating to human mating are; had a really really bad experience. Please don't intentionally trigger. Have heart problems among other things, not going to live past thirty most likely even if don't succeed in CBT, but that's A REALLY LONG TIME to deal with everything. Am extremely susceptible to sensory overload, just going outside WILL trigger a meltdown if headphones aren't on at this point. Also have adhd. And dysgraphia, hypermobility, and a whole lot more that cause of adhd is hard to list sorry. Have brain damage from a failed attempt via hanging, apparatus bent and collapsed, woke up. Have bunch of new communication difficulties as a result please be patient am not trying to be confusing or anything am not trolling unless using tone tags for jokes or half jokes or sarcasm or lots of !!!!!!!!!!! When not angry and am not often angry so yeah also have hand issues and am just going to send this at this point because have tried to send something for days now and kept backing out because all the intros were not good enough so am not going to grammer check or format or anything this time so am sorry but otherwise it will never be sent because of ocd and extreme social anxiety and stuff and it's complicated and forgot why was typing this probably required but geez it's hard to shut up now please don't judge too harshly sorry

 

[ag0raph0b1a]

Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!

Hey, I'm B1a your local depressed gamer e-girl. I basically spend all my time at my computer, my laptop or my phone, either playing games scrolling through social media or trying anything to get myself that little boost of serotonin to keep me going.
I'm 21, bisexual, polyamorous and straight up not having a good fucking time.

 

[BurgundySnap]

Hello, my name is Snap. I am 21 years old, and English is not my first language but I will do my best.
I have Huntington's Disease. I am projected to die before 30. When I was 4 years old, I learned what death was, and I knew I was going to die one day. However, if I am going to die from this, I want to die in a way that I find peace with, not this disease. Since I was little I have wanted to die, so this is irony. I am also an alter in a dissociative system. I will speak here when I front.
I am clinically depressed, and I have brain damage from past events. Everything makes me feel tired, now. I cannot see hope or happiness in anything, I think part of me wants to. Maybe I will come to terms with this and end, or maybe I will find peace and delete account one day. Thank you for reading, I appreciate this website. I am sorry if my sentences do not make much sense together, I will do my best.

 

[Bunnymmm]

Name: Bunny
Age:20
Sex:Female
From: East Coast of USA




About me: I want friends, I have a switch, nursing student, depression, pokemon, Splatoon, uh manga and anime I guess, I draw poorly, and I hope to overcome my SI one day to go to peace.

Message me if interested in being friends!!!

 

[Vaermina8]

Greetings! I’m enjoy creative things like writing and drawing (but I’m not that good, not like I’m good at anything haha) Also I love exploring worlds in games and movies, getting trapped in something that is just wonderfully created to ignore everything wrong with myself. Anyway to whoever decides to waste their time reading about me, I wish upon you that the rest of your day be blessed!

 

[PGFMelly]

Hello, I am Melkor
I like music, cooking and playing video games, I hate myself and want to end it.
I dream of getting a gun to blow my brains out

 

[MidnightGloom]

Hello, I am an atheist and aroace.
I suppose I enjoy photography and watching videos and animations.

 

[Penitente]

Hi everyone,

Not very well here but still enjoy some things in this life like music, read and my pets. Don't know where things will go out in the future but I'm glad to share thoughts with you guys!

 

[nofunclub]

Hello! I am in my early 30s and I have been struggling with severe PTSD for over a decade… hundreds of hours of therapy and tons of different meds have not really helped. I've also got an alphabet soup of other disorders, but PTSD is the one I'm unable to overcome in a meaningful way. So that’s why I’m here I guess — exploring other options.

What breaks through the noise, and has kept me here this long, are my cats, certain friendships, and my favorite band.

 

[perfectstorm]

Noob. 60 yo.

Had a big stroke 2 years ago.
I am sick of trying to recover. The stroke came after a 13 year legal battle that my lawyer flubbed and I either sue for malpractice, live on the street or CTB. My son is grown, wants to be out on his own, not stuck with me.
I tried and failed w nitrogen, even though I couldn't walk or use my arm, I got it all hooked up and was in the bag. I got interrupted and it wasn't fun. I got anxious and thought to give it more time. A year and a half later, things got worse. I should have been on the bus long ago..

The only horrible part of CTB is leaving my dog. He is velcro with me and the reason I am still here. But it is time
Or very close to time

Thank you for this site.

 

[irie]

just realized i never introduced myself oops

i'm irie (pronounced eerie). i don't really have much to say about myself because i don't really have many hobbies or anything, but my pms are open! i'm bad at talking/replying to things so i prefer to lurk, but i'm willing to be friends with anyone that's interested. have a nice day :)

 

[Alltheywanted]

hi
I'm 18 years old male from Europe. My 2 only hobbies are playing guitar and wasting time on twitter.
Recently i was diagnosed with severe depression and autism spectrum.
My PMs are open but I'm sorry I'm pretty shy ;)

 

[moomin]

I didn't even realise I already made a post four years ago on this forum. Heck, I didn't even remember I had gotten in in the first place. But I'm back.

Turns out life is still shit. I thought I grew. I really did. But I am still a failure, to everyone who loves me, who thought I could be something. I thought that if enough people had faith in me I would find a reason to exist. But I'm honestly so tired, after finding out that wasn't the case.

I might not me compatible with life. I might not be compatible with others. It might just be me. At this point, I don't have the faintest clue.

People don't respect me. "Having good looks" and masking are not enough to make it into this world. Being a former 'gifted child' feels like damnation. I feel lonely, all the time, and no amount of therapy has changed that. I don't have any sort of diagnosis, but it feels like I have an ingrained timing biological clock that every so often reminds me I'm miserable, that I don't care enough about the outside world, that I don't care about myself, because how could I, when even at my happiest I feel like the only solution is death?

They say loving yourself is the first step. That might be true for some, but it may not be enough for me.

I've always tried to take care of myself first ever since I managed to afford therapy, but it isn't enough. It's me against the world. It's my inner child against the universe. And every single time it feels like I lose, whatever turn I take, whatever new thing I try to start.

I really, desperately, just wish to die.

I may have a serious medical condition. I'll let it fester until it gets to me. But I'll still try to find a way to end myself with some dignity.

And even if I don't, I may eventually give up, and make my death everyone's problem. Because why would I care about others when the world just won't let me die?

 

[AShipinthedark]

I thought I had seen an introduce yourself somewhere...
HI!! Im currently hurtling through space. There are multiple holes in my hull, im on fire, and there is some strange biological mass growing on my as...engines. But that wont stop us, no it wont, The command staff has initiated the self destruct countdown and it is only a matter of time...

 

[natthebrat]

Hi everyone, my name is Natalie, and I'm a 26 year old trans girl currently living in Indianapolis with my girlfriend. Everything is just way too hard. I don't want to be held in this shitty existence full of hardship against my will. I don't need things to change, only to end. So I joined this forum so I can openly say how I feel without receiving judgement nor false optimism. My hobbies (even if they don't really make me feel any better) are music, video games, soccer, and hockey (both creating and enjoying the former two, only watching the latter two). Hope everyone here finds peace, however that looks to you :)

 

[兎の耳]

Hello, I’m Usagi. I’m A 41 year old trans woman. I mostly keep busy with cooking, baking and video games. I love animals, music, and scary stories.

I’m not quite sure I want to ctb quite yet but I’ve had suicidal thoughts for years and am looking for a place where I can discuss them frankly in a supportive environment.

 

[Starry✧･ﾟDaze]

Hey, I'm Starry.
Trauma happened, then depression. Then more trauma happened and 16 years later nothing has changed, I'm still sick.
I'm in my mid 20s now, love video games, true crime, nature, reading, tea, pasta, everything mythical and folklore, cute socks and ofc the classics ~ animals and music.

I used to draw and paint my whole life and it's always been my dream to become a freelance artist one day.
c-PTSD, depression, anxiety and the rest of the squad said no, so that's that I guess.
Last year I developed a chronic heart muscle inflammation and other physical disorders, so I've been trying to get better somehow.

I'm so damn tired, dear strangers.
Years of hospital stays, doctors, therapy, all kind of medication did nothing for me.
And even though there are people around me that I really love, there's always that invisible ripple in the air. I will never be able to close the distance and fit into their world. I can't open up to any of them anymore, I don't want to. So much bad and weird stuff has happened, I've already caused so much pain.
And nothing makes any sense anymore.

I just want to go home, but I don't know where that is.
I'm so lost and can't stop thinking about dying.
My mind and heart are like a black hole and I wonder about reaching the event horizon, my personal point of no return. Whenever this will happen.

-

I'm very bad at introducing myself, sorry.
Thanks for reading. Thanks for providing a place to talk about these things.
Whoever reads this, take care. If we become angels after death, let's fly together some time ♡

 

[distant stranger]

Hi. I'm 21 years old constantly wondering what I could've done to have avoided past and current events that make ctb sound nice.

 

[SymphonysofAgony]

Hi everyone!
I'm Annita, a 22 yr old Latina native to NYC. I hope to learn some new methods here!

 

[lainpilled]

Haiii i'm 19F from the USA, and you all can call me Lain! It's not my real name, but I'm sure you all don't mind. I am a hobbyist artist who works at a preschool and I spend my time hanging out with friends and family, playing video games, discovering new music to listen to, and starting big projects that I never finish xD! I'm not exactly looking for recovery here and me being here is more of a just in case thing, but I will be very happy to interact with others here :D A fair warning is I have BPD and go through mood swings, doesn't help that I stopped my meds lol. But yea I will be very happy to talk with you all here! I'm wanting to post a thread once a day so you all can get to know me and how I am. I can't wait to interact with you all <3