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Brown-Jacket Revy

Brown-Jacket Revy

Waste
Jul 10, 2023
175
36/F.

Perpetual depression and anxiety, weak body.

Disillusioned with the world, spirituality - nothing is a viable escape or consolation anymore, not even death.

I'm exhausted.
 
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A

astamyr

Member
Jul 10, 2023
30
Hello folks
32/M

I liked anime, gaming, music, guitar playing, driving but now i'm in apathy and nothing pleases me

Feel lost and hopeless in this strange world
I have read posts from many people on this forum and have found that many are saying words that I have never heard in my life.
I'm glad to join you, at least for a while
Posting here makes me feel better
I wish the best to everyone

P.S. Apologies for my English, I'm not native
 
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saintbunny

saintbunny

unlucky devil
Jul 10, 2023
8
i'm saintbunny (they/he), i'm a trans furfag with bpd (among some other things), and have struggled with sh and suicidal thoughts ever since i was a kid. i want to recover and have never considered myself a pessimist, but i also understand the road to good mental health is a long one. so for now i cope with my affliction with death and self-destructive behaviors as much as an art student with no money can. i'm a novice animator and lover of cartoons, and i generally excel at most art-related things whenever i'm not sad and high (which is often). i don't currently plan on trying to ctb, but i also know that i'm very impulsive and driven by my emotions. i just take it one day at a time, really. i'm really relieved to have a place to talk about this stuff without censoring myself, at the very least
 
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dontrytohelpmestop

dontrytohelpmestop

New Member
Jul 11, 2023
1
Heya, I was looking through trying to figure out the best way to introduce myself, but I can't answer most of these questions. Well I'm terrible with reading emotions cause I've been void of them most my life and I fake practically everything I do. My life is an absolute mess but every time I talk about how suicidal I am I'm taken as a joke, ridiculed or ignored. I came here cause I'm tired of people pretending they can fix whatever is wrong with me. I worry my "friends" and family constantly and I'm just tired. Hope that during my stay here I'm not too annoying, thanks
 
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TheDyingSolarSystem

TheDyingSolarSystem

Member
Jul 11, 2023
14
Heya, I'm Dying Solar lol

I like Multiple History topics and generally studying the subject.

I like Drawing a lot too.

I'm half White and Half Native American.

I'm 18 years old :p

I really like Team Fortress 2 :D
 
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HoleintheDark

HoleintheDark

Writhing with the worms
Jul 12, 2023
34
Just turned 20. I've always been an emotional wreck, never knew how to relax and have fun for whatever reason. Social anxiety so strong I've never had any social media until now (took about an hour to have the courage to make just this one post lol)

I like doodling a lot! But I'm not allowed to draw most of the time so that's becoming less of an outlet every day. Sometimes I wish I could learn how to make music but I just can't wrap my mind around it :/

I hope to one day be seen as more than just a joke by my peers. Being the youngest in every single group I'm in really doesn't help at all though (not to mention looking like a freaking ogre)

Overall I just can't wait to get all these stupid thoughts out of my head and into words for people to listen, at least for now. That's about it, nice to meet you all <3
 
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Elle

Elle

Specialist
Jul 9, 2023
335
Welcome everyone 🥰
 
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Ms.Starr

Ms.Starr

Member
Sep 10, 2022
48
Hello, everyone! I am Starr.
 
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M

maddieray

New Member
Jun 4, 2023
4
Hey everyone! I'm 24 and I have 6 mental illnesses apparently. Not too shocking since I've been through some pretty bad stuff. I think borderline would be my worst one. That empty feeling I get sometimes and the dissociation really messes with me. I love video games and books since they're an escape from life. I also really enjoy going on hikes. I recently started doing them while smoking the you know what and it makes everything so much prettier. Don't do it though since it's dangerous. I have a husband and a son. I was a teenage pregnancy statistic and so was my mom. I'm here to try and get better since I have family I love but it gets pretty rough. I just want to be sane but I probably never will be but I can at least try to manage it all and pretend I'm sane right?
 
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Elle

Elle

Specialist
Jul 9, 2023
335
Hey everyone! I'm 24 and I have 6 mental illnesses apparently. Not too shocking since I've been through some pretty bad stuff. I think borderline would be my worst one. That empty feeling I get sometimes and the dissociation really messes with me. I love video games and books since they're an escape from life. I also really enjoy going on hikes. I recently started doing them while smoking the you know what and it makes everything so much prettier. Don't do it though since it's dangerous. I have a husband and a son. I was a teenage pregnancy statistic and so was my mom. I'm here to try and get better since I have family I love but it gets pretty rough. I just want to be sane but I probably never will be but I can at least try to manage it all and pretend I'm sane right?
Hey welcome lovely to meet you <3
Hello, everyone! I am Starr.
Hey star, lovely to meet you <3
 
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Arachnid_Antichrist

Arachnid_Antichrist

Probably a Philosophical Eldritch Being
Jul 2, 2023
51
Hi! Imma be fucking honest, I feel like a total piece of shit. I am genuinely a horrible person. I'm not try to sound like one of those people who say this for clout or smth. I have no good qualities that set me apart from other people. I'm boring, lazy, and fat. And I'm not the only person that thinks this. Everyone hates me and I have very little friends. I'm just posting and rambling on here because I have nothing better to say or do and I can't vent anywhere else because people I know snitch on me and like to talk shit.
 
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SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Suicideation?
Jul 11, 2023
146
Hello to all!
I had an unsuccessful temporal lobectomy(brain removal) for epilepsy, so I'm here to vent and plan for the future. I literally donated part of my brain for neurological studies, but didn't receive any donation credit or tax deductions. Now I forget even more names and numbers, but at least I kept my sense of humor
 
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Elle

Elle

Specialist
Jul 9, 2023
335
Welcome, @Arachnid_Antichrist & @eaSea_Breeze *hugs*
 
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L

lonelywander

Member
Jul 15, 2023
33
Hello. I'm new and already feel like I've alienated others in the two responses I've given today. The intense pain comes and goes. I found this site looking for ways to die using household products. I'm torn. I want to die, but I find myself encouraging others to live. My nephew committed suicide aged 14 years. It was so grievous to lose him. Made death so real. Sorry, rambling now. So painful.
 
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Voidly

Voidly

Fellow wanderer
Jul 16, 2023
8
Hello, I have no idea how to introduce myself so I'll just list some basic things? I'm 19, I like playing games, I like listening to music so if you have any recommendations please let me know! I'd like to make friends but I'm kinda shy, I hope this helps you kinda know who I am.
 
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Nexus

Nexus

Member
Jul 16, 2023
15
My first attempt at suicide was weak, when, at age 7 I took a handful of random medication (12 pills at the most) and tried to prove to myself that I wasn't afraid of dying. Understandably, my 7-year-old-self cuddled up to my mom and went to bed terrified. I didn't yet have the resolve to end this meaningless, dull existence.


Let's see what you can really do in life:


  • Spend time with friends/family
  • Go to a restaurant
  • Spend time in a hobby
  • Do some sort of recreational activity
  • Sleep
  • Pay taxes
  • Eat shit and die

I don't really see the point in delaying the inevitable, in watching myself grow old and wither away. You work 45+ years and your reward is being able to barely scrape enough together to afford your medical and funeral bills. Or maybe your consolation for a hard-fought life is getting divorced and losing half of everything. This kind of life simply isn't for me.


More importantly, my family has always had a genetic predisposition to depression. My grandpa was bipolar, and my brothers and I have fought depression our entire lives. In the end, one of my brothers lost his battle when he used a 9mm pistol to take his own life. Before the act, he would lay in bed deep into the day, and be kept awake well past midnight.


After the loss of my brother, my immediate family slowly drifted apart. All of us were consumed by copious amounts of guilt, but especially my mom. She would pass only a year after my brother, also in December. For the year leading up to her death, she was a shell of a person. She would lie in bed like my brother, matching both his blank stare and depressive aura. Although I miss my mom, I do have some peace in knowing that she's reunited with her lost son.


With all of this being said, I've spent the last couple of years - outside of a few family members and a therapist - with no real outlet to talk about all of this. There's still a very big stigma around depression, particularly suicide. My time throughout high school was entirely lonely and isolating. Many of my beliefs are unpopular, and instead of trying to convince me otherwise, others would shame and label me. If I ever opened up about me and my family's struggle with mental health, I was always met with ridicule, or at best, pity. In society, there's a very obvious lack of empathy.


I've always lacked a clear channel to discuss these controversial, yet vital topics in my life. When I stumbled upon SS it was like I had struck gold. Being met with a community that thought and felt much of the same way I did was an extremely liberating experience. From thinking I was alone in my beliefs, to finding an entire community of like-minded individuals was a complete paradigm shift.


From philosophy to suicide, I'm here to challenge my beliefs and engage with other free-thinkers.
Hello. I'm new and already feel like I've alienated others in the two responses I've given today. The intense pain comes and goes. I found this site looking for ways to die using household products. I'm torn. I want to die, but I find myself encouraging others to live. My nephew committed suicide aged 14 years. It was so grievous to lose him. Made death so real. Sorry, rambling now. So painful.
Well first of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I know it's been difficult.


As we both know and have experienced, - in a very morbid way - losing someone to suicide is very unique experience. I can't speak for you, but after losing my brother to suicide, I was entirely consumed by guilt. This was due to the thought of maybe having been able to prevent his death, and it just felt wrong to be happy. For the months after I lost my brother, I would catch myself being happy and always feel ashamed; I felt like a terrible sibling for being able laugh and smile after such a devastating loss.


Oftentimes, I would imagine him looking down at me from Heaven, watching as I'm forced to move on with my life. I can't even comprehend what it must be like to watch your friends and family gradually, day by day, forget about you. I can't imagine what he'd be like had he lived. My memory of him is just that, nothing more than a relic of the past. As much as it pains me to say: I no longer know who my brother is, only who he once was.


That isn't even the worst of everything, the stigma around suicide even further adds to ever-deepening sense of loneliness felt after the death of a family member. I don't know that calling it loneliness does it justice, despair maybe?


I could go on, but I think it's for the best that I don't. You mentioned feeling conflicted; I'm in a similar state of ambivalence myself. I don't really want to live or to die, but of course having the option of being able to press a button and not exist would be too convenient.


Well hey, this is a little about me, but I'd love to do hear what the grieving process has looked like for you. This, or maybe some good qualities of your nephew that you think deserved being mentioned. I'm not expecting any identifiable information, and or for you to talk about it if it's too uncomfortable for you. If that is the case, then I totally understand.
 
Last edited:
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L

lonelywander

Member
Jul 15, 2023
33
My first attempt at suicide was weak, when, at age 7 I took a handful of random medication (12 pills at the most) and tried to prove to myself that I wasn't afraid of dying. Understandably, my 7-year-old-self cuddled up to my mom and went to bed terrified. I didn't yet have the resolve to end this meaningless, dull existence.


Let's see what you can really do in life:


  • Spend time with friends/family
  • Go to a restaurant
  • Spend time in a hobby
  • Do some sort of recreational activity
  • Sleep
  • Pay taxes
  • Eat shit and die

I don't really see the point in delaying the inevitable, in watching myself grow old and wither away. You work 45+ years and your reward is being able to barely scrape enough together to afford your medical and funeral bills. Or maybe your consolation for a hard-fought life is getting divorced and losing half of everything. This kind of life simply isn't for me.


More importantly, my family has always had a genetic predisposition to depression. My grandpa was bipolar, and my brothers and I have fought depression our entire lives. In the end, one of my brothers lost his battle when he used a 9mm pistol to take his own life. Before the act, he would lay in bed deep into the day, and be kept awake well past midnight.


After the loss of my brother, my immediate family slowly drifted apart. All of us were consumed by copious amounts of guilt, but especially my mom. She would pass only a year after my brother, also in December. For the year leading up to her death, she was a shell of a person. She would lie in bed like my brother, matching both his blank stare and depressive aura. Although I miss my mom, I do have some peace in knowing that she's reunited with her lost son.


With all of this being said, I've spent the last couple of years - outside of a few family members and a therapist - with no real outlet to talk about all of this. There's still a very big stigma around depression, particularly suicide. My time throughout high school was entirely lonely and isolating. Many of my beliefs are unpopular, and instead of trying to convince me otherwise, others would shame and label me. If I ever opened up about me and my family's struggle with mental health, I was always met with ridicule, or at best, pity. In society, there's a very obvious lack of empathy.


I've always lacked a clear channel to discuss these controversial, yet vital topics in my life. When I stumbled upon SS it was like I had struck gold. Being met with a community that thought and felt much of the same way I did was an extremely liberating experience. From thinking I was alone in my beliefs, to finding an entire community of like-minded individuals was a complete paradigm shift.


From philosophy to suicide, I'm here to challenge my beliefs and engage with other free-thinkers.

Well first of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I know it's been difficult.


As we both know and have experienced, - in a very morbid way - losing someone to suicide is very unique experience. I can't speak for you, but after losing my brother to suicide, I was entirely consumed by guilt. This was due to the thought of maybe having been able to prevent his death, and it just felt wrong to be happy. For the months after I lost my brother, I would catch myself being happy and always feel ashamed; I felt like a terrible sibling for being able laugh and smile after such a devastating loss.


Oftentimes, I would imagine him looking down at me from Heaven, watching as I'm forced to move on with my life. I can't even comprehend what it must be like to watch your friends and family gradually, day by day, forget about you. I can't imagine what he'd be like had he lived. My memory of him is just that, nothing more than a relic of the past. As much as it pains me to say: I no longer know who my brother is, only who he once was.


That isn't even the worst of everything, the stigma around suicide even further adds to ever-deepening sense of loneliness felt after the death of a family member. I don't know that calling it loneliness does it justice, despair maybe?


I could go on, but I think it's for the best that I don't. You mentioned feeling conflicted; I'm in a similar state of ambivalence myself. I don't really want to live or to die, but of course having the option of being able to press a button and not exist would be too convenient.


Well hey, this is a little about me, but I'd love to do hear what the grieving process has looked like for you. This, or maybe some good qualities of your nephew that you think deserved being mentioned. I'm not expecting any identifiable information, and or for you to talk about it if it's too uncomfortable for you. If that is the case, then I.
Hello Nexus. Thank you for reaching out.
I feel such guilt about my nephew. That we, all of us, failed him. Failed to provide what he needed to thrive and be okay. You said you believe in an afterlife. I strongly believe in God. I'm not catholic, but their belief that suicide is a serious sin sickens me in regard to my nephew. I'm so worried about him. Hoping so badly he's no longer suffering. I want to believe he's more than okay. That he's in the bosom of a God who loves him. Who not only forgives him, but is willing to suffer with him and comfort him.
About me. Not much good to say. I'm in a hole I can't get out of. I feel like such a burden. To my husband especially. To most others also. Do more bad than good.
 
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L

lonelywander

Member
Jul 15, 2023
33
My first attempt at suicide was weak, when, at age 7 I took a handful of random medication (12 pills at the most) and tried to prove to myself that I wasn't afraid of dying. Understandably, my 7-year-old-self cuddled up to my mom and went to bed terrified. I didn't yet have the resolve to end this meaningless, dull existence.


Let's see what you can really do in life:


  • Spend time with friends/family
  • Go to a restaurant
  • Spend time in a hobby
  • Do some sort of recreational activity
  • Sleep
  • Pay taxes
  • Eat shit and die

I don't really see the point in delaying the inevitable, in watching myself grow old and wither away. You work 45+ years and your reward is being able to barely scrape enough together to afford your medical and funeral bills. Or maybe your consolation for a hard-fought life is getting divorced and losing half of everything. This kind of life simply isn't for me.


More importantly, my family has always had a genetic predisposition to depression. My grandpa was bipolar, and my brothers and I have fought depression our entire lives. In the end, one of my brothers lost his battle when he used a 9mm pistol to take his own life. Before the act, he would lay in bed deep into the day, and be kept awake well past midnight.


After the loss of my brother, my immediate family slowly drifted apart. All of us were consumed by copious amounts of guilt, but especially my mom. She would pass only a year after my brother, also in December. For the year leading up to her death, she was a shell of a person. She would lie in bed like my brother, matching both his blank stare and depressive aura. Although I miss my mom, I do have some peace in knowing that she's reunited with her lost son.


With all of this being said, I've spent the last couple of years - outside of a few family members and a therapist - with no real outlet to talk about all of this. There's still a very big stigma around depression, particularly suicide. My time throughout high school was entirely lonely and isolating. Many of my beliefs are unpopular, and instead of trying to convince me otherwise, others would shame and label me. If I ever opened up about me and my family's struggle with mental health, I was always met with ridicule, or at best, pity. In society, there's a very obvious lack of empathy.


I've always lacked a clear channel to discuss these controversial, yet vital topics in my life. When I stumbled upon SS it was like I had struck gold. Being met with a community that thought and felt much of the same way I did was an extremely liberating experience. From thinking I was alone in my beliefs, to finding an entire community of like-minded individuals was a complete paradigm shift.


From philosophy to suicide, I'm here to challenge my beliefs and engage with other free-thinkers.

Well first of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I know it's been difficult.


As we both know and have experienced, - in a very morbid way - losing someone to suicide is very unique experience. I can't speak for you, but after losing my brother to suicide, I was entirely consumed by guilt. This was due to the thought of maybe having been able to prevent his death, and it just felt wrong to be happy. For the months after I lost my brother, I would catch myself being happy and always feel ashamed; I felt like a terrible sibling for being able laugh and smile after such a devastating loss.


Oftentimes, I would imagine him looking down at me from Heaven, watching as I'm forced to move on with my life. I can't even comprehend what it must be like to watch your friends and family gradually, day by day, forget about you. I can't imagine what he'd be like had he lived. My memory of him is just that, nothing more than a relic of the past. As much as it pains me to say: I no longer know who my brother is, only who he once was.


That isn't even the worst of everything, the stigma around suicide even further adds to ever-deepening sense of loneliness felt after the death of a family member. I don't know that calling it loneliness does it justice, despair maybe?


I could go on, but I think it's for the best that I don't. You mentioned feeling conflicted; I'm in a similar state of ambivalence myself. I don't really want to live or to die, but of course having the option of being able to press a button and not exist would be too convenient.


Well hey, this is a little about me, but I'd love to do hear what the grieving process has looked like for you. This, or maybe some good qualities of your nephew that you think deserved being mentioned. I'm not expecting any identifiable information, and or for you to talk about it if it's too uncomfortable for you. If that is the case, then I totally understand.
Os
My first attempt at suicide was weak, when, at age 7 I took a handful of random medication (12 pills at the most) and tried to prove to myself that I wasn't afraid of dying. Understandably, my 7-year-old-self cuddled up to my mom and went to bed terrified. I didn't yet have the resolve to end this meaningless, dull existence.


Let's see what you can really do in life:


  • Spend time with friends/family
  • Go to a restaurant
  • Spend time in a hobby
  • Do some sort of recreational activity
  • Sleep
  • Pay taxes
  • Eat shit and die

I don't really see the point in delaying the inevitable, in watching myself grow old and wither away. You work 45+ years and your reward is being able to barely scrape enough together to afford your medical and funeral bills. Or maybe your consolation for a hard-fought life is getting divorced and losing half of everything. This kind of life simply isn't for me.


More importantly, my family has always had a genetic predisposition to depression. My grandpa was bipolar, and my brothers and I have fought depression our entire lives. In the end, one of my brothers lost his battle when he used a 9mm pistol to take his own life. Before the act, he would lay in bed deep into the day, and be kept awake well past midnight.


After the loss of my brother, my immediate family slowly drifted apart. All of us were consumed by copious amounts of guilt, but especially my mom. She would pass only a year after my brother, also in December. For the year leading up to her death, she was a shell of a person. She would lie in bed like my brother, matching both his blank stare and depressive aura. Although I miss my mom, I do have some peace in knowing that she's reunited with her lost son.


With all of this being said, I've spent the last couple of years - outside of a few family members and a therapist - with no real outlet to talk about all of this. There's still a very big stigma around depression, particularly suicide. My time throughout high school was entirely lonely and isolating. Many of my beliefs are unpopular, and instead of trying to convince me otherwise, others would shame and label me. If I ever opened up about me and my family's struggle with mental health, I was always met with ridicule, or at best, pity. In society, there's a very obvious lack of empathy.


I've always lacked a clear channel to discuss these controversial, yet vital topics in my life. When I stumbled upon SS it was like I had struck gold. Being met with a community that thought and felt much of the same way I did was an extremely liberating experience. From thinking I was alone in my beliefs, to finding an entire community of like-minded individuals was a complete paradigm shift.


From philosophy to suicide, I'm here to challenge my beliefs and engage with other free-thinkers.

Well first of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I know it's been difficult.


As we both know and have experienced, - in a very morbid way - losing someone to suicide is very unique experience. I can't speak for you, but after losing my brother to suicide, I was entirely consumed by guilt. This was due to the thought of maybe having been able to prevent his death, and it just felt wrong to be happy. For the months after I lost my brother, I would catch myself being happy and always feel ashamed; I felt like a terrible sibling for being able laugh and smile after such a devastating loss.


Oftentimes, I would imagine him looking down at me from Heaven, watching as I'm forced to move on with my life. I can't even comprehend what it must be like to watch your friends and family gradually, day by day, forget about you. I can't imagine what he'd be like had he lived. My memory of him is just that, nothing more than a relic of the past. As much as it pains me to say: I no longer know who my brother is, only who he once was.


That isn't even the worst of everything, the stigma around suicide even further adds to ever-deepening sense of loneliness felt after the death of a family member. I don't know that calling it loneliness does it justice, despair maybe?


I could go on, but I think it's for the best that I don't. You mentioned feeling conflicted; I'm in a similar state of ambivalence myself. I don't really want to live or to die, but of course having the option of being able to press a button and not exist would be too convenient.


Well hey, this is a little about me, but I'd love to do hear what the grieving process has looked like for you. This, or maybe some good qualities of your nephew that you think deserved being mentioned. I'm not expecting any identifiable information, and or for you to talk about it if it's too uncomfortable for you. If that is the case, then I totally understand.
PS reading your post is rather humbling. I relate to so much of what you've written. How much has happened to you and that you're still alive takes my breath away. Thanks again for sharing. And however brief, the 👍 is appreciated.
 
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nezu.061

nezu.061

built for blame, laced with shame
Jul 16, 2023
21
i've kind of no idea how to go about this, so i'll just start off with the basics.

i'm piers, trans bi dude (he/him). i like the usual things, i'm always on the internet. i like consuming media: art, edits, fanfics and such. i also attempt to draw and write about things i love. i like painting my nails, even though i'm decent at best.

the games i'm currently obsessed with are cookie run kingdom and pokémon: my faves are sun/moon and sword/shield. i also own sword as well as scarlet. i have a huge obsession over a swsh ship: piers x raihan. pretty much all i think about as of now.

i have a huge interest in music, mainly pop punk. huge fan of my chemical romance, pierce the veil, fall out boy, get scared, etc etc. besides that, i listen to indie and a bit of metal.

fun-ish facts:
i have an earring collection amounting to a total of 50 pairs.
i saw a pierce the veil concert on may 23rd, 2023.
"built for blame, laced with shame," an EP by get scared, came out on my birthday. 28th of august <3.
 
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yaldabaoth

yaldabaoth

she/they
Jun 29, 2023
27
hiii, i'm yaldabaoth. i am a trans woman with borderpolar (borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder comorbidity). i'm a non-theistic satanist and love researching anything to do with religion and spirituality (when i'm not too depressed to pay attention to anything). i'm really into all types of music but i mainly listen to metal stuff~

i believe we all live in a simulated world, like the matrix, so um i'll probably end up schizoposting about that eventually.

it's been really nice here so far! lots of chill people, i'm enjoying it ^^
 
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T

Tatenokai

Member
Jul 17, 2023
16
Hello my real name is Ahte (well not really it's a nickname, I most likely won't reveal my full real name here) but you can call me whatever you please.

I will most likely make a separate thread due to the nature of me being here being vividly different to most.

I am not suicidal, nor have I ever considered such a thing (perhaps my ego is too large for such thoughts) but I have recently had a dear friend of mine take their own life and I believe she may have used either this (or a similar forum) before doing so. I would like to start with saying that (if she did use this forum) the blame belongs to none of you, she had tried committing suicide several times in the past, including long before she was even old enough to understand how to properly use the internet. The cause of her suicide is something I think only I know (and those who abused her know too as they caused it but I doubt she ever mentioned it to them).

I feel I owe it to her to get a deeper understanding of what leads people to this and how I may be able to help them. The problem with modern therapy is lack of actual experience and understanding. It's hard to understand what someone's going through when you've never gone through it yourself, and I understand from the other perspective it's hard to open up to someone who doesn't understand your experiences. Intellectuals and academics who view you as a specimen to be dissected are generally not of much help.

I myself have suffered certain abuses (that I'm not too bothered about nowadays) as a child. Abuse I see others here have also suffered, in fact from what I've read I'd say near-majority of people here have. So I wish to discuss with people here (if they wish) about similar experiences that have led to them developing suicidal thoughts (and even other experiences if they please) to improve my understanding.

I understand that this is a hard topic to talk about. The policy of most governments is to either lock you in a psych ward or heavily drug you, which I think is ridiculous and not at all the correct way of dealing with things. However, I also feel (aside from certain extreme cases) suicide is not the correct option either. I'm looking to understand and compile research, anecdotes, data and stories from here that may help develop ways to lessen the amount of people who are forced into a position where they feel there is no other option. I'm not here to judge you.

I will most likely compile this information into a book, which I will try and use friends I have in publishing companies to publish. Everyone I talk to here will remain anonymous and I will not include anything in the book without explicit permission from the person posting/messaging it.

I would like to end this brief introduction with letting you know that I love you all and I hope that whatever decisions you all make in the future will be the right ones. I'm here specifically to listen, so if you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me.
 
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KILLING_POSSUM

KILLING_POSSUM

"I love you" Don't say anything you can't promise.
Jul 17, 2023
21
Hi, I'm Demo, and I don't really know what to say here.

I guess I could say that I like manga, I'm relatively spoiled but not in a bad way. I enjoy playing games, watching documentaries (space, history, archeology, mental & physical disorder, experiments & more), writing stories (currently working on one based on hard home life, mental disorder & found family), talking about subjects I'm interested in, taking pictures, penguin pebbling and much more.

I am possibly autistic, and possibly have ADD & depression. None of which are confirmed.

My current major interests are the game OMORI, documentaries on YouTube (which is where I found this site), indie games and indie music.

I tend to try to help others as I lack empathy and want to work on my skills to seem like I care (which I probably don't).

I enjoy listening to and talking about music, video games, the human mind, life and other serious and not serious topics.

I might not be very active here, but I'll try my best. Those who end up following me (which I doubt will happen), don't be surprised if I suddenly disappear. I have very low commitment to most things.

Other than that, have a nice day/night.
 
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mereidmo

mereidmo

New Member
Jul 17, 2023
2
Heya, mereidmo here. Funny, I found this site after having stumbled upon a very negative critique of it. It didn't matter, I knew what I wanted. Anyways, now that I'm here, I'm kind of doing that John Travolta move in Pulp Fiction, looking around lost, ya know? If you saw me IRL you'd probably assume I'm very rough around the edges, and while that might be true, it does not truthfully contribute to most people's assumptions that I'm some dumb simpleton. My mind is a terribly complex, and just plain terrible place to be. I just need everything to stop, it's too much.
 
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AnHeroTransGirl

AnHeroTransGirl

Experienced
Jul 17, 2023
224
Well here goes. I'm a 23 year old Autistic transgender female from the USA. I don't wanna say my first name since I do YouTube on the side so you guys can just call me Anzu since... well I like her a lot. In fact I love Yu-Gi-Oh. I'm right wing due to the poor relationship I have with my parents (they're radically left wing). I like gaming, anime and tokusatsu. Admittedly I like anime girls more than I should, hence my love for Anzu. I'm pansexual and have a girlfriend who I care a lot about. I came here for uncensored mental health discussion as therapy and mental health is so politicized in favor of the left these days. I know not everyone else is right wing like I am but at the very least I'm sure those here can agree to unbiased discussions since nowadays anyone can be a professional therapist no matter how morally sound they are. But yeah, that's my story. Hmu if you wanna play EDOPro (assuming I can figure out how to browse profiles without running into a 404).
 
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monkeGoOohOohAhhAhh

monkeGoOohOohAhhAhh

monke with problems
Jul 19, 2023
4
Hey! You can call me Monke. I came from a certain person's video who is a cruel octopus or squid (I don't know how to describe him lol), and I have been scrolling through this site's forums until today when I decided to make an account. I'm currently struggling with my mental health and have found this place to be a safe haven for me. A lot has been going on for me this past late spring and summer so I'm glad that I found a place to express myself freely.

I like to do these things:
- Play video games
- Metal detecting
- Watch YouTube and TV
- Pet my dogs
- Being creative!

My future doesn't look too bright but we'll see how things go. Anyway, I hope y'all be well!
 
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heavilysedated

New Member
Apr 28, 2023
4
Hey guys,

Noticed a lot of threads pop up with new members saying hey. To reduce clutter we have decided to make a welcome thread for everyone new to introduce themselves and for people to welcome them, basically merging all future welcome posts into this one.

With that said, welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, we're a pro-choice forum; make sure to read the rules and check the resource sticky out too!

Post your introductions here!
Hey, another total train wreck here. Been a long time lurker but now ready to post
 
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avatanhalen

avatanhalen

wannabe emo kid
Jul 18, 2023
7
hi hi hello.. not comfortable sharing my name on here but im a nonbinary (they/them) 21 year old.

ive had passive suicidal ideation ever since i was a kid and have struggled with self-harm for years. i suspect that i have BPD and also OCD, but the only thing i have diagnosed currently is depression and social anxiety, which makes me slightly avoidant.
its hard for me to find enjoyment in things lately but i do love art, music and psychology. ive been really into south park and splatoon lately

i joined this forum in hopes to find likeminded people and possibly make friends. dms are always open -- im slightly awkward but i warm up eventually
 
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E

edens

New Member
Dec 27, 2022
2
hi, lurked for awhile, early 20s, don't want to be here(alive) like most else I'm assuming lol, genderqueer they/them/e/eir , got a ton of shit fucked up but it is what it is I guess "life's a bitch and then you die" lol
 
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