Discussion Incel gang

[Dr Iron Arc]

Noooo, if anything just don't be in a relationship until you are sure that sex isn't the only thing you want. Or like I mean if it's truly your thing, you can join the furry community cos im pretty sure they accept all body types and so on, and tbh 100000% I didnt care abt any of that and I loved him af, so just know there is people out there who genuinely don't give a fuck about appearance or genetics or dick size, they tend to be more on the ace or demisexual spectrum tho i think but im sure there are tons.

I mean I'm not really into furries and I don't want just sex otherwise I would have already tried to order an escort or something though maybe I still will right before I CTB as long as I can have them pretend we're like lovers on our honeymoon or something just so I can get a small taste of it right before I die. I already know that I want that optimal blend of both pure emotional love and physical sex that proves so elusive even for many existing couples. Just sex alone wouldn't be enough for me. I want to cuddle and do other expressions of physical affection afterwards until I'm ready to go again a couple hours later. I used to think my sex drive wasn't that high since I only masturbate once a day or every two days in order to flush out prostate cancer but then when I met someone online who was a self-proclaimed nymphomaniac and who showed interest in me BECAUSE I was an incel with a really small dick, suddenly I was able to go at it five times in one day and so I fear I would need for whoever my partner is to be able to match that.

My appearance isn't the only reason I'm an incel. I'm 6'0 and 210 pounds which is overweight but not obese. Unfortunately both my voice and my natural personality work against me. I'm way too fearful to ever have the right amount of confidence and much like love, whenever I am confident I don't know what to do with it and it just translates to cockiness that spells my doom. My voice too does me no favors, it's really high even though it used to be even higher before puberty and causes a lot of people to think I'm either gay or a teen.

Then there's all the other external factors in my life working against me where even if I gained the strength to deal with them, it would involve a lot of me whining about these factors to my partner, then she'd have to build me up and comfort me through them. Repeat ad infinitum. My sister literally does this with her boyfriends that she's had and it's the only way she stays sane but I don't want to have to put any future girlfriends I have through that even though it would be necessary for me. There's only so much anyone can take and no woman should have to suffer dealing with my bullshit.

 

[Unlucked]

I mean I'm not really into furries and I don't want just sex otherwise I would have already tried to order an escort or something though maybe I still will right before I CTB as long as I can have them pretend we're like lovers on our honeymoon or something just so I can get a small taste of it right before I die. I already know that I want that optimal blend of both pure emotional love and physical sex that proves so elusive even for many existing couples. Just sex alone wouldn't be enough for me. I want to cuddle and do other expressions of physical affection afterwards until I'm ready to go again a couple hours later. I used to think my sex drive wasn't that high since I only masturbate once a day or every two days in order to flush out prostate cancer but then when I met someone online who was a self-proclaimed nymphomaniac and who showed interest in me BECAUSE I was an incel with a really small dick, suddenly I was able to go at it five times in one day and so I fear I would need for whoever my partner is to be able to match that.

My appearance isn't the only reason I'm an incel. I'm 6'0 and 210 pounds which is overweight but not obese. Unfortunately both my voice and my natural personality work against me. I'm way too fearful to ever have the right amount of confidence and much like love, whenever I am confident I don't know what to do with it and it just translates to cockiness that spells my doom. My voice too does me no favors, it's really high even though it used to be even higher before puberty and causes a lot of people to think I'm either gay or a teen.

Then there's all the other external factors in my life working against me where even if I gained the strength to deal with them, it would involve a lot of me whining about these factors to my partner, then she'd have to build me up and comfort me through them. Repeat ad infinitum. My sister literally does this with her boyfriends that she's had and it's the only way she stays sane but I don't want to have to put any future girlfriends I have through that even though it would be necessary for me. There's only so much anyone can take and no woman should have to suffer dealing with my bullshit.

I mean that's a tall order, to have a gf want to do it with you and keep up that much sexually is v different cos girls have different patterns of horniness and sometimes they don't even masturbate once a month. Nymphomaniacs are also rare types of people. So to find the girl you are expecting who is hypersexual and wants to give you emotional intimacy ON TOP. You mostly won't find that unless you are looking in the right way, it sounds like an anime girl fantasy tbh. I think your best bet would be fetlife or bdsm circles. And yeah you can pay an escort to do that it's called girlfriend experience and it usually costs double the regular like 450 and even then there's restrictions. I did it once during my escort days and it was v sad just thinking about how lonely someone has to be to pay for that. Anyways yeah. And even then I think the guy could tell I was faking so it might not be good :(

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I mean that's a tall order, to have a gf want to do it with you and keep up that much sexually is v different cos girls have different patterns of horniness and sometimes they don't even masturbate once a month. Nymphomaniacs are also rare types of people. So to find the girl you are expecting who is hypersexual and wants to give you emotional intimacy ON TOP. You mostly won't find that unless you are looking in the right way, it sounds like an anime girl fantasy tbh. I think your best bet would be fetlife or bdsm circles.

I admit my standards are weird but not from anime, since I don't watch much of that though I do watch lots of western cartoons. Don't know if I'm going to try finding someone anymore because of all the other stuff against me either. Even if someone does meet those lofty requirements I'd probably still find a way to mess it up so I'm better off dead before I make someone have to pay for my inadequacy.

 

[Unlucked]

I admit my standards are weird but not from anime, since I don't watch much of that though I do watch lots of western cartoons. Don't know if I'm going to try finding someone anymore because of all the other stuff against me either. Even if someone does meet those lofty requirements I'd probably still find a way to mess it up so I'm better off dead before I make someone have to pay for my inadequacy.

It's a very lofty requirements, and most women would not jump into a relationship where they feel pressured to sexually satisfy the guy. Keep in mind women are constantly aware of the male gaze and constantly worrying about her beauty and sex appeal 24/7 even subconsciously, that's why cosmetic surgeries and stuff are so popular. They don't want a guy who inflates that pressure when that idea of being sexually desirable is loaded on top of them from society everyday and sometimes it even feels like that alone dictates their value as a woman. My sis had a eating disorder all through hs cos of this and yeah the reason she liked her bf was cos he was wholesome and didn't push sex on her till she was ready, her relay lasted 5 yrs and she said he was sweet and not like other guys. So just keep that in mind. That girls or fem people face an immense amount of pressure relating to their sexuality and to have it enforced by a guy who expects those things of her she probably won't give it a chance. And being bombarded with thousands of dick pics a day in your DMs just makes it worse. So you can imagine that getting with a guy who holds such a high importance on that stuff is red flags.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's a very lofty requirements, and most women would not jump into a relationship where they feel pressured to sexually satisfy the guy.

Yeah, I imagine they wouldn't want the rest of me either hence why I'm an incel. I imagine the only appeal of Incels is that they can be turned into mega-simps and worship the ground their ladies walk on which I'm prepared to do but I doubt that's enough to make up for the rest of my awfulness.

 

[Unlucked]

Yeah, I imagine they wouldn't want the rest of me either hence why I'm an incel. I imagine the only appeal of Incels is that they can be turned into mega-simps and worship the ground their ladies walk on which I'm prepared to do but I doubt that's enough to make up for the rest of my awfulness.

I never asked for money from my ex in fact I gave him my escorting money so it's not all true. But yeah if you seem like you just want sex some girls Wil ltake that as a signal that you aren't worth anything but your money. Likewise if you appreciate a girl for her personality and qualities and make a connection with her even without sex, she will respond by not treating you like a wallet. I think its about the impression you give off when you meet someone. Like I can instantly tell if a guy is all about sex usually in the first 5 mins of talking to one, and that makes me feel objectified or used for sex. So likewise I can imagine that my thought process would be along the lines of "well if he just wants me for sex its valid if I just want him for money". That's why I think its important for guys to really hide their thirst for sex until there's a genuine connection built otherwise she's just gonna view u as a fwb or a walking wallet and not as someone she can rely on. Fun fact my sis didn't give it up to her bf for a year. To test what he was all about.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I never asked for money from my ex in fact I gave him my escorting money so it's not all true. But yeah if you seem like you just want sex some girls Wil ltake that as a signal that you aren't worth anything but your money. Likewise if you appreciate a girl for her personality and qualities and make a connection with her even without sex, she will respond by not treating you like a wallet. I think its about the impression you give off when you meet someone. Like I can instantly tell if a guy is all about sex usually in the first 5 mins of talking to one, and that makes me feel objectified or used for sex. So likewise I can imagine that my thought process would be along the lines of "well if he just wants me for sex its valid if I just want him for money". That's why I think its important for guys to really hide their thirst for sex until there's a genuine connection built otherwise she's just gonna view u as a fwb or a walking wallet and not as someone she can rely on.

What if I end up hiding my thirst so well that they assume I don't want it at all then feel weird about me wanting it?

Shouldn't these intentions be made clear from the beginning, from both ends? Maybe that too is asking too much...

 

[Unlucked]

What if I end up hiding my thirst so well that they assume I don't want it at all then feel weird about me wanting it?

Shouldn't these intentions be made clear from the beginning, from both ends? Maybe that too is asking too much...

He told her he wanted her to be his gf the first time he met her and asked her out for coffee but he didn't even attempt any sexual gestures for like a year, he was focused on getting to know her as a person and making her not feel pressured that she had to give him something in return (aka sex) and believe me that pressure is there especially when you've had "normie" guys who legit pretend to be interested in you as a person only to get you for sex. Like that has happened soooo many times you would not believe so yeah. If you are instantly talking about your kinks just don't expect that relationship to be anything but transactional and devoid of feeling. That's why I think guys should work on their attachment to sex in itself, I honestly think it's a dopamine related issue from pornograpjy consumption from a young age tbh.

 

[Lupgevif]

Shouldn't these intentions be made clear from the beginning, from both ends? Maybe that too is asking too much...

No, this is not too much to ask. Both parties in a relationship should be open about their intentions, the same way anyone is allowed to leave a relationship if they feel their desire is not being met or the other person's desire is too much to do.

 

[Unlucked]

No, this is not too much to ask. Both parties in a relationship should be open about their intentions, the same way anyone is allowed to leave a relationship if they feel their desire is not being met or the other person's desire is too much to do.

Yeah that is true, if you really just want sex at end of the day you should be upfront. But I hear alot of incel people say they want intimacy + sex, so if that's the case they have to prove they aren't there for JUST the sex. Literally based on all the people I've talked to there's certain red flags à Guy will exhibit during the dating phase that will instantly cos a girl to be like nope. And most of it is tied to sex, another being how they deal with anger, how they treat their parents/family etc. Those are all signals cos some guys flat out lie. But also just coming out and saying "hey I want sex and intimacy" it already steers to sexuality from the first convo
Most girls have common sense and know guys have desires, the key is making her not feel like you only like her for that. I.e à Guy who was courting me last yr legit brought cake to my door, wrote me inspirational quotes the whole shebang and didn't do anything sexual for like 5 mos but I rejected him anyways cos i have to deal with too mucch but like yeah that's how u do it rightttttt. Bring her food like legit

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

He told her he wanted her to be his gf the first time he met her and asked her out for coffee but he didn't even attempt any sexual gestures for like a year, he was focused on getting to know her as a person and making her not feel pressured that she had to give him something in return (aka sex) and believe me that pressure is there especially when you've had "normie" guys who legit pretend to be interested in you as a person only to get you for sex. Like that has happened soooo many times you would not believe so yeah. If you are instantly talking about your kinks just don't expect that relationship to be anything but transactional and devoid of feeling. That's why I think guys should work on their attachment to sex in itself, I honestly think it's a dopamine related issue from pornograpjy consumption from a young age tbh.

I'm not talking necessarily about kinks, just some kind of openness about what each person might want or expect from the other person. Kinks can be explored later for sure.

The attachment to sex comes from testosterone and maybe other parts of the endocrine system. Porn is just a symptom of our dicks and testes taking over our minds and turning us into coombrains whenever they see fit. Things like soy, mint, or plastic water bottles can reduce the impacts of testosterone but ultimately the urges themselves never go away they just have varying degrees of success.

 

[Unlucked]

I'm not talking necessarily about kinks, just some kind of openness about what each person might want or expect from the other person. Kinks can be explored later for sure.

The attachment to sex comes from testosterone and maybe other parts of the endocrine system. Porn is just a symptom of our dicks and testes taking over our minds and turning us into coombrains whenever they see fit. Things like soy, mint, or plastic water bottles can reduce the impacts of testosterone but ultimately the urges themselves never go away they just have varying degrees of success.

Yeah no, if a guy says he expects sex from me, end game. I don't want to feel expected to give that. And some guys have been able to recondition their brain not to be like that, try nofap i heard by month 3 your sex drive normalizes. And no our bodies just like anything can be prone to destructive habits based on dopamine response. It is not a humans nature to overeat that is a learned response, just like masturbating excessively to porn for HOURS each day is not normal.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yeah no, if a guy says he expects sex from me, end game. I don't want to feel expected to give that.

Well not like that obviously I mean like in a more two-way discussion kind of deal. I dunno.

 

[Unlucked]

Well not like that obviously I mean like in a more two-way discussion kind of deal. I dunno.

Yeah no. If you want sex flirt with her from the start and she will get what you are all about. If you want intimacy plus sex don't even bother to explain that cos that's how relationships are supposed to be by default she will obv know that as a no brainer.. The moment you impose expectations on her though regarding sex watch her run and never look back.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yeah no. If you want sex flirt with her from the start and she will get what you are all about. If you want intimacy plus sex don't even bother to explain that cos that's how relationships are supposed to be by default she will obv know that as a no brainer.. The moment you impose expectations on her though regarding sex watch her run and never look back.

This is all assuming any woman would even want to get this far with me in the first place. I'm not talking about imposing or demanding any expectations either but if that's what I end up doing, all the more reason I deserve to die anyway.

 

[Unlucked]

This is all assuming any woman would even want to get this far with me in the first place. I'm not talking about imposing or demanding any expectations either but if that's what I end up doing, all the more reason I deserve to die anyway.

Tbh due to the importance you place on it I wouldn't date you and wasting years of my life into that already knowing what you value, however I'm sure there are women out there who value sex just as much although they are more rare and would try to meet your demands. She might even allow you to impose expectation of what you expect from her depending on if she's into that vibe. But honestly that seems more like a fetish lifestyle. Try fetlife.

Tbh due to the importance you place on it I wouldn't date you and wasting years of my life into that already knowing what you value, however I'm sure there are women out there who value sex just as much although they are more rare and would try to meet your demands. She might even allow you to impose expectation of what you expect from her depending on if she's into that vibe. But honestly that seems more like a fetish lifestyle. Try fetlife.

I'm gonna cbt anyways lelelelelele sooo no romance for miii but glgl

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Tbh due to the importance you place on it I wouldn't date you and wasting years of my life into that already knowing what you value, however I'm sure there are women out there who value sex just as much although they are more rare and would try to meet your demands. She might even allow you to impose expectation of what you expect from her depending on if she's into that vibe. But honestly that seems more like a fetish lifestyle. Try fetlife.

As I said before, there's way more to it than sex for me and I really don't want to actually impose anything. I don't really care that you don't want to date me because I already think nobody should and not just because I happen to want sex sometimes. You seem to be under the impression that some weird expectations are the only reason I'm an incel but as I said before it's so much more than that. No amount of fetishes will save me from dragging someone down just by having to deal with my negative energy.

 

[Unlucked]

As I said before, there's way more to it than sex for me and I really don't want to actually impose anything. I don't really care that you don't want to date me because I already think nobody should and not just because I happen to want sex sometimes. You seem to be under the impression that some weird expectations are the only reason I'm an incel but as I said before it's so much more than that. No amount of fetishes will save me from dragging someone down just by having to deal with my negative energy.

You literally just said like 3 responses ago that you masturbate 5 times a day and you expect your partner to adhere to your sexual appetites and "keep up" if that isn't imposing idk what is. And yeah you are kind of negative but that's okay it's probably because you are lonely and/or have been for a long time. Tfw I want to give you a hug and encourage you to focus on more productive things. :L You remind me of him sooo much eep

 

[UnemployedMD]

I've read a little about this community over the last couple of hours. Your concerns are all very valid and the world is not fair. But no matter how weird, unattractive, or unlovable any of you think you are, I PROMISE you there are women who are the same (hell the average woman likely has even more baggage to deal with or rather at least the ones I've gotten close to). The state of mind many of you have fallen into are fallacies that may be linked to some social anxiety, etc, but I assure you all that is fixable with not as much effort as you think. I am literally talking about potentially weeks of reinvention and strategy. Especially in a world where half of dating/sex comes from online apps this really is now easier than ever for you to get that aspect of your life fulfilled. It will take some trial and error and will come with rejection (this was a big fear in my life for a while too) but it is inevitable and something you just need to accept. And you will probably need to be a little bit less picky with what you get at first but that will quickly change with even a little experience. The hot women you see with stereotypically unremarkable men is just due to nothing more than them having mastered a skill you haven't taken the time to explore yet (which trust me, any man can master). The fact that anyone would think about ctb over women making you feel unworthy is heartbreaking to hear. No one should ever hold that much power over you.

Getting a prostitute will get you sex, but what many of you are craving is actually intimacy with another person who cares about you. In which doing the former will probably not make you feel much better since a lot of this mentality has to do with self-esteem and feelings of self worth. But getting a woman to sleep with you on a committed or non-committed basis isn't THAT hard and I honestly wish someone told me these things earlier in life instead of having to figure them out on my own or through a forum like this where most of the responses aren't encouraging or offering any steps to make the situation better.

 

[Breakout92]

I've read a little about this community over the last couple of hours. Your concerns are all very valid and the world is not fair. But no matter how weird, unattractive, or unlovable any of you think you are, I PROMISE you there are women who are the same (hell the average woman likely has even more baggage to deal with or rather at least the ones I've gotten close to). The state of mind many of you have fallen into are fallacies that may be linked to some social anxiety, etc, but I assure you all that is fixable with not as much effort as you think. I am literally talking about potentially weeks of reinvention and strategy. Especially in a world where half of dating/sex comes from online apps this really is now easier than ever for you to get that aspect of your life fulfilled. It will take some trial and error and will come with rejection (this was a big fear in my life for a while too) but it is inevitable and something you just need to accept. And you will probably need to be a little bit less picky with what you get at first but that will quickly change with even a little experience. The hot women you see with stereotypically unremarkable men is just due to nothing more than them having mastered a skill you haven't taken the time to explore yet (which trust me, any man can master). The fact that anyone would think about ctb over women making you feel unworthy is heartbreaking to hear. No one should ever hold that much power over you.

I agree. I dated someone once who considered himself part of these communities before he met me.. he thought he had all sorts of irredeemable traits and that he didn't deserve love or anything. 2 years of that and I had to break up with him because he never really got better. I don't think that not having had sex is the real root cause of anyone's problems. It's just a symptom. I'm not saying it's easy to figure out what it's a symptom of, but it's probably more complex than just being ugly or whatever surface level thing people think it is

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

You literally just said like 3 responses ago that you masturbate 5 times a day and you expect your partner to adhere to your sexual appetites and "keep up" if that isn't imposing idk what is. And yeah you are kind of negative but that's okay it's probably because you are lonely and/or have been for a long time. Tfw I want to give you a hug and encourage you to focus on more productive things. :L You remind me of him sooo much eep

I said that I was ABLE to masturbate five times in that one day not that I do that daily anymore. In fact nowadays I'm back to my mechanical once a day regiment. I didn't impose that on anyone either, it was just kind of because I was excited that someone was finally talking to me in that way but even though this woman meets this level I never knew I could reach, it still didn't work out between us for other reasons and so I've just been left here alone as usual. I'm guess I'm just saying that my expectations for myself were elevated because before I always assumed I'd be a one-and-done kinda guy.

I suppose another thing working against me is that I dwell too much on the past and all the missed opportunities I had where I came close to achieving the "perfect" existence but failed whether due to my own incompetence or sheer bad luck. I imagine this baggage might have contributed to why she left me or maybe it was the fact that I have to provide constant care for my adult sister due to her severe autism. Either way, those are both legitimate reasons to not want to be with me so I don't hold that against her even though she was as close to what I imagine I'd be happy with as possible. Knowing this doesn't make it any better for me and it just frustratingly drags me down deeper because I know I might not be able to change it even if I did get what I want.

I'm sorry I made you feel sorry for me. I have a bad habit of doing that and it wasn't my intention.

 

[Barteljaap]

Yeah no, if a guy says he expects sex from me, end game. I don't want to feel expected to give that. And some guys have been able to recondition their brain not to be like that, try nofap i heard by month 3 your sex drive normalizes. And no our bodies just like anything can be prone to destructive habits based on dopamine response. It is not a humans nature to overeat that is a learned response, just like masturbating excessively to porn for HOURS each day is not normal.

I don't think that's what he means by open communication. You can tell someone you want sex with them in an intense way or you can say it with a "take it or leave it" attitude. I don't see what's wrong with the latter.

 

[Lupgevif]

Also, nofap is a myth and internet trend more than anything truly beneficial to your health. Leaving porn and excessive masturbation is healthy, but the "stay 90 days without jerking off and your habits will reset" is bullshit based on nothing but unsourced claims.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

I see the .co website got taken down today? I admit I explored the place recently but was banned within a week. Not incel enough apparently (though I can live with that).

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I see the .co website got taken down today? I admit I explored the place recently but was banned within a week. Not incel enough apparently (though I can live with that).

Yeah you apparently can't even put any fictional girls in your profile picture there? Unless I misinterpreted one of their rules.

 

[Amumu]

I've read a little about this community over the last couple of hours. Your concerns are all very valid and the world is not fair. But no matter how weird, unattractive, or unlovable any of you think you are, I PROMISE you there are women who are the same (hell the average woman likely has even more baggage to deal with or rather at least the ones I've gotten close to). The state of mind many of you have fallen into are fallacies that may be linked to some social anxiety, etc, but I assure you all that is fixable with not as much effort as you think. I am literally talking about potentially weeks of reinvention and strategy. Especially in a world where half of dating/sex comes from online apps this really is now easier than ever for you to get that aspect of your life fulfilled. It will take some trial and error and will come with rejection (this was a big fear in my life for a while too) but it is inevitable and something you just need to accept. And you will probably need to be a little bit less picky with what you get at first but that will quickly change with even a little experience. The hot women you see with stereotypically unremarkable men is just due to nothing more than them having mastered a skill you haven't taken the time to explore yet (which trust me, any man can master). The fact that anyone would think about ctb over women making you feel unworthy is heartbreaking to hear. No one should ever hold that much power over you.

Getting a prostitute will get you sex, but what many of you are craving is actually intimacy with another person who cares about you. In which doing the former will probably not make you feel much better since a lot of this mentality has to do with self-esteem and feelings of self worth. But getting a woman to sleep with you on a committed or non-committed basis isn't THAT hard and I honestly wish someone told me these things earlier in life instead of having to figure them out on my own or through a forum like this where most of the responses aren't encouraging or offering any steps to make the situation better.

Well for some people being single has only been one cause of their depression.
Perhaps if I hadn't been single when I was 18 I wouldn't be so fucked up now.
I don't consider myself an "incel" since I'm not searching for a partner at all.
But now it's too late, a partner wouldn't change anything anymore.
Depression has decided to stay with me forever; here's my real partner.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Yeah you apparently can't even put any fictional girls in your profile picture there? Unless I misinterpreted one of their rules.

Dunno bout that but I was banned for saying I once had a girlfriend like ten years ago. Pretty pathetic, if you ask me.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Dunno bout that but I was banned for saying I once had a girlfriend like ten years ago. Pretty pathetic, if you ask me.

That sucks. I feel like I would have been banned too once they found out I'm 6 feet.

 

[Amumu]

You literally just said like 3 responses ago that you masturbate 5 times a day and you expect your partner to adhere to your sexual appetites and "keep up" if that isn't imposing idk what is. And yeah you are kind of negative but that's okay it's probably because you are lonely and/or have been for a long time. Tfw I want to give you a hug and encourage you to focus on more productive things. :L You remind me of him sooo much eep

What you don't understand is that pmo doesn't increase libido at all, it's the opposite.
Masturbation >< Real sex
It causes low libido and erectile dysfunction among young men.
Moderate abstinence is supposed to increase libido on the contrary.
For me it's doing nothing currently though.

Honestly I'll assume you and your bf were very young since it's literally impossible to do pmo and be horny at the same time as adults.

 

[UnemployedMD]

Well for some people being single has only been one cause of their depression.
Perhaps if I hadn't been single when I was 18 I wouldn't be so fucked up now.
I don't consider myself an "incel" since I'm not searching for a partner at all.
But now it's too late, a partner wouldn't change anything anymore.
Depression has decided to stay with me forever; here's my real partner.

Yes of course. Depression is almost always multifaceted and has many layers. I have no idea how old you are (you sound young) or what other things are causing you to be depressed. All I can say is if one of them is due to having ever felt like an "incel" or any of the other terms this community has coined, just know it is fixable even if you feel like giving up. It sounds like finding a partner is still important to you in some way and many people like to say they no longer want it anymore as a means to feel better about themselves when they truly believe the opposite. Whatever you decide to do as far as ctb or giving up on pursuits of intimacy, please at least give it one more dedicated try getting out of your comfort zone if you think it could in any way make you feel better about yourself and your perspective on life.