Venting i’m trapped in a lease with my fp

[bunintherug]

i moved in with her months ago, and we've been involved with eachother for longer. she saved my life when my ex left me. she used to call me her "boywife". and now she doesn't want to be with me, and thinks it's unhealthy for me to stay around her. she thinks i'm lying about my symptoms, and says i make a choice when i say things during my bpd episodes. she yells at me whenever i try to have a conversation about our relationship with her, which triggers me so bad i can't even keep my thoughts straight.
i have no way to get away from her, i just signed a lease for until next november. i don't have a safe place to be anymore.