Blowba
A Girl on the Shore
- Aug 12, 2018
- 76
i'm honestly so tired of this especially with my life events that has happened and for the future events. i dont want want to put any effort anymore no matter how hard i try the thought of suicide is always in the back of my mind. all i want is to be calm and at peace with my life. but i cant even achieve that at all i truly hate being alive but i have to for a future event that regards my family. all i want is to be loved but i have never even experienced it not with my family, friends, or relationship. love is all i really want and the fact that i now have a more difficult time to experience because of my last relationship makes me want to peel off my own skin. it just truly confirmed that i cant be loved because even when i give someone all of mine it will never be there for me. the ex from my relationship owes me money and they are finally going to pay me after a whole year, but they asked me the question to be friends. honestly it makes me angry and confused especially how they treated me like i was bottom of the barrel dirt and how abusive they were to me. the thought that they want to be friends angers me so much but im so confused because the feelings i have not that I am still in love with them its that i know ill become more depressed especially since i know theyll treat me decency something i never received in our relationship. im tired of being in situations like these i want to disappear and never look at people again
