Venting i'm tired and I just want to talk about what happened to me last week.

[pieceoffox]

I don't know why I'm writing this post. Maybe it's just pointless whining, maybe my problems don't have any weight at all and aren't considered problems, but I'm really tired of everything and I just need somewhere to vent.

I recently told my family about my mental health issues. I half expected the reaction I got, but I kept hoping for the best. Ultimately, I was ridiculed and my problems were dismissed. I'd love to see their faces when they see my lifeless body after I decide to have CTB. This situation really took a toll on me, but I tried to hold on.

At the same time, I was dealing with very stressful bureaucratic matters, which also added to my stress, and I was on edge, like a room filled with gas, blown up by the slightest spark.

And today my psychiatrist wrote to me that she is moving to another city. I am very lucky to have her. She is an excellent specialist and person. I will have to look for another psychiatrist again among a bunch of private ones, and I can't imagine how I will find another psychiatrist. I just want to quit. This has been the final thing that has happened in the last few days. It's like the whole world is conspiring against me.

I just went into a slight remission from self-harm. I'm just starting to feel a little better. I'm close to cutting again, and I'm worse than before.
What's the point of trying if life only brings more problems and gets worse?

 

[FF777]

did your family not know you are seeing a psychiatrist already?.. how would they not know about mental health issues already?..

i wouldn't recommend letting any sort of pouting/revenge play a very big factor in whether you decide to CTB or not though (talking about the "they will regret not caring about me more once they see me dead" mentality).. it hurts both them and you ultimately, so it benefits no one..

you get along with parents a lot better when you don't live with them.. is there a way you can maybe find a room-mate that would want to try to find a place to rent together?.. although i will say that living with parents does save a LOT of money.. you aren't having to pay rent or bills (usually) while living with parents..

 

[bagel12]

I don't know why I'm writing this post. Maybe it's just pointless whining, maybe my problems don't have any weight at all and aren't considered problems, but I'm really tired of everything and I just need somewhere to vent.

I recently told my family about my mental health issues. I half expected the reaction I got, but I kept hoping for the best. Ultimately, I was ridiculed and my problems were dismissed. I'd love to see their faces when they see my lifeless body after I decide to have CTB. This situation really took a toll on me, but I tried to hold on.

At the same time, I was dealing with very stressful bureaucratic matters, which also added to my stress, and I was on edge, like a room filled with gas, blown up by the slightest spark.

And today my psychiatrist wrote to me that she is moving to another city. I am very lucky to have her. She is an excellent specialist and person. I will have to look for another psychiatrist again among a bunch of private ones, and I can't imagine how I will find another psychiatrist. I just want to quit. This has been the final thing that has happened in the last few days. It's like the whole world is conspiring against me.

I just went into a slight remission from self-harm. I'm just starting to feel a little better. I'm close to cutting again, and I'm worse than before.
What's the point of trying if life only brings more problems and gets worse?

no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed with all of these negative things happening at the same time, i would be too. try to be extra kind to yourself right now. is there something small you can do to bring yourself comfort?

i'm so sorry that your family ridiculed and dismissed you :( it's very upsetting when the people we are supposed to trust harm us instead.

i'm also sorry to hear that about your psychiatrist. could you ask your current psychiatrist to help you find a new psychiatrist? back when i had a therapist and she had to leave, she sent me to a new therapist who she already knew and trusted, can your psychiatrist do something like this? or can you see your psychiatrist through telehealth until you find a new one?

 

[pieceoffox]

did your family not know you are seeing a psychiatrist already?.. how would they not know about mental health issues already?..

i wouldn't recommend letting any sort of pouting/revenge play a very big factor in whether you decide to CTB or not though (talking about the "they will regret not caring about me more once they see me dead" mentality).. it hurts both them and you ultimately, so it benefits no one..

you get along with parents a lot better when you don't live with them.. is there a way you can maybe find a room-mate that would want to try to find a place to rent together?.. although i will say that living with parents does save a LOT of money.. you aren't having to pay rent or bills (usually) while living with parents..

I carefully hid my condition from anyone who shouldn't know, so they could only suspect it. Since I've been an adult for a long time, I can visit doctors without my parents' permission. I certainly won't commit CTB as revenge; rather, I'd simply like these people to understand that their devaluation only caused harm. I'll commit CTB when I'm sick enough to live. I'm not sure exactly when that moment will be, but my plan has long been prepared

no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed with all of these negative things happening at the same time, i would be too. try to be extra kind to yourself right now. is there something small you can do to bring yourself comfort?

i'm so sorry that your family ridiculed and dismissed you :( it's very upsetting when the people we are supposed to trust harm us instead.

i'm also sorry to hear that about your psychiatrist. could you ask your current psychiatrist to help you find a new psychiatrist? back when i had a therapist and she had to leave, she sent me to a new therapist who she already knew and trusted, can your psychiatrist do something like this? or can you see your psychiatrist through telehealth until you find a new one?

My psychiatrist gave me a list of recommended doctors, so I'll try to follow that. However, I don't have access to a private psychiatrist right now, so I'll have to see a psychiatrist at a public clinic for a while. This worries me, but there's no other option right now