Venting i'm tired and I just want to talk about what happened to me last week.

[pieceoffox]

I don't know why I'm writing this post. Maybe it's just pointless whining, maybe my problems don't have any weight at all and aren't considered problems, but I'm really tired of everything and I just need somewhere to vent.

I recently told my family about my mental health issues. I half expected the reaction I got, but I kept hoping for the best. Ultimately, I was ridiculed and my problems were dismissed. I'd love to see their faces when they see my lifeless body after I decide to have CTB. This situation really took a toll on me, but I tried to hold on.

At the same time, I was dealing with very stressful bureaucratic matters, which also added to my stress, and I was on edge, like a room filled with gas, blown up by the slightest spark.

And today my psychiatrist wrote to me that she is moving to another city. I am very lucky to have her. She is an excellent specialist and person. I will have to look for another psychiatrist again among a bunch of private ones, and I can't imagine how I will find another psychiatrist. I just want to quit. This has been the final thing that has happened in the last few days. It's like the whole world is conspiring against me.

I just went into a slight remission from self-harm. I'm just starting to feel a little better. I'm close to cutting again, and I'm worse than before.
What's the point of trying if life only brings more problems and gets worse?

 

[FF777]

did your family not know you are seeing a psychiatrist already?.. how would they not know about mental health issues already?..

i wouldn't recommend letting any sort of pouting/revenge play a very big factor in whether you decide to CTB or not though (talking about the "they will regret not caring about me more once they see me dead" mentality).. it hurts both them and you ultimately, so it benefits no one..

you get along with parents a lot better when you don't live with them.. is there a way you can maybe find a room-mate that would want to try to find a place to rent together?.. although i will say that living with parents does save a LOT of money.. you aren't having to pay rent or bills (usually) while living with parents..