Venting im so desperate to ctb

[vulkann]

all i can think about is ctb. During the day all i can think about is my suffering. During the night i struggle to fall asleep while battling my thoughts. I wake up covered in sweat everyday from constant nightmares. But in the end im terrified of pain and being left a vegetable which leaves me with few options that arent accessible. I dont even have the motivation to eat or get out of bed (currently < 16 bmi). I just want to be free from this torture.

 

[leavingsoon99]

I'm sorry for your pain. May you find peace and some kind of motivation. I understand the fear of failing. I wish you luck and clarity, whatever path you choose.

 

[TheHuman]

Well all I can say is read the megathreads on how to ctb and I hope that one of methods will work for you, and if you do find a way good luck.

 

[piercedheart]

I am terribly sorry to hear that, it sounds miserable. I hope you will find respite from it though, either in ctb or hopefully improving your life, but alas, we're here because the latter rarely ever works out. I do wish you the best though.

 

[Solitudeseeker]

all i can think about is ctb. During the day all i can think about is my suffering. During the night i struggle to fall asleep while battling my thoughts. I wake up covered in sweat everyday from constant nightmares. But in the end im terrified of pain and being left a vegetable which leaves me with few options that arent accessible. I dont even have the motivation to eat or get out of bed (currently < 16 bmi). I just want to be free from this torture.

i hope you find the peace you look for in the future,hon. nobody deserves a pain such as this and i would never wish it upon my worst enemies,i feel this exact way and the physical pain of feeling trapped on this ill intentioned planet doesn't help a single thing,but if you can feed your soul with the food you really love <3

 

[Hikoo]

I'm struggling with that too. I know that i can overcome all these thoughts with determination and sheer will. But at my age and situation, i doubt if its worth keep fighting for.

 

[jonward55]

I'm at the stage where I think I can actually pull a plastic bag over my head and fight it out. I have no money, no access to anything else and I need to get out of this never ending mind Torture.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's so horrible how we exist in a world where we are denied options of ways to reliably die, I hate how suicide is this difficult and comes with risks, it's such a cruel punishment how we were forced into a world that we cannot easily escape from. But anyway I hope that you eventually find freedom from your torture.

 

[sunfl0wer]

I understand your frustrations. I hope you find peace.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry that you have to go through all this. It's so horrible, life is causeing so much suffering. If there was only a good and easy way to exit all this but we are trapped here. I wish you all the best.