I'm scared

[1993]

I have a lethal cocktail in my fridge rn (not mentioning ingredients, sorry). Tasted a sip a few days ago and for two days straight my heart did weird stuff. I really want to take it, but I'm so fucking scared. The effects hurt and made me stress out. I am ready to go rn, but the thing is that my initial method (partial) obviously has failed many times.

I'm 100% comfortable with doing those steps, but apparently not with just drinking a glass full. I hate it. The failed attempts make me more and more desperate for other methods and that means I won't go the way I want. I'll go scared and desperate, not well thought through. I hate this. I hate this. I want it to stop. Sorry, just had to write it down

 

[Alexandra_]

I understand you very well. The instinct of self-preservation is a very powerful thing. We are all afraid to decide on the last step. For myself, I see no other way out. You do not deserve the suffering that has befallen you. I just want to wish that your dream comes true. I hope you find what you are looking for

 

[1993]

I understand you very well. The instinct of self-preservation is a very powerful thing. We are all afraid to decide on the last step. For myself, I see no other way out. You do not deserve the suffering that has befallen you. I just want to wish that your dream comes true. I hope you find what you are looking for

Thank you, it means a lot. For some of us there is no other way indeed. It's like being in physical pain