Venting It's all pointless

[That one weird girl]

I hate existing. I hate having a job. I genuinely thought everything we're gonna get better once I got a job but it hasn't. I'm sad all the time. All I can think about would be the sweet release of death but I'm still to scared to go through with it. Maybe its some part of me holding on cuz I do care about my boyfriend and my cats but everything is just so unbearable. I cant get through the day without the comfort of knowing there's weed when I come home but I just ran out and I don't have money for more so now I have to live with my thoughts sober. I want to harm myself so I don't have to go to work tomorrow. I'm basically already at the brink of getting fired cuz I'm so absent. I just can't do it anymore. I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate existing. I can't do it

 

[chillino]

Quit smoking weed and the self harm. It is your decision

 

[Misery99]

Yeah everything is meaningless in the end. This world had become such an awful and intolerable place since a few years ago. I know it's always been bad in this world but nowadays it's getting way worse because of all the global conflicts, hate and racism issues.

 

[somethingclever]

going through the same thing minus an SO. everyone is different, but im a 6y daily smoker who's "quit" (not strict or anything) for the past 3 or 4 days now. i feel im benefiting from the REM / improved sleep. still probably gonna ctb but i might as well stop smoking if it won't matter in a few weeks anyways