I just... I'm scared I'll never recover. That I'll always be the way I am and be a huge burden on everyone. I can't drive and I work fast food, I live with family and waste all my money on toys and video games. I'm desperately trying to live the childhood I was cheated from. I have a personality disorder and CPTSD, I'm like a bomb and I hate it. I fucking hate myself.. I failed to CTB 4 times. Honestly think I'm better off dead. I'm trying to keep my head above water but my body is growing weak from the crashing waves. Being dead would be so much easier I feel, it sucks because there's stuff I enjoy about living but the pain is becoming unbearable
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discernment
Student
- Aug 11, 2026
- 105
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