Im going to hang myself on may 19th

[human123]

Im 18 years old and I have struggled with suicidal thoughts since i was 11. Ive also attempted 3 times in the past, twice when I was 11 and once when I was 12. I was in and out of mental hospitals back in middle school, and once I got out for the 3rd time, I was determined to get better out of fear of going back to that hell hole. I went to lots of therapy and tried to will away my thoughts. For a bit, I seemed to be doing well and was able to push them to the back of my head, but that didn't last. I really tried my best but I cant take it anymore.

I know id be throwing my future away and would miss college. I know im smart and have the potential for a bright future. But I dont care because I also know that ill continue to experience this insurmountable suffering that I tried so long to find off. Im going to do it. Thats final.

On the 18th, 19th, and 20th of May I will be home alone all day. On the 18th I will prepare myself and on the 19th ill carry my plan of full suspension hanging out. I have a rope already and have been working on writing a suicide note. Soon after my mom leaves for work, I will go down stairs in the basementand hang myself on an old pull up bar. no one should find me for about 7 hours. That should be enoughtime to be fully dead. I will also tie my hands behind my back so I cant undo the noose. I might also put a bag over my head just in case the rope breaks. I am pretty confident that this is going to work. Then I will finally be at peace.

The only negative is that this would hurt my mom. She spent a lot of money on me with a trip she planned for me. All of that money would be wasted once I die. My mom would likely also blame herself, but I hope my not can prevent that. I dont want to hurt anyone.

If you want to hear my story, then i wrote about it here.

My story

The beginning The early years not much happened so ill skip them. girst, my parents got divorced when I was in 2nd grade. I remember my father was putting me to bed and told me that he would be away for a while. I asked if he was going to come back, and he said he didn't know and then just left...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Im not sure why im posting this now, I was going post as I get closer to the date, but here we are. In a wierd way, im kinda excited, even though I shouldn't be. I will likely post in more detail when its close to the date, but for now, is do you have any recommendations or worries of it failing. I need this to succeed.

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

I'm sorry to hear about your problems and failed suicide attempts. Yes, tying hands behind the back ensures successful hanging by preventing a natural urge to undo the rope knot, although it must be extremely difficult to undo the knot with the weight of the body pulling on it. I assume you will stand on an object like a chair or stool and step off it to become suspended in the air. You may therefore choose to kick it away in order to overcome an urge to step back on it, making the process inevitable, as you clearly want it to be. You'll be gone in minutes through asphyxation, so won't need to die by hanging for hours. So no chance of early discovery. The rope is unlikely to break if it's really thick and therefore strong. And it needs to be firmly secured to both the bar and around your neck, of course.

 

[human123]

I'm sorry to hear about your problems and failed suicide attempts. Yes, tying hands behind the back ensures successful hanging by preventing a natural urge to undo the rope knot, although it must be extremely difficult to undo the knot with the weight of the body pulling on it. I assume you will stand on an object like a chair or stool and step off it to become suspended in the air. You may therefore choose to kick it away in order to overcome an urge to step back on it, making the process inevitable, as you clearly want it to be. You'll be gone in minutes through asphyxation, so won't need to die by hanging for hours. So no chance of early discovery. The rope is unlikely to break if it's really thick and therefore strong. And it needs to be firmly secured to both the bar and around your neck, of course.

Thank you very much. I will use a hangman knot for the noose. would that work? also, which knot would be best to secure the rope to the pull up bar? and yes I plan on stepping off of a very light plastic chair and kicking it down.

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

I assume a hangman's knot, for which instructions on how to tie it are available in Internet, has been intended primarily for executions in which someone is dropped from a height by opening the elevated floor on which they stand, resulting in instant death by the neck bone being broken by the high sudden force applied. It should certainly be suitable for the gentler method of just stepping into the air from a kicked-away chair. It is a similar process then to that used in Iran for public executions, in which convicted persons are hung up in the air suspended on a crane, dying in 15 minutes or so and left on display for a while after the death throes have stopped. I have no particular suggestion for the pull-up bar knot, other than pulling on it hard in a rest before the planned hanging event.
Incidentally, if two people decide to commit suicide as closely attached partners by hanging themselves at the same time, they can hold or even better tie hands together before stepping into the air, so it's difficult or impossible to loosen the knots around their necks. As an alternative then to tying hands behind the back.

 

[human123]

I assume a hangman's knot, for which instructions on how to tie it are available in Internet, has been intended primarily for executions in which someone is dropped from a height by opening the elevated floor on which they stand, resulting in instant death by the neck bone being broken by the high sudden force applied. It should certainly be suitable for the gentler method of just stepping into the air from a kicked-away chair. It is a similar process then to that used in Iran for public executions, in which convicted persons are hung up in the air suspended on a crane, dying in 15 minutes or so and left on display for a while after the death throes have stopped. I have no particular suggestion for the pull-up bar knot, other than pulling on it hard in a rest before the planned hanging event.
Incidentally, if two people decide to commit suicide as closely attached partners by hanging themselves at the same time, they can hold or even better tie hands together before stepping into the air, so it's difficult or impossible to loosen the knots around their necks. As an alternative then to tying hands behind the back.

Ok, so it should work? im not going to be able to have a partner and that would make me feel guilty, like id be causing someone else's death

 

[sickofeverything]

I assume a hangman's knot, for which instructions on how to tie it are available in Internet, has been intended primarily for executions in which someone is dropped from a height by opening the elevated floor on which they stand, resulting in instant death by the neck bone being broken by the high sudden force applied. It should certainly be suitable for the gentler method of just stepping into the air from a kicked-away chair. It is a similar process then to that used in Iran for public executions, in which convicted persons are hung up in the air suspended on a crane, dying in 15 minutes or so and left on display for a while after the death throes have stopped. I have no particular suggestion for the pull-up bar knot, other than pulling on it hard in a rest before the planned hanging event.
Incidentally, if two people decide to commit suicide as closely attached partners by hanging themselves at the same time, they can hold or even better tie hands together before stepping into the air, so it's difficult or impossible to loosen the knots around their necks. As an alternative then to tying hands behind the back.

I saw a beautiful video of a pair doing it together, they were out quickly and it seemed like a very peaceful way to go, one held the other stopping the fight it seemed

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace from suffering.

 

[human123]

I saw a beautiful video of a pair doing it together, they were out quickly and it seemed like a very peaceful way to go, one held the other stopping the fight it seemed

Ah, it does sound kinda nice to not be alone in the final moments, but alas, ill be alone

I hope you find peace from suffering.

I hope so too. I should if I die because then i wouldn't experience anything anymore.

 

[sickofeverything]

Ah, it does sound kinda nice to not be alone in the final moments, but alas, ill be alone

I hope so too. I should if I die because then i wouldn't experience anything anymore.

I will be alone as well, my cats can't really be there with me, it would be a lot less scary not alone that's for sure but I know it's not going to happen so. I hope I will be at peace as well to not experience anything

 

[human123]

I will be alone as well, my cats can't really be there with me, it would be a lot less scary not alone that's for sure but I know it's not going to happen so. I hope I will be at peace as well to not experience anything

Yeah same

 

[2106lvsk]

im gonna kill myself around the 15th of may too. cya on the other side

 

[human123]

im gonna kill myself around the 15th of may too. cya on the other side

I might have to wait till August. I hope you find happiness before then, or at least find peace

 

[2106lvsk]

I might have to wait till August. I hope you find happiness before then, or at least find peace

im doing it may 8th. good luck on august.

 

[FrustratedMTFtrans]

im doing it may 8th. good luck on august.

You were planning CTB on May 8, indicating you were intending to take 50 Panadol (paracetamol) pills. You are probably still here, one day later, as it takes a day or more for the liver to fail, at worst weeks. If still here, how has it been?

 

[darksouls]

good luck, I hope you find peace

 

[eddie202603]

Have you tried partial suspension? Done right, you can avoid crushing the windpipe, and it hurts way less.
I'm quite thin, 176cm/51kg. I tried sitting with my buttocks touching the floor and was still able to compress my carotid artery, because after just 3 seconds my vision went black. During the process, I felt no pain and could breathe normally. I'm very confident that I can lose consciousness within 10 seconds. I hope everyone can eventually leave with minimal suffering.

 

[coolcow1289]

Im 18 years old and I have struggled with suicidal thoughts since i was 11. Ive also attempted 3 times in the past, twice when I was 11 and once when I was 12. I was in and out of mental hospitals back in middle school, and once I got out for the 3rd time, I was determined to get better out of fear of going back to that hell hole. I went to lots of therapy and tried to will away my thoughts. For a bit, I seemed to be doing well and was able to push them to the back of my head, but that didn't last. I really tried my best but I cant take it anymore.

I know id be throwing my future away and would miss college. I know im smart and have the potential for a bright future. But I dont care because I also know that ill continue to experience this insurmountable suffering that I tried so long to find off. Im going to do it. Thats final.

On the 18th, 19th, and 20th of May I will be home alone all day. On the 18th I will prepare myself and on the 19th ill carry my plan of full suspension hanging out. I have a rope already and have been working on writing a suicide note. Soon after my mom leaves for work, I will go down stairs in the basementand hang myself on an old pull up bar. no one should find me for about 7 hours. That should be enoughtime to be fully dead. I will also tie my hands behind my back so I cant undo the noose. I might also put a bag over my head just in case the rope breaks. I am pretty confident that this is going to work. Then I will finally be at peace.

The only negative is that this would hurt my mom. She spent a lot of money on me with a trip she planned for me. All of that money would be wasted once I die. My mom would likely also blame herself, but I hope my not can prevent that. I dont want to hurt anyone.

If you want to hear my story, then i wrote about it here.

My story

The beginning The early years not much happened so ill skip them. girst, my parents got divorced when I was in 2nd grade. I remember my father was putting me to bed and told me that he would be away for a while. I asked if he was going to come back, and he said he didn't know and then just left...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Im not sure why im posting this now, I was going post as I get closer to the date, but here we are. In a wierd way, im kinda excited, even though I shouldn't be. I will likely post in more detail when its close to the date, but for now, is do you have any recommendations or worries of it failing. I need this to succeed.

Your mom isn't going to care about the money. You've had a few days, are you still sure now is the time?

Have you considered doing this in public - like a forest or public park - so your family doesn't have to find your body?

Wishing you the best in whatever you decide.

 

[overthrone]

Im 18 years old and I have struggled with suicidal thoughts since i was 11. Ive also attempted 3 times in the past, twice when I was 11 and once when I was 12. I was in and out of mental hospitals back in middle school, and once I got out for the 3rd time, I was determined to get better out of fear of going back to that hell hole. I went to lots of therapy and tried to will away my thoughts. For a bit, I seemed to be doing well and was able to push them to the back of my head, but that didn't last. I really tried my best but I cant take it anymore.

I know id be throwing my future away and would miss college. I know im smart and have the potential for a bright future. But I dont care because I also know that ill continue to experience this insurmountable suffering that I tried so long to find off. Im going to do it. Thats final.

On the 18th, 19th, and 20th of May I will be home alone all day. On the 18th I will prepare myself and on the 19th ill carry my plan of full suspension hanging out. I have a rope already and have been working on writing a suicide note. Soon after my mom leaves for work, I will go down stairs in the basementand hang myself on an old pull up bar. no one should find me for about 7 hours. That should be enoughtime to be fully dead. I will also tie my hands behind my back so I cant undo the noose. I might also put a bag over my head just in case the rope breaks. I am pretty confident that this is going to work. Then I will finally be at peace.

The only negative is that this would hurt my mom. She spent a lot of money on me with a trip she planned for me. All of that money would be wasted once I die. My mom would likely also blame herself, but I hope my not can prevent that. I dont want to hurt anyone.

If you want to hear my story, then i wrote about it here.

My story

The beginning The early years not much happened so ill skip them. girst, my parents got divorced when I was in 2nd grade. I remember my father was putting me to bed and told me that he would be away for a while. I asked if he was going to come back, and he said he didn't know and then just left...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Im not sure why im posting this now, I was going post as I get closer to the date, but here we are. In a wierd way, im kinda excited, even though I shouldn't be. I will likely post in more detail when its close to the date, but for now, is do you have any recommendations or worries of it failing. I need this to succeed.

Can anyone confirm/deny this user is still here?

 

[wine is fine but]

The only negative is that this would hurt my mom

it will totally devastate your mum. her life will be irreparably destroyed

She spent a lot of money on me with a trip she planned for me

she will not care about the money - just that she has lost her baby

My mom would likely also blame herself, but I hope my not can prevent that

she will blame herself - your note will probably not help, because human nature means she will find a way to blame herself

i dont want to hurt anyone

it will hurt many people - sadly, there is no way around it

i was once your age, and had the same thoughts. tried 6 times by the time i was 20. please trust me. life is much better by around the age of 30, if for no other reason than you find a way to know which things to care about, and which ones not to. what you want at 18 is totally different to what you will want at 30. just like what you want at 18 is different to what you wanted at 15, and then at 10, and 8 and so on and so on - at present you are in what is the most difficult time of your life - from 18 to around 22. you are not a child, but you are not an adult either. if you cannot absolutely, positively stay in this world, that is your decision to make, but sticking around may be the best decision you ever made. at the very least it will save your mum possibly 30-40 years of devastation. i still have a death wish, and think about it every single day, but thoughts of both a desire to die, and a willingness to live peacefully co-exist in your brain at the same time

 

[human123]

good luck, I hope you find peace

Unfortunately, im going to have to wait till August 31. but im confident that i will succeed then

Can anyone confirm/deny this user is still here?

Im still here

Have you tried partial suspension? Done right, you can avoid crushing the windpipe, and it hurts way less.
I'm quite thin, 176cm/51kg. I tried sitting with my buttocks touching the floor and was still able to compress my carotid artery, because after just 3 seconds my vision went black. During the process, I felt no pain and could breathe normally. I'm very confident that I can lose consciousness within 10 seconds. I hope everyone can eventually leave with minimal suffering.

I am worried about partial not working...

Can anyone confirm/deny this user is still here?

Things changed and i will die in August 31. that was actually originally the plan, i just thought that i would be able to sooner. but it would work much better if i wait. although people have found out that im suicidal and my mom found my suicide note ive been working on. im scared of going to the mental hospital