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Hard to explain it's a long story but i do it cuz i already hate myself and my life is about to become horrible, my dad is about to kick me out the house, my mom keeps saying she wishes she never gave birth to me. I still love them but im a disappoitment and i've got everything prepared what i mean by can't go back is i can't chicken out im sorry if my english is a lil rusty
Nah honestly i've always wanted to ctb i remember when i learned it was possible to cause ur own death i had planned on drinking whatever weird stuff i would find in the garage i think i was 6, i never enjoyed life i was always bullied at school, i always fail everythingi try to do im a massive disappoitment to me and my family i would rather die than fight. Figt for what anyways like i said i never enjoyed living and always hated God for creating me, that was until i stopped believing he exists. But thanks for caring not many people do.
noted thx.
thanks, im planning on doing at around 3am, it's currentely 5pm where i live
wow so u created an account just to talk to me ? Thanks alot it means more to me than u think and i would love to talk wih u. Like i said "can't go back" isn't the best way of saying it it's more like i can't chicken out im always so confident about ctb but when it's time to do it i just start thinking about every good thing in life and go to sleep then wake up the next day and remember why i wanted to ctb in the first place. I wanna do it cuz i feel like my life is over ill never be able to become the man i always tried to be because of the way god made me, and ill never be able to do a job i like either. But it's also cuz i've never wanted to live i remember learning about suicide for the first time i was so happy i thought i could finally die and had planned on ending it the same night but i chickened out, i was always bullied never had any friends, im a disappointment to myself and my parents and the list goes on... Many traumas i struggle to cope with and therapy doesn't do shit i've seen 3 different therapists they're all useless. What about u why are u considering ctb.
Thank you for sharing your story. Yes, when I saw your thread I wanted to create an acc as I realised that it could be your last day it would be nice to talk with you and what kind of person would I be if I didnt. I want to say that it isnt bad to chicken out. I tried to ctb 2 times and failed, but now Im grateful to have a second chance in this life. Just like you I never had a girlfriend but In my opinion thats just another reason to keep going and maybe one day I will have one. I understand what you mean when you say that therapy is useless, but from my experience time is the best therapy.
Thanks that's very kind of you, im glad to hear that ur life is better now and that u don't want to ctb, deep down i hope i don't die and just faint and my family finds my body or something maybe they will somehow help me im basically just hoping for some kind of miracle that won't happen lol. But if u don't mind me asking how did u try to ctb ?
I tried hanging and the other time took a ton of meds. Anyways are you 100% sure about doing it? I kinda feel bad for you
im not but i know that now's the time cuz soon my parents will kick me out the house i could maybe wait another week but that's it. I just hope it won't be too painful and ill pass out quick. Again thanks a lot for talking with me, i have about 5 hours before i do it, im stressing a bit i think imma get high maybe it will help.
I don´t want to make you more nervous than you already are but if you aren´t sure is because one part of you wants to keep going. Maybe you could wait another week, you don´t really lose anything waiting
it's not really that i want to keep going it's more that i don't want to leave the good things i have, but my life is just miserable in general and my opinion won't change in one week, i've been wanting this since i knew it was even possible lol. But i really appreciate u caring about me and im sorry for being so negative i can see that ur trying ur best to help me.
I totally understand you It´s okay. I just wanted to try as now I am grateful to have failed and still here. Sometimes everything you need is a second chance. Anyways I respect your decission
Hi, it's ok i don't want to make it seem like my life was so horrible many people suffer way more than me, sure i was bullied, raped... but at least i had a loving and caring family. Btw ur question isn't rude at all in fact i thought about this and i hate to say it cuz then it sounds like im too difficult but there's really nothing i CAN do that interests me and i hate the thought of doing a job i dislike just to pay rent andbuy myself food and water so basically just surviving. I have nowhere to go and even if i did i would have no way to go, can't drive and broke af although im 18. I know im really negatve and im sorry cuz ur trying to help but i think ctb is my only option i don't want to become a problem for my family they're already disapointed enough.
Thanksss who knows maybe ill fail and find a purpose in life too, deep down i hope it happens but doubt it will. Thanks for talking with me and trying to help i wish u the best in ur life.
still what you experienced is still bad and instead of stopping you ill be here to talk to you! even though we met here friends starts off as strangers!
I wish you the best in your life, hopely it doesnt end today but if it does I wish you the peace. Remember that you arent a coward if you don´t do it, you have the right to live your life.
Thanks for talkin to me
. I do play quite a lot of video games mostly indie games, my top 3 would be RDR2, SWTOR and Dispatch.My only hobby nowadays is playing video games and watching shows/cartoons, i used to play football a lot but i don't play anymore ikinda got tired of it and i don't have the will to do sports anymore in general. My favorite shows are Inazuma Eleven, Star wars, Total Drama adn Dragon Ball. I also listen to music a lot my fav artists are Juice WRLD Lil Uzi Vert and Lil Tecca wbu ?You got a good taste I like RDR2 Dragon ball and Star Wars too also some songs of those singers. May I ask how old are you or where are you from?Thanks for talkin to me
im 18 and im French-Moroccan, Grew up in Casablanca. What about u ?
Im
when did u know u wanted to ctb, me like i said like 1000 times already it was when i was around 6
less stressed now thanks, getting high did help a bit. I wish i had more time but like i said my parents are about to kick me out the house and i feel like i have just always been trying to delay this moment and now's the right time. Thanks for caring i hope u the best.You shouldn't do it if you're not completely confident and ready. But I am hoping everything is well friend, how are you feeling?
I don't know, at like 16 probably
