If you were allowed medically assisted suicide, would you do it??

[urgent]

Two of the main reasons I haven't is not happy with method as N would have been first choice or OD, and being terrified I could make things worse. So if that was an option, in a heartbeat because it solves almost everything. I probably would be approved with my health issues at the current clinics, but I don't want the hassle of traveling and dying in a strange place. I had my spot already picked out but it is no longer an option so home it will be.

This is my situation too but I'm in such poor condition I'm basically bedridden and can't end this horrific pain. It's torture every second. I wish I could find N or a brave compassionate soul so I could stop suffering. I'd be happy with a doctor, veterinarian, activists, guide, any access.I just can't take what years of chronic pain and disease have done. I'm suffering physically, emotionally and mentally. It's horrific to exist with no quality of life losing dignity in excruciating unbearable nonstop pain. I hope no one else is suffering this way. DM if you like. It hurts to type but I can't do anything else and the pain is severe anyway so is insomnia but I can't even see as it gets dark. My wrists hurt and fingers. Feel like I've been burned all over, pain everywhere, nutrition a painful struggle, my earlobes even hurt, mouth with burning mouth and tongue syndrome, Lupus mouth sores, nerve pain from scalp to burning feet, stomach pain intense, osteoarthritis and osteoporosis bone spurs, tumors herniated discs cervical and lumbar, pernicious anemia, sciatica, migraine clusters, pressure points pain, degenerative disc disease,ulcers,gastritis,carpal tunnel, arthritis, gastroparesis, insomnia, TMJ, Hashimato disease, CFS, burning itching eyes from allergies, circulation bad, tooth pain, fell and chipped 3, can't regulate body temperature, usually freezing, Feel like can't breathe, vision problems, kidney problems chronic infections and UTIs, mo appetite, nausea, dry eyes, mucus membrane, mouth,skin from battling dehydration from gastroparesis. Not responsive to most meds anymore. It's so unbelievable a body still struggles to function at this point. It's like the old cartoons I'm still alive after being run over and having things fall and crush me. I wonder if someone in my condition started that by describing how it feels to live like this.

We have to become advocates to improve upon this diagnosis. On Reddit, there was some recent research hinting at this (that's where I got it from)

Can you DM me about that? Ty

 

[Live_Life55]

yes. i'm still suffering from BIND after having a detox from ativan 6 years ago. i was prescribed it for 10 years. i only get 3 hours of sleep a night.

Is this the reason you want to CTB? Im in a similar boat. I already had a severly disregulated nervous system from narcissist abuse. Cptsd hyper arousal and insomnia. I was given Ativan to take as needed. Took 25mg in 3.5 months and now my nervous system is completely fried. I'm desperately trying to find a way off this earth because every second is pure torment and torture. I developed BIND alongside severe akathisia. My body feels like it's on fire and I feel completely void of happiness.

 

[ZetaS579]

I would 100%. I wish it were an option tbh

 

[waaaheaven]

no hesitation

 

[Live_Life55]

Tears of joy if I could.

I wish CTB was a easy as pressing a button. Sarco pod comes to mind. Can you imagine how many people would sign up?

 

[jackrussell]

Is this the reason you want to CTB? Im in a similar boat. I already had a severly disregulated nervous system from narcissist abuse. Cptsd hyper arousal and insomnia. I was given Ativan to take as needed. Took 25mg in 3.5 months and now my nervous system is completely fried. I'm desperately trying to find a way off this earth because every second is pure torment and torture. I developed BIND alongside severe akathisia. My body feels like it's on fire and I feel completely void of happiness.

yes. i know what you're going through. it was hell on earth for me too. i;m going to use nitrous oxide with a plastic bag. i found a lot of good info on this forum about n2o or nitrous oxide. it seems like a peaceful and easy way to go.

 

[ReadyToLeave]

Yes absolutely!

 

[AgathaChristieLover]

No question about it

 

[caotic_realm]

It would be a sacred act for me to be able to leave this world at peace. I think that beforehand, I would prepare a few things and try to view life differently, knowing that "the race" was finally over and I could rest.

Sometimes the feeling of fading into "nothingness" is frightening, but deep down, it is inevitable—and what better way for it to happen than ceremoniously? That way, I avoid the fear of life becoming increasingly unbearable and my sanity brushing against the hell of madness.

 

[Bitter Almonds]

Yes. I'm looking into pegasos right now.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

Not really i want to be alone when i do it not have anyone next to me unless they are doing it too
If its the only way i can do it i guess so but i dont like someone just watching me die

 

[Live_Life55]

yes. i know what you're going through. it was hell on earth for me too. i;m going to use nitrous oxide with a plastic bag. i found a lot of good info on this forum about n2o or nitrous oxide. it seems like a peaceful and easy way to go.

Did it get better with time for you? Or do you still suffer just as bad

Yes. I'm looking into pegasos right now.

It's apparently very difficult to get approved and you have to let family know. So many hoops to go through and they can eventually tell you no after 6 months. They're also known to take your money and not respond back.

 

[kettlespine]

I'm not paying money or letting the government do what I can just do myself. I have guns for that.

 

[urgent]

I'm not paying money or letting the government do what I can just do myself. I have guns for that.

I wish I had a gun.

 

[EmployedHikikomori]

I'm in my 30s, so I'm not sure where I land on that. but I would take the medical assistants.

 

[Live_Life55]

I'm in my 30s, so I'm not sure where I land on that. but I would take the medical assistants.

I'm in 30s and they said im too young. Need family approval like that would ever happen

 

[that_miqo'te]

Probably, even though I opposed the UK's recent bill lol (lack of safeguards and I know they'll use it to abolish disability payments rather than actually helping people)

 

[1000_Years_Old]

I ask this question because so many young people on here say they want to die but are afraid of pain, failing and fear. Assisted suicide would eliminate pain and failing. But what about SI? Could you drink the fatal medication (in Canada i think its done thru IV but you have to pull the lever) knowing you will be dead soon after? No going back. Game over. I've watched many videos on YouTube that have done it. Albeit most were terminal ill, elderly or in chronic pain. Which makes the mental part easier to accept. All were at peace with their decision.

If I could get Nembutal from Mexico, I would do it. I'm also considering fentanyl. Seems like a peaceful way to go. Wish I knew where to get some. I'm afraid to go to a street drug dealer.

 

[Lucifer’s Son]

Absolutely. If it were available in the US, I'd do all I can to access it.

 

[0dysseus]

I'm allowed, but it's tons of bearucracy and good luck paying that hefty bill in Swiss Francs.

 

[Surek]

I guess I would still have a hard time deciding on it, even if it were peaceful and I didn't have to do it myself. But it would certainly be better than poisoning myself while trying to ease the suffering with legal or illegal substances

 

[jackrussell]

Did it get better with time for you? Or do you still suffer just as bad

It's apparently very difficult to get approved and you have to let family know. So many hoops to go through and they can eventually tell you no after 6 months. They're also known to take your money and not respond back.

i felt a little better after a month. i was in the psych ward for 90 days because i refused to take abilify.. they tried to get me to do ect and i refused it. i thought i was going to go crazy. h

 

[plskilme]

Absolutely

 

[HFK40000]

I would absolutely do it. I feel like it would give validation to my suffering.

 

[Live_Life55]

i felt a little better after a month. i was in the psych ward for 90 days because i refused to take abilify.. they tried to get me to do ect and i refused it. i thought i was going to go crazy. h

You mean you felt a better a month after stopping Ativan? Or do you feel better after every month?

I'm desperately trying to find hope here but every second of everyday is torture. I don't know what to do.

Good choice on refusing Abilify it would have made you a thousand times worse. When were you put into a psych ward and why?

 

[jackrussell]

You mean you felt a better a month after stopping Ativan? Or do you feel better after every month?

I'm desperately trying to find hope here but every second of everyday is torture. I don't know what to do.

Good choice on refusing Abilify it would have made you a thousand times worse. When were you put into a psych ward and why?

i got some relief after a month of stopping ativan and haven't felt better since. i went a 5 day detox 7 years ago to get off ativan bcause my doctor would no longer prescribe it. i tried to kill myself with helium a week before the detox and failed. after the 5 day detox, i could barely walk and i refused to go to the hospital so the doctor called the police and they handcuffed me and took me to the hospital where locked my a room. the next day they took me to the mental hosptial where i was for 90 days.

 

[Live_Life55]

i got some relief after a month of stopping ativan and haven't felt better since. i went a 5 day detox 7 years ago to get off ativan bcause my doctor would no longer prescribe it. i tried to kill myself with helium a week before the detox and failed. after the 5 day detox, i could barely walk and i refused to go to the hospital so the doctor called the police and they handcuffed me and took me to the hospital where locked my a room. the next day they took me to the mental hosptial where i was for 90 days.

Wow that sucks to hear. These doctors are pure evil. How much ativan a day were you taking?

A ward for 90 days sounds like unimaginable torture... They probably tried to load you with other poisonous meds too.

 

[jackrussell]

Wow that sucks to hear. These doctors are pure evil. How much ativan a day were you taking?

A ward for 90 days sounds like unimaginable torture... They probably tried to load you with other poisonous meds too.

i was taking 5mg per day. it was hell on earth. at night they would open the door every 15 fifteen min. to check on me. i didn't sleep for days. after a month, they finally gave me some crutches to help me walk. i tried choking myself with food such as hotdogs but i failed. they took my belt and shoelaces but they let me wear my sun glasses because i was sensitive to light. they tried to give me electro shock which is ect and i refused it. they put me on gabapentin which i got off of when i got out. it didn't help me and nothing did. i lost my apartment when i got out because i couldn't pay the rent while i was locked up. i've been lying on my mom's sofa for the last 7 years most of my time. i tried a lot of supplements but they never helped. did the doctor prescribe you on 25mg of ativan?

 

[Live_Life55]

i was taking 5mg per day. it was hell on earth. at night they would open the door every 15 fifteen min. to check on me. i didn't sleep for days. after a month, they finally gave me some crutches to help me walk. i tried choking myself with food such as hotdogs but i failed. they took my belt and shoelaces but they let me wear my sun glasses because i was sensitive to light. they tried to give me electro shock which is ect and i refused it. they put me on gabapentin which i got off of when i got out. it didn't help me and nothing did. i lost my apartment when i got out because i couldn't pay the rent while i was locked up. i've been lying on my mom's sofa for the last 7 years most of my time. i tried a lot of supplements but they never helped. did the doctor prescribe you on 25mg of ativan?

Brutal story. I'm also couch ridden and unable to function. Can't believe you've seen no improvements in 7 years. Do you at least get bigger windows where things feel slightly better in the moment?

Yes the doctor prescribed me Ativan 1mg each I only took maximum 25mg in just 3.5 months. I already had a severly disregulated nervous system from trauma and was unable to sleep. So the Ativan fried my brain. I'm going through acute withdrawal right now severe akathisia.

 

[jackrussell]

Brutal story. I'm also couch ridden and unable to function. Can't believe you've seen no improvements in 7 years. Do you at least get bigger windows where things feel slightly better in the moment?

Yes the doctor prescribed me Ativan 1mg each I only took maximum 25mg in just 3.5 months. I already had a severly disregulated nervous system from trauma and was unable to sleep. So the Ativan fried my brain. I'm going through acute withdrawal right now severe akathisia.

i thought i would recovered after 3 years. i'm permantly damaged.i feel like im dying. i'm sweating at this moment and i'm in air conditioning. i didn't get bigger windows and i hated the ceiling light which was so bright. i didn't have severe akathsia. i don;t know what you can take for that. i hope it gets better for you.