Venting "If you have letters to write, you have reason to stay"?

[sadee]

I'm planning to ctb soon and I've been listing the people that I'll write to as well as something to leave them with (a gift) and after I'm done, I realized that it's pretty plenty.. but for me, it's really not a "reason" to stay. I think the brain chemicals really did some damage to me because these people would have given me the reason to stay months ago.

To this day, I still can't believe how much depression affects my life, I was struggling my whole life but I had hope and I kept finding reason to stay. Not anymore tho, I'm leaving this world for good.

It does make me feel guilty thinking about the people I'll be leaving behind but I know the world will not stop spinning just because I'm gone so they'll have to move on one way or another, even if it takes a lot of time.

I have this irrational thought tho that once I'll start writing letters for these people, I would think twice about ctb. I hope I won't. This is my first time planning properly and I don't want anyone or anything to stop it.

 

[mold]

Honestly I get this. It's not that I don't care about the things i write about or to though, I just can't handle this suffering and pain anymore.

 

[rainatthebusstop]

I mean sometimes you write letters because it's a loved one and because you have deep insights. Most of the time you write letters because of some business related stuff.
Write the letters. If they change your mind that's good, if not then at least your loved ones won't have to ask why you did it and how you'd like to be buried

 

[mint2]

if you're on the fence about its best to stay alive for your loved ones.