A
A_quietboi
Member
- Aug 16, 2023
- 30
Thanks for checking in and congratulations on your workout routine. Seems like you're well on your way to making this a habit. Then you can start looking at ways to improve other aspects of your life. I'm really happy for you. :)
Thanks so muchCongratulations! This is also a significant milestone, in my eyes. By the time you read this, you'll probably be a month into your streak. That's awesome!
Fortunately things haven't gotten any worse. I think, it takes years to fix my problems at work, but now I removed physical exhaustion from the list of my problems - I hope I can work more hours to avoid mistakes.This is really great to hear, and I hope that you can keep to your goals while enjoying the results. You're doing an amazing job, and it's great that you've found something that helps despite the adversities of life. I'm sorry to hear about the problem at work and how it's making you feel, but I hope that things don't get any worse there.
I might be overdoing a bit. While there's no problem physically so far, I spend 2-3 hours exercising every day. And I'm struggling to do other things. Recently I often fall asleep on the couch.No need to be sorry, and that's not a lame excuse at all– it's great that you've found solace in exercise and impressive that you've managed to keep it up for so long! I do hope that you're listening to your body and not overdoing it, since it sounds like you're really going hard, but it's awesome that you're able to exercise so much and that you're feeling better because of it.
Thanks for the idea, I think it's great - it would be much easier to talk on Discord. And I can engage in conversation more, I guessHello everyone,
Question for the whole group...
We've seemed to put together a small, but resilient group of people not ready to ctb and fighting our way towards recovery and some sense of normalcy. I love these "daily" updates as it allows me to feel like I'm part of a group - and not an outsider. But at the same time, if there aren't any updates, I fallback into a feeling of lonely and isolated.
Would anyone be interested in "talking" in more real-time via Discord?
SaSu has a recovery Discord server "Sanctioned Stairway", and I'm sure they'd let us create a channel for our group. (In the future, it could be used for voice, or even video chats. But one step at a time.)
i think it's a great idea, it'll take me a while to go through all the process of setting the account and joining the server, but i'll do my best when i have the timeHello everyone,
Question for the whole group...
We've seemed to put together a small, but resilient group of people not ready to ctb and fighting our way towards recovery and some sense of normalcy. I love these "daily" updates as it allows me to feel like I'm part of a group - and not an outsider. But at the same time, if there aren't any updates, I fallback into a feeling of lonely and isolated.
Would anyone be interested in "talking" in more real-time via Discord?
I liked the idea of having a chat specifically for this group, whether through a channel in the larger recovery server or some sort of discord group chat (I do not really know how discord works haha) but I am also fine with making use of the existing channels. It might make more sense to wait and see if more of us join the discord group first anyway.@sadwriter & @carac & @LoiteringClouds, I've you've all made it to Discord. Do you think we can make use of the existing channels the way they're currently set up, or do you have a suggestion for changes? I'll need to take to the server admin if we think we'd like some changes. (If you haven't found them, there are a bunch of optional channels that you can choose to join.)
Actually, I do feel this way, too. I was just talking about this today. In the grand scheme of things, I'm not drinking as much as I used to. A few years ago, I could go through a bottle of anything dark in a day. I worked at a bar too, so I had access to a lot of alcohol and would start drinking as early as eight in the morning. Now, I would take weeks to finish a bottle of anything. I don't really drink "hard" liquor anymore and don't tend to binge like I used to. The problem is different but it's still a problem; I drink just about every day, I don't feel like I could go a single day without having a drink.i don't know if you feel the same way but i don't have such a hard time staying sober when i'm feeling better about life
it's kind of weird actually, when i'm doing ok i even forget to drink, days go by and i suddenly realize i didn't even notice
On a different note, I caught a stray kitten who came to our house with others.
Welcome to the world, new kittens! I'm happy that both of these lucky kitties crossed paths with such caring individuals, and I'm sure that they are/will be relieved to be in good hands, as well.We ended up finding a stray kitten, and we found that she didn't belong to anybody, so we're keeping her. She's only 11-12 weeks old, and she's just a bundle of joy and energy.
Thank you for checking in with us, and for being honest about how you're feeling. I hope that you're still with us in this fight to recovery, as hard as it is. It's okay to fall behind or run in circles sometimes; life is a marathon, and our only objective is to reach the end. How we get there is all of the fun and all of the pain.I've personally been struggling a lot recently, and have been on the edge of giving up on recovery. Still going to try to fight this fight, but I'm tired. I've relapsed on my SH, and have been cutting nearly every day (except for the time I spent in the psych ward) for the past few weeks.
I hope that you will survive until that long, and I'm glad that you're giving the meds a chance. I think we all struggle with how we view ourselves here. I can relate to feeling like I just cause suffering for others and therefore need to be gone. But the truth is a little muddy. All of us take up space on this earth, and inevitably we will all cause some sort of suffering for others. That's the truth. But it's also the truth that we're here anyway, and taking up space isn't an inherently bad thing. We will cause suffering, but we will also be sources of relief, of healing, and of happiness.I honestly feel that I need to die, now less for my current suffering and more because of the nature of my life. I feel that it's unsustainable and causes suffering for others. So far, I'm hoping to at least survive until the new year to see how the meds work for me.
By now, you must be on or almost on your 50th day at the gym! Congratulations! But I hope that you won't overwork yourself at work, too. You should only work more hours if you feel like you can. A lack of rest can be really detrimental, as I'm seeing.I hope I can work more hours to avoid mistakes.
I think this should also be some words that we agree to go by. May we all be stronger than our gloom!It's not time to meet my doom -
This time, I will beat my gloom!
We definitely don't mind if you join us, and I also hope that you're still with us!Why not give this a shot?
It's okay that you didn't plan your words. This thread is a safe space for us to vent in the ways that we can. I just wanted to say that you have a way with words naturally that I enjoyed reading. Also, this makes three (or more, I might be missing people) writers in this pact!I can usually plan my words a bit better; I enjoy writing, and organizing my thoughts well. I just don't have that in me right now. I can barely think when I'm like this, my head is full of cotton, it vaguely aches.
Maybe you're not demented. I think life is just like this; push and pull, ups and downs, ebbs and flows. We lose ourselves for whatever reason and find a new person somewhere along the line. Maybe we don't have to stop it; we just have to roll with it. It's a hard lesson to learn though, because I'm struggling with that as well.I feel like I'm losing myself, the last bits that remained, and I have no idea how to stop it. It's like I'm almost a bit demented...
It always makes me happy to see that when you're at your lowest, the people around you seem to want to understand you and really make the effort to do that. You deserve people like that in your life, and I'm glad you are safe to be honest about how you feel with them.Before dinner, I was honest about how hopeless I've been feeling lately and we talked a bit, which was more helpful than I realized it would be.
This isn't such a bad thing. If we can look back on our past selves and cringe, it means that we have grown in some capacity. All we can do is grow, from here on out, from now on!I've spent a lot of time these past few weeks reflecting on my past & myself and I'm even more fucked up than I previously realized.
Thank you for the Winnie the Pooh quote. It definitely hit me right in the feels, haha.@UsagiDrop, I hope things are going better for you, and that you're still avoiding the alcohol. Please give yourself some time and love. Our problems didn't happen overnight, and they won't go away quickly. It will take hard work.
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think"
Winnie the Pooh
And I believe in you.
Unfortunately I wasn't able to stay away from alcohol this weekend, but I had a lot more control over how much I drank. I noticed that I don't really drink as much as I used to and probably not a lot in comparison to others, but I still think I drink way too much for my own standards. I've been putting my body through this for years. My mind wants to stop but my body misses it every time. I hate it here.
Sometimes you need to take your own advice. (I know, I know. I'm the last one who should mention this.) But I think you do tend to unfairly demonize yourself. If you think I'm wrong, go back through this thread and read your the first part of your posts - where you respond to others. I would say that is coming from a kind and generous person. If that brings you a sense of peace, maybe that's your calling, helping others at a time of crisis.A relapse is really unfortunate, but I don't think it's the end of the world. I think we talked about it in this thread but we shouldn't demonize ourselves for the ways we have learned to cope with our stresses. I won't tell you that you have to stop, there is no shame in anything that you've done.
Welcome to the thread! I love when lurkers join us, because that's exactly what I did. We're happy to have you.Didn't think I would post here but I was trying some different avenues and figured this would be the best place!
It's always great to hear that you're doing better. I hope that you can get into those habits again, as I'm sure they're good for your healing. I kind of want to start doing walks too but I can never bring myself to do anything. My apartment complex actually has a lot of paths to walk on, so it wouldn't be hard. Meditation, though, I never got the hang of.I've been feeling more ok lately, at least, and am coming out of my dissociation more I think. I might try and push myself to start meditating & going for walks outside again soon.
All of this talk about exercising is going to scare me back into a routine. A heart attack sounds so painful.After my heart attack, I got into a good routine of exercise.
I would agree, but doing it for a living isn't exactly going good for me. I do like to do it and it makes me happy to positively impact others, but I guess turning it into a job is burning me out and making me feel a little jaded about it. I wonder why I can help others, but not really myself?If that brings you a sense of peace, maybe that's your calling, helping others at a time of crisis.
I'm really so sorry to hear this. It's unfortunate that you've been having a bad time, I know how it is for days to just bleed into one another. But I'm happy you've found some relief at all, no matter how late it's arrived, and that you have something to look forward to in the future! Also, don't feel bad about not being able to reply to everyone/converse with people. Just updating us is enough, so thank you for checking in today!Time is really blurring by and I haven't been well.
My update today is that I worked through my anxiety and joined the Discord. Also, my plant is dead. Her name was Cathy and she was pink, so I loved her a lot. She will be missed, haha.Oh, and looking forward to seeing you on the Discord if you're able to sign up!!
Thank you! I was really happy to have picked up that habit, and it definitely helped me a ton. I haven't meditated since the other day when I posted, but we'll see if I can get back to it.It's always great to hear that you're doing better. I hope that you can get into those habits again, as I'm sure they're good for your healing. I kind of want to start doing walks too but I can never bring myself to do anything. My apartment complex actually has a lot of paths to walk on, so it wouldn't be hard. Meditation, though, I never got the hang of.
Being able to keep a habit like that up until September is really impressive, though! It hasn't been that long since then, so falling off isn't so bad. It's not too late to get on top of things again, and I hope that you do. Keep us updated, and thank you for checking in!
I understand this/ have been there myself as well… I think that imagining yourself as someone else is a really good idea! Have you seen the "advice to not be so hard on myself" thread? I ended up bookmarking it because everyone on the thread had a lot of wise words to say to the OP, and I think maybe it could be helpful for you as well.Thank you for your kind words, again. I do kind of hold this belief that everyone besides me is good, and I end up being way kinder to others than I am to myself. I'm a lot harder on myself for doing the same things that other people may do, I guess I hold myself to a higher standard that isn't really healthy. I don't know how to stop though. But maybe taking my own advice is a start. Or maybe I should imagine myself as someone that isn't myself, so I could give myself the same compassion I give others.
Same question.How can I join this discord group?
You need to get a few more posts I think but once you do I can pm you and invite you to the Bus Station Discord server if you would like, it's not the same one mentioned here just more of a general server but not focused on recovery but you can accept roles so you can only particiapate in the recovery sideHow can I join this discord group?
Okay thank you will try and interact on here more instead of just lurking hahaYou need to get a few more posts I think but once you do I can pm you and invite you to the Bus Station Discord server if you would like, it's not the same one mentioned here just more of a general server but not focused on recovery but you can accept roles so you can only particiapate in the recovery side