"I'd like to feel a bit better/ I'd like to recover" Support Group Megathread

[arnxxx]

Nice pics @stillunemployed

Today im rotting alone. My depression is getting worse by the day. My suicidal ideation is back.

I will go to an activity center meant for people who cant work. Activities are making bird houses, taking care of animals and painting. I don't know what to feel about this. Feels like I'm at ROCK BOTTOM but I'm not even sure about that because its getting worse. Maybe the bottom is even lower.

Life is a struggle right now

 

[stillunemployed]

good morning

 

[arnxxx]

Good Morning

I don't want to live like this any longer. I wish I was dead. Why can't it just go a little bit better? What did I do to deserve this?

My burn-out was 3 years ago and it only got worse. No sign of recovery. No hope right now. Can it just get 1% better?

 

[stillunemployed]

i want to go swimming. its been on my mind for the past month now.

 

[lita-lassi]

I only have a DSLR + Tele-Zoom lens rn. Your photos are amazing as always but what is a telescope lens? A real telescope? You can connect DSLR cams or special cams with T2 adapters. That will bring the best results with the focal length available and it also needs a very stable mount. If u want we can PM?

i had a literal telescope i used to use for stargazing, no mount or anything for my phone lol. your flowers are loverly feel free to 0m me whenever, im often slow on replies though

@stillunemployed i might be in love with those trees too

 

[stillunemployed]

good morning

 

[lita-lassi]

it is a good morning, i just got out of therapy and ended it on a high note talking about something i enjoy a lot so thankfully didnt spend the entire time crying and mad

hopefully everyone here can have at least that for themselves today at some point

 

[stillunemployed]

it is a good morning, i just got out of therapy and ended it on a high note talking about something i enjoy a lot so thankfully didnt spend the entire time crying and mad

hopefully everyone here can have at least that for themselves today at some point

meet mine tomorrow morning. I did what he asked me to do, which is make a photo of three same spots every day and then put it into a powerpoint for him

 

[stillunemployed]

good morning

 

[stillunemployed]

and another morning
*yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn*

 

[Praestat_Mori]

@stillunemployed Good morning!

I've noticed that since Monday you woke up earlier every day

How r things going?

 

[stillunemployed]

@stillunemployed Good morning!

I've noticed that since Monday you woke up earlier every day

How r things going?

Okay, I guess. Have another interview tomorrow. The weather has been too bipolar to go outside, tho.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Okay, I guess. Have another interview tomorrow.

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[Placo]

I think I'll cut my hair, at least I get something concrete done for the day.

 

[Placo]

I think I'll cut my hair, at least I get something concrete done for the day.

In the end I made it and even took a shower but it seemed like a lot of work, I think I need some nice activating antidepressant.

 

[cherry7]

I VOW TO MYSELF AND TO YOU THAT I WILL RECOVER.


I will go after the life I dream.
I really think I can do it & I WILL DO IT.

CTB is no longer an option for me, neither is failing and from now on I leave my past in the past and start anew.

I will definetely succeed in living the way I want to live and in being who I truly am & want to be.


I also vow to speak with my pact siblings on a daily basis because as of this moment we're in this together & WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER.

May this oath be my first step to recovery, happiness, fulfillment and the real joy of being alive.


20th of august 2023


————————————————————————


!!! You can write yours however you wish and fits you best.

The only thing I ask of you is to take it and the thread seriously.

We are not gonna try, we are gonna succeed

How do you make the decision for CTB not to be an option for you anymore?

 

[stillunemployed]

and another fucking morning

How do you make the decision for CTB not to be an option for you anymore?

once its too hard to do

 

[Praestat_Mori]

How do you make the decision for CTB not to be an option for you anymore?

I think this can only be a temporary decision bc none of us knows what's gonna happen in the future. Indeed, CTB can no longer be an option if a recovery is successful on all levels (whatever that may be for a person).

I don't think that just a lack of methods will cause someone to decide that CTB is no longer an option for them if their situation doesn't improve.

In my case, to abandon CTB completely for now there must be a full and satisfying recovery happening that solves all my issues that make me suicidal from time to time. That's what needs to happen imo.

 

[Proteus]

How do you make the decision for CTB not to be an option for you anymore?

When it isn't worth it.

It takes a lot of stress and mental anguish to think you are gonna die, and even more to do it yourself. There's a point when living just feels easier. It doesn't even have to get good, just bearable enough to not justify the pain of suicide.

 

[arnxxx]

I think this can only be a temporary decision bc none of us knows what's gonna happen in the future. Indeed, CTB can no longer be an option if a recovery is successful on all levels (whatever that may be for a person).

I don't think that just a lack of methods will cause someone to decide that CTB is no longer an option for them if their situation doesn't improve.

In my case, to abandon CTB completely for now there must be a full and satisfying recovery happening that solves all my issues that make me suicidal from time to time. That's what needs to happen imo.

I don't think something like that will happen. I hope your life is bearable enough to not ctb.

 

[Placo]

In the end I made it and even took a shower but it seemed like a lot of work, I think I need some nice activating antidepressant.

I'm afraid that an antidepressant like this might agitate me too much but I have to try it, I need stimulation, even If it makes me nervous, I have an arsenal of sedatives.

 

[cherry7]

When it isn't worth it.

It takes a lot of stress and mental anguish to think you are gonna die, and even more to do it yourself. There's a point when living just feels easier. It doesn't even have to get good, just bearable enough to not justify the pain of suicide.

Wow. Yes.

 

[lita-lassi]

i took too many pictures of the ducks and geese and sunset help

 

[stillunemployed]

Good morning! Winners win a weekend!

 

[HighFlight]

Good morning! Winners win a weekend!

Losers have to attend a very large and very formal wedding. Anxiety level through the roof.

@lita-lassi - I love all your sunset pictures. You have some beautiful sunsets where you are.

How do you make the decision for CTB not to be an option for you anymore?

Venin was a friend who tried hard to recovery, but ultimately lost his battle. He put this thread together to help people see that CTB is not the only answer. Too many people come here looking for methods and support. But many of them are hurting and in pain, and see ctb as the only way.

In my humble opinion, it should be used as a last resort, and not something that is done impulsively. After all, you can always come back to it, and ctb tomorrow. It doesn't work the other way around.

Many of the other replies contain good information. @Praestat_Mori suggests that the decision is temporary, as things change. It's becomes a decision you have renew almost daily.

As @Proteus mentions, sometimes it's easier to live with some suffering then to risk an attempt. ctb is difficult. I forgot the exact statistic, but it something like 7 attempts for 1 successful ctb. (Anyone, if you have the latest numbers, please update.) Just a few hours ago, a member attempted and failed. They were lucky in that they were able to help themselves. Other members have spent weeks in the hospital and had permanent damage, only making their pain and suffering worse.

Hopefully, you can find a method that allows you to push those thoughts to the side and focus on living. And I think the more that you can focus on life, the less time you'll have to think about ctb.

I wish you all the best as you determine your path, and hope that you can find some peace with whichever path you choose. And we're here for you if yous have any questions.