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arnxxx

arnxxx

Experienced
Mar 8, 2024
247
Nice pics @stillunemployed

Today im rotting alone. My depression is getting worse by the day. My suicidal ideation is back.

I will go to an activity center meant for people who cant work. Activities are making bird houses, taking care of animals and painting. I don't know what to feel about this. Feels like I'm at ROCK BOTTOM but I'm not even sure about that because its getting worse. Maybe the bottom is even lower.

Life is a struggle right now
 
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arnxxx

arnxxx

Experienced
Mar 8, 2024
247
Good Morning

I don't want to live like this any longer. I wish I was dead. Why can't it just go a little bit better? What did I do to deserve this?

My burn-out was 3 years ago and it only got worse. No sign of recovery. No hope right now. Can it just get 1% better?
 
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stillunemployed

lol lmao
Jun 1, 2023
264
i want to go swimming. its been on my mind for the past month now.
 
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lita-lassi

lita-lassi

let me spell it out for you: go to hell
Sep 25, 2023
537
I only have a DSLR + Tele-Zoom lens rn. Your photos are amazing as always but what is a telescope lens? A real telescope? You can connect DSLR cams or special cams with T2 adapters. That will bring the best results with the focal length available and it also needs a very stable mount. If u want we can PM?
i had a literal telescope i used to use for stargazing, no mount or anything for my phone lol. your flowers are loverly πŸ–€ feel free to 0m me whenever, im often slow on replies though

@stillunemployed i might be in love with those trees too

20240622 204643 20240622 210410 20240623 210349
 
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stillunemployed

lol lmao
Jun 1, 2023
264
good morning
 
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lita-lassi

lita-lassi

let me spell it out for you: go to hell
Sep 25, 2023
537
it is a good morning, i just got out of therapy and ended it on a high note talking about something i enjoy a lot so thankfully didnt spend the entire time crying and mad

hopefully everyone here can have at least that for themselves today at some point πŸ–€
 
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stillunemployed

lol lmao
Jun 1, 2023
264
it is a good morning, i just got out of therapy and ended it on a high note talking about something i enjoy a lot so thankfully didnt spend the entire time crying and mad

hopefully everyone here can have at least that for themselves today at some point πŸ–€
meet mine tomorrow morning. I did what he asked me to do, which is make a photo of three same spots every day and then put it into a powerpoint for him
 
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stillunemployed

lol lmao
Jun 1, 2023
264
good morning
 
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stillunemployed

lol lmao
Jun 1, 2023
264
and another morning
*yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn*
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
9,944
@stillunemployed Good morning!

I've noticed that since Monday you woke up earlier every day :sunglasses:

How r things going?
 
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stillunemployed

lol lmao
Jun 1, 2023
264
@stillunemployed Good morning!

I've noticed that since Monday you woke up earlier every day :sunglasses:

How r things going?
Okay, I guess. Have another interview tomorrow. The weather has been too bipolar to go outside, tho.
 
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Placo

Placo

At Eternity's Gates
Feb 14, 2024
585
I think I'll cut my hair, at least I get something concrete done for the day.
 
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Placo

Placo

At Eternity's Gates
Feb 14, 2024
585
I think I'll cut my hair, at least I get something concrete done for the day.
In the end I made it and even took a shower but it seemed like a lot of work, I think I need some nice activating antidepressant.
 
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cherry7

Experienced
Feb 18, 2023
242
I VOW TO MYSELF AND TO YOU THAT I WILL RECOVER.


I will go after the life I dream.
I really think I can do it & I WILL DO IT.

CTB is no longer an option for me, neither is failing and from now on I leave my past in the past and start anew.

I will definetely succeed in living the way I want to live and in being who I truly am & want to be.


I also vow to speak with my pact siblings on a daily basis because as of this moment we're in this together & WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER.

May this oath be my first step to recovery, happiness, fulfillment and the real joy of being alive.


20th of august 2023


β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”


!!! You can write yours however you wish and fits you best.

The only thing I ask of you is to take it and the thread seriously.

We are not gonna try, we are gonna succeed πŸ«‚πŸŒŸπŸ«ΆπŸΌ
How do you make the decision for CTB not to be an option for you anymore?
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
9,944
How do you make the decision for CTB not to be an option for you anymore?
I think this can only be a temporary decision bc none of us knows what's gonna happen in the future. Indeed, CTB can no longer be an option if a recovery is successful on all levels (whatever that may be for a person).

I don't think that just a lack of methods will cause someone to decide that CTB is no longer an option for them if their situation doesn't improve.

In my case, to abandon CTB completely for now there must be a full and satisfying recovery happening that solves all my issues that make me suicidal from time to time. That's what needs to happen imo.
 
P

Proteus

Oceanic Member
Feb 6, 2024
370
How do you make the decision for CTB not to be an option for you anymore?
When it isn't worth it.

It takes a lot of stress and mental anguish to think you are gonna die, and even more to do it yourself. There's a point when living just feels easier. It doesn't even have to get good, just bearable enough to not justify the pain of suicide.
 
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arnxxx

arnxxx

Experienced
Mar 8, 2024
247
I think this can only be a temporary decision bc none of us knows what's gonna happen in the future. Indeed, CTB can no longer be an option if a recovery is successful on all levels (whatever that may be for a person).

I don't think that just a lack of methods will cause someone to decide that CTB is no longer an option for them if their situation doesn't improve.

In my case, to abandon CTB completely for now there must be a full and satisfying recovery happening that solves all my issues that make me suicidal from time to time. That's what needs to happen imo.
I don't think something like that will happen. I hope your life is bearable enough to not ctb.
 
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Placo

Placo

At Eternity's Gates
Feb 14, 2024
585
In the end I made it and even took a shower but it seemed like a lot of work, I think I need some nice activating antidepressant.
I'm afraid that an antidepressant like this might agitate me too much but I have to try it, I need stimulation, even If it makes me nervous, I have an arsenal of sedatives.
 
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cherry7

Experienced
Feb 18, 2023
242
When it isn't worth it.

It takes a lot of stress and mental anguish to think you are gonna die, and even more to do it yourself. There's a point when living just feels easier. It doesn't even have to get good, just bearable enough to not justify the pain of suicide.
Wow. Yes.
 
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lita-lassi

lita-lassi

let me spell it out for you: go to hell
Sep 25, 2023
537
i took too many pictures of the ducks and geese and sunset help
20240628 202931 20240628 203101
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stillunemployed

lol lmao
Jun 1, 2023
264
Good morning! Winners win a weekend!
 
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HighFlight

HighFlight

Global Mod
Jun 28, 2023
565
Good morning! Winners win a weekend!
Losers have to attend a very large and very formal wedding. Anxiety level through the roof.

@lita-lassi - I love all your sunset pictures. You have some beautiful sunsets where you are. πŸ–€

How do you make the decision for CTB not to be an option for you anymore?
Venin was a friend who tried hard to recovery, but ultimately lost his battle. He put this thread together to help people see that CTB is not the only answer. Too many people come here looking for methods and support. But many of them are hurting and in pain, and see ctb as the only way.

In my humble opinion, it should be used as a last resort, and not something that is done impulsively. After all, you can always come back to it, and ctb tomorrow. It doesn't work the other way around.

Many of the other replies contain good information. @Praestat_Mori suggests that the decision is temporary, as things change. It's becomes a decision you have renew almost daily.

As @Proteus mentions, sometimes it's easier to live with some suffering then to risk an attempt. ctb is difficult. I forgot the exact statistic, but it something like 7 attempts for 1 successful ctb. (Anyone, if you have the latest numbers, please update.) Just a few hours ago, a member attempted and failed. They were lucky in that they were able to help themselves. Other members have spent weeks in the hospital and had permanent damage, only making their pain and suffering worse.

Hopefully, you can find a method that allows you to push those thoughts to the side and focus on living. And I think the more that you can focus on life, the less time you'll have to think about ctb.

I wish you all the best as you determine your path, and hope that you can find some peace with whichever path you choose. And we're here for you if yous have any questions. πŸ’™
 
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cherry7

Experienced
Feb 18, 2023
242
Losers have to attend a very large and very formal wedding. Anxiety level through the roof.

@lita-lassi - I love all your sunset pictures. You have some beautiful sunsets where you are. πŸ–€


Venin was a friend who tried hard to recovery, but ultimately lost his battle. He put this thread together to help people see that CTB is not the only answer. Too many people come here looking for methods and support. But many of them are hurting and in pain, and see ctb as the only way.

In my humble opinion, it should be used as a last resort, and not something that is done impulsively. After all, you can always come back to it, and ctb tomorrow. It doesn't work the other way around.

Many of the other replies contain good information. @Praestat_Mori suggests that the decision is temporary, as things change. It's becomes a decision you have renew almost daily.

As @Proteus mentions, sometimes it's easier to live with some suffering then to risk an attempt. ctb is difficult. I forgot the exact statistic, but it something like 7 attempts for 1 successful ctb. (Anyone, if you have the latest numbers, please update.) Just a few hours ago, a member attempted and failed. They were lucky in that they were able to help themselves. Other members have spent weeks in the hospital and had permanent damage, only making their pain and suffering worse.

Hopefully, you can find a method that allows you to push those thoughts to the side and focus on living. And I think the more that you can focus on life, the less time you'll have to think about ctb.

I wish you all the best as you determine your path, and hope that you can find some peace with whichever path you choose. And we're here for you if yous have any questions. πŸ’™
Wow that's really helpful. Every time I make the decision not to I just go back to the ctb decision right away. Is it possible that people fail so often because they don't properly plan and do it impulsively but if you plan it right it should go well?
 
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cherry7

Experienced
Feb 18, 2023
242
Losers have to attend a very large and very formal wedding. Anxiety level through the roof.

@lita-lassi - I love all your sunset pictures. You have some beautiful sunsets where you are. πŸ–€


Venin was a friend who tried hard to recovery, but ultimately lost his battle. He put this thread together to help people see that CTB is not the only answer. Too many people come here looking for methods and support. But many of them are hurting and in pain, and see ctb as the only way.

In my humble opinion, it should be used as a last resort, and not something that is done impulsively. After all, you can always come back to it, and ctb tomorrow. It doesn't work the other way around.

Many of the other replies contain good information. @Praestat_Mori suggests that the decision is temporary, as things change. It's becomes a decision you have renew almost daily.

As @Proteus mentions, sometimes it's easier to live with some suffering then to risk an attempt. ctb is difficult. I forgot the exact statistic, but it something like 7 attempts for 1 successful ctb. (Anyone, if you have the latest numbers, please update.) Just a few hours ago, a member attempted and failed. They were lucky in that they were able to help themselves. Other members have spent weeks in the hospital and had permanent damage, only making their pain and suffering worse.

Hopefully, you can find a method that allows you to push those thoughts to the side and focus on living. And I think the more that you can focus on life, the less time you'll have to think about ctb.

I wish you all the best as you determine your path, and hope that you can find some peace with whichever path you choose. And we're here for you if yous have any questions. πŸ’™
Losers have to attend a very large and very formal wedding. Anxiety level through the roof.

@lita-lassi - I love all your sunset pictures. You have some beautiful sunsets where you are. πŸ–€


Venin was a friend who tried hard to recovery, but ultimately lost his battle. He put this thread together to help people see that CTB is not the only answer. Too many people come here looking for methods and support. But many of them are hurting and in pain, and see ctb as the only way.

In my humble opinion, it should be used as a last resort, and not something that is done impulsively. After all, you can always come back to it, and ctb tomorrow. It doesn't work the other way around.

Many of the other replies contain good information. @Praestat_Mori suggests that the decision is temporary, as things change. It's becomes a decision you have renew almost daily.

As @Proteus mentions, sometimes it's easier to live with some suffering then to risk an attempt. ctb is difficult. I forgot the exact statistic, but it something like 7 attempts for 1 successful ctb. (Anyone, if you have the latest numbers, please update.) Just a few hours ago, a member attempted and failed. They were lucky in that they were able to help themselves. Other members have spent weeks in the hospital and had permanent damage, only making their pain and suffering worse.

Hopefully, you can find a method that allows you to push those thoughts to the side and focus on living. And I think the more that you can focus on life, the less time you'll have to think about ctb.

I wish you all the best as you determine your path, and hope that you can find some peace with whichever path you choose. And we're here for you if yous have any questions. πŸ’™
Losers have to attend a very large and very formal wedding. Anxiety level through the roof.

@lita-lassi - I love all your sunset pictures. You have some beautiful sunsets where you are. πŸ–€


Venin was a friend who tried hard to recovery, but ultimately lost his battle. He put this thread together to help people see that CTB is not the only answer. Too many people come here looking for methods and support. But many of them are hurting and in pain, and see ctb as the only way.

In my humble opinion, it should be used as a last resort, and not something that is done impulsively. After all, you can always come back to it, and ctb tomorrow. It doesn't work the other way around.

Many of the other replies contain good information. @Praestat_Mori suggests that the decision is temporary, as things change. It's becomes a decision you have renew almost daily.

As @Proteus mentions, sometimes it's easier to live with some suffering then to risk an attempt. ctb is difficult. I forgot the exact statistic, but it something like 7 attempts for 1 successful ctb. (Anyone, if you have the latest numbers, please update.) Just a few hours ago, a member attempted and failed. They were lucky in that they were able to help themselves. Other members have spent weeks in the hospital and had permanent damage, only making their pain and suffering worse.

Hopefully, you can find a method that allows you to push those thoughts to the side and focus on living. And I think the more that you can focus on life, the less time you'll have to think about ctb.

I wish you all the best as you determine your path, and hope that you can find some peace with whichever path you choose. And we're here for you if yous have any questions. πŸ’™
I'm not sure how to focus on life when I'm so severely depressed that prevents me from doing life. Any ideas?
 
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
9,944
I'm not sure how to focus on life when I'm so severely depressed that prevents me from doing life. Any ideas?
Any idea y you are severely depressed? Changing this trigger/circumstances can be a starting point. Otherwise, I have no specific ideas, depression can be paralyzing.
 
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lita-lassi

lita-lassi

let me spell it out for you: go to hell
Sep 25, 2023
537
one more for luck
20240628 205334

20240315 112959
20240315 112745 20240327 122951 20240312 145930 20240315 111426
happy saturday πŸ–€
 
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HighFlight

HighFlight

Global Mod
Jun 28, 2023
565
Here's a few from the past few days.

1000001957 1000001948 1000001964
 
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