"I'd like to feel a bit better/ I'd like to recover" Support Group Megathread

[vak]

That's awesome!! I only just started journaling a couple weeks ago haha. Any ideas or input you can think of would be great, thank you so much do you have a favorite type of journaling btw?

I love these guided journals, maybe it can give you some inspiration.

 

[soulkitty]

thats just my personal belief because everyone is capable of making their own decisions and i couldnt get behind any of the pre-determined religions

the general every day type journaling is something ive been doing off and on most of my life. so thats a little difficult to pinpoint. just because its "something people do" i guess. as far as all the specific ones i mentioned, i spend a lot of my time doing research, therapy, and wicca mostly. so sometimes i just trip across things and go " i like that idea" and either its good the way it is or i change it to work for me (like the confessional one. i think that started off as a "church god" type thing, but not being my beliefs, i tweaked it a little)

find what works best for you.
i personally dont try to stress filling them out. you dont always have something you want to say, or maybe it was a mediocre day so theres not much to add. thats ok.
and it doesnt hurt to add pictures, clippings ect. theres no reason a journal cant be like a scrapbook. it is your book after all, treat it the way that works best for you.
and if something isnt working out (As you can tell from my list of different journals ), theres different options, and probably some im missing/dont know about. so dont worry if its not for you, just try again.

of course you can, i didnt share them to not be shared

Thank you again for all of the tips they're very helpful and I appreciate them a lot. I like the advice of finding what works best for you, and not stressing if it doesn't work out, since you can always try again with new things. Also not worrying if you don't have much to add on mediocre days ♡

I love these guided journals, maybe it can give you some inspiration.

Yayy thank you Vak!! I'll make sure to take a look at them

I've been working all day on the thread, and all of last night too lmao, I'm almost done with it just gotta add in the advice and suggestions I don't think I've been this passionate and motivated about anything in a while, I never thought I would be passionate about journaling haha but I've been having so much fun researching everything

 

[Life_and_Death]

@soulkitty do you know if its going to be pinned or at least added to one of the lists of different threads thats pinned?

 

[lita-lassi]

i fucking hate myself

that is all

 

[soulkitty]

i fucking hate myself

that is all

Sending many hugs I know that feeling all too well

@soulkitty do you know if its going to be pinned or at least added to one of the lists of different threads thats pinned?

Hmmmm I don't know, hopefully it will be good enough for that ;^^ I'm way too shy to ask a mod about it lol

 

[Life_and_Death]

Hmmmm I don't know, hopefully it will be good enough for that ;^^ I'm way too shy to ask a mod about it lol

lol im not

@soulkitty do you know if its going to be pinned or at least added to one of the lists of different threads thats pinned?

@HighFlight when you get the moment thoughts??

 

[stillunemployed]

good morning

i fucking hate myself

that is all

yeah same

 

[HighFlight]

i fucking hate myself

We don't , but we've been there. Please take care of yourself, and know that we're here for you.

I'm way too shy to ask a mod about it

Please, you are welcome to dm anytime if you have a question. Anyone willing to send nice, cute drawings to SaSu users who ask should feel empowered to ask mods questions. In reality, we're just users like yourself, chasing our own demons.

@Life_and_Death, my thoughts...

I think that it could make a great addition to the pinned threads. Or in the worse case, we could link to from inside one of the pinned threads.

 

[HighFlight]

Disregard my last thought... @soulkitty, your thread has been pinned to the Recovery forum. That was an amazing amount of information and will be helpful for people looking to start or expand their own journaling. Thank you.

 

[soulkitty]

Disregard my last thought... @soulkitty, your thread has been pinned to the Recovery forum. That was an amazing amount of information and will be helpful for people looking to start or expand their own journaling. Thank you.

Ahhhh thank you!! ;w; I was quite nervous about posting it so I appreciate that so much. I hope it helps some people, honestly writing it helped me to distract from really bad thoughts and actually gave me some motivation for once. I also took a lot of inspiration from Dot's threads especially, and other resource threads

 

[MarkSmith73]

Life is very hard and it's meant to be hard. That's the only way we can truly learn. I've been through some really difficult struggles especially with lack of money and long hours at work. I still struggle with depression and need lots of meds and alcohol to sleep, for anxiety and just to get through the day. But no matter how difficult things get there is hope. I'm trying to make the most of every day and looking forward to the true beauty that exists on the Other Side. For me it's just about getting through one day at a time and realizing that this life here is just one tiny piece of the puzzle.

 

[arnxxx]

Good morning

Life is hard indeed. Every day is a struggle to get through. I have this depression and anxiety this morning like every morning. Quitting rTMS soon since it doesn't do anything.

Now ECT becomes an option. It has it's side effects but I don't mind those. As long as it works. Trying to stop lorazepam doesn't work. I take 1.5 pill less than when I started quitting. Its going so bad that my psych tells me to stay on this dose for the time being.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i feel (hopefully) relieved

after another episode of "are you mad at me" with my little brother
and a trigger/venting episode
this morning i thought about the spoon theory. and i thought....hmmm lets try another approach. and explained that im not mad at him, i just dont have enough spoons/energy to talk to you.

he claims he understands, of course, he also said he understood when i said i wasnt mad at him, yet still he asked again. so we'll see. but hopefully, this sticks. hopefully this works.

this is going to take so much pressure off me

 

[stillunemployed]

Morning everyone

 

[soulkitty]

Good morning

 

[MarkSmith73]

Good morning

Life is hard indeed. Every day is a struggle to get through. I have this depression and anxiety this morning like every morning. Quitting rTMS soon since it doesn't do anything.

Now ECT becomes an option. It has it's side effects but I don't mind those. As long as it works. Trying to stop lorazepam doesn't work. I take 1.5 pill less than when I started quitting. Its going so bad that my psych tells me to stay on this dose for the time being.

Every day is definitely a struggle especially starting the day. Usually I feel better as I go along but I take 30mg of Temazepam to sleep along with Doxapin, Seroquel and Gabapentin which promotes a general feeling of wellbeing. I have social anxiety and I was drinking around a fifth of borboun every few days but now I'm broke til Friday when I get paid so I'm just drinking beer lol. Honestly it makes everything easier and I've been drinking fairly heavy for 30 years now. Goal is to gradually cut back and Lorazepam definitely helped with that but doctor won't prescribe that with Temazepam. I hope your depression and anxiety get better and just remember there's always hope. We have a beautiful future to look forward to. I've made it this far and my goal is to keep making it one day at a time.

 

[stillunemployed]

Good morning
View attachment 140625

i wish i could be like that, but i am TOO MAD AT EVERYTHING NOW

 

[arnxxx]

Every day is definitely a struggle especially starting the day. Usually I feel better as I go along but I take 30mg of Temazepam to sleep along with Doxapin, Seroquel and Gabapentin which promotes a general feeling of wellbeing. I have social anxiety and I was drinking around a fifth of borboun every few days but now I'm broke til Friday when I get paid so I'm just drinking beer lol. Honestly it makes everything easier and I've been drinking fairly heavy for 30 years now. Goal is to gradually cut back and Lorazepam definitely helped with that but doctor won't prescribe that with Temazepam. I hope your depression and anxiety get better and just remember there's always hope. We have a beautiful future to look forward to. I've made it this far and my goal is to keep making it one day at a time.

Thanks for your kind words.
Hope... I have less hope every day. It helps a little bit when people online tell me there is hope. That it will get better some day.

I lose hope because my depression keeps getting worse. There is not a moment where I feel like I'm recovering.

Alcohol helps but I only drink with friends together. I don't think that drinking alone is a sustainable solution. But you've been doing it for 30 years so I don't think it's easy to just quit. I usually feel terrible the day after drinking.

I applied for day activity (no idea what the English term is) with my local government. Easy work or activity with others. i hope that will give me distraction from my depression. They will call me soon with the possibilities.

i wish i could be like that, but i am TOO MAD AT EVERYTHING NOW

What's wrong?

 

[stillunemployed]

Thanks for your kind words.
Hope... I have less hope every day. It helps a little bit when people online tell me there is hope. That it will get better some day.

I lose hope because my depression keeps getting worse. There is not a moment where I feel like I'm recovering.

Alcohol helps but I only drink with friends together. I don't think that drinking alone is a sustainable solution. But you've been doing it for 30 years so I don't think it's easy to just quit. I usually feel terrible the day after drinking.

I applied for day activity (no idea what the English term is) with my local government. Easy work or activity with others. i hope that will give me distraction from my depression. They will call me soon with the possibilities.

What's wrong?

I got rejected for a bookkeeping position in goverment office for shit pay, i have years of experiance in accounting and again i am overqualified. FUCK EVERYTHING

THE FUCKING WEASELS DANGLED THIS JOB IN FRONT OF ME FOR FULL FUCKING MONTH
i dont drink, dont smoke, i am the healthiest i have ever been

BUT THAT DONT MEAN SHIT

 

[Life_and_Death]

i apparently have all 4 types of chronic stress....

emotional, environmental, relationship, and work....

and i have for.....idk how many years.......

this makes me want to cry.......

 

[Life_and_Death]

idk if i can go home this weekend.......
idk if theres a point in going home.......

 

[stillunemployed]

good morning

 

[MarkSmith73]

Thanks for your kind words.
Hope... I have less hope every day. It helps a little bit when people online tell me there is hope. That it will get better some day.

I lose hope because my depression keeps getting worse. There is not a moment where I feel like I'm recovering.

Alcohol helps but I only drink with friends together. I don't think that drinking alone is a sustainable solution. But you've been doing it for 30 years so I don't think it's easy to just quit. I usually feel terrible the day after drinking.

I applied for day activity (no idea what the English term is) with my local government. Easy work or activity with others. i hope that will give me distraction from my depression. They will call me soon with the possibilities.

What's wrong?

Yeah I've definitely been drinking a long time and I'm still functioning very well overall. Tests were all good on my recent physical. Winston Churchill was a very heavy drinker and lived to be 90. I just spread it out over the day and my body has long ago gotten used to it. I'm 6'2 and 250 so I have a fairly high tolerance. That's great that you're applying for day activity. Being busy definitely helps. I work because I have to but I'd like to win the Powerball and take a break. I'd like to travel and do more things and give my family more security but for now I just have to work hard and grind it out to pay the bills. I know saying there is hope is empty words for a lot of people who are truly suffering. But from my experience things always get better. And if they don't there's a beautiful future no matter what. I know people probably get tired of me posting this but John is a personal friend of mine and his experience proves to me that there's an unimaginably bright future ahead no matter what our outcome is on this earth. But hopefully we both can continue to last a long time and make this world a better place. I know the world is a better place with us in it so continue to stay strong and remember that life is meant to be hard but that's how we truly learn.

 

[Life_and_Death]

idk what to do...
im suppose to be going home for the first time in 15yrs (suppose to be a positive) i have less than 24hrs to get ready and cant do it...my stress lvls are through the roof.....and to make the whole thing worse.....i left my bf because things just...werent going to work out........

im gonna feel like shit if i stay...im gonna feel horrible if i go.......

 

[stillunemployed]

ive calmed down a bit.

went for a walk. tried some running.

 

[stillunemployed]

took some pics

 

[stillunemployed]

good morning

 

[Placo]

I decided to maximize the dosages of antidepressants to see if the situation improves, I decided to do it alone because at the moment I am not followed by anyone.

 

[Tesha]

Hello All. As with the rest of my current existence, I've been absent from this part of the forum for a while. Opened this thread, realised there's been several weeks of everyone's updates, got a bit overwhelmed so didn't read any… I do however hope that everyone's journeys are still moving in the right direction.

I've spent the last 3 weeks in a psychiatric hospital, courtesy of the NHS… I'm still informal, although a little incident with a bottle of spirits and a trip to A&E meant I was put on a 72 hour hold for a while. I'm not sure they really understood my need to obliterate my ability to think / function meant I wouldn't be able to go home and drink my N. It's funny the things we'll do to ourselves not only to self harm, but to self preserve (in my case, they're the same). I think I also wrote some shit on the forum during this period… oops…

I'm desperate to get out now, but I know if I push too hard I'll be sectioned. This place is physically safe, but not emotionally. It's a shame as most of the staff are very nice, but I'm internalising the fact I'm on a locked ward (although I can take leave) and it's triggering my CPTSD.

Got to keep trying for my kids. At least a bit longer.

 

[Confront4283]

23, gf left, fired from job, grandma died, agoraphobic, therapy not working etc.

I'll start by saying that shortly before graduating university I had a life changing panic attack causing me agoraphobia and I had to get on meds and start therapy, since then I've done talking therapy which didn't work, IFS, Mindfulness therapy, humanistic therapy, even integrated therapy. Nothing. It's so hard to find someone who does CBT because they all say it's too surface level, but I at least want to try it.

Anyway, after that life changing panic attack my depression worsened causing the love of my life to step away after 7 years, I'd been struggling with concentrating on work and I tried my hardest to balance it but that failed and now I've been fired for performance. It was a WFH dream job.

Then, last week, just found out my grandma died, the only relative I was ever close to.

I'm losing my goddamn mind, I've been at rock bottom for a year and a half and everytime I think it can't get worse, it does. What the hell do I do? Where is my step forward? I've never felt more lost and devoid of meaning and hope as I feel right now. Sometimes it feels like my life is completely over.

I should also mention I have zero family because they were abusive, and my friends are surface level. I truly am alone through this.