I want to kill myself because I will never find a girlfriend

[Squalo]

That's a shallow friendship, but genuine friendships run deeper than going to bars and drinking. You can also find friends to be emotionally open with. You can find friends to do nerdy hobbies with. It's not exclusive to women that you're in a relationship with.

A friendship cannot replace a relationship.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I can understand that not having a partner is agonizing bc it's actually against our basic human instincts incl the desire o procreate to keep the species alive. It's up 2 u but I can tell you even if you have a long term relationship it won't be as it is in the beginning. But I truly understand the desire to have gf and do the stuff we do / want to do by instincts.

It's like a double edged sword, staying alone has its advantages and being together with a partner (maybe married) can have advantages and also disadvantages. I'd say none of these "problems" would be a reason to kys but that's subjective.

A friendship cannot replace a relationship.

That is true! If it was real friendship it cannot be replaced. Real/True friends are hard to find.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Then don't ask her out, maybe just become friends, would that be so bad?
As a bonus, through being friends you might learn to not be afraid of her anymore and either be able to ask her out then, or be able to talk to other girls without being scared.
Oooor you might realise that your bestie is all you need already.

I have this problem with men where they become my friend only because they want the relationship, and see the friendship as a consolation prize lol. I would love if this changed. I don't befriend men anymore for this reason, or I give them a talk as soon as we become close enough that I would never consider them romantically. In some circles, when women act close with their female friends, it's normal, but when men do so with their male friends, it's stigmatized as homosexual. A problem is created where men then crave emotional closeness, but are unable to visualize it outside of a romantic relationship.

Meanwhile, people who grow up with healthy ideas about friendship and gender roles know that you CAN open up emotionally to your friends, can have deep conversations with them, and are typically more emotionally in tune. My favorite ex-boyfriend has a close relationship with his male best friend, and he's emotionally open, mature, and in-tune to other people's feelings (a way more attractive trait than height and looks or whatever the fuck incels think women want).

Instead of being able to identify this as a problem, disillusioned men think the solution is pouring in 100% of their repressed emotions into one single person.

Conversely, women don't want to return this, one because they don't have repressed emotions due to having friends to rely on and because it's acceptable for women to express emotion, and two because since they don't, being an emotional support system for their s/o would lack reciprocity and get irritating.

The jump from being too anxious about talking to someone to immediately ctb is way too big, and I know that sounds stupid as anxiety is one of my reasons for wanting to ctb but hear me out.

I think it's the self-esteem haha. You start to feel bad about yourself if it seems like 'nobody wants me.'

True love isn't "romantic" in nature, it's closer to trust and care.

I completely agree with this, the closest relationship I've ever had with someone was non-romantic and they are more important to me than any significant other, family, or friend I've ever had. Sex and romance is really an afterthought in all of my most fulfilling romantic relationships as well.

 

[Squalo]

Even on this forum there are engaged people who say relationships are overrated.

I'm worse than I thought.

That is true! If it was real friendship it cannot be replaced. Real/True friends are hard to find.

I don't care about friends, with all due respect.

I want a woman who likes me, with whom I can be together and share life and sexuality, no one has ever wanted me in 32 years of my life.
Almost all of you say he's overrated, but meanwhile you've had relationships, I've never had any.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I want a woman who likes me, with whom I can be together and share life and sexuality, no one has ever wanted me in 32 years of my life.
Almost all of you say he's overrated, but meanwhile you've had relationships, I've never had any.

Well yes I had, 2 in my 20's, and the one I have still now not before my early 30's. ik there were many people with tons of relations ships that broke up quickly.

I understand your desire but if u want to force it, it won't last long or happen at all. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Dysgenic Pup]

dating and sex are overrated. Almost every couples are unhappy or shallow. Most people end up happier alone.

This is so dismissive... It's like walking up to a homeless person and being like, "I know you're homeless, but you know what? Having mortgage debt sucks. You should be thankful for not having to pay off a loan on a house."

You know what else is overrated? Life-long social isolation. Being alone is much better when you can be so on your own terms.

 

[ScubaCTB]

Even on this forum there are engaged people who say relationships are overrated.

I'm worse than I thought.

I don't care about friends, with all due respect.

I think most of the people in this forum are loners, like you and I, and they project their miserable lives onto others to cope, with all due respect. We're all here for the same reason. Yet people dismiss real and very painful realities like yours. The best years I ever had was 2020 to early 2023, and those were COVID and lockdown years. It was so great going out or hanging out at our home or someone's else's home with my girlfriend and other couples who either the man or the woman are my friend. Those are priceless, fun times where we're all joking, laughing, playing board games, and telling man vs. woman jokes to each other. I won't say I hate her. But her deception for those two years and crushing my heart like that irreparably hurt me.

I want a woman who likes me, with whom I can be together and share life and sexuality, no one has ever wanted me in 32 years of my life.
Almost all of you say he's overrated, but meanwhile you've had relationships, I've never had any.

Damn man, I'm so sorry. I probably would have CTB at age 20 if I was still a virgin. But just as a stranger and distant friend, I would love to see you try, even in this f* up world of dating and non-communication. Bottom line is that it will take effort to get a real woman. You said you're short, poor and not very good looking. Your only hope, and I'm being so genuine and honest right now, is to have a nice body.

Women like muscles and abs just as much as men like T & A. You don't need to be a bodybuilder. But get in the gym for six months. You may even meet a woman at the gym who is doing the same thing you are...a fat woman who has been used all her life as a last resort f* at bar closing time, and she wants a husband and not more one-night stands. Then wear clothes that highlight your best features. Women that work in clothing stores like Macy's and Bloomingdale's are paid to show you what to wear for women to like you. Sadly that's the reality we live in. Materialism.

And then once you meet the girl, and hold her hand, and that vibration goes through your whole body the first time you kiss her, a motivation you never had will be born. A motivation to be a great man, a solid man, a successful man, because you have her and want her or another one who is staring at you while you're holding her hand in public. I guarantee you.

You're younger than me, like most people in this forum. But you either need to give the hunt a real try this year, or not. You have to make it happen. It won't just fall in your lap. But if you don't want to go through all that, it's totally understandable.

 

[Squalo]

It's too late for everything now, I'll die without knowing what it feels like to hold a girl's hand.
I've been trying since I was a teenager, but now it's time to stop fighting after all these years without results.

the only thing that makes me angry is that I am an honest man who has always worked and has been kind to everyone, while I continually see thugs and bullies accompanied by beautiful girls that I will never have.

I'm tired of this life that doesn't repay me for all the sacrifices I make, I signed up here several years ago and I've always postponed my CTB, trying to recover, but it's all been in vain.
Everyone I know has loved at least someone, even in here. Am I the only one who has to stay alone?
This year I'm more determined, I've reached my limit.

Reaching 32 without ever having touched a woman is a sentence that I don't wish on anyone.

 

[sammiechzxv]

There's someone for everyone out there. I'm positive you'll find someone someday.

& it's never too late to start experiencing anything. There are people way older than you who haven't either. The right person should understand.

 

[flightless bird]

It only takes 30 minutes to find a girl if you are handsome and rich, I am just a mediocre man always at the back of the line, I have never been anyone's choice.

I leave the house and where do I go? on the street alone to see couples kissing?
at work? in the factory where I work they are all married men.
My school friends have gone to other cities, I have no one now, and no one wants a lonely man.

Women don't like me, I'm short, I do a menial job and I've always led a solitary life.

I'm not going with a prostitute just because I need a car and I don't have one.

you can go to bars, gyms, use dating apps, instagram, or just approach girls while taking a walk in the park. you need to put yourself out there.

forget about your job and looks. i'm telling you, it is all about confidence and effective communication. watch some "how to approach girls" videos on youtube and practice your speech in front of the mirror. you can do it if you really desire it...

 

[Squalo]

you can go to bars, gyms, use dating apps, instagram, or just approach girls while taking a walk in the park. you need to put yourself out there.

forget about your job and looks. i'm telling you, it is all about confidence and effective communication. watch some "how to approach girls" videos on youtube and practice your speech in front of the mirror. you can do it if you really desire it...

I'm no longer 15, I'm 32, a man who reaches this age without experience becomes mentally ill, women recognize them immediately and always avoid.
Nobody wants a 30+ virgin, there's no point in pretending it's not a problem, I'm perceived as strange everywhere I go.
I'm also having erection problems caused by anxiety, because I'm a total incompetent with no experience.

No woman would be willing to be with me, there is much better out there, my only option is to pay.

 

[SexyIncél]

What could this theoretical person greatly value do you think? To the level that she'd be willing to play emotional support body pillow for someone? I'm fine with helping people overcome their traumas too, but for those people I'd leave them strictly as friends.

Haha, I like the feeling of being a theoretical person! :P If I may toot my own horn, I'm a foul-weather friend, who sticks by people in the rain. My friends & intimates frequently remark that they can open up to me. And I respond that reducing their suffering feels equally fun as increasing pleasure. Sometimes more so, since the usual pleasures get dull, and fixing suffering tends to lead to more adventure & self improvement

(I mean, you can make pleasures adventurous, like playing hide-and-seek across Italy, leaving clues. But how fun can it really be — pleasure amidst poverty?)

And thus, people love me to an extent that (I imagine) few people get loved. The pay's awful... but you can do similar to solve rich people's problems in exchange for money

So, I wrote up what I greatly value from someone in a relationship

From my perspective, fixing someone's problems allows us to bond in shared struggle & insinuate ourselves into each other's lives. We practice teamwork — gaining info on how we act in difficult situations. Do we preempt mistakes? How do we fix mistakes that we didn't preempt?

This gives me a full read on their yellow & red flags, often rapidly. Giving me enough information on how to treat them

I actually do enjoy being sad — in a cathartic way. BUT! Generally, when I help someone, there has to be a solution, and they have to take clear brave steps towards it. The person you responded to said "I believe I could overcome my traumas with her help." Now, you didn't ask why they think that — @Yone, could you please elaborate? — but it's indeed plausible, since I've helped people do just that in relationships

But yes, that said, your position is closer to the Redpill community, which does advocate you fix yourself & provide value, so you can pull high-quality and/or multiple gals. Because (maybe depending where you live) most women are consumerist pleasure-seekers who want a strong, daring man who's got their shit together. They may value loyalty & kindness — but often at a much lower priority than (say) status

Personally though, I prioritize caring about those who care about others. So, if a guy wants a (rare) gf who values morality over Instagram pleasures — I would advise him to practice helping others. And develop his intellect by teaching others. And even then, since a quality gf's rare, there's no guarantees. But at least that's another path to dragging yourself out of your traumas: helping others. Becoming a lovable person, a person who can genuinely love even himself

I completely agree with this, the closest relationship I've ever had with someone was non-romantic and they are more important to me than any significant other, family, or friend I've ever had. Sex and romance is really an afterthought in all of my most fulfilling romantic relationships as well.

I recall you mentioned in another thread that you're on the asexual spectrum?

 

[Le_Dauphin]

I'm 32 and I'm a virgin guy. I've never touched or kissed a girl and never had sex.
I'm not particularly good looking, I'm not rich or interesting, no one wants me.

This situation has made me a pathetic little man who never grew up. I look around, I see teenage couples and I realize that I'm just wasting my time.
It's late now, late to find love, late to satisfy a girl, late to discover sex for the first time, late for the first kiss, late for everything.
These are things I had to do in adolescence, and now that train is lost forever.

I can only go with a prostitute to experience what it feels like, but I no longer have the courage or desire to do so.
It might be a stupid reason for CTB, but I'm tired of not enjoying the pleasures in life that are normal for all other people.

I only live to work, there is no woman for me on this Earth, so why live? I'm tired of being alone.
Having no one who loves you is the worst sentence.

Some people usually say here that this is unimportant and that we shouldn't bother so much, but deep down they know that no one can possibly be respected or seen as an accomplished person being a 30+ semi-virgin in this world. No matter what you do. Crack addicts who have an active sexual life will be seen as more successful than us by society. There's really no point in fighting for any professional or personal acievement since, with no sex, we will forever be regarded as nobodies. I long for the day when maggots will be consuming my already putrid and undesirable flesh.

 

[Adûnâi]

Some imbeciles usually say here that this is unimportant and that we shouldn't bother so much, but deep down they know that no one can possibly be respected or seen as an accomplished person being a 30+ semi-virgin in this world. No matter what you do. Crack addicts who have an active sexual life will be seen as more successful than us by society. There's really no point in fighting for any professional or personal acievement since, with no sex, we will forever be regarded as nobodies. I long for the day when maggots will be consuming my already putrid and undesirable flesh.

Feel free to change the bad word, I don't want you to get banned for nothing.

 

[1up]

It's too late for everything now, I'll die without knowing what it feels like to hold a girl's hand.

Where'd you grow up? In some backwards country?
Most people interact with girls in elementary school. Since you're over the age of 30, most 'girls' are actually women.

No woman would be willing to be with me, there is much better out there, my only option is to pay.

We women aren't all after money and beauty. I know many women who are attracted to men's personalities foremost. They seek emotional connection too.

I'd advise against going the prostitute route unless you're in a developed country. Many women are forced into it and severely abused in that industry.

In certain cultures, it's very common for men to be virgins at age 30+. It's only weird if you make it weird.

Besides, you seem very vulnerable and depressed. Getting into a relationship when you haven't tackled your mental health isn't going to end well.

I continually see thugs and bullies accompanied by beautiful girls that I will never have.

A part of the problem is probably your standards. You want a beautiful woman when you're no Adonis. You're also not entitled to a woman just because you've been a good person. We're not trophies, ffs.

 

[Squalo]

Where'd you grow up? In some backwards country?
Most people interact with girls in elementary school. Since you're over the age of 30, most 'girls' are actually women.


We women aren't all after money and beauty. I know many women who are attracted to men's personalities foremost. They seek emotional connection too.

I'd advise against going the prostitute route unless you're in a developed country. Many women are forced into it and severely abused in that industry.

In certain cultures, it's very common for men to be virgins at age 30+. It's only weird if you make it weird.

Besides, you seem very vulnerable and depressed. Getting into a relationship when you haven't tackled your mental health isn't going to end well.

A part of the problem is probably your standards. You want a beautiful woman when you're no Adonis. You're also not entitled to a woman just because you've been a good person. We're not trophies, ffs.

Now since I said there are bullies with beautiful girls am I the one who has high standards? It's always women who choose their partner, I have no standards, not even the ugly ones want me.

My depression was partly caused by women, who always made fun of me for being short, humble, poor and inadequate.

I have now decided that I will go to a prostitute and then I will kill myself.

 

[Adûnâi]

I have now decided that I will go to a prostitute and then I will kill myself.

Based, I wish I were in your place. Is coping with AI not an option to you though? Everything might changed in 2024, would suck if you missed it right around the corner.

P.S. Feel free to DM me unless you've ignored me, my case is rather similar.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It's too late for everything now, I'll die without knowing what it feels like to hold a girl's hand.
I've been trying since I was a teenager, but now it's time to stop fighting after all these years without results.

the only thing that makes me angry is that I am an honest man who has always worked and has been kind to everyone, while I continually see thugs and bullies accompanied by beautiful girls that I will never have.

I'm tired of this life that doesn't repay me for all the sacrifices I make, I signed up here several years ago and I've always postponed my CTB, trying to recover, but it's all been in vain.
Everyone I know has loved at least someone, even in here. Am I the only one who has to stay alone?
This year I'm more determined, I've reached my limit.

Reaching 32 without ever having touched a woman is a sentence that I don't wish on anyone.

I'm sorry, but this mentality is probably part of why you've never had a girlfriend. Who the hell is going to want to be with someone who always pities themselves and shames other men who've had more luck with women by referring to them as "thugs and bullies"? That's not something someone who is actually kind and nice would say.

Would you find me appealing if I were to say shit like, "all these men only fall for whores and bitchy sluts and overlook nice kind-hearted girls like me"?

I'm a virgin. I've never dated anyone before and it's just now that I've started having for feelings for someone who reciprocates them back (it me being drunk to realize those feelings, too, lol), and while I am younger than you, I do understand that society has a tendency to put a lot of undeserved attention and emphasis on the idea of having a romantic relationship. With that in mind, even I understand that this sort of mentality that you have just makes you look unappealing.

You aren't owed a relationship. Life doesn't anyone owe anything. I understand that not having ever been a romantic or sexual relationship sucks and that society has a tendency to base people's worth on those things, but you need to change your niceguy mentality, dude.

Maybe you should just start living for yourself. There are people out there who have stopped bothering with romantic relationships altogther and have claimed that it's one of the best decisions they've ever made.

 

[Adûnâi]

Would you find me appealing if I were to say shit like, "all these men only fall for whores and bitchy sluts and overlook nice kind-hearted girls like me"?

Because that probably wouldn't be true, given the sexual market dynamics.

You aren't owed a relationship. Life doesn't anyone owe anything.

A baby bird can be eaten by a snake, but it's still somewhat expected to fly, and being eaten is painful and ugly.

Maybe you should just start living for yourself.

As I have replied above, what if living for oneself is exactly insufferable?

 

[Squalo]

I'm sorry, but this mentality is probably part of why you've never had a girlfriend. Who the hell is going to want to be with someone who always pities themselves and shames other men who've had more luck with women by referring to them as "thugs and bullies"? That's not something someone who is actually kind and nice would say.

Would you find me appealing if I were to say shit like, "all these men only fall for whores and bitchy sluts and overlook nice kind-hearted girls like me"?

It's not a mentality, it's the reality of the facts, I live in an area with very high crime, and criminals are always surrounded by women, same thing with the bullies who beat me during school.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

It's not a mentality, it's the reality of the facts, I live in an area with very high crime, and criminals are always surrounded by women, same thing with the bullies who beat me during school.

It's not a fact. It's an anecdote and anecdotes can be affected by a variety of biases. Either way, you do have a niceguy mentality and it's not making you look good.

 

[Adûnâi]

Either eay, you do have a niceguy mentality and it's not making you look good.

Wait, are you implying that being nice is evil? Or is there something linguistic I'm missing? Because that would be very incel, it's the incels who despise "simp beta orbiters".

 

[Squalo]

It's not a fact. It's an anecdote and anecdotes can be affected by a variety of biases. Either way, you do have a niceguy mentality and it's not making you look good.

I already knew this, and I'm not interested in changing my mentality to attract women, since I disgust them anyway since I'm short and poor.
At 32 it's too late to have a first relationship, I'm simply trying to meet people with the same problem as me before leaving this world.

 

[Le_Dauphin]

It's not a fact. It's an anecdote and anecdotes can be affected by a variety of biases. Either way, you do have a niceguy mentality and it's not making you look good.

Bad boy attitude is only attractive in attractive men. Unattractive people have a reason to remain "nice" for the rest of their lives, otherwise, all we would get would be the cops called on us.

 

[Adûnâi]

Bad boy attitude is only attractive in attractive men. Unattractive people have a reason to remain "nice" for the rest of their lives

Not exactly. The Grand Incel Theory of the Universe talks about the dark triad personality which supposedly attracts female attention (narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy).

 

[Le_Dauphin]

Not exactly. The Grand Incel Theory of the Universe talks about the dark triad personality which supposedly attracts female attention (narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy).

Makes entire sense reproductively, since those traits would create a male who would be the most effective in protecting his offspring. Unfortunately, I perceive that those traits can't actually be "cultivated", but seem to be part of the "pack" belonging naturally to already attractive men.

 

[SexyIncél]

Would you find me appealing if I were to say shit like, "all these men only fall for whores and bitchy sluts and overlook nice kind-hearted girls like me"?

Sure, why not? Many women are cynical about men — often with good reason. I'd find you appealing based on other attributes: physical, intellectual & moral

Admittedly, if you call yourself a "nice kind-hearted girl", that raises my expectations. But sure, I'd definitely listen & try to observe what's below the surface. There's multiple reasons why you might phrase it that way: trauma, narcissism, etc. Some I can work with, some I can't

That said, redpillers agree with you: nice guys indeed finish last in relationships. You definitely want to avoid being the "nice guy"

Reminds me of black feminist bell hooks, who wrote: "Most women do not want to deal with male pain if it interferes with the satisfaction of female desire."

I'm a virgin. I've never dated anyone before

I've noticed a problem in such threads. They feature confident-sounding analysis by women with extreme inexperience. (Even asexual women downplaying the value of sex.) Who don't seem to cite quality literature, nor do they mention case studies from successfully advising men through their struggles to accomplish goals

Also, IRL women give significantly different advice than online women. Online women tend to virtue-signal more

You aren't owed a relationship. Life doesn't anyone owe anything.

Maybe I'll say such things to brokenhearted lonely gals here

Or maybe not. I sometimes like to act moral. When they give up, I'll just commisserate with them. Keeping some of my quibbles to myself. Because the masses of consumerist men indeed treat gals like shit. Just like the masses of consumerist women treat guys like shit

 

[Squalo]

Men don't have the power of choice, women do.
The world sucks because women always choose the wrong men, and the worst ones run the world.

 

[Groundhog_Day]

Men don't have the power of choice, women do.
The world sucks because women always choose the wrong men, and the worst ones run the world.

I'm 41 years old virgin and personally, I think the problem is all mine, not anything to do with women.

I lack confidence, charisma, intelligence, wit, assertiveness, attractiveness and practical skills. It might be a cop out, but I put this down to losing the genetic lottery.

Maybe it's because my case is quite extreme, but I just don't understand blaming women for my situation.

 

[Squalo]

I'm 41 years old virgin and personally, I think the problem is all mine, not anything to do with women.

I lack confidence, charisma, intelligence, wit, assertiveness, attractiveness and practical skills. It might be a cop out, but I put this down to losing the genetic lottery.

Maybe it's because my case is quite extreme, but I just don't understand blaming women for my situation.

honestly when I see Bianchi Brothers were both engaged and one even has a son, I really blame the female mentality.