Synrelia
Member
- Apr 5, 2023
- 11
i'm kind of panicked right now so i apologise for being incoherent.
to keep a long story short, i finally opened up about a guy that got me drunk and raped me. in the community we share, he has more in game ranking titles and has a better rep than me. people don't like me because i have always talked about bad people in this community and stood up to them, and now no one just gives a fuck that i got raped or is doing anything to cut him out of this shitty place.
i feel so, so disgusted and absolutely horrible. it makes me think people are saying that it's fine if he raped me, because 'it's syn after all', right? people are fucking defending him. i provided over 10 pages worth of evidence and a single tweet of his with no basis gets all the support. it feels so fucking horrible.
I want to cut and overdose, but haha I'm running low on my setraline, i could only take about 550mg right now (I take 100mg att the moment) but i worry what would happen to my cats if no one feeds them and theyr'e indoor cats, i live in a 3rd floor apartment and the only real ways out are the windows aka not safe.
i know 550mg won't kill me, or mayube it will but if the worst case happens i'd get hospitalised again when i call for help, maybe indefinitely, so what happens to my cats then? i live alone here, no family or friends, i'm only 20, my bf lives in leeds and i live in london, he can't come over at every minor crisis i have lol. i have automatic dry feeders but that might not be enough and also my landlord doesnt know i have cats and i have no one to take care of them. io dont know what to do or how to hurt myself in a way to not hurt my cats too because i love them but just want a fucking relief out of my own brain and mind.
no one cares either here do they. 550mg here i come i guess
to keep a long story short, i finally opened up about a guy that got me drunk and raped me. in the community we share, he has more in game ranking titles and has a better rep than me. people don't like me because i have always talked about bad people in this community and stood up to them, and now no one just gives a fuck that i got raped or is doing anything to cut him out of this shitty place.
i feel so, so disgusted and absolutely horrible. it makes me think people are saying that it's fine if he raped me, because 'it's syn after all', right? people are fucking defending him. i provided over 10 pages worth of evidence and a single tweet of his with no basis gets all the support. it feels so fucking horrible.
I want to cut and overdose, but haha I'm running low on my setraline, i could only take about 550mg right now (I take 100mg att the moment) but i worry what would happen to my cats if no one feeds them and theyr'e indoor cats, i live in a 3rd floor apartment and the only real ways out are the windows aka not safe.
i know 550mg won't kill me, or mayube it will but if the worst case happens i'd get hospitalised again when i call for help, maybe indefinitely, so what happens to my cats then? i live alone here, no family or friends, i'm only 20, my bf lives in leeds and i live in london, he can't come over at every minor crisis i have lol. i have automatic dry feeders but that might not be enough and also my landlord doesnt know i have cats and i have no one to take care of them. io dont know what to do or how to hurt myself in a way to not hurt my cats too because i love them but just want a fucking relief out of my own brain and mind.
no one cares either here do they. 550mg here i come i guess
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