My dad just beat me up again because I was upset that he's neglecting my cat

[blueming]

Spoiler: History of abuse

My parents used to beat me up all the time when I was a child. My dad was away from home a lot of the time so my mum did it most often - her preferred method of choice was kick me a few times first and then go grab a coat hanger, giving me time to run away. Then she would proceed to chase me around the house. Child me for some reason would always run and hide in the same chair in the corner of the living room, waiting for what would inevitably happen when she caught me.

When my dad beat me it was more severe. The standout instances were when he dragged me across the floor by the back of my neck and choked me, when he trod on my hand and broke my fingernail making it bleed, and a bunch of other times when he kicked me down so hard that I couldn't stand back up. There were also instances when he couldn't get to me, like when he chased me around the house with a knife. I locked myself in the living room and he smashed the knife down on the glass door so hard it cracked. Another time he chased me up to my bedroom with a hammer, I barricaded the door behind me and he bashed the door with the hammer three times. The marks on the wood are still there.

Back then I would just accept it. Afterwards I would still think my parents were good people and only hurt me for my own good, I wouldn't question it. The excuse was always "It's because we love you" and I just accepted that. No. You don't threaten to murder someone because you love them.

A lot of things have happened over the past year, too much to get into in one post. If I have enough energy I might write another post about it. But just going through the events of recent. My cat has been sick for around two weeks, throwing up white foam at first and now he has a fever that won't go away.

Spoiler: Dad's abuse towards my cat

He's actually not my cat, my dad got him last year when he came back to his home country and "felt lonely". After I came back here with my dad, I inevitably fell in love with the furball and he's the only reason I'm still here right now. My dad treats him like some thing he can just discard whenever he feels like it. When he gets mad, best case scenario is he ignores the cat for a couple of days while I take care of him. Worse case was two weeks ago, just before my cat got sick, when he got angry at the cat for meowing loudly and started to kick it. I got angry at this and told him he was a bad person for hurting an innocent animal. He then physically kicked the cat out of the house, came up to me and told me "I'm going to kill you", went to the kitchen, brought out a huge chopping knife and brandished it above my head. At that point I was ready to accept death however it came, so I wasn't even scared anymore. But I guess he still had enough sense to not turn himself into a murderer, so instead he brough the knife down onto the cat's toys, food bowls, etc. and started chopping.

I begged my dad to take him to the vet and I was only met with more death threats, until a few days ago when the cat stopped eating and drinking. Only then did he finally agree to get the cat checked out. Today my cat seemed to be feeling a bit better and was bugging us to go out. The vet told us we shouldn't let him out, but my dad got sick of his meowing again and began to insult and swear at the cat, saying he's too annoying and he doesn't want him anymore. Eventually he lets him outside. Hours pass and my cat returns in the afternoon with another obvious fever. Instead of caring for him, my dad starts to swear and shout at the cat again, saying he doesn't listen, "I told you not to go out and you still went out, garbage cat" things like that. I tried to explain to him that cats don't understand what people say, that won't change no matter how much you scream at them. He got mad and said it's causing him too much stress and he doesn't want this cat anymore. Well, you should've thought about your ability to take care of an animal before getting one just because you were lonely for a few days.

I told him the cat's obviously still sick since there's still a fever present, we need to get him help. He just said there's nothing to do and ignored me. I became exasperated and told him again that he's a bad person. He came at me and raised his hand above my head, his typical stance when threatening to beat me up. He said "I'm going to beat you to death". I turned around and simply said again, "You're a bad person." This was the last straw for him I guess, and he immediately turned around, picked up a chair and swung it above my head. "Say it again," he threatens me. I have had enough at this point. I tell him once again that he is a bad person. He still has enough sense to not make himself a murderer, so he puts down the chair and comes at me again with his hand raised, and threatens to beat me to death again. I'm done. I tell him to beat me to death. He comes at me and kicks me and strikes me across the back.

After he hit me I made a feeble attempt to kick him back in retaliation. This is the first time I've ever fought back after getting beat up, and I'm proud of it, even if it means I got beat up more in the end. I'm no longer a little kid who will just take abuse. He's 1.80m and skilled in martial arts, I'm 1.63m and struggling with anorexia. My kick did nothing whatsoever, and he just kept striking me. But the look on his face just before hitting me again, after I finally stood up for myself after 22 years... it was a look of bewilderment. Thinking about it gives me the tiniest sliver of joy, knowing how shocked he was when I decided I wasn't going to just take it anymore.

I looked around for something to defend myself with and threw a plastic can of crisps at him, then a half empty cup of Pepsi. It was then when he started thumping me on the back with all his might, knocking my breath out to the point I almost blacked out. He then pulled me by the hair and threw me up and down, up and down towards the floor and back up, all while punching me on the back, in an attempt to get me to fall down on the ground, which I did. After that I just started to scream and cry in pain. My dad just kept staring at me while I was on the floor sobbing - I had a sudden thought that he might actually kill me since he has threatened to do so many times before. Yes, I want to die, but I will not die by his hand or any other member of my family. I will die on my own terms. The only thing I could think of to do was to scream and scream, Help. He's going to kill me, help. I screamed at the top of my lungs until he got annoyed and stormed out of the house.

My back is in so much pain. My stomach hurts. I've been having mild discomfort in my chest recently which I haven't told anyone, and the thumping on my back has made my breathing feel really labored. I'm so exhausted, physically and emotionally. I haven't seen my cat since this happened and I don't know if he's hiding in fear or if my dad kicked him out again. My cat is the only reason I'm staying alive right now, I want to make sure he is safe and healthy before I leave.

Sorry for the long post and if it seemed like I was rambling through bits, I've put some non-essential details in spoilers. I'm an emotional wreck right now and in a lot of pain, this is my attempt to recall the events before they blur together with the countless other instances of abuse. If you've read up to the end, thank you.

 

[iloverachel]

That is so awful I am sorry that has happened to you.

Have you ever tried to or thought about calling the police on him? That is criminal behavior from your dad and he will surely be punished. I also understand if you do not wish to.

 

[cheese.out]

Im literally in tears right now. This sounds so awful, i can not describe how i feel rn. I feel so angry and sad at the same time. Sending you my biggest hugs possible. If you need someone to chat pls pm me

 

[moshimoshi]

No words can describe how heartbroken, horrified and enraged I feel right now. You have suffered through so much horrible abuse that you didn't deserve in the slightest. I can't even fathom how much of a nightmare that was for you and how much it has impacted your health. I want to give you the hugest hug in the world right now and take care of you. Nobody should have to go through such horrors in life. I'm beyond proud of you for still holding on despite everything, and standing up for your cat. Even though they're not technically your cat, in my eyes they are your cat :) because you've loved them and taken care of them when no one else would. I'm sure they love you so much, and you sound like such a kind and incredible person despite being mistreated so cruelly. Please let me know if you ever need anyone to talk to when you're scared and if something like that happens again. I deeply hope you get out of that situation soon and into a better one where you can heal from the abuse you've been through. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and sending love

 

[Helvete]

Get that man locked up for animal neglect :( my cat was also my source of strength

 

[hopeless08]

Spoiler: History of abuse

My parents used to beat me up all the time when I was a child. My dad was away from home a lot of the time so my mum did it most often - her preferred method of choice was kick me a few times first and then go grab a coat hanger, giving me time to run away. Then she would proceed to chase me around the house. Child me for some reason would always run and hide in the same chair in the corner of the living room, waiting for what would inevitably happen when she caught me.

When my dad beat me it was more severe. The standout instances were when he dragged me across the floor by the back of my neck and choked me, when he trod on my hand and broke my fingernail making it bleed, and a bunch of other times when he kicked me down so hard that I couldn't stand back up. There were also instances when he couldn't get to me, like when he chased me around the house with a knife. I locked myself in the living room and he smashed the knife down on the glass door so hard it cracked. Another time he chased me up to my bedroom with a hammer, I barricaded the door behind me and he bashed the door with the hammer three times. The marks on the wood are still there.

Back then I would just accept it. Afterwards I would still think my parents were good people and only hurt me for my own good, I wouldn't question it. The excuse was always "It's because we love you" and I just accepted that. No. You don't threaten to murder someone because you love them.

A lot of things have happened over the past year, too much to get into in one post. If I have enough energy I might write another post about it. But just going through the events of recent. My cat has been sick for around two weeks, throwing up white foam at first and now he has a fever that won't go away.

Spoiler: Dad's abuse towards my cat

He's actually not my cat, my dad got him last year when he came back to his home country and "felt lonely". After I came back here with my dad, I inevitably fell in love with the furball and he's the only reason I'm still here right now. My dad treats him like some thing he can just discard whenever he feels like it. When he gets mad, best case scenario is he ignores the cat for a couple of days while I take care of him. Worse case was two weeks ago, just before my cat got sick, when he got angry at the cat for meowing loudly and started to kick it. I got angry at this and told him he was a bad person for hurting an innocent animal. He then physically kicked the cat out of the house, came up to me and told me "I'm going to kill you", went to the kitchen, brought out a huge chopping knife and brandished it above my head. At that point I was ready to accept death however it came, so I wasn't even scared anymore. But I guess he still had enough sense to not turn himself into a murderer, so instead he brough the knife down onto the cat's toys, food bowls, etc. and started chopping.

I begged my dad to take him to the vet and I was only met with more death threats, until a few days ago when the cat stopped eating and drinking. Only then did he finally agree to get the cat checked out. Today my cat seemed to be feeling a bit better and was bugging us to go out. The vet told us we shouldn't let him out, but my dad got sick of his meowing again and began to insult and swear at the cat, saying he's too annoying and he doesn't want him anymore. Eventually he lets him outside. Hours pass and my cat returns in the afternoon with another obvious fever. Instead of caring for him, my dad starts to swear and shout at the cat again, saying he doesn't listen, "I told you not to go out and you still went out, garbage cat" things like that. I tried to explain to him that cats don't understand what people say, that won't change no matter how much you scream at them. He got mad and said it's causing him too much stress and he doesn't want this cat anymore. Well, you should've thought about your ability to take care of an animal before getting one just because you were lonely for a few days.

I told him the cat's obviously still sick since there's still a fever present, we need to get him help. He just said there's nothing to do and ignored me. I became exasperated and told him again that he's a bad person. He came at me and raised his hand above my head, his typical stance when threatening to beat me up. He said "I'm going to beat you to death". I turned around and simply said again, "You're a bad person." This was the last straw for him I guess, and he immediately turned around, picked up a chair and swung it above my head. "Say it again," he threatens me. I have had enough at this point. I tell him once again that he is a bad person. He still has enough sense to not make himself a murderer, so he puts down the chair and comes at me again with his hand raised, and threatens to beat me to death again. I'm done. I tell him to beat me to death. He comes at me and kicks me and strikes me across the back.

After he hit me I made a feeble attempt to kick him back in retaliation. This is the first time I've ever fought back after getting beat up, and I'm proud of it, even if it means I got beat up more in the end. I'm no longer a little kid who will just take abuse. He's 1.80m and skilled in martial arts, I'm 1.63m and struggling with anorexia. My kick did nothing whatsoever, and he just kept striking me. But the look on his face just before hitting me again, after I finally stood up for myself after 22 years... it was a look of bewilderment. Thinking about it gives me the tiniest sliver of joy, knowing how shocked he was when I decided I wasn't going to just take it anymore.

I looked around for something to defend myself with and threw a plastic can of crisps at him, then a half empty cup of Pepsi. It was then when he started thumping me on the back with all his might, knocking my breath out to the point I almost blacked out. He then pulled me by the hair and threw me up and down, up and down towards the floor and back up, all while punching me on the back, in an attempt to get me to fall down on the ground, which I did. After that I just started to scream and cry in pain. My dad just kept staring at me while I was on the floor sobbing - I had a sudden thought that he might actually kill me since he has threatened to do so many times before. Yes, I want to die, but I will not die by his hand or any other member of my family. I will die on my own terms. The only thing I could think of to do was to scream and scream, Help. He's going to kill me, help. I screamed at the top of my lungs until he got annoyed and stormed out of the house.

My back is in so much pain. My stomach hurts. I've been having mild discomfort in my chest recently which I haven't told anyone, and the thumping on my back has made my breathing feel really labored. I'm so exhausted, physically and emotionally. I haven't seen my cat since this happened and I don't know if he's hiding in fear or if my dad kicked him out again. My cat is the only reason I'm staying alive right now, I want to make sure he is safe and healthy before I leave.

Sorry for the long post and if it seemed like I was rambling through bits, I've put some non-essential details in spoilers. I'm an emotional wreck right now and in a lot of pain, this is my attempt to recall the events before they blur together with the countless other instances of abuse. If you've read up to the end, thank you.

Wow I'm bawling and so angry at the same time. I can't believe you are enduring all this pain a horrific abuse. I really wish I could rescue you and just give you a huge hug which you so desperately need. I don't know what to do or say except that you are an exceptional human being and so strong.
I'm glad you stood up to him but heartbroken that it caused him to beat you more. Do you live alone with him and have you ever thought about going to the police, they'll definitely believe you as I'm sure you have all kinds of injuries.please pm anytime you're scared feel lonely Or just want to talk to someone. Know that we are all here for you anytime and that you're loved, you're never alone. I'm so sorry I wish I could do more.
I want your dad to be tortured that what he deserve, he needs to pay the ultimate price for this and I hope he does. Keep us updated

 

[blueming]

That is so awful I am sorry that has happened to you.

Have you ever tried to or thought about calling the police on him? That is criminal behavior from your dad and he will surely be punished. I also understand if you do not wish to.

I haven't even considered that because both my parents have made it clear in that situation they would make it seem like I was just a mentally ill person with delusional thoughts, and they have my years of depression and suicide attempts as "evidence". There was a situation with the police recently where exactly that happened. Moreover, I tried telling the police about my mum's abuse when I was 11 years old, however what resulted in that was social workers calling me a liar because I wasn't visibly beaten "black-and-blue" and years of trauma afterwards.

Im literally in tears right now. This sounds so awful, i can not describe how i feel rn. I feel so angry and sad at the same time. Sending you my biggest hugs possible. If you need someone to chat pls pm me

Thank you so much

No words can describe how heartbroken, horrified and enraged I feel right now. You have suffered through so much horrible abuse that you didn't deserve in the slightest. I can't even fathom how much of a nightmare that was for you and how much it has impacted your health. I want to give you the hugest hug in the world right now and take care of you. Nobody should have to go through such horrors in life. I'm beyond proud of you for still holding on despite everything, and standing up for your cat. Even though they're not technically your cat, in my eyes they are your cat :) because you've loved them and taken care of them when no one else would. I'm sure they love you so much, and you sound like such a kind and incredible person despite being mistreated so cruelly. Please let me know if you ever need anyone to talk to when you're scared and if something like that happens again. I deeply hope you get out of that situation soon and into a better one where you can heal from the abuse you've been through. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and sending love

I'm so touched by your message, thank you so muchHonestly I'm so used to this that I don't even feel scared anymore, my biggest worry right now is my cat. I can't find him anywhere so I have to assume the worst that my dad has kicked him out again. He was still running a fever just before everything happened so I'm praying that he's okay.

 

[hopeless08]

Wow I'm bawling and so angry at the same time. I can't believe you are enduring all this pain a horrific abuse. I really wish I could rescue you and just give you a huge hug which you so desperately need. I don't know what to do or say except that you are an exceptional human being and so strong.
I'm glad you stood up to him but heartbroken that it caused him to beat you more. Do you live alone with him and have you ever thought about going to the police, they'll definitely believe you as I'm sure you have all kinds of injuries.please pm anytime you're scared feel lonely Or just want to talk to someone. Know that we are all here for you anytime and that you're loved, you're never alone. I'm so sorry I wish I could do more.
I want your dad to be tortured that what he deserve, he needs to pay the ultimate price for this and I hope he does. Keep us updated

Are you able to take your cat to the vet on your own or does your dad support you financially? Let me know I really want to help in any way possible

 

[blueming]

Wow I'm bawling and so angry at the same time. I can't believe you are enduring all this pain a horrific abuse. I really wish I could rescue you and just give you a huge hug which you so desperately need. I don't know what to do or say except that you are an exceptional human being and so strong.
I'm glad you stood up to him but heartbroken that it caused him to beat you more. Do you live alone with him and have you ever thought about going to the police, they'll definitely believe you as I'm sure you have all kinds of injuries.please pm anytime you're scared feel lonely Or just want to talk to someone. Know that we are all here for you anytime and that you're loved, you're never alone. I'm so sorry I wish I could do more.
I want your dad to be tortured that what he deserve, he needs to pay the ultimate price for this and I hope he does. Keep us updated

Are you able to take your cat to the vet on your own or does your dad support you financially? Let me know I really want to help in any way possible

Thank you for your kind words I've lived in the UK my entire life, but due to some issues last year I decided to temporarily go to my dad's home country with him, it's where I am now and where my cat is. Over here I am definitely financially dependent on him and he knows it. I don't have any credit cards, physical money or identification for this country which is essential for basic things like public transport, buying food, and most importantly paying for vet services which means I can't take my cat to the vet by myself.

 

[pinkydrinky]

Spoiler: History of abuse

My parents used to beat me up all the time when I was a child. My dad was away from home a lot of the time so my mum did it most often - her preferred method of choice was kick me a few times first and then go grab a coat hanger, giving me time to run away. Then she would proceed to chase me around the house. Child me for some reason would always run and hide in the same chair in the corner of the living room, waiting for what would inevitably happen when she caught me.

When my dad beat me it was more severe. The standout instances were when he dragged me across the floor by the back of my neck and choked me, when he trod on my hand and broke my fingernail making it bleed, and a bunch of other times when he kicked me down so hard that I couldn't stand back up. There were also instances when he couldn't get to me, like when he chased me around the house with a knife. I locked myself in the living room and he smashed the knife down on the glass door so hard it cracked. Another time he chased me up to my bedroom with a hammer, I barricaded the door behind me and he bashed the door with the hammer three times. The marks on the wood are still there.

Back then I would just accept it. Afterwards I would still think my parents were good people and only hurt me for my own good, I wouldn't question it. The excuse was always "It's because we love you" and I just accepted that. No. You don't threaten to murder someone because you love them.

A lot of things have happened over the past year, too much to get into in one post. If I have enough energy I might write another post about it. But just going through the events of recent. My cat has been sick for around two weeks, throwing up white foam at first and now he has a fever that won't go away.

Spoiler: Dad's abuse towards my cat

He's actually not my cat, my dad got him last year when he came back to his home country and "felt lonely". After I came back here with my dad, I inevitably fell in love with the furball and he's the only reason I'm still here right now. My dad treats him like some thing he can just discard whenever he feels like it. When he gets mad, best case scenario is he ignores the cat for a couple of days while I take care of him. Worse case was two weeks ago, just before my cat got sick, when he got angry at the cat for meowing loudly and started to kick it. I got angry at this and told him he was a bad person for hurting an innocent animal. He then physically kicked the cat out of the house, came up to me and told me "I'm going to kill you", went to the kitchen, brought out a huge chopping knife and brandished it above my head. At that point I was ready to accept death however it came, so I wasn't even scared anymore. But I guess he still had enough sense to not turn himself into a murderer, so instead he brough the knife down onto the cat's toys, food bowls, etc. and started chopping.

I begged my dad to take him to the vet and I was only met with more death threats, until a few days ago when the cat stopped eating and drinking. Only then did he finally agree to get the cat checked out. Today my cat seemed to be feeling a bit better and was bugging us to go out. The vet told us we shouldn't let him out, but my dad got sick of his meowing again and began to insult and swear at the cat, saying he's too annoying and he doesn't want him anymore. Eventually he lets him outside. Hours pass and my cat returns in the afternoon with another obvious fever. Instead of caring for him, my dad starts to swear and shout at the cat again, saying he doesn't listen, "I told you not to go out and you still went out, garbage cat" things like that. I tried to explain to him that cats don't understand what people say, that won't change no matter how much you scream at them. He got mad and said it's causing him too much stress and he doesn't want this cat anymore. Well, you should've thought about your ability to take care of an animal before getting one just because you were lonely for a few days.

I told him the cat's obviously still sick since there's still a fever present, we need to get him help. He just said there's nothing to do and ignored me. I became exasperated and told him again that he's a bad person. He came at me and raised his hand above my head, his typical stance when threatening to beat me up. He said "I'm going to beat you to death". I turned around and simply said again, "You're a bad person." This was the last straw for him I guess, and he immediately turned around, picked up a chair and swung it above my head. "Say it again," he threatens me. I have had enough at this point. I tell him once again that he is a bad person. He still has enough sense to not make himself a murderer, so he puts down the chair and comes at me again with his hand raised, and threatens to beat me to death again. I'm done. I tell him to beat me to death. He comes at me and kicks me and strikes me across the back.

After he hit me I made a feeble attempt to kick him back in retaliation. This is the first time I've ever fought back after getting beat up, and I'm proud of it, even if it means I got beat up more in the end. I'm no longer a little kid who will just take abuse. He's 1.80m and skilled in martial arts, I'm 1.63m and struggling with anorexia. My kick did nothing whatsoever, and he just kept striking me. But the look on his face just before hitting me again, after I finally stood up for myself after 22 years... it was a look of bewilderment. Thinking about it gives me the tiniest sliver of joy, knowing how shocked he was when I decided I wasn't going to just take it anymore.

I looked around for something to defend myself with and threw a plastic can of crisps at him, then a half empty cup of Pepsi. It was then when he started thumping me on the back with all his might, knocking my breath out to the point I almost blacked out. He then pulled me by the hair and threw me up and down, up and down towards the floor and back up, all while punching me on the back, in an attempt to get me to fall down on the ground, which I did. After that I just started to scream and cry in pain. My dad just kept staring at me while I was on the floor sobbing - I had a sudden thought that he might actually kill me since he has threatened to do so many times before. Yes, I want to die, but I will not die by his hand or any other member of my family. I will die on my own terms. The only thing I could think of to do was to scream and scream, Help. He's going to kill me, help. I screamed at the top of my lungs until he got annoyed and stormed out of the house.

My back is in so much pain. My stomach hurts. I've been having mild discomfort in my chest recently which I haven't told anyone, and the thumping on my back has made my breathing feel really labored. I'm so exhausted, physically and emotionally. I haven't seen my cat since this happened and I don't know if he's hiding in fear or if my dad kicked him out again. My cat is the only reason I'm staying alive right now, I want to make sure he is safe and healthy before I leave.

Sorry for the long post and if it seemed like I was rambling through bits, I've put some non-essential details in spoilers. I'm an emotional wreck right now and in a lot of pain, this is my attempt to recall the events before they blur together with the countless other instances of abuse. If you've read up to the end, thank you.

holy shit. dude you're strong as fuck and your dads a shithead

 

[hopeless08]

Thank you for your kind words I've lived in the UK my entire life, but due to some issues last year I decided to temporarily go to my dad's home country with him, it's where I am now and where my cat is. Over here I am definitely financially dependent on him and he knows it. I don't have any credit cards, physical money or identification for this country which is essential for basic things like public transport, buying food, and most importantly paying for vet services which means I can't take my cat to the vet by myself.

So if you don't have any identification does that mean you are not able to even receive money?

So if you don't have any identification does that mean you are not able to even receive money

 

[LunarLight]

I'm so, so, so sorry. Your dad is an utter asshole. I have no words.

 

[Kit1]

I am so sorry that you are being abused - that visit painful, immoral, illegal anf inhumane. Is there any easy you can return to the UK? You will be safer back here. Also is there someone else who can adopt the cat there - someone who cares?

 

[exiled]

My heart is so absolutely broken reading this post, and it's brought me to tears. We have a surprisingly similar story and if you need a friend to talk to outside of here, I am more than happy to share my Discord tag or any other form of communication. I'm here if you need someone to talk to or process. I want to help however I can.

 

[Tesha]

You don't deserve what that excuse of a man has done to you, or your cat. Do you have any other family members close by that you could stay with or ask for help?

This is heartbreaking to read, but not your fault. None of this is your fault.

 

[blueming]

So if you don't have any identification does that mean you are not able to even receive money?

Yes that's right, I only have access to my UK credit cards which I can't use here.

I am so sorry that you are being abused - that visit painful, immoral, illegal anf inhumane. Is there any easy you can return to the UK? You will be safer back here. Also is there someone else who can adopt the cat there - someone who cares?

Unfortunately I don't know anyone who would genuinely care for my cat over here. My plan was to try and bring him back with me to the UK, but he would need all sorts of vaccinations and certificates and I have no idea how to get those on my own :( Also if I go back I'll have to deal with my mum who has been abusive in a whole different way, so I feel very trapped right now.

My heart is so absolutely broken reading this post, and it's brought me to tears. We have a surprisingly similar story and if you need a friend to talk to outside of here, I am more than happy to share my Discord tag or any other form of communication. I'm here if you need someone to talk to or process. I want to help however I can.

Thank you so much for the offer I'll definitely take you up on your offer when I've somewhat recovered from today <3

You don't deserve what that excuse of a man has done to you, or your cat. Do you have any other family members close by that you could stay with or ask for help?

This is heartbreaking to read, but not your fault. None of this is your fault.

Thank you for saying that, I really needed to hear that. I've been told for so long that all the pain inflicted on me is justified and my fault. A small part of me still believes that, but it feels like a weight lifted to hear that it's not

As for other family members, I only have my aunt and I already tried asking her for help. I detailed all the death threats made towards me and the way he's been treating the cat, etc. Her response was that it's okay because in the end we're still father and daughter and "the closest family", and that there was no right or wrong in this situation. I decided to cut her off after that.

 

[hopeless08]

Yes that's right, I only have access to my UK credit cards which I can't use here.


Unfortunately I don't know anyone who would genuinely care for my cat over here. My plan was to try and bring him back with me to the UK, but he would need all sorts of vaccinations and certificates and I have no idea how to get those on my own :( Also if I go back I'll have to deal with my mum who has been abusive in a whole different way, so I feel very trapped right now.


Thank you so much for the offer I'll definitely take you up on your offer when I've somewhat recovered from today <3


Thank you for saying that, I really needed to hear that. I've been told for so long that all the pain inflicted on me is justified and my fault. A small part of me still believes that, but it feels like a weight lifted to hear that it's not

As for other family members, I only have my aunt and I already tried asking her for help. I detailed all the death threats made towards me and the way he's been treating the cat, etc. Her response was that it's okay because in the end we're still father and daughter and "the closest family", and that there was no right or wrong in this situation. I decided to cut her off after that.

I'm sorry I don't want to be intrusive or bring up bad memories but you say you can't go back to the UK because of your mother but has her abuse been worse than your fathers, I'm just asking to see if you'd be better off with your mother.
And it's infuriating to me that the authorities didn't believe you, unfortunately this happens way too often that they either turn their heads or just don't take the time to investigate.

 

[Ernest1964]

I mean no offense by stating what I'm about to state, I DO have a Master's Degree in Counseling and a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and Education so... Take this for what it may be worth, though it is not pretty, but something to think about:

First of all, Is the cat male or female?

It is possible that your father is sublimating his feelings for you, on to the cat? If I were your therapist I would have several sessions exploring with you the relationship between you and your father. To sublimate means to substitute one socially unacceptable thing with a different less socially objectionable thing. For example, A father is angry with the child but knows that it is not healthy or acceptable to berate the child, but then complains about the family pet instead.

Just my two cents worth, and I may be TOTALLY 100% out in left field.

Either way, I wish you well, and again no offense intended.

- Ernest1964

 

[myopia]

Oh my god, this is horrific. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, I cannot even imagine. I know how difficult it is to fight back in situations like this, and you deserve to feel extremely proud of yourself for doing so. And I hope you know that so many of us on here, even if we don't know you personally, are incredibly proud of you too.

 

[Justnotme]

I'm just in shock... And I'm very angry at your father.
You are a caring empathizer, you are an elf who grew up in an orc family.
I'm sorry, you might hate me for talking about your father like that.
But in your case, the father is just biology. You have no spiritual connection with him, as far as I understand

1. Could you give your cat to one of your friends for a while?
I know it's hard, but it's going to be a lot harder for you if your cat doesn't come back one day or if your father cripples him.

2. Is there anyone in the family to whom you could tell about your father?
It doesn't have to match.
He's going to make fun of you. I'm sorry, but you can't feel sorry for him in these situations.
If you have relatives, don't tell them that your father is a wonderful dandelion. Tell them the whole truth. He deserved it.
He is mentally ill. Sorry. But you have to tell them about it.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

what country are you currently in? Spain will crucify animal abusers (especially for cats/dogs) as the laws as so overboard its changed the culture. I won't describe your dad but he's absolute filth.

 

[Kit1]

If you decide to return to the UK, there is help available and you don't have to return to live with your mum or dad. Uou could reachboht to the British Embassy in the country you are in to support you to bring you back. As for your cat, are you able to contact t a charity that will take care of your cat and look after the cat?

 

[blueming]

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this post and for the kind replies I started crying again reading them because I didn't expect anyone to care about what's happening. My back is absolutely killing me so I'm going to try to rest, I'll reply to everyone else when I'm back.

 

[casual_existence]

I hope things improve for you. I'd say that trying the embassy is your best bet especially if you're old enough. I'm this close to crying but not because I imagine it being hard but because I lived something similar. Kinda ran out of tears some time ago lol.

 

[divinemistress36]

I'm so sorry . please take pictures of your injuries and document what happened and if he tries this shit again break out your phone and video tape it if you can . Get as much evidence of his abuse as possible to get his ass put in jail

 

[blueming]

Update:

My cat came back with this giant bleeding gash from the middle of his back down to his tail. He was literally dripping little droplets of blood everywhere he walked and then I think he also vomited a larger puddle of blood. I was terrified and immediately woke up my dad and told him about it, thankfully all the blood freaked him out too and after a bit of nagging, he agreed to take him to the vet. The vet checked him out and found that he had multiple deep bite wounds, old and new, across his back, as well as his stomach, that were already infected and dripping with blood and pus. She said that the new gash was most likely from a dog.

This part is so difficult for me to write down. Since the wounds were already infected and dripping with pus, they couldn't perform surgery to close the wound on him yet as they needed to treat the infection first and wash out the pus. To do this, she had to make an incision underneath his skin where the pocket of pus was and insert a tube connected to a syringe underneath where she could pump some kind of solution in to clean it out. (I might not be describing the entire process correctly since I'm not a vet, this is just what I remember seeing.) She said it would hurt him, he had to be awake the entire time, and fuck did it hurt him. I had never seen my cat in that kind of pain before, thrashing and yowling and when he looked at me I felt like he was begging me to tell them to stop. The vet had to repeat this process multiple times, it honestly felt endless, near the end my cat peed himself because he was so frightened and in so much pain. By the end I was a sobbing mess, all I could do was whisper to him I'm sorry I'm sorry over and over again. I felt like I was letting them torture him. We have to go back everyday and repeat the process until he's ready for surgery.

The thing is, all this could've been prevented. Months ago when I first came here with my dad, my cat was already getting bitten by the other neighborhood cats and there were multiple wounds and scabs and swelling etc. At that time I already asked my dad to take him to the vet to see if the wounds were serious, but he laughed it off and said that it's not a big deal because he's a "wild" cat and is used to getting bitten. (He's only "wild" because my dad never bothered to train him when he was younger and just let him roam about outside whenever, so yeah of course he's used to being "wild" now. But now my dad acts like it's somehow the cat's fault for being a cat and often talks about him being "wild" in a derogatory way.)

Every time I asked him to take the cat to the vet, for months, he got mad at me for "lecturing" him and it always ended up in a huge fight. If he had listened to me and took him to see the vet before, the bite wounds would not have gotten this infected, the situation would not be this serious and there would be no need to put my cat in so much pain. And if he had fucking listened to the vet and stopped letting him outside while he was still sick, he wouldn't have gotten this new dog bite. I'm so fucking angry and sad and angry, and sorry towards my cat.

 

[exiled]

Update:

My cat came back with this giant bleeding gash from the middle of his back down to his tail. He was literally dripping little droplets of blood everywhere he walked and then I think he also vomited a larger puddle of blood. I was terrified and immediately woke up my dad and told him about it, thankfully all the blood freaked him out too and after a bit of nagging, he agreed to take him to the vet. The vet checked him out and found that he had multiple deep bite wounds, old and new, across his back, as well as his stomach, that were already infected and dripping with blood and pus. She said that the new gash was most likely from a dog.

This part is so difficult for me to write down. Since the wounds were already infected and dripping with pus, they couldn't perform surgery to close the wound on him yet as they needed to treat the infection first and wash out the pus. To do this, she had to make an incision underneath his skin where the pocket of pus was and insert a tube connected to a syringe underneath where she could pump some kind of solution in to clean it out. (I might not be describing the entire process correctly since I'm not a vet, this is just what I remember seeing.) She said it would hurt him, he had to be awake the entire time, and fuck did it hurt him. I had never seen my cat in that kind of pain before, thrashing and yowling and when he looked at me I felt like he was begging me to tell them to stop. The vet had to repeat this process multiple times, it honestly felt endless, near the end my cat peed himself because he was so frightened and in so much pain. By the end I was a sobbing mess, all I could do was whisper to him I'm sorry I'm sorry over and over again. I felt like I was letting them torture him. We have to go back everyday and repeat the process until he's ready for surgery.

The thing is, all this could've been prevented. Months ago when I first came here with my dad, my cat was already getting bitten by the other neighborhood cats and there were multiple wounds and scabs and swelling etc. At that time I already asked my dad to take him to the vet to see if the wounds were serious, but he laughed it off and said that it's not a big deal because he's a "wild" cat and is used to getting bitten. (He's only "wild" because my dad never bothered to train him when he was younger and just let him roam about outside whenever, so yeah of course he's used to being "wild" now. But now my dad acts like it's somehow the cat's fault for being a cat and often talks about him being "wild" in a derogatory way.)

Every time I asked him to take the cat to the vet, for months, he got mad at me for "lecturing" him and it always ended up in a huge fight. If he had listened to me and took him to see the vet before, the bite wounds would not have gotten this infected, the situation would not be this serious and there would be no need to put my cat in so much pain. And if he had fucking listened to the vet and stopped letting him outside while he was still sick, he wouldn't have gotten this new dog bite. I'm so fucking angry and sad and angry, and sorry towards my cat.

My words could never do justice to how immensely sorry I am that this all happened. Your father is a categorically evil human being and I am devastated that you have had to endure so much by his hand. Your poor cat must know deep down inside how much you care for him, and that you are not the one hurting him. I wish there was something I could do to help. I know from the internet I am essentially useless but please know you can talk to me at any time. This is just about the most abhorrent behavior a person can present.

 

[LunarLight]

What a jerk your father is... please do something, your cat is not gonna live long if he stays at your father's place.

 

[narayana0121]

Your dad is a shit person and is gonna rot in hell for eternity. I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. I hope your cat gets better

 

[alltoomuch2]

I'm in tears hearing about the undeserved beatings from your shit of a father. I don't know at all if these people can help to get your cat to the uk (and then you could follow) but perhaps you could contact them and explain? https://www.four-paws.org.uk/about-us/contact