I tried to make friends and had the police at my flat because of it!

[Chinaski]

Tbf the mods have now moved this thread to off topic, hopefully this will allay any potential criticism about a sluggish reaction.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Also- take her pic out of your post. Why would you think that's acceptable?

That's awful, doxxing someone's photo and name whether intentional or not.

So was the age difference significantly more than "a couple of years"? Mtg is in their 50s iirc. Most netball players are probably young women, and they could be as young as 16 or younger, it's a sport played by teenagers in secondary school. Also why did he join a club that is predominated by young women? That's a rhetorical question.

I knew all/most of the above about him before, and I'd mentioned concerns about them to a moderator in the past. There's a lot of posts here, essentially I think we're either not getting the full story, and/or that they're excercising self-deception. I don't think what happened in the OP is a full and honest account by our standards.

There's quite a few things they've done where they don't see what they've done wrong, but have been enough to get them banned from various places, which they insisted on revisiting regardless. It seems like people have been extraordinarily patient with them IRL so far.

The DMs revealed by Jeremy were disgusting and creepy. They kept going on about their age, size "how little they were" and insinuating sexual things. They wanted to "hire" them as a live-in maid, and they were posing as a very young woman.

Come on man... How many times must you get the same message before it sinks in. Why don't you try football or something instead of a sport dominated by young women. Young women don't want to be your friend. Period. The police being called should be a wake up call for you. You're either lying to us or, more likely, lying to yourself. Just stop already.

This. It's dishonest or self-deception.

 

[Idkaho2]

Come on man... How many times must you get the same message before it sinks in. Why don't you try football or something instead of a sport dominated by young women. Young women don't want to be your friend. Period. The police being called should be a wake up call for you. You're either lying to us or, more likely, lying to yourself. Just stop already.

I'm remiss not adding that to my original post. Young women don't want to be friends with you, they more than likely just see you as some random pervert.

 

[Someone123]

On Friday afternoon I had the police at my flat, saying I'd contacted someone at the netball club I joined recently saying I was interested in making friends with her, and asking me not to contact her again. The only person I've contacted is Christina, who was interested enough to reply to the first of the 2 messages I wrote to her. Is there something wrong with offering someone my friendship? What I'd said was perfectly harmless; I'd just asked her how long she'd been playing netball and things.

If she doesn't want to get to know me before deciding she doesn't like me, I don't see why she has to get the police involved!

Then on Saturday, I got an e-mail from Netball Scotland saying my membership of Netball Scotland has been suspended. They didn't make it clear what that actually means or why. I don't know what's going on! They were even less informative than the police the day before. I don't know whether this is related to Christina or not, they didn't mention it; I can't see what else it could be about!

I don't even know whether to go to play netball tonight now. I'll probably go; I'm scared they'll tell me I can't play though.

There was likely something about the way you approached her that seemed unusual to her. Usually people don't directly ask for friendship, they just chat a little and get to know someone a little and then if they warm up to you then it grows from there. If you just went up to a girl you don't know, or messaged someone you don't know well, especially if she is quite attractive and quite a bit younger, and say you want to be friends that could set off alarm bells. It's in the details- you need to get to know people gradually and carefully and within social norms. I think asking for friendship is very unusual, people don't usually do this, if you gradually chat over time and get to know each other friendship can happen. I think if you go you will be asked to leave- something about how you approached her must have been outside social norms to set off these alarm bells.

 

[Dot]

@Marktheghost hs bn bannd & wll nt necssrly C respnses n.e.mre unlss h/ = viewng SaSu as gust

 

[emgrl]

That's awful, doxxing someone's photo and name whether intentional or not.

So was the age difference significantly more than "a couple of years"? Mtg is in their 50s iirc. Most netball players are probably young women, and they could be as young as 16 or younger, it's a sport played by teenagers in secondary school. Also why did he join a club that is predominated by young women? That's a rhetorical question.

I knew all/most of the above about him before, and I'd mentioned concerns about them to a moderator in the past. There's a lot of posts here, essentially I think we're either not getting the full story, and/or that they're excercising self-deception. I don't think what happened in the OP is a full and honest account by our standards.

There's quite a few things they've done where they don't see what they've done wrong, but have been enough to get them banned from various places, which they insisted on revisiting regardless. It seems like people have been extraordinarily patient with them IRL so far.

The DMs revealed by Jeremy were disgusting and creepy. They kept going on about their age, size "how little they were" and insinuating sexual things. They wanted to "hire" them as a live-in maid, and they were posing as a very young woman.

This. It's dishonest or self-deception.

Yes, there was a significant age difference, the girl was in her 20s, possibly very early 30s, but I doubt that.

He's finally gone now, a part of me feels bad because this is a safe place for us all to come and escape reality, and he doesn't have that anymore. But, he made this place creepy at times, and to be able to make so many people that uncomfortable, being banned seemed inevitable.

All I know is, the messages he sent me were so incredibly odd. It didn't come across as Asperger's at first. And now that I know he's on the spectrum, it doesn't make it any better, considering he had been given plenty of advice to not behave like that.

Having a disease like that doesn't give anyone the right to go around acting on their inappropriate impulses. There's no excuse for that disgusting behavior.

 

[Someone123]

Yes, there was a significant age difference, the girl was in her 20s, possibly very early 30s, but I doubt that.

He's finally gone now, a part of me feels bad because this is a safe place for us all to come and escape reality, and he doesn't have that anymore. But, he made this place creepy at times, and to be able to make so many people that uncomfortable, being banned seemed inevitable.

All I know is, the messages he sent me were so incredibly odd. It didn't come across as Asperger's at first. And now that I know he's on the spectrum, it doesn't make it any better, considering he had been given plenty of advice to not behave like that.

Having a disease like that doesn't give anyone the right to go around acting on their inappropriate impulses. There's no excuse for that disgusting behavior.

He appears to not understand how to get to know a girl in a normal way, it may be due to autism as he has mentioned. STill certain things he did raised aslarm bells, and then posting that person's personal information was apparently the last straw. He said he needs help in how to approach women- he doesn't really seem to learn well from advice, so maybe some good advice, if he can afford it, would be to hire a dating coach/matchmaker- he says he keeps asking for advice, maybe this would help. But the post about strangling is so bad that it may be that therapy would be needed along withg this. I hope he can find a way to get his life to be better.

 

[Life_and_Death]

@Marktheghost hs bn bannd & wll nt necssrly C respnses n.e.mre unlss h/ = viewng SaSu as gust

it saddens me that hes gone. it makes me wonder where honest people like him and another recent one (i cant remember the name but they were under age) go after being turned away from here. i hope theyre able to find an understanding place. i know i personally probably wouldnt bother.

 

[emgrl]

He appears to not understand how to get to know a girl in a normal way, it may be due to autism as he has mentioned. STill certain things he did raised aslarm bells, and then posting that person's personal information was apparently the last straw. He said he needs help in how to approach women- he doesn't really seem to learn well from advice, so maybe some good advice, if he can afford it, would be to hire a dating coach/matchmaker- he says he keeps asking for advice, maybe this would help. But the post about strangling is so bad that it may be that therapy would be needed along withg this. I hope he can find a way to get his life to be better.

I just went back and read through the messages he sent. This is actually the one that made me stop responding:


He clearly has a problem, and, I really don't think it's autism.

 

[Someone123]

e clearly has a problem, and, I really don't think it's autism.

Whatever problem he has, it seems like social awkwardness to the extreme, which sometimes can get worse than that. Most of it is trying to connect, but he doesn't know how- he doesn't realize how odd and off-putting this is. The alcohool part sounds true, but why would you tell someone that- it makes you seem unbalanced- you would onloy tell this to somone you know very well. The ghost thing seems to be an attempt at humor, though it is very odd. The mails thing shows the same issue- tryin to connnect but not knowing how to do this within soicla norms. Since he is in his fifties, can he really learn this now? It would take a lot of help to have any chance with this. Then he gets into some semi normal conversation before asking way too personal of infomration, asking for a person's age up front- and especially their birthday- wqhy do this, this information can be used to try to stalk someone. I personally would not be surprised if some combination of autism.aspergers was a key source of his difficulties, but it's a matter of opinion. He had to be banned though, there was no choice after some of what he sent/posted.

 

[hamvil]

I just went back and read through the messages he sent. This is actually the one that made me stop responding:
View attachment 98935
View attachment 98936
He clearly has a problem, and, I really don't think it's autism.

Cannot really tell if he is legit or not. Legit meaning that he does not realise how creepy he sounds or if he is playing. I lean towards the former but I am not sure.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Possibly. She's a few years younger than me. If that's a problem, we live in a crazy society though.

Yes, there was a significant age difference, the girl was in her 20s, possibly very early 30s, but I doubt that.

Thanks for answering. I suspected as much. So we know that when he said she was a few years younger, that was dishonest. 20s vs 50s is more than a few. He was specifically interested in your age too :(

I don't think it's autism either.

 

[emgrl]

Whatever problem he has, it seems like social awkwardness to the extreme, which sometimes can get worse than that. Most of it is trying to connect, but he doesn't know how- he doesn't realize how odd and off-putting this is. The alcohool part sounds true, but why would you tell someone that- it makes you seem unbalanced- you would onloy tell this to somone you know very well. The ghost thing seems to be an attempt at humor, though it is very odd. The mails thing shows the same issue- tryin to connnect but not knowing how to do this within soicla norms. Since he is in his fifties, can he really learn this now? It would take a lot of help to have any chance with this. Then he gets into some semi normal conversation before asking way too personal of infomration, asking for a person's age up front- and especially their birthday- wqhy do this, this information can be used to try to stalk someone. I personally would not be surprised if some combination of autism.aspergers was a key source of his difficulties, but it's a matter of opinion. He had to be banned though, there was no choice after some of what he sent/posted.

He reminds me of Lenny from "Of Mice and Men". But instead of really being a gentle giant that didn't know any better like Lenny, he knows better. He has the cognitive ability to adjust his behavior.

That whole "drunk" part was because he told me he was already dead, and he now haunts people. I'm thinking the whole drunk part is true, and he did something incredibly idiotic that led to him being ousted from yet another group. How this man isn't locked up somewhere by now is beyond me. We only see a fraction of what truly goes on in his life, too. This is the message:

Whatever problem he has, it seems like social awkwardness to the extreme, which sometimes can get worse than that. Most of it is trying to connect, but he doesn't know how- he doesn't realize how odd and off-putting this is. The alcohool part sounds true, but why would you tell someone that- it makes you seem unbalanced- you would onloy tell this to somone you know very well. The ghost thing seems to be an attempt at humor, though it is very odd. The mails thing shows the same issue- tryin to connnect but not knowing how to do this within soicla norms. Since he is in his fifties, can he really learn this now? It would take a lot of help to have any chance with this. Then he gets into some semi normal conversation before asking way too personal of infomration, asking for a person's age up front- and especially their birthday- wqhy do this, this information can be used to try to stalk someone. I personally would not be surprised if some combination of autism.aspergers was a key source of his difficulties, but it's a matter of opinion. He had to be banned though, there was no choice after some of what he sent/posted.

Exactly, that struck me as so odd. My actual birthday? Way too creepy for me. I'm very empathetic, so I have a lot of patience, but that crossed a line.

 

[hamvil]

He reminds me of Lenny from "Of Mice and Men". But instead of really being a gentle giant that didn't know any better like Lenny, he knows better. He has the cognitive ability to adjust his behavior.

That whole "drunk" part was because he told me he was already dead, and he now haunts people. I'm thinking the whole drunk part is true, and he did something incredibly idiotic that led to him being ousted from yet another group. How this man isn't locked up somewhere by now is beyond me. We only see a fraction of what truly goes on in his life, too. This is the message:

View attachment 98939

Well I think that I did write in the past that I did die in date XY, but I meant metaphorically, this guy took it to the next level.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

He reminds me of Lenny from "Of Mice and Men". But instead of really being a gentle giant that didn't know any better like Lenny, he knows better. He has the cognitive ability to adjust his behavior.

I think he was adjusting too, but not in the way of stopping himself from going out of his way to lure someone 30 years his junior. He was adjusting by making his messages slightly less creepier over time. Still asking for name, age and location(indirectly, by giving his own). They seem less confused in their DMs than when they made posts here.

I'm glad you're safe, anyway.

 

[Chinaski]

I don't think anyone here needs to feel bad for his banning or attempt to explain his conduct by viewing it through a quasi-diagnostic prism. The guy was an obvious danger for quite some time, l know l had referred to his conduct publicly on more than one occasion and so did several others. Whatever help and assistance he needs l hope he gets, for both his sake and everyone else he comes into contact with, but too often when some manipulative or predatory type is given the boot there will be someone to put the "this is a suicide forum where people should speak without fear of judgement also bad human behaviour can be washed away with a Wikipedia link to a DSM criteria" argument and this really does need to be canned. By definition this community will attract the most vulnerable and, by extension, predators too and this lad's creepiness was given excess and undue tolerance when it should not have been afforded. His behaviour doesn't need to be analysed or explained by any of us, his posts speak for themselves.

 

[emgrl]

I think he was adjusting too, but not in the way of stopping himself from going out of his way to lure someone 30 years his junior. He was adjusting by making his messages slightly less creepier over time. Still asking for name, age and location(indirectly, by giving his own). They seem less confused in their DMs than when they made posts here.

I'm glad you're safe, anyway.

I'm not sure he was. Trying to justify his actions over and over, I don't think he gets it. He'd purposefully put himself out there, and negate anyone suggesting his actions were inappropriate. He saw nothing wrong with what he was doing. I hope he finds the help he needs.

And, thanks! I'm glad everyone is safe now, too.

 

[freedompass]

'No one wants to tell me where I'm going wrong'. Yet lots of us kinda did, disingenuous methinks. Another lost soul, he probably does feel like a ghost in this world. By seeming creepy and weird at the outset hopefully he's less of a danger to girls/women than a more cunning clued up predator would be.

 

[Someone123]

He reminds me of Lenny from "Of Mice and Men". But instead of really being a gentle giant that didn't know any better like Lenny, he knows better. He has the cognitive ability to adjust his behavior.

That whole "drunk" part was because he told me he was already dead, and he now haunts people. I'm thinking the whole drunk part is true, and he did something incredibly idiotic that led to him being ousted from yet another group. How this man isn't locked up somewhere by now is beyond me. We only see a fraction of what truly goes on in his life, too. This is the message:

View attachment 98939

Exactly, that struck me as so odd. My actual birthday? Way too creepy for me. I'm very empathetic, so I have a lot of patience, but that crossed a line.

I think saying he died on a certain date was a very odd attempt at humor- I don't think he knows better with this, I think he thought someone would think it is funny- this may be a date that something happened so that he went into a depression he hasn't escaped yet. Asking for a person's first name isn't the worst thing. The other things are conversation starters that can work in some situations, but this isn't a dating site, which he didn't seem to understand. If messaged you about a topic on this website it might be ok if it was worded reasonably, but most communication on this site is on the threads.. I think the reason he isn't locked up is because he hasn't acted on his worst thoughts, but if he does he will be. In my opinion the message above is similar to some of the awkwardness that sometimes comes with autism/aspergers. As far as knowing better, he can adjust his behavior some but he doesn't seem to have a comprehension of some social norms. Oh well, he's going to need to chat elsewhere- I hope he can find peace somehow.

 

[emgrl]

I think saying he died on a certain date was a very odd attempt at humor- I don't think he knows better with this, I think he thought someone would think it is funny- this may be a date that something happened so that he went into a depression he hasn't escaped yet. Asking for a person's first name isn't the worst thing. The other things are conversation starters that can work in some situations, but this isn't a dating site, which he didn't seem to understand. If messaged you about a topic on this website it might be ok if it was worded reasonably, but most communication on this site is on the threads.. I think the reason he isn't locked up is because he hasn't acted on his worst thoughts, but if he does he will be. In my opinion the message above is similar to some of the awkwardness that sometimes comes with autism/aspergers. As far as knowing better, he can adjust his behavior some but he doesn't seem to have a comprehension of some social norms. Oh well, he's going to need to chat elsewhere- I hope he can find peace somehow.

Ohhh, that's definitely what he was trying to be, funny… but, he wasn't. I thought the same thing. That date must mean something. I truly do hope he finds the help and company he needs.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I'm done now, I promise.

 

[emgrl]

View attachment 98943

I'm done now, I promise.

Exactly!

 

[outatime_85]

Question

Would it be possible, if such issues arise again and a user is reported for something extremely egregious, that admins or mods send a forum wide bulletin out to members so that they can avoid or minimize their contact with the reported party?

Something like an Interpol notice for forum users

Because I don't think every person here wants to set their profile to private, going comms down.

 

[Someone123]

Question

Would it be possible, if such issues arise again and a user is reported for something extremely egregious, that admins or mods send a forum wide bulletin out to members so that they can avoid or minimize their contact with the reported party?

Something like an Interpol notice

Because I don't think every person here wants to set their profile to private, going comms down.

If it's that egregious they should simply be banned which solves the problem. Not sure why he wasn't banned after the strangling comment, but the mods have a lot of tough calls to make, so I'm not going to judge that. But he's banned now, and any egregious comments would normally go right to a ban.

 

[outatime_85]

If it's that egregious they should simply be bannedm while solves the problem. Not sure why he wasn't banned after the strangling comment, but the mods have a llot of tough calls to make, so I'm not going to judge that. BUt he's banned now, and any egregious comments would normally go right to a ban.

I understand.

I was only offering another option that might be of use until a decision was made by the staff.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Question

Would it be possible, if such issues arise again and a user is reported for something extremely egregious, that admins or mods send a forum wide bulletin out to members so that they can avoid or minimize their contact with the reported party?

Something like an Interpol notice for forum users

Because I don't think every person here wants to set their profile to private, going comms down.

tell everyone to ignore them and isolate them off in the corner
havent enough people here had to deal with that?? i agree with @Someone123 its better to just ban them.

 

[Idkaho2]

View attachment 98943

I'm done now, I promise.

haha

 

[👁️👃👁️]

check this shit out. they actually mentioned him here.
What if these idiots are sent in purposely to make the community look as bad as possible?

invalidation &inconclusive at it finest

invalidation?? the user has been banned!!

 

[BornToFail]

You've made posts about this kind of thing before. You wanted to send death threats to a women.

The plot thickens...

 

[Suicidebydeath]

check this shit out. they actually mentioned him here.
What if these idiots are sent in purposely to make the community look as bad as possible?

invalidation?? the user has been banned!!

I'm curious who is the user that ctb from MtG's advice and had SaSu on their phone. Maybe that video just picked him because he's cringe. I tried going through his post history to find out for myself, but his comments on the 20 year old virgin thread are extremely cringy. Going to watch the rest of the video now.

It's sad because all of this (amazon trial, etc ) just brings SN more into the limelight. They throw out numbers like 250%+ more deaths, but the number of deaths was very low in the first place, and it's probably one of the most peaceful ways to go. I have to go with inert gas, hanging or worse if I can't use SN, is that what they want?

Hmm, I'm going to post a TW too for that video. He's extremely anti-SaSu, says a lot of negative stuff about it like glorifying suicide, and I've only watched the first half.