I tried to make friends and had the police at my flat because of it!

[whatevs]

Tbf, it's easy to forget that when people post a story on here we're only getting their version of the story, rather than the whole picture.

What the fuckkkk. This man needs to be banned immediately.

 

[emgrl]

See the link in the post Chinaski posted above.

I read that one, I figured there's other threads that would explain more…

Tbf l think the point's been made and probably doesn't need labouring further, you can search a post history easily enough and draw your own conclusions.

Fair enough.

 

[Smart No More]

I can't help wondering if maybe there's some developmental issues and/or some issues that impact the ability to understand boundaries. It is true that there's often more to a story than it initially appears. There's no doubt the OP's behaviour looks damning and represents some danger but there's indications of something other than simple predation. It's hard to know what to believe because ultimately we only have limited view. I get the feeling there's a lot more to this picture though.

 

[Chinaski]

I can help wondering if tmmaybe there's some developmental issues and or some issues that impact the ability to understand boundaries. It is true that there's often more to a story than it initially. There's no doubt the behaviour looks damning but there's indications of something other than simple predation. It's hars to know what to believe because ultimately we only have limited view. I get the feeling there's a lot more to this picture.

Very possibly, it's not for me to offer an armchair diagnosis but it's not correct to offer a free pass to this dangerous presentation on this basis. We're never going to get the full picture of literally anything via this place, but if describing fantasies about strangling, procuring death threat advice and sending unambiguously creepy dms can be overlooked on a fag-packet diagnosis (and it shouldn't be), then literally anything can.

 

[ever so lonely]

now i not being funny or that i love me some shits and giggles for the depression but wow this dude be some straight up weirdo, i don't mean to sound preachy or judgmental because tbh i hate those traits in people but it is hard not to be when you see those links, i mean he is wooing this woman like a predator would ?, wtf man, just goes to show some people on here arent who they seem, or maybe in this case they are exactly as they seem judging by those links, holy fuck, pretty creepy reading to be fair, and it takes a lot to shock me, jus sayin............as ace ventura himself would say, cosy if your hannibal lecter lol

 

[Smart No More]

Very possibly, it's not for me to offer an armchair diagnosis but it's not correct to offer a free pass to this dangerous presentation on this basis. We're never going to get the full picture of literally anything via this place, but if describing fantasies about strangling, procuring death threat advice and sending unambiguously creepy dms can be overlooked on a fag-packet diagnosis (and it shouldn't be), then literally anything can.

I wasn't suggesting that should be the case.

 

[Marktheghost]

Is there any significant age difference or something that could be considered taboo?


Something is clearly not being said and if you're certain you did nothing untowards you should demand explanation politely. Perhaps in writing so there's a record.

Possibly. She's a few years younger than me. If that's a problem, we live in a crazy society though.

Mark, this isn't the first time you made a thread like this. I don't know if you're sending women the wrong signals, I've made female friends online and even in person without problems. Why do they feel threatened?

I have no idea. And nobody I know is interested in helping me find out what I'm doing wrong!

I think it's been deleted now but yes, a thread was begun where he asked for advice on how to strangle a woman not to kill, but "just to frighten" her, because he hated her. This was not long after he sought advice on writing a death threat iirc. To be fair to him it's at least in plain sight l guess, but unless you pay close attention a well-meaning sort could unwittingly fall for one of this obvious danger's routine appeals for "friendship".

EDIT: See reference here:

Post in thread 'How do I cope with not having a single friend?' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...not-having-a-single-friend.88334/post-1575040

Also here, but you knew about the death threat thing, you posted in it

Thread 'What happened to my thread about sending a death threat that I don't mean?' https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ending-a-death-threat-that-i-dont-mean.88075/

And it's quite clear from those posts that I had no intention of hurting the person that despises me (it's her that hates me, not me that hates her), I offered someone a job, and I asked about whether sending a death threat that I didn't mean, and she wouldn't be likely to read, would be morally OK. The reason I haven't been banned is because there's nothing wrong with either of those 3 things.

 

[Idkaho2]

Possibly. She's a few years younger than me. If that's a problem, we live in a crazy society though.

I have no idea. And nobody I know is interested in helping me find out what I'm doing wrong!

And it's quite clear from those posts that I had no intention of hurting the person that despises me (it's her that hates me, not me that hates her), I offered someone a job, and I asked about whether sending a death threat that I didn't mean, and she wouldn't be likely to read, would be morally OK. The reason I haven't been banned is because there's nothing wrong with either of those 3 things.

What messages did you send after the initial 2?

 

[Someone123]

On Friday afternoon I had the police at my flat, saying I'd contacted someone at the netball club I joined recently saying I was interested in making friends with her, and asking me not to contact her again. The only person I've contacted is Christina, who was interested enough to reply to the first of the 2 messages I wrote to her. Is there something wrong with offering someone my friendship? What I'd said was perfectly harmless; I'd just asked her how long she'd been playing netball and things.

If she doesn't want to get to know me before deciding she doesn't like me, I don't see why she has to get the police involved!

Then on Saturday, I got an e-mail from Netball Scotland saying my membership of Netball Scotland has been suspended. They didn't make it clear what that actually means or why. I don't know what's going on! They were even less informative than the police the day before. I don't know whether this is related to Christina or not, they didn't mention it; I can't see what else it could be about!

I don't even know whether to go to play netball tonight now. I'll probably go; I'm scared they'll tell me I can't play though.

You have been here a long time and you know that this should be in the Offtopic area- please help with this issue by posting Offtopic posts in the offtopic area. :)

 

[emgrl]

Being honest with you, you also asked me where I live in a message you sent me and I didn't respond because of that… and that's on here. I didn't even want to give you the country I live in.

You clearly live close to this woman, so you asking her where she lives is extremely scary. It's like you're asking her for her actual address. You also said you're lonely, although there's nothing wrong with that (especially here, that response is perfectly acceptable), but out in the real world, people aren't looking for honest answers, and that can come across as creepy. Then you asked where she's been hiding… that makes her think you've noticed she hasn't been around, and can come across as stalker-ish.

Although it seems you mean no harm, your approach isn't ideal when trying to make friends, especially with the opposite sex.

I mean no harm by this critique, just trying to help you out.

Also- take her pic out of your post. Why would you think that's acceptable?

 

[Idkaho2]

Please edit your post, you can see her full name embedded in that image also. As for constructive criticism, it doesn't seem like you've even chatted with this person before so you shouldn't include so much in your opening message nor should you ask them where they live... if you were going to go with an approach like this, you ideally should've tried talking to the person in real life first with something brief but friendly like "Hiya, [if you are autistic, which I presume], I'm autistic so I have pretty bad social skills but I'm in trying to get out of my shell and make new friends.".
Also you replying with "I'm lonely" just comes across as really weird since this is a chick you've barely interacted with, and the rest is self evident.

 

[emgrl]

Please edit your post, you can see her full name embedded in that image also.

that's just too scary, we need a mod to take that pic down.

@RainAndSadness or @Dot can you help take that woman's pic out of OP's post for her potential safety? She's not even a member of this forum, and he thought it'd be ok to post her pic that's embedded with her full name.

Thank you so much for all of your help and all that you do!

 

[Idkaho2]

that's just too scary, we need a mod to take that pic down.

@RainAndSadness or @Dot can you help take that woman's pic out of OP's post for her potential safety? She's not even a member of this forum, and he thought it'd be ok to post her pic that's embedded with her full name.

Thank you so much for all of your help and all that you do!

I don't think he actually did it intentionally, he probably just copied the messages from the Facebook chat not realizing that he copied their thumbnail, but yeah. Pls mods

 

[Dot]

that's just too scary, we need a mod to take that pic down.

@RainAndSadness or @Dot can you help take that woman's pic out of OP's post for her potential safety? She's not even a member of this forum, and he thought it'd be ok to post her pic that's embedded with her full name.

Thank you so much for all of your help and all that you do!

Hve reportd & alertd othr mods 2 remve whn thy r availble -- am technclly chat mod s/ am nt abl 2 persnlly chnge frum psts bt hve mde othrs awre

 

[emgrl]

I don't think he actually did it intentionally, he probably just copied the messages from the Facebook chat not realizing that he copied their thumbnail, but yeah. Pls mods

You're right, I'm sure he didn't know it was embedded like that.

Still, I know I would have made sure to take someone's pic out of my post on any social media platform. I'm sure most others would, too.

Hve reportd & alertd othr mods 2 remve whn thy r availble -- am technclly chat mod s/ am nt abl 2 persnlly chnge frum psts bt hve mde othrs awre

Thanks, Dot. Appreciate it.

 

[SunshineAndSuicide]

Imo, the messages doesn't seem very suspicious. All that I can imagine the problem would be is that the girl is significantly younger and still in school.

 

[akirat9]

Tbf, it's easy to forget that when people post on here we're only getting their version of the story, rather than the full picture.

invalidation at it finest

 

[Chinaski]

invalidation at it finest

People on this website have spent so long pointing at any old shit they don't like and calling it "invalidation" the word itself no longer has meaning.

 

[akirat9]

People on this website have spent so long pointing at any old shit they don't like and calling it "invalidation" the word itself no longer has meaning.

invalidation &inconclusive at it finest

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Was Greta on the netball team?

 

[odradek]

Come on man... How many times must you get the same message before it sinks in. Why don't you try football or something instead of a sport dominated by young women. Young women don't want to be your friend. Period. The police being called should be a wake up call for you. You're either lying to us or, more likely, lying to yourself. Just stop already.

 

[Chinaski]

invalidation &inconclusive at it finest

They are his actual posts, in the public domain. The baldly factual statement that people on the internet are not always all that they seem is not invalidation by any metric.

 

[whatevs]

Come on man... How many times must you get the same message before it sinks in. Why don't you try football or something instead of a sport dominated by young women. Young women don't want to be your friend. Period. The police being called should be a wake up call for you. You're either lying to us or, more likely, lying to yourself. Just stop already.

I'm still baffled by the strangling posts and why they didn't lead to banning. It's one thing to have free speech but if you're describing plans to choke someone unconscious then you should be on an onion site or something (I mean jail or a psychiatric ward).

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I'm still baffled by the strangling posts and why they didn't lead to banning. It's one thing to have free speech but if you're describing plans to choke someone unconscious then you should be on an onion site or something (I mean jail or a psychiatric ward).

Agreed. I'm pretty sure people have been banned on this site for less.

 

[ever so lonely]

Was Greta on the netball team?

Pmsl she most certainly was I saw her panties lol

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I just hope OP doesn't take up cheerleading next.

 

[ever so lonely]

I just hope OP doesn't take up cheerleading next.

hahahaha can you imagine, no lets not lol

 

[ever so lonely]

jesus that is heavy stuff, i know my cousin is on the autism spectrum, saying that she doesnt behave like this, sure her vocabulary is effected and sometimes verbal reasoning, sometimes she has trouble explaining what she means, but still, it makes the greta comment seem more sinister now, i had no idea, who it was in reference to, pretty heavy stuff, have to say, at least that explains why police scotland got involved, i live there myself and those guys dont mess about, (applies to the rest of the uk too i would wager), and correctly so, given what is on display here, makes you wonder it had to have been serious for they got involved, it has to be serious for them to get involved, has to be, or else they wouldnt conduct themselves like that willy nilly,

 

[Chinaski]

Tbf the mods have now moved this thread to off topic, hopefully this will allay any potential criticism about a sluggish reaction.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Also- take her pic out of your post. Why would you think that's acceptable?

That's awful, doxxing someone's photo and name whether intentional or not.

So was the age difference significantly more than "a couple of years"? Mtg is in their 50s iirc. Most netball players are probably young women, and they could be as young as 16 or younger, it's a sport played by teenagers in secondary school. Also why did he join a club that is predominated by young women? That's a rhetorical question.

I knew all/most of the above about him before, and I'd mentioned concerns about them to a moderator in the past. There's a lot of posts here, essentially I think we're either not getting the full story, and/or that they're excercising self-deception. I don't think what happened in the OP is a full and honest account by our standards.

There's quite a few things they've done where they don't see what they've done wrong, but have been enough to get them banned from various places, which they insisted on revisiting regardless. It seems like people have been extraordinarily patient with them IRL so far.

The DMs revealed by Jeremy were disgusting and creepy. They kept going on about their age, size "how little they were" and insinuating sexual things. They wanted to "hire" them as a live-in maid, and they were posing as a very young woman.

Come on man... How many times must you get the same message before it sinks in. Why don't you try football or something instead of a sport dominated by young women. Young women don't want to be your friend. Period. The police being called should be a wake up call for you. You're either lying to us or, more likely, lying to yourself. Just stop already.

This. It's dishonest or self-deception.