Venting I survived

[front of me]

I don't understand this. What are you saying? @アホペンギン said Tachycardia and nausea made their si act up so I don't know what your point is.

I was a little confused because I read that she called the ambulance because of a failed attempt, not fear

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Sometimes I do wonder what the guests who are even looking at threads like this even think or do after.

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

I plan on taking more antiemetic next time. I took too little antiemetic and probably gained tolerance to it after taking it daily so it wasn't as potent and it didn't work against my nausea. I will still use SN but do some things to solve the problems I faced in my previous attempt.

Can't you get another type of ae to avoid the tolerance issue? Maybe something else would work even better.

 

[Letmedienow]

That's crazy that the hospital has keys to people's apartments!!! Are you sure about this, it doesn't seem legal? Maybe they got a key from your apartment manager? Also, you are lucky to be allowed your phone in the hospital. They took mine and didn't give it back to me until my hold was over :( You must live somewhere with better policies than the US. It was cruel not letting me have my phone to talk to people. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience with everything, thanks for sharing.

 

[front of me]

That's crazy that the hospital has keys to people's apartments!!! Are you sure about this, it doesn't seem legal? Maybe they got a key from your apartment manager? Also, you are lucky to be allowed your phone in the hospital. They took mine and didn't give it back to me until my hold was over :( You must live somewhere with better policies than the US. It was cruel not letting me have my phone to talk to people. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience with everything, thanks for sharing.

Emergency personnel have the right to break down the door in extreme cases, they put a person's safety above standards that we consider private

 

[Letmedienow]

Emergency personnel have the right to break down the door in extreme cases, they put a person's safety above standards that we consider private

I'm very aware that they can break down a door, it's happend to me several times and that's not the issue here. It's very different to a hospital having the key in hand to open anyone's apartment they want. That seems like a liability, what if the key was stolen?

 

[アホペンギン]

Can't you get another type of ae to avoid the tolerance issue? Maybe something else would work even better.

I'll try doing that, but I don't know which one I should use. Do you know which one is the best alternative to meto?

 

[befree]

Do you know which one is the best alternative to meto?

Domperidone

 

[jonward55]

Domperidone

Any ideas what to put on an online prescription request to suddenly want to order this online rather than seeing your Doctor please ?

 

[アホペンギン]

Domperidone

I will try to ask my doctor for that, then. Thanks.

I hope you do alright in psych. How long after you took SN did the SI kick in? We will be here supporting you however everything goes. You'll be in my thoughts.

I was calm after drinking it but after I started feeling nauseous, SI kicked in.

That's crazy that the hospital has keys to people's apartments!!! Are you sure about this, it doesn't seem legal?

The doors are like hotel doors, very very heavy. They need keys. It was accepted by the people who own these apartment buildings.

 

[befree]

I will try to ask my doctor for that, then. Thanks.

I will send you a PM and tell you what you have to tell your doctor to get a prescription.

 

[Boudika]

Nice to see you again. After all, I'm really happy that you are okay. I hope your family was nice to you after this, and comferted you.

 

[cscott]

Sorry ..came to PM you back but our our chat has gone ?

Is it ss going down again or ..?

 

[アホペンギン]

Sorry ..came to PM you back but our our chat has gone ?

Is it ss going down again or ..?

Yes, I saw that our chat is gone, I'll try to tell you more information privately somehow.

 

[Avisagia]

Ahopengin! ist good to see you again! and im glad that you don't carry any damage from the first attempt! i like your positive approach to try again, and i think you r right about it!

since i may use SN as my method too, i have some technical questions. You mentioned many kinds of pills and drugs (except the sn) like Meto, Xanax, Benzos, propranolol, and ondansetron.
as far as i know one should take antiemetic pills (like the Meto that you took or Ondansetron (i dont know why but i read in pph that they recommend taking them both! 40mg of Meto and 8mg of Ondasteron for some reason??, maybe the ondansetron has another purpose?!).
i also know that mixing propranolol with the sn is helpful to the observation.
and the benzos is just for decreasing anxiety.
i hope that im right until now, Please correct me if i have any mistakes..
the only drug i don't know is Xanax, hat is it for?

 

[アホペンギン]

Ahopengin! ist good to see you again! and im glad that you don't carry any damage from the first attempt! i like your positive approach to try again, and i think you r right about it!

since i may use SN as my method too, i have some technical questions. You mentioned many kinds of pills and drugs (except the sn) like Meto, Xanax, Benzos, propranolol, and ondansetron.
as far as i know one should take antiemetic pills (like the Meto that you took or Ondansetron (i dont know why but i read in pph that they recommend taking them both! 40mg of Meto and 8mg of Ondasteron for some reason??, maybe the ondansetron has another purpose?!).
i also know that mixing propranolol with the sn is helpful to the observation.
and the benzos is just for decreasing anxiety.
i hope that im right until now, Please correct me if i have any mistakes..
the only drug i don't know is Xanax, hat is it for?

The ondansetron is an antiemetic and many people recommend taking both metoclopramide and ondansetron together to reduce PONV (postoperative nausea and vomiting) and its a very effective combination of drugs. Ondansetron's only purpose is to reduce nausea and its good to take both meto and. ondansetron together because they reduce PONV like I said earlier and they don't act on the same receptors so they are good to use.

The propranolol is only necessary (even then, not required) if you don't have benzos and tend to panic due to tachycardia or anything abnormal with your heartbeat. You don't need propranolol if you have benzos but if you feel better including propranolol in the protocol with benzos already there then its fine. I just don't recommend using too many different medications because some complications will arise.

Xanax is a BZD drug (benzodiazepines) and it is sold as Alprazolam among others while Xanax is the general name of the drug. The normal dosage is 0.25-0.5mg and should never exceed 4mg if you're taking it daily. As for when its used during ctb, its best to take whichever amount works best for you which is 2mg-3.5mg for most people. However, the dosage you should take totally depends on your personal tolerance to the drug and finding your tolerance requires some testing.

 

[protect101]

What was the antidote that they gave you?
And how long were you intubated for before they then extubated?
I'm also curious if you happen to know what your vital signs were? Heart rate? Oxygen saturation %? resp rate? Bloods MetHB level?

 

[アホペンギン]

What was the antidote that they gave you?
And how long were you intubated for before they then extubated?
I'm also curious if you happen to know what your vital signs were? Heart rate? Oxygen saturation %? resp rate? Bloods MetHB level?

The antidote is methylene blue.

I was intubated for maybe a day, I'm not sure anymore. I'm not in the hospital anymore so I can't ask them about anything like the vital signs or oxygen saturation but it was quite low when I got there (oxygen saturation) it got better after getting administered the antidote and having my stomach cleaned out.

 

[Anon7b8]

I'm glad that you are fine and got to call the hospital fast.

 

[Sid19]

I failed. The hospital is literally across the street so I got saved quickly. They also have special keys for the area that I live in (apartment complex, the keys open every door) so they didn't have any trouble getting me. They intubated me, gave me the antidote for SN and used something to clean my stomach, I honestly don't know. I will leave there soon and arrive at the psych ward. I'll be discharged from the psych ward when I go there in… a while… I don't know either. I think its proper to be here for 2 weeks, as it was my stay last time I was here but I'm not sure. I don't know the laws about psych ward stays here, I might be made to stay longer. My SN and propranolol got thrown out and I won't be able to buy anything else for a while. I have absolutely no idea when I will be able to attempt again but at least the day i'll have to attend college got canceled, meaning, I won't have to attend until next year because I'm not mentally stable. Anyways, I really thought i'd succeed, sorry for wasting everyone's time and making you all really anxious and possibly apprehensive about the SN method.I'll attempt SN again sooner or later, next time probably using more meto. I'm not sure if you can gain tolerance to medications as you can do with opioids, etc. but I have taken meto before, 5mg every day because I had the worst nausea, lost a lot of weight but thats not relevant . I'll try 40mg of meto next time.

I was really scared which also contributed to the nausea. If I'm panicking and vomit, the contractions in my throat continue and I can't control them. will try to get benzos next time as well. I will remove propranolol from the regimen if I get the benzos because it would become unnecessary and would cause some complications with too many medications.

Doctors said I would've died if I didn't call the ambulance, some SN got in my stomach. Now I regret calling them. Stupid SI. Still not backing away from the SN method, its still my preferred method. It was just the nausea and vomiting that stopped me from succeeding. Like I said, I plan on taking more meto next time.

Edit: wrote this post a few hours ago after I woke up from a coma and planned to post it on the day I was going to go to the psych ward but just did it today.

What meds did you took for sn? Can you tell me briefly? I am also planning on doing ctb using sn. Problem is it's almost impossible to get benzodiazepines in my country without prescription. I'm thinking of using olanzapine instead.

 

[TheMetalhead]

I was reluctant to write here, but your attempt made me cry a lot man, (i think thats the 2nd time i cried in a year, both times due to SaSu people. ) I was thinking about you for days despite not knowing you except for what you post here. I wish you peace, and whatever choice you decide on, be it ctb or trying to live on - I'll be supportive and try to help if you would ever need it.

 

[アホペンギン]

What meds did you took for sn? Can you tell me briefly? I am also planning on doing ctb using sn. Problem is it's almost impossible to get benzodiazepines in my country without prescription. I'm thinking of using olanzapine instead.

I used metoclopramide, ibuprofen and propranolol. I took 600mg ibuprofen and 80mg propranolol 1 hour before drinking the SN and I took 30mg metoclopramide (it wasn't enough, though) 45 minutes before drinking the SN.

Olanzapine is a good alternative to benzos if it calms you down well. You can even use it as an antiemetic. Take a stat dose of about 20mg Olanzapine before SN.

 

[Sid19]

I used metoclopramide, ibuprofen and propranolol. I took 600mg ibuprofen and 80mg propranolol 1 hour before drinking the SN and I took 30mg metoclopramide (it wasn't enough, though) 45 minutes before drinking the SN.

Olanzapine is a good alternative to benzos if it calms you down well. You can even use it as an antiemetic. Take a stat dose of about 20mg Olanzapine before SN.

Cheers mate. I don't have any idea what are you going through right now, but I hope you recover soon, and get out of whatever they put you in. What are you going to do about benzodiazepine though? It seems like even in your country (I assume Japan?) has some strict restrictions on sedatives?

 

[アホペンギン]

Cheers mate. I don't have any idea what are you going through right now, but I hope you recover soon, and get out of whatever they put you in. What are you going to do about benzodiazepine though? It seems like even in your country (I assume Japan?) has some strict restrictions on sedatives?

I'm doing fine right now, the psych ward is genuinely nice to me and I have been lying to them quite well so I think I will be discharged very soon. I am sad that I failed my attempt but I'm starting to feel fine. I few days ago I had a meltdown because I failed…

Also, I'm not in Japan, I'm in Turkey but I have studied Japanese and didn't know what to make my name so I made it something in japanese, discreet + good alternative to other options that I had. Turkey is quite careful about who gets certain medications and whatnot, though. I'm probably going to try getting a script for benzos from the psych ward.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Hello @アホペンギン and sorry for my late reply.

Thanks so much for answering many questions - your contribution is invaluable to people on this forum

I'm disappointed in myself, I should've taken more metoclopramide but I underestimated how bad my nausea would be. I take metoclopramide sometimes because of my nausea, 5mg and it always works quite well for my nausea so I thought 30mg would be more than enough but that was wrong. I'm stupid.

I understand that you were worried about me, i don't remember what happened on that day at all but I see why everyone was worried, I think it was really agonizing for me. I understand why you are relieved that I'm alive, its human nature.

Take care of yourself as well. :)

Thanks, and I'm so sorry to hear that you are disappointed with yourself. I've ever attempted partial hanging, and even though I don't remember how I felt at that day, but I think waking up at a hospital is really disheartening because you have to face your problems like before.

I'm doing fine right now, the psych ward is genuinely nice to me and I have been lying to them quite well so I think I will be discharged very soon. I am sad that I failed my attempt but I'm starting to feel fine. I few days ago I had a meltdown because I failed…

And I'm glad to hear you started to feel fine and you'll be discharged soon.

I don't think my family will give me space. Last time I attempted they only yelled at me rather than comforting me and trying to help me get better. I don't have enough support and i don't really want to stay alive anyways, the world is fucked up and i'm fucked up as well.

Yeah, they think i'm healthy and apparently i'm too fortunate to ever struggle so they dismiss my problems and instead yell at me.

Even though your family are not supportive, and we're not health care professionals, we are here and listen to you.
And no matter how they judge you, you aren't too fortunate to struggle - you ingested a considerable amount of SN, which is a testament to how serious your struggle is.

I'm so sorry you went through this. surviving an attempt is one of the worst feelings ever. please take some time to recover before you decide to make another attempt; your body just went through a lot and you deserve to take care of yourself.
and don't feel bad about calling the ambulance; I did the exact same thing once. I overdosed on antidepressants and when I woke up a few hours later I panicked and called for help. my psychiatrist told me later that the amount I took easily could've killed me, which made me feel shitty for calling for help. but there's really nothing we can do when our instinct kicks in to protect us from ourselves.
I hope your psych ward stay isn't too bad

I'm so sorry to hear what you had endured. I'm glad you're here but sorry that you're still struggling... And thanks for sharing your experience

Despite your careful plan,
You are still here.
So we will hear,
Wish you the best and no less than.

I hope your days will be a bit less unbearable

LoiteringClouds

 

[kionu09]

I'm doing fine right now, the psych ward is genuinely nice to me and I have been lying to them quite well so I think I will be discharged very soon. I am sad that I failed my attempt but I'm starting to feel fine. I few days ago I had a meltdown because I failed…

Also, I'm not in Japan, I'm in Turkey but I have studied Japanese and didn't know what to make my name so I made it something in japanese, discreet + good alternative to other options that I had. Turkey is quite careful about who gets certain medications and whatnot, though. I'm probably going to try getting a script for benzos from the psych ward.

I also live in Turkey and finding all the stuff for the method was easy for me. Just got benzo prescribed in the first psych appointment.

 

[AeroReese]

Penguin! (op's username translates out to idiot penguin)
I was browsing the forums the night you SN'ed I cried in respect for you when you stopped messaging

I'm half intoxicated off a couple smirnoff so I hope this isn't toxicly positive but I'm really sorry you have to experience the shit and pain you have; I don't know you but you're a beautiful soul, I respect your wishes but I am sorry for you and the rest of us who are seriously contemplating ctb

I wish you well you've got a friend in me, I'm excited to interact with this sub actually. Never knew something like this exists until the other night

 

[letmegetout]

I'm so sorry for what you have had and are still going through I hope you're out of the psych ward quickly. There's nothing to be sorry for, I'm glad you don't have any long term effects and we're all here for you and will be for as long as you want us to be

 

[OrphicEnd]

I'm starting to feel fine

It's good to hear !

I made it something in japanes

Your nickname always made me smile, is it a coincidence or is it intentional that it translates to "stupid penguin"?

 

[アホペンギン]

Your nickname always made me smile, is it a coincidence or is it intentional that it translates to "stupid penguin"?

It was intentional. A very long story explains why I chose this as a name.