Venting I survived

[Deleted member 65988]

I remember reading that the fast heart beat medication was not longer advised as it slows down absorption.. maybe I'm wrong. I don't get any of that type of medication, I will just have to make do with the benzos

Well since SN does affect your cardiovascular system, the PPH recommended removing Beta blockers from the regimen because it prevents consciousness being lost faster.

Benzos will work, its been shown to work and it's been recommended for people with low pain tolerance and more prone to anxiety which tachycardia will definitely induce that especially if someone isn't use to it.

 

[アホペンギン]

I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this, I always see you here and you seem to be a lovely person, I wish peace and easiness for you.

Thank you for taking the time to answer all of the questions, I'll be drinking SN soon and will definitely take benzos and more propanolol now + I also use 5mg of meto daily so I'll up the dose and take ondansetron too, I read about the mixture being effective.

I wish you the best with the future attempt. I'm glad I could give you some advice indirectly and I'm glad it helped you. Best wishes. :)

Glad you're fine, welcome back bro

Can i ask how many cups did u prepare and did u vomit them all?

I'm so sorry u went through that, i hope u to get out from the psych ward asap.

I prepared 3 cups, each containing ~25g SN and I vomited them all because I have bad nausea that prevents me from keeping anything down. I will be sent to the psych ward tomorrow and hopefully you're right about that. I think I will be there for 2 weeks.

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

because it prevents consciousness being lost faster.

I'm pretty sure it's the opposite? Your heartbeat increases to send oxygen faster to your brain and KEEP you conscious, the propranolol prevents this slowing it down.

 

[アホペンギン]

I'm pretty sure it's the opposite? Your heartbeat increases to send oxygen faster to your brain and KEEP you conscious, the propranolol prevents this slowing it down.

This is exactly why theres controversy and why it was removed from the regimen, lol.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

This is exactly why theres controversy and why it was removed from the regimen, lol.

Which is why I don't understand why it was removed.

 

[SN drinker]

So, how did this affect your relationship with SN? Will you use a different method now now that you have that experience? (if/when you CTB in the future)

 

[Umi__]

I was so scared about you I hope you are doing better now...

 

[アホペンギン]

So, how did this affect your relationship with SN? Will you use a different method now now that you have that experience? (if/when you CTB in the future)

SN is still my preferred method and the one that I will use. I will just modify my plan a little bit and test my tolerance to some drugs while integrating them into the plan. (some benzos and sedatives mainly)

I was so scared about you I hope you are doing better now...
I was so scared about you I hope you are doing better now...

I'm doing fine now, I just feel shitty because of the failed attempt but also glad that I have people who care about me.

 

[front of me]

I'm really sorry it didn't happen to you, how were you rescued while you were inside the apartment?

 

[アホペンギン]

I'm really sorry it didn't happen to you, how were you rescued while you were inside the apartment?

I called the ambulance and since the hospital was very close to where I live, I got saved quickly. The hospital has special keys for these emergency occasions like this one that can open every door.

...This would not be the worst idea.

Welcome back !

Unfortunately, your goodbye thread has disappeared due to a server outage. I posted the cat will miss you.

I hope you get better soon.

... I´m waiting for アホペンギン

I will try to find the cat again after I get discharged from the ward, don't worry. :)

 

[Deleted member 65988]

SN is still my preferred method and the one that I will use. I will just modify my plan a little bit and test my tolerance to some drugs while integrating them into the plan. (some benzos and sedatives mainly)

At this stage, I'd like to ask if you feel any less apprehensive about taking sn again in the future if you plan to do so again because it does sound you are leaning towards doing it again but with benzos this time.

 

[Umi__]

I'm doing fine now, I just feel shitty because of the failed attempt but also glad that I have people who care about me.

it's okey to feel shitty rn, and i hope ur family try to understand you pls update us. i kinda get u also I'm going to try sn method in probably one week after I get other things such as beta blocker and such. I don't have time I'm still thinking about use my firearm but I can't pull the trigger

 

[アホペンギン]

At this stage, I'd like to ask if you feel any less apprehensive about taking sn again in the future if you plan to do so again because it does sound you are leaning towards doing it again but with benzos this time.

I don't feel apprehensive at all because I know why I failed, I will make sure to address that problem (nausea and panicking) next time I attempt with using benzos and more antiemetics.

 

[snowlance]

I barely know you and read your thread. It kinda destroyed me and i cried like crazy, I'm not used to it yet I guess. I'm so sorry it didn't go well for you, I'm sure it must've been frustrating for you to wake up in the hospital. I hope this is at least a wake up call to your family and they treat you better.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I don't feel apprehensive at all because I know why I failed, I will make sure to address that problem (nausea and panicking) next time I attempt with using benzos and more antiemetics.

Anyways, I think that's enough of me asking you all of this. I'm sure there's frustration to be felt but like I said earlier, I'm glad you are and still here as much as that sounds selfish of me. I wish you well and I'd appreciate it if we had more interactions while you are still around.

 

[Tulip<3]

Welcome back, I'm so sorry for everything you have gone through. We were worried because we care about you, but please please don't feel bad or apologise!

take care of yourself as best as you can, and we are here

 

[jordan6243]

I hope you do alright in psych. How long after you took SN did the SI kick in? We will be here supporting you however everything goes. You'll be in my thoughts.

 

[jar-baby]

I'm sorry that you had to go through that, and I hope you're doing okay emotionally
Don't feel pressured to answer all the questions at once. Your self-care comes first.

Here's a kitty pic that will hopefully help cheer you up:

 

[cookies]

I failed. The hospital is literally across the street so I got saved quickly. They also have special keys for the area that I live in (apartment complex, the keys open every door) so they didn't have any trouble getting me. They intubated me, gave me the antidote for SN and used something to clean my stomach, I honestly don't know. I will leave there soon and arrive at the psych ward. I'll be discharged from the psych ward when I go there in… a while… I don't know either. I think its proper to be here for 2 weeks, as it was my stay last time I was here but I'm not sure. I don't know the laws about psych ward stays here, I might be made to stay longer. My SN and propranolol got thrown out and I won't be able to buy anything else for a while. I have absolutely no idea when I will be able to attempt again but at least the day i'll have to attend college got canceled, meaning, I won't have to attend until next year because I'm not mentally stable. Anyways, I really thought i'd succeed, sorry for wasting everyone's time and making you all really anxious and possibly apprehensive about the SN method.I'll attempt SN again sooner or later, next time probably using more meto. I'm not sure if you can gain tolerance to medications as you can do with opioids, etc. but I have taken meto before, 5mg every day because I had the worst nausea, lost a lot of weight but thats not relevant . I'll try 40mg of meto next time.

I was really scared which also contributed to the nausea. If I'm panicking and vomit, the contractions in my throat continue and I can't control them. will try to get benzos next time as well. I will remove propranolol from the regimen if I get the benzos because it would become unnecessary and would cause some complications with too many medications.

Doctors said I would've died if I didn't call the ambulance, some SN got in my stomach. Now I regret calling them. Stupid SI. Still not backing away from the SN method, its still my preferred method. It was just the nausea and vomiting that stopped me from succeeding. Like I said, I plan on taking more meto next time.

Edit: wrote this post a few hours ago after I woke up from a coma and planned to post it on the day I was going to go to the psych ward but just did it today.

I'm sorry things didn't go as planned. Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope SN will help me find peace soon. Hugs for you.

 

[front of me]

I don't feel apprehensive at all because I know why I failed, I will make sure to address that problem (nausea and panicking) next time I attempt with using benzos and more antiemetics.

Was there severe pain that made you call an ambulance? What exactly happened? Or did you remember that you wanted to live and then you called an ambulance?

 

[アホペンギン]

Was there severe pain that made you call an ambulance? What exactly happened? Or did you remember that you wanted to live and then you called an ambulance?

I threw up too much and many guides say if you throw up all the SN you failed and you have to call the hospital.

 

[front of me]

I threw up too much and many guides say if you throw up all the SN you failed and you have to call the hospital.

Did you drink it and then lie on your right side? The protocol also says to prepare a second cup. It seems that you were not able to drink a second cup!? We want to know details and tips so that we do not fail

 

[アホペンギン]

Did you drink it and then lie on your right side? The protocol also says to prepare a second cup. It seems that you were not able to drink a second cup!? We want to know details and tips so that we do not fail

I had 3 glasses prepared but my plan of having 3 glasses to prevent failure backfired because I have been suffering from nausea for a long time, very severe nausea and I didn't take enough AE which caused me to vomit. I don't remember much from that day so I don't remember lying on my right side but its in my plan so I'm not sure. I was able to drink all 3 cups but vomited everything out.

 

[front of me]

I had 3 glasses prepared but my plan of having 3 glasses to prevent failure backfired because I have been suffering from nausea for a long time, very severe nausea and I didn't take enough AE which caused me to vomit. I don't remember much from that day so I don't remember lying on my right side but its in my plan so I'm not sure. I was able to drink all 3 cups but vomited everything out.

" I was able to drink all 3 cups but vomited everything out."
I have not seen anything like this in a topic. Do you have previous stomach problems? Or a sensitive stomach, previous problems with vomiting, etc

 

[アホペンギン]

" I was able to drink all 3 cups but vomited everything out."
I have not seen anything like this in a topic. Do you have previous stomach problems? Or a sensitive stomach, previous problems with vomiting, etc

Yes, I have problems with nausea and a very weak stomach, I can't keep anything down without my antiemetic that I take daily (metoclopramide, 5mg)

 

[front of me]

Yes, I have problems with nausea and a very weak stomach, I can't keep anything down without my antiemetic that I take daily (metoclopramide, 5mg)

I don't think sodium nitrite will work for you. You should see another way. Really sorry for the pain you felt. I hope you are treated well in the hospital. You can talk to me anytime. Thank you.

 

[アホペンギン]

I don't think sodium nitrite will work for you. You should see another way. Really sorry for the pain you felt. I hope you are treated well in the hospital. You can talk to me anytime. Thank you.

I plan on taking more antiemetic next time. I took too little antiemetic and probably gained tolerance to it after taking it daily so it wasn't as potent and it didn't work against my nausea. I will still use SN but do some things to solve the problems I faced in my previous attempt.

 

[NoHorizon]

I'm so glad I've just seen this thread, been thinking about you a lot since coming to your goodbye thread just after you'd taken it.

The fact you keep apologising to people for them worrying and also spent so much time answering questions already not long after going through such an awful experience shows how kind and lovely you are - as many others have already said please try not to feel any guilt over people's reactions/emotions around your experience.

I don't want to write an essay and everyone has already said things more eloquently than I would but I hope your recovery from the attempt/stay at the psych ward goes OK. Take care.

 

[front of me]

Never mind the fact that you were super nauseous the entire time, it just goes to show that even a small amount that gets into your system could get it done but you didn't know it at the time and si kicked in which is 100% understandable.

It's not about SI she drank three cups, which means that she was very insistent, and she did not want to have a failure because she vomited a lot. Your words regarding the amount are simple to kill. Yes, right.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

It's not about SI she drank three cups, which means that he was very insistent, and she did not want to have a failure because she vomited a lot. Your words regarding the amount are simple to kill. Yes, right.

I don't understand this. What are you saying? @アホペンギン said Tachycardia and nausea made their si act up so I don't know what your point is.