Venting 40mg of lexipro still doesn’t help + all my doctors end up quitting

[collapsing_lungs]

I've been on lexipro for a long time now(8+ years) and a couple years ago after being "maxed out" on 20mg my psychiatrist upped my dosage to 25mg. Supposedly lexipro is an effective treatment for ocd at higher doses and other ocd medications would interact with my other medications I already take. It helped a bit until it didn't, long story short I swallowed magnets and lost about 3ft of small intestine. That wasn't an attempt, just me being stupid and ocd. After some more time I ended up getting a new psychiatrist who decided to up the dosage to 40mg. It's been about a week of being on this new dose and all it does is make me a zombie. My interests are no longer interesting and I have barely any energy to go volunteering at the zoo like I used to do.
My new psychiatrist suggested that I get a new therapist that specializes in ocd but i am so done with therapy. It doesn't help and everyone around me just doesn't seem to understand that it doesn't help. I've been in therapy for almost 10 years now and have had 8-9 therapists. Each time they end up telling me they aren't qualified for me and give me a referral to the next therapist who'll also just tell me to go somewhere else. My psychiatrist said that it's normal for therapist not to match a lot of the time but at this point I am tired of this system, still she insisted but I refused.
Therapy only works if the person actually wants help but what if I don't want help anymore? My father is actively trying to get me institutionalized for maybe that's where I belong. I know I will be institutionalized for the next time I go to the psych ward because they tried last time. I think I found a source of SN but I am still a bit unsure of the purity. I don't have access to any medication myself because my father keeps it locked up behind a door. I could probably try to break the lock on the door but there are cameras he checks while he's gone. I might just pick up pepto, fast, and hope for the best raw dogging the SN. I once came very close to ctb with Tylenol pm however I was found by my dad. If he didn't find me I would have succeeded. Don't ask me about how much I took but it was close to 100 pills at 500mg, the pm part was probably what made it more successful but I don't remember what makes the pm. I passed out and woke up a week later then sent off to the loony bin for a month.
I'll update about the SN once I get it and figure out the purity. Don't know when I'll cbt with it but it has to be soon, unless I find a good hiding place for it before my room search. Thanks for reading my little rant, this is my first time posting here but I've been in the shadows for a bit before signing up.

 

[eupdplishlp]

I've been on lexipro for a long time now(8+ years) and a couple years ago after being "maxed out" on 20mg my psychiatrist upped my dosage to 25mg. Supposedly lexipro is an effective treatment for ocd at higher doses and other ocd medications would interact with my other medications I already take. It helped a bit until it didn't, long story short I swallowed magnets and lost about 3ft of small intestine. That wasn't an attempt, just me being stupid and ocd. After some more time I ended up getting a new psychiatrist who decided to up the dosage to 40mg. It's been about a week of being on this new dose and all it does is make me a zombie. My interests are no longer interesting and I have barely any energy to go volunteering at the zoo like I used to do.
My new psychiatrist suggested that I get a new therapist that specializes in ocd but i am so done with therapy. It doesn't help and everyone around me just doesn't seem to understand that it doesn't help. I've been in therapy for almost 10 years now and have had 8-9 therapists. Each time they end up telling me they aren't qualified for me and give me a referral to the next therapist who'll also just tell me to go somewhere else. My psychiatrist said that it's normal for therapist not to match a lot of the time but at this point I am tired of this system, still she insisted but I refused.
Therapy only works if the person actually wants help but what if I don't want help anymore? My father is actively trying to get me institutionalized for maybe that's where I belong. I know I will be institutionalized for the next time I go to the psych ward because they tried last time. I think I found a source of SN but I am still a bit unsure of the purity. I don't have access to any medication myself because my father keeps it locked up behind a door. I could probably try to break the lock on the door but there are cameras he checks while he's gone. I might just pick up pepto, fast, and hope for the best raw dogging the SN. I once came very close to ctb with Tylenol pm however I was found by my dad. If he didn't find me I would have succeeded. Don't ask me about how much I took but it was close to 100 pills at 500mg, the pm part was probably what made it more successful but I don't remember what makes the pm. I passed out and woke up a week later then sent off to the loony bin for a month.
I'll update about the SN once I get it and figure out the purity. Don't know when I'll cbt with it but it has to be soon, unless I find a good hiding place for it before my room search. Thanks for reading my little rant, this is my first time posting here but I've been in the shadows for a bit before signing up.

I was put on quetiapine 200mg. Made me feel exact same, light headed, tired, no interest in the things i loved, no motivation. It wasn't anything wrong with me it was the shitty drug. If it made me feel like a zombie I knew it wasn't for me as when I lowered it I was good. I tried escitalopram, citalopram, sertraline, propranolol, mirtazapine. everything has a zombie level which for me I know means it's too much but I'm not a doctor so defo ask one if you feel you can relate. 3ft of intesine is mental bro I've not heard of that one before. would you mind me asking how come the magnets did that or is that too personal?

 

[collapsing_lungs]

I was put on quetiapine 200mg. Made me feel exact same, light headed, tired, no interest in the things i loved, no motivation. It wasn't anything wrong with me it was the shitty drug. If it made me feel like a zombie I knew it wasn't for me as when I lowered it I was good. I tried escitalopram, citalopram, sertraline, propranolol, mirtazapine. everything has a zombie level which for me I know means it's too much but I'm not a doctor so defo ask one if you feel you can relate. 3ft of intesine is mental bro I've not heard of that one before. would you mind me asking how come the magnets did that or is that too personal?

I've tried getting off lexipro, slowly tapering off but still got withdrawals so bad that my doctors advised me to stay on it. For the intestines the magnets linked together through the walls of the intestines causing holes inside them. Went to the hospital because of the pain because I totally forgot about the magnets. Was on pto for over two weeks + bowl prep before surgery that ended up being 6 hours long compared to the less than one hour surgery the surgeon thought it would take. Almost needed one of those poop bag things but my stomach was empty from not eating. Lucky me.

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

I've tried getting off lexipro, slowly tapering off but still got withdrawals so bad that my doctors advised me to stay on it.

Im not an expert on lowering the dosage because i just stopped taking mine medication and didnt feel a thing (even while taking it i didnt feel anything) but is just staying on it really the best option rather than slowly lowering dosage and managing withdrawals till u find the perfect amount ? it feels like he is just keeping your addiction. Might be my distrust to medical staff but u can give your input on that.
Much love

 

[eupdplishlp]

I've tried getting off lexipro, slowly tapering off but still got withdrawals so bad that my doctors advised me to stay on it. For the intestines the magnets linked together through the walls of the intestines causing holes inside them. Went to the hospital because of the pain because I totally forgot about the magnets. Was on pto for over two weeks + bowl prep before surgery that ended up being 6 hours long compared to the less than one hour surgery the surgeon thought it would take. Almost needed one of those poop bag things but my stomach was empty from not eating. Lucky me.

i had withdrawls for 6 months coming off it. how long did your doctor go weaning you off them? and dammmmnnnn bro you could be stunt actor easy pulling that

 

[collapsing_lungs]

Im not an expert on lowering the dosage because i just stopped taking mine medication and didnt feel a thing (even while taking it i didnt feel anything) but is just staying on it really the best option rather than slowly lowering dosage and managing withdrawals till u find the perfect amount ? it feels like he is just keeping your addiction. Might be my distrust to medical staff but u can give your input on that.
Much love

It is literally an addiction fueled by medicine companies wanting to profit off the mentally unwell. Lexipro used to work for me when I first began taking it. Now I depend on it. It was like it being my crutch to being my legs if that analogy makes sense. Slowly lowering the dose is what tapering was. I was at 20mg then 15mg then 10mg and then I started getting withdrawal at that dose. I tried to power through and I got off of it for about 3 days until I had to go to hospital for the withdrawals.

i had withdrawls for 6 months coming off it. how long did your doctor go weaning you off them? and dammmmnnnn bro you could be stunt actor easy pulling that

The withdrawal was too much for me to handle because I already had medical conditions that made it dangerous like a high heart rate and unable to eat.

 

[Ch4in3dcr0w]

i had withdrawls for 6 months coming off it. how long did your doctor go weaning you off them? and dammmmnnnn bro you could be stunt actor easy pulling that

Im sorry if u took it the wrong way but i wasnt taking lexipro i wrote mine medication that was something different for completle something else used it as more of my own personal experience to get the point across that im not an good guide on those things because i just randomly dropped my medication. I guess i should have made that alot more clear once again im sorry.

It is literally an addiction fueled by medicine companies wanting to profit off the mentally unwell. Lexipro used to work for me when I first began taking it. Now I depend on it. It was like it being my crutch to being my legs if that analogy makes sense. Slowly lowering the dose is what tapering was. I was at 20mg then 15mg then 10mg and then I started getting withdrawal at that dose. I tried to power through and I got off of it for about 3 days until I had to go to hospital for the withdrawals.

Good to hear someone has the same thoughts on these things. i think if u dont have withdrawals u should take the 15mg and contact another doctor so u can get his persective i dont really trust staying on such a high dosage will be good for you for your health in a long run.
Much love

 

[eupdplishlp]

It is literally an addiction fueled by medicine companies wanting to profit off the mentally unwell. Lexipro used to work for me when I first began taking it. Now I depend on it. It was like it being my crutch to being my legs if that analogy makes sense. Slowly lowering the dose is what tapering was. I was at 20mg then 15mg then 10mg and then I started getting withdrawal at that dose. I tried to power through and I got off of it for about 3 days until I had to go to hospital for the withdrawals.

The withdrawal was too much for me to handle because I already had medical conditions that made it dangerous like a high heart rate and unable to eat.

dammmnnnn that is interesting for me it made my heart worse so had to come off it as I got palpitations. also they do ecg every 6 months on quetiapine in uk casue of the heart side effects it can cause which is on the leaflet. so im very confused why your doctor would keep you ON them with heart problems

 

[PepperJam]

I've been thinking for a long time about lexapro. It's just so hard to afford any kind of treatment. It looks like I can finally afford going to the doctor and I desperately need anti-depressants, anxiety meds, and possibly anti-psychotics because I think I'm having early symptoms of psychotic depression. Fun.

Edit: if you couldn't guess, I live in the USA. Land of the "free" where basic healthcare is a luxury product.

 

[Ligottian]

I've been thinking for a long time about lexapro. It's just so hard to afford any kind of treatment. It looks like I can finally afford going to the doctor and I desperately need anti-depressants, anxiety meds, and possibly anti-psychotics because I think I'm having early symptoms of psychotic depression. Fun.

Edit: if you couldn't guess, I live in the USA. Land of the "free" where basic healthcare is a luxury product.

This is unrelated to suicide, but just yesterday I watched a Youtube video by an uninsured man who said he got a $40,000 plus bill from a hospital for about 4 hours of treatment after an accident.