Venting I survived

[Deleted member 65988]

No, there wasn't any pain other than stomach pain due to the anxiety induced by the nausea.

Hold on, how bad was the stomach pain anyway? I do recall a user on another thread stating it felt like a hot coal and could it possible that everything you were feeling was aggravated by the anxiety you were feeling.

 

[DreamEnd]

I'm trying my best to answer all of the questions, I'm really tired now but I want everyone to be informed about what happened (at least, what i can remember) and give advice. I should probably sleep right now and rest but I'm determined to answer as much as I can, especially after the outage a lot of people are feeling more suicidal I think.

The doctor didn't identify anything that would be the cause of any long term damage, like I said, the hospital is across the street so I got saved quick enough to prevent any damage being done on my body.

are you good now? feeling any better?

 

[アホペンギン]

are you good now? feeling any better?

I'm feeling how I normally feel, very suicidal and thinking about it all the time. Also disappointed in myself but that won't last for long, hopefully.

Hold on, how bad was the stomach pain anyway? I do recall a user on another thread stating it felt like a hot coal and could it possible that everything you were feeling was aggravated by the anxiety you were feeling.

I don't remember much from that day but I do remember that it was painful because of the anxiety.

 

[DreamEnd]

I'm feeling how I normally feel, very suicidal and thinking about it all the time. Also disappointed in myself but that won't last for long, hopefully.

I don't remember much from that day but I do remember that it was painful because of the anxiety.

Do you think you would have died if you didn't call the ambulance? I thought vomiting doesn't necessarily mean failure since you absorb some of it anyway?

 

[アホペンギン]

Do you think you would have died if you didn't call the ambulance? I thought vomiting doesn't necessarily mean failure since you absorb some of it anyway?

Yeah, apparantly I did absorb enough of the SN for it to be lethal but I didn't know that so I called the ambulance. Its never possible to know how much is left. And I even vomited until nothing came out anymore so I was convinced that there wasn't enough SN left. So I probably would've died.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Yeah, apparantly I did absorb enough of the SN for it to be lethal but I didn't know that so I called the ambulance. Its never possible to know how much is left. And I even vomited until nothing came out anymore so I was convinced that there wasn't enough SN left. So I probably would've died.

That is quite something, you were basically dry heaving with nothing coming out yet you still absorbed enough to kill you but the question is how long would it have taken judging by how much was consumed and actually stayed inside your body.

 

[アホペンギン]

That is quite somewhat, you were basically dry heaving with nothing coming out yet you still absorbed enough to kill you but the question is how long would it have taken judging by how much was consumed and actually stayed inside your body.

I don't know what happened honestly, probably just luck that it got absorbed on time..

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I don't know what happened honestly, probably just luck that it got absorbed on time..

Never mind the fact that you were super nauseous the entire time, it just goes to show that even a small amount that gets into your system could get it done but you didn't know it at the time and si kicked in which is 100% understandable.

 

[DreamEnd]

I don't know what happened honestly, probably just luck that it got absorbed on time..

was there anything besides the stomach pain that was uncomfortable? tachychardia?

 

[アホペンギン]

was there anything besides the stomach pain that was uncomfortable? tachychardia?

Tachycardia, yes. I don't think I took enough propranolol but a user told me that my original amount 400mg, was overkill and recommended 80mg so I took that much instead, I will take more propranolol next time I attempt.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Tachycardia, yes. I don't think I took enough propranolol but a user told me that my original amount 400mg, was overkill and recommended 80mg so I took that much instead, I will take more propranolol next time I attempt.

Not a fun thing to go through because I have no doubt it elevates your si remarkably besides the nausea. Any idea how high it possibly was because I deal with 120bpm from time to time which can be quite annoying for me.

 

[tora]

I'm so sorry you went through this. surviving an attempt is one of the worst feelings ever. please take some time to recover before you decide to make another attempt; your body just went through a lot and you deserve to take care of yourself.
and don't feel bad about calling the ambulance; I did the exact same thing once. I overdosed on antidepressants and when I woke up a few hours later I panicked and called for help. my psychiatrist told me later that the amount I took easily could've killed me, which made me feel shitty for calling for help. but there's really nothing we can do when our instinct kicks in to protect us from ourselves.
I hope your psych ward stay isn't too bad

 

[アホペンギン]

Not a fun thing to go through because I have no doubt it elevates your si remarkably besides the nausea. Any idea how high it possibly was because I deal with 120bpm from time to time which can be quite annoying for me.

I don't remember, it was a high heart rate, though. Also, anything remotely wrong with me makes me panic a lot so that explains why my SI went up because of the tachycardia.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I don't remember, it was a high heart rate, though. Also, anything remotely wrong with me makes me panic a lot so that explains why my SI went up because of the tachycardia.

As i expected for anyone whose probably never experienced it especially with your heart going off that fast so that coupled with your anxiety forced you to call for help. Did you ever feel slightly lightheaded when your heart rate was high. Tachycardia is no joke, it isn't painful at all, just really unnerving and stressful especially for someone who is experiencing it for the 1st time.

if I recall on your thread yesterday, you mentioned that you were shaking? Any idea as why it happened.

sorry if I'm asking a lot of questions, feel free to tell me to stop but there's much to this I've learnt from.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

I think I'll go for a method that makes everyone else nauseous, and me dead! (sorry @アホペンギン bit of gallows humour there!)

 

[アホペンギン]

As i expected for anyone whose probably never experienced it especially with your heart going off that fast so that coupled with your anxiety forced you to call for help. Did you ever feel slightly lightheaded when your heart rate was high.

if I recall on your thread yesterday, you mentioned that you were shaking? Any idea as why it happened.

sorry if I'm asking a lot of questions, feel free to tell me to stop but there's much to this I've learnt from.

I don't remember how I felt but symptoms of tachycardia or an irregular heart rate include lightheadedness so I'm sure I experienced that as well.

I don't remember shaking because I was recently in a coma and forgot a lot of things but I think it was because of the anxiety induced by everything that caused me to shake like that.

 

[SN drinker]

This is why I'm gonna consume my SN in a forest with a tent and no phone with me. Thanks for sharing your experience.

 

[jessisme]

About how long from when you took the SN did you fall unconscious, do you recall? xo, j

 

[SweetSacrifice]

Your thread was the first one I've read 'live' and I was surprised how much it affected me. The not knowing was the hardest part and I was so sad your last words had been lost. Time really has been reset and although you survived, you've done so with no long term side effects, which is a relief. And you know what to change in order to be successful if you try again. And if you decide not to, that's OK too.

Try and be kind to yourself. I regretted not getting to know you when I was reading your thread and selfishly I'm glad I now have the chance to do so.

Xx

 

[アホペンギン]

This is why I'm gonna consume my SN in a forest with a tent and no phone with me. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I wish you the best with your plans.

But you should also consider the fact that you might suffer irreversible damage done on your body if you vomit too much with not enough SN in your system to kill you.

About how long from when you took the SN did you fall unconscious, do you recall? xo, j

Everything was fuzzy so I don't remember much, my metabolism is average, though and according to the PPH for the average metabolism it takes about 12 minutes to fall unconscious so it was around that much time.

Your thread was the first one I've read 'live' and I was surprised how much it affected me. The not knowing was the hardest part and I was so sad your last words had been lost. Time really has been reset and although you survived, you've done so with no long term side effects, which is a relief. And you know what to change in order to be successful if you try again. And if you decide not to, that's OK too.

Try and be kind to yourself. I regretted not getting to know you when I was reading your thread and selfishly I'm glad I now have the chance to do so.

Xx

Sorry it affected you so much, i didn't intend to make you worry about me. Also, its not selfish to be glad that someone is still alive. Its human nature to feel like that so don't worry. I will try to take care of myself despite the fact that I don't have enough support.

 

[turntechGodhead]

i am so sorry that happened n u didn't find peace, away from this world

 

[Deleted member 65988]

This is why I'm gonna consume my SN in a forest with a tent and no phone with me. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Nice username

I don't remember how I felt but symptoms of tachycardia or an irregular heart rate include lightheadedness so I'm sure I experienced that as well.

Ah, the usual things I deal with from time to time, I definitely appreciate you answering what people have asked even if it's just a few hours removed from being in a coma, this confirms benzos are probably just a luxury like many thought before

 

[M.O.N]

I'm sorry to hear that things didn't go according to plan, this whole situation is heartbreaking. I'm not sure how good the mental health professionals are where you live but I sincerely hope you're treated with kindness and dignity during your stay. I haven't been here for long but I always see your posts and I was pretty sad to hear that you were leaving so soon, but understood your reasons and hoped the best for you. I hope you find peace on both sides of this existence. welcome back. hugs.

 

[Zaphkiel]

Yeah ver good point how are you treated at the ward?

 

[Borderline]

 

[アホペンギン]

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[dead_milky]

I'm sorry for your experience. Welcome back, I guess. It was really sad to see your goodbye post. I'm glad to see you're alive, even if you'd rather not be.

The psych ward...depends on the facility. Some are okay. My friend was actually happy with her stay at one of these. Wish you the best.

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this, I always see you here and you seem to be a lovely person, I wish peace and easiness for you.

Thank you for taking the time to answer all of the questions, I'll be drinking SN soon and will definitely take benzos and more propanolol now + I also use 5mg of meto daily so I'll up the dose and take ondansetron too, I read about the mixture being effective.

 

[William01]

⁴

Nice username

Ah, the usual things I deal with from time to time, I definitely appreciate you answering what people have asked even if it's just a few hours removed from being in a coma, this confirms benzos are probably just a luxury like many thought before

I remember reading that the fast heart beat medication was not longer advised as it slows down absorption.. maybe I'm wrong. I don't get any of that type of medication, I will just have to make do with the benzos

 

[Unknown21]

Glad you're fine, welcome back bro

Can i ask how many cups did u prepare and did u vomit them all?

I'm so sorry u went through that, i hope u to get out from the psych ward asap.