i really dont want to be here anymore

[literallynoone]

sober me might be hoepful but drunk me is far far more honest about the reality of whats going on. Sorry for anyone reading this, im really drunk, i dont think this willl be legible, consider this my euolgy or something along those lines. When I'm sober I feel happy for peopel, feeling better, fidnign partners, getting their dreams fulffied. But right now, a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of vodka down I'm more honest. I still feel happy for them, ntohing makes me happier than seeing a friend do good. My mate god ENGAED FOR CHRIST SAKE> recently. But I still can't bother mysef. Works paint, about to fluke out of uni, friends are nice but they dont get it, nooen does really, meds dont really do nothin. Id honestly kill myself already but I just feel so bad if my sister was to find out. She's the only one that made me go bast 2025 and I can't do this to her. Worst part is she knows this shits. She got the university knowledge and stuff, worked for places that deal with teens with substance abuse. She knows how I feel, she feels the same. I can't fucking do it to her. I can't dude. But its not gonna get any better. I'm never gonna find love, never gonna be happy, never feel satisfied. I just wish to be happy. Idont want to be dead i just want for someone to give a fuck. Sorry for allt this, hope, no pray. I pray for you to workout better than me. Its not worth it dudes/duddets.

 

[stupid trans guy]

Honestly i get that, i feel so unloved most of the time and it sucks, but it sounds like your sister loves and cares for you dearly.
Ik im probably gonna sound like most therapists but, dont say you will never be happy, never loved, or feel satisfied. Because imo, you dont have to feel satisfied but be proud of yourself for getting accepted to college and getting a higher education, even if you flunk, bec there are more paths you can take try not to worry-but if uni id what you want keep trying to push urself to do better (unless ofc it makes it worse, ur the most important person in ur life) , try to focus on the fact that you have your sister, and she helped u get through some hard stuff, and maybe try talking to her?

 

[literallynoone]

Please please keep going, I can't fucking put moat odt it together but don't giv up dude i beg you

Honestly i get that, i feel so unloved most of the time and it sucks, but it sounds like your sister loves and cares for you dearly.
Ik im probably gonna sound like most therapists but, dont say you will never be happy, never loved, or feel satisfied. Because imo, you dont have to feel satisfied but be proud of yourself for getting accepted to college and getting a higher education, even if you flunk, bec there are more paths you can take try not to worry-but if uni id what you want keep trying to push urself to do better (unless ofc it makes it worse, ur the most important person in ur life) , try to focus on the fact that you have your sister, and she helped u get through some hard stuff, and maybe try talking to her?

I wish it was just as easy as talkit to her. But she's way to busy ro bother witb me. I appreciate the idea but jt okay