i want to die but i dont have the energy to get all of the materials

[takihorse]

im exhausted and i wish i could just go to sleep forever. i dont currently have access to the materials needed for less painful methods and im too much of a bitch to just jump off a bridge or something easy but extremely painful. i want to ctb with sn but as you all know its become harder to get, plus the right anti nausea meds that are prescription only where i live. making a doctors appointment and lying about needing anti nausea meds that she will probably not even want to give me feels too hard. i know its not impossible to get all the materials, im literally just so tired and burnt out that i feel like i physically do not have the energy to put in the effort to find sources. i wish id just get killed in a car crash or something. that way nobody would be mad at me for killing myself because it would just be an accident.

 

[soributton]

I'm in the same boat. I'm too tired to ctb and I wish something external would just happen to me but at the same time I want to be in control of when I die.