I probably won't do it. Not soon. Maybe not ever. But I want the option.
I have, on my counter:
-6 Amitriptyline 10mg tablets
-258 (roughly) 10mg Propranolol tablets
-7 Bicalutamide 50mg tablets
I have other medications too, cough medicine, a BUNCH of Spironolactone, etc. but idk how effective they would be in giving me a quick death.
As much as I'd like to, I don't have the mental freedom to just end my suffering. A lot of the time I am happy enough to justify continuing with my life but everything is going to shit. My personal life is falling apart. College, the only thing that really gives me purpose right now, is something I am currently failing at. Tomorrow, I have to meet with financial aid, my academic advisor, and god knows who else. I know that tomorrow has a high forecast to be dogshit for me and knowing I can end my suffering at anytime, that I have at least that much control, helps me mentally.
I really can't order things to kill myself. My family knows about my previous suicidal tendencies. I only have these medications that I have collected from my doctors to treat my chronic illnesses. So please tell me if they can actually do anything for me. I've been researching Propranolol and how fatal it is. I have enough to induce a lethal effect. about 2000mg, a little more, a little less. It won't be the most painless death but maybe it will be enough to end my suffering, especially if y'all can tell me what I can do to make its effects more potent.
Thank you.
I have, on my counter:
-6 Amitriptyline 10mg tablets
-258 (roughly) 10mg Propranolol tablets
-7 Bicalutamide 50mg tablets
I have other medications too, cough medicine, a BUNCH of Spironolactone, etc. but idk how effective they would be in giving me a quick death.
As much as I'd like to, I don't have the mental freedom to just end my suffering. A lot of the time I am happy enough to justify continuing with my life but everything is going to shit. My personal life is falling apart. College, the only thing that really gives me purpose right now, is something I am currently failing at. Tomorrow, I have to meet with financial aid, my academic advisor, and god knows who else. I know that tomorrow has a high forecast to be dogshit for me and knowing I can end my suffering at anytime, that I have at least that much control, helps me mentally.
I really can't order things to kill myself. My family knows about my previous suicidal tendencies. I only have these medications that I have collected from my doctors to treat my chronic illnesses. So please tell me if they can actually do anything for me. I've been researching Propranolol and how fatal it is. I have enough to induce a lethal effect. about 2000mg, a little more, a little less. It won't be the most painless death but maybe it will be enough to end my suffering, especially if y'all can tell me what I can do to make its effects more potent.
Thank you.
