A

Anon1337

Mage
Oct 1, 2018
547
I feel like I'll never CTB. I set a date before but never went through with it. I even have SN. I want to live a good life but I can't. My life is only going to get worse. Nothing has changed for over 6 years. I feel exactly the same as I did the day I joined this site. I wish I had it in me to ctb.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: kunikuzushi, grungy自殺, Professor K and 8 others
Cow

Cow

Willing to die on any given hill
Sep 23, 2020
19
Same if I had the balls to do it, I'd've done it by now. I've had 20 years of suicidal thoughts and my life gets worse over time and I'm no closer to "pulling the trigger" than I was in elementary school.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Unknown21, Praestat_Mori, TiredOfAllThis and 1 other person
U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,450
Setting dates is just setting ourselves up for a feeling of failure.

I can barely decide what I want for dinner tonight, let alone if I will hang myself days or weeks in the future.

It is my firm belief and experience that once we are ready, we will go.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Z-A, Deleted member 65988, bluebird16 and 5 others
bed

bed

CTBed
Aug 24, 2019
919
feel very similar. i'm sorry anon, being stuck in limbo is hell 🫂
 
  • Like
Reactions: Deleted member 65988, Praestat_Mori and Anon1337
A

Anon1337

Mage
Oct 1, 2018
547
I feel trapped.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: bed and Praestat_Mori
theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,020
I would also like to have a good life but it is very difficult for me. I understand that CTB day will never come. Maybe it can also be the SI
 
  • Like
Reactions: Anon1337
ctbcat

ctbcat

Yes, the everlasting contrast.
Jul 14, 2023
228
exactly how i feel... feeling suicidal is easy, but getting up and doing the suicide part? getting up and preparing, whichever way that may be, in advance? ... fucking hell.

i live life as if i will be dead soon, and yet.... each future date i set, each time i should be dead by... it passes. life feels inescapable. i wish i could just do it already.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Anon1337
slightoverlooked

slightoverlooked

Experienced
Dec 27, 2023
214
same. i feel like i have to wait till everyone hates me or my parents die. i dont want to hurt my mom.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Suicidebydeath, goodjunkies and Anon1337
E

Endofit

Get me out of here
Jan 19, 2024
69
I think we are thousands like that. The thought of disappearing is a relief, but thinking about the process is freaking me out
 
  • Like
Reactions: Anon1337
A

Anon1337

Mage
Oct 1, 2018
547
This is all a nightmare. I wish I could just get it over and done with.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Endofit

Similar threads

M
Replies
4
Views
184
Suicide Discussion
ijustwishtodie
ijustwishtodie
kamikaze_shark04
Replies
1
Views
64
Suicide Discussion
Ozzyno
Ozzyno
yellowraincoat225
Replies
0
Views
93
Suicide Discussion
yellowraincoat225
yellowraincoat225
R
Replies
5
Views
150
Suicide Discussion
waterbaby100
W