Venting Courage to CTB and jealousy

[Radiated]

Everytime I see people succeed with ending their life, I get a little jealous: I don't see myself living a fulfiling life, I never have. But I never had the courage to actually properly attempt to CTB before, and I don't know if I ever will. Could be a slight fear of death maybe, even though I logically know there's nothing waiting for me in this life, I can't bring myself to do it. I hate it. All I do is dissociate and suffer every day yet I can't get myself to do this final push.

Just wanted to vent and put my thoughts out there, since I don't see myself talking to anyone about this IRL.

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Yes, same. I feel jealous every single time.