Venting I didn't think about ctb today

[the_world_is_on_fir]

It's kinda odd. It didn't crossed my mind today. It's the first time in some months now. I don't feel like I'm healing, I'm just afraid next time I'll feel bad it will be too much. Because right now I have the resources to do it. Sometimes I think about a day last August in which it would have been perfect for me to die. Do u guys have a day I wish u would have died?

 

[GremlinCan56]

I'd say that's a good thing, if you could get a break even for one day. Sometimes I had a day I wish I died, but nowadays I'm not really particular about a time, just as long as it ends at some point.

 

[Shadows From Hell]

It comes and goes for me. When I'm at work I tend to think about it less because my mind is focused on the task at hand.

Once I get home, that's when the thoughts return. It's a never ending cycle.

 

[walliwalli]

my spring break (last week) would've been perfect. but i don't have my materials yet. taking into account birthdays of loved ones, my next good opportunity is the end of march / beginning of april, only about a two-week-long window. which is stressful to think about. so i wish i could've gone earlier, like a couple months ago.

 

[the_world_is_on_fir]

It comes and goes for me. When I'm at work I tend to think about it less because my mind is focused on the task at hand.

Once I get home, that's when the thoughts return. It's a never ending cycle.

Yeah I think I understand u. In this time I try to hang out a lot even with people I don't enjoy talking to just to think about something else. And I feel like today I finally evaded so much I didn't think about it.

my spring break (last week) would've been perfect. but i don't have my materials yet. taking into account birthdays of loved ones, my next good opportunity is the end of march / beginning of april, only about a two-week-long window. which is stressful to think about. so i wish i could've gone earlier, like a couple months ago.

Since I got my an (after lots of failed attempt) I keep saying myself "just one more day". But in the end I know I tried with some bad methods so I guess I'll try again and I think I know how to it properly now so I don't think I'll fail. Would have been much better though If I did it months ago.

I'd say that's a good thing, if you could get a break even for one day. Sometimes I had a day I wish I died, but nowadays I'm not really particular about a time, just as long as it ends at some point.

Yeah I think I also have that feeling like "it's ok to not do it today, you'll do it one day so when u will be dead some more days will not bother u"