Venting I crave physical affection

[iw2begone]

But I'm scared of it now. I have been taken advantage of many times - because I'm weak. I don't stand up for myself properly, and I trust too much that the other person is safe, and then they aren't. It's my fault, I don't set clear enough boundaries, but I also just want to be cuddled or hugged. I want my hair stroked, with unconditional love, where there is no ulterior motive. Someone with kind eyes and gentle hands.

I crave it, but in my life experience so far, my relationships and my friends, I was unable to feel that for long, if at all, before it went wrong. Surviving the day to day is so hard, I'm finding it so difficult to do this on my own, and I don't think I can for much longer. I've been on my limit for gosh knows how long now.

 

[SilentVelvet]

I think everyone longs for that, but unfortunately, most people don't really have the best intentions

 

[whorror]

It's only natural to want to be loved and cared for. I'm also on the naive side as I don't generally go out there thinking that people are there to hurt me, but it happens more often than not so I get your feeling.

We need to find our own people, but how and where? And when?

 

[iw2begone]

It's only natural to want to be loved and cared for. I'm also on the naive side as I don't generally go out there thinking that people are there to hurt me, but it happens more often than not so I get your feeling.

We need to find our own people, but how and where? And when?

If I had the answer I would share, it really feels impossible. Part of why I feel like I will CTB soon is not because I don't think I can be happy - it's that I've lost the motivation to keep trying for it. I've been let down so many times, and doing one last push feels immensely out of reach.

I like to believe most people do have good intentions at heart, and that way more people than we think struggle at how to communicate them. We are all here struggling together, and yet we get hurt by each other anyway. I can't wait to become on with the void and not feel these things anymore.

 

[avalanche.]

god i relate to this too much.
everytime i feel that i could just lay my head on their chest, they violate me so badly that i wish i never existed. i want someone to love me and for someone to care about me. i don't want to be raped forever.

 

[discernment]

I definitely relate to this a lot. I don't remember the last time I had a hug from someone. I'm traumatised from things that have happened in the past and I don't really know how to move forward from this but I crave intimacy so badly