there definitely needs to be some better way to find people that you might get along with.. all the friend-finder apps suck and so we are still left to just hope we randomly run in to people that we are compatible with.. but yeah i mean, like even if a person seems cool at first you maybe don't know what they are going to be like in all situations i guess..
lot of people have what i call "black spots" in their personality, where they might have some negative qualities (that might not be obvious at first) like maybe they pout, or lie, or get angry, or abuse you or just what ever.. and of course they aren't going to show that side of their self to you at first.. but i think you can see signs of it some times.. like if they get unnecessarily angry at the waiter in a restaurant or some thing, then that means they could get angry at you for some thing later for some thing trivial.. or you can see how they treat other people some times too..
i used to have some black spots in my personality and over time i ended up hating it.. i used to pout really bad at my friends when some thing would go wrong and i would stop talking to them for a while or do other annoying stuff back at them, but it always resulted in both of us being hurt and i finally realized "i don't want to be like this any more, this is stupid" and also thought "does EVERY person have to have stupid traits like this in their personality?!? why can't i try to be some one that doesn't have these stupid dark spots in their stupid personality and maybe i can actually try being a motherfracking decent person for once in my life", and so i slowly changed my self and now when my friends do some thing that annoys me i try to communicate with them about what it is that is bothering me instead of pouting at them and then they are wondering what they did to trigger me again..
it's also kind of lame in general how like, every one wants affection like you are talking about, but then to actually find that you have to trudge through alll these obstacles of like: finding some one, then seeing if they want a relationship, then hoping they don't have too many negative personality quirks, and hoping they are being honest about every thing, and hoping their personality clicks with your's, and so it's all kind of a big mess of hoping all of these things work out, even though both of the people want love and affection.. it's sad that it has to be complicated, but i guess it boils down to the fact that each spirit is very unique and some times it's hard to find an other soul that matches well enough to have a relationship with them i guess..
