I am ugly

[FireFox]

I know people have it worse .

I hate my appearance so much. I dont want my picture taken and it turns in to massive argument when my mum or family wants to take my photo . i hate it when people complement me saying " i am pretty "

I dont like seeing my reflection

I am a black woman, I have black hair and brown eyes. Very dull features.

I hate looking in the mirror and wish i had another face.

Sometimes i wish had had a blonde hair and blue eyes because i will look for more interesting and men will want to date me.

I am 23 and it is too late for me to meet someone. Everyone has their first boyfriend in their teens . I was always builled for how i look at school.

I am ugly people dont see what i see.

I am a nice person but it is not enough in this world. My Grandmother says i need to wear more Make up and men will want me.
I dont mind wearing make up but i need a style that suits me.

We live in a world where beauty is absolutely everything.
I cant compete in this world.

If i was attractive my life would be a lot easier i would have a boyfriend and i would belong in society.

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

aww, babe. i am so sorry that you feel this way. honestly, you are probably cute but have shitty self-esteem as we all do. you are in good company. you are not alone!

 

[WornOutLife]

I was once told "nobody is as ugly as they think" and I believe that's 100% right. You might feel ugly but I can assure you that someone, somewhere, could like you.

The hard part is to find "that person", though.

Wish you the best and hope you feel better soon.

Hugs!!

 

[Just A NPC]

I am a gay man and worked in the bar industry for years. What you are saying is absolutely true about looks. Society in some ways say it doesn't matter, but I've gotten to see how people treat others who don't fit the standard of beauty.

I have been on both sides of it, completely in shape and seen as handsome. Also have been a bigger guy and gotten to see exactly the difference. It's one of those things that are hard to unsee once you see them.

It also sets up a huge mental trap for me when I think about this. When I am being healthy, and in super good shape, I know anyone approaching me is only doing so because my outter shell has nice wrapping on it. Who I am inside doesn't matter one fucking bit.

 

[Deleted member 24434]

It's a horrible way to feel, I'm the same. And I know this probably won't change your view of yourself, but I bet you're really not ugly. And today's societies idea of 'beauty' is ridiculous anyway. All the Instagram models look like blow up dolls with zero personality, vacuous. I bet more people find you beautiful than you realise.

 

[Nymph]

I feel the same, you're nice at least but I'm ugly even on the inside:/ I'm selfish, asocial and ugly...I have a gross ass wide nose, dark hair, big ass fucking pores, literally all off my features are fucking disgusting. Everytime I see myself I want to throw up. The world only cares about how we look and it sucks

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Many people will CTB due to lost beauty due to aging including me. So always take comfort in the fact that good looking people will also CTB.

 

[AprilsBlessings]

Maybe you have BDD?

I hope you feel better soon <3

 

[Nymph]

Maybe you have BDD

Oh I definitely do:(

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

It's a horrible way to feel, I'm the same. And I know this probably won't change your view of yourself, but I bet you're really not ugly. And today's societies idea of 'beauty' is ridiculous anyway. All the Instagram models look like blow up dolls with zero personality, vacuous. I bet more people find you beautiful than you realise.

insta models all look the same. fake and boring. yawn...

 

[Nexuno]

I try to be concise...

I am 23 and it is too late for me to meet someone.

That's not true (it's not too late! lol :D)

We live in a world where beauty is absolutely everything.

That's not true.

If i was attractive my life would be a lot easier

That's not true.

i would have a boyfriend and i would belong in society.

That's not true.

 

[Nymph]

That's not true

Sorry but it is true:/ life sucks

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

Many people will CTB due to lost beauty due to aging including me. So always take comfort in the fact that good looking people will also CTB.

omg the young guys don't stare anymore. i just realized that this past year. its either bc i am getting older or cause i have gained weight. I'm not sure which. so fun!

 

[FinalDestination]

I relate so heavily with this. I have a complicated relationship with my appearance (and much more). The whole wanting a relationship/ companionship was something I thought I wanted at one point but viewing my desires objectively and from a third perspective I came to realise I just wanted what I thought I should want at my life stage. Back to the point, I would say that appearance isn't the be all and end all, if it's not that there's always something else to nitpick on the self; you can try and focus on aspects of yourself that you do like and give those more value, overtime that can be a confidence boost ( even if by a little) and sure enough that might even attract someone to you. Other things I think might be of help is experimenting with style, clothes, hair etc and looking for external inspiration from people that look like YOU it does actually help. You can dm me (or I can dm you if you want) if you want to talk more :) idk if this was helpful, but thought I'd say something anyways, it's all just what i think

 

[Nexuno]

Sorry but it is true:/ life sucks

I agree that life sucks, but most of these things appears to be true (specially when you're young), but are not true at all. It's just the way society advertise some false values...

 

[Mercury6737]

I am 23 and it is too late for me to meet someone. Everyone has their first boyfriend in their teens .

Doubt it will make you feel better, but these are both false statements. I also doubt the following will make you feel better, but some people will quickly tell you that getting a significant other (casual partner, spouse, etc.) was one of the worst decisions that they have ever made.

 

[Deleted member 24434]

Definitely. An interesting soul with wit and intellect is much more attractive.

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

I feel the same, you're nice at least but I'm ugly even on the inside:/ I'm selfish, asocial and ugly...I have a gross ass wide nose, dark hair, big ass fucking pores, literally all off my features are fucking disgusting. Everytime I see myself I want to throw up. The world only cares about how we look and it sucks

NYMPH! Noooooo!!!!

I relate so heavily with this. I have a complicated relationship with my appearance (and much more). The whole wanting a relationship/ companionship was something I thought I wanted at one point but viewing my desires objectively and from a third perspective I came to realise I just wanted what I thought I should want at my life stage. Back to the point, I would say that appearance isn't the be all and end all, if it's not that there's always something else to nitpick on the self; you can try and focus on aspects of yourself that you do like and give those more value, overtime that can be a confidence boost ( even if by a little) and sure enough that might even attract someone to you. Other things I think might be of help is experimenting with style, clothes, hair etc and looking for external inspiration from people that look like YOU it does actually help. You can dm me (or I can dm you if you want) if you want to talk more :) idk if this was helpful, but thought I'd say something anyways, it's all just what i think

that is very nice, thoughtful advice!

Definitely. An interesting soul with wit and intellect is much more attractive.

i love me some wit!

Sorry but it is true:/ life sucks

baby yoda says you are cute do you want a macaroon?

 

[StringPuppet]

All black women are beautiful

 

[raindrops]

I bet any money right now that you are beautiful!!
....I know how you feel though, I don't take selfies either, I look in the mirror and wish for so much more, better skin, blue eyes, I wish my hair wasn't a mousy brown, on a website they described it as a dull colour, wtf. I have big ears too! No really, they are biiig. I have never said that out loud or typed it before, I cannot wear my hair up. I don't even know how to do hair styles!
As for makeup, I put it on very lightly, not much, nothing bold, you don't have to put makeup on, some men hate it.

You know what I did? I stopped looking at people like the Kardashians, I do not follow them on any media, I stopped watching programmes that have those fake "beauties" in them, I could see it was mind-controlling me to believe I am not worthy. I say to myself maybe I don't wear bold makeup, maybe I don't do my hair, maybe I don't get crap done like lip fillers, fake eyelashes. And that's it, I'm real, nothing fake and that is true beauty.
You be you, don't think about those fake assholes.

 

[stygal]

I'm sorry you feel this way @FireFox
If you truly suffer from BDD nobody can really help you. The only thing you can do is learning to shift your perspective to maybe the tiny/"minuscule" things you do like/tolerate about yourself and start from there.

When it comes to relationships I agree that having being good-looking in a "standard" way is definitely an advantage but it's not the only thing people notice when they meet others for the first time.
Having a good sense of styling, humor, being confident, charismatic, intelligent, empathetic, easy going, etc. can make up a lot for the physical traits one might (feel) one lacks.

At the end of the day nobody wants to be with a dull/uninteresting "puppet" but with a human being they can connect with.

In high school and at uni I've seen lots of couples form out of "ordinary" looking people who happen to like the same stuff and be able to laugh together. The more out-going you were the bigger the chance was you'd find a partner.

 

[Nexuno]

You know what I did? I stopped looking at people like the Kardashians, I do not follow them on any media, I stopped watching programmes that have those fake "beauties"

Clap, clap...

I say to myself maybe I don't wear bold makeup, maybe I don't do my hair, maybe I don't get crap done like lip fillers, fake eyelashes.

Clap, clap, clap...

And that's it, I'm real, nothing fake and that is true beauty.
You be you, don't think about those fake assholes.

Clap, clap, clap, standing ovation! ^_^

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

All black women are beautiful

Hell yes!

I bet any money right now that you are beautiful!!
....I know how you feel though, I don't take selfies either, I look in the mirror and wish for so much more, better skin, blue eyes, I wish my hair wasn't a mousy brown, on a website they described it as a dull colour, wtf. I have big ears too! No really, they are biiig. I have never said that out loud or typed it before, I cannot wear my hair up. I don't even know how to do hair styles!
As for makeup, I put it on very lightly, not much, nothing bold, you don't have to put makeup on, some men hate it.

You know what I did? I stopped looking at people like the Kardashians, I do not follow them on any media, I stopped watching programmes that have those fake "beauties" in them, I could see it was mind-controlling me to believe I am not worthy. I say to myself maybe I don't wear bold makeup, maybe I don't do my hair, maybe I don't get crap done like lip fillers, fake eyelashes. And that's it, I'm real, nothing fake and that is true beauty.
You be you, don't think about those fake assholes.

i love this!

 

[raindrops]

@Nexuno
Thank you, I felt like I derailed the thread a bit talking about how I understand where FireFox is coming from.
I think we have all felt this way at some point in our lives too, so I couldn't help but say that it is social media, it is that f*cking family the Kardashians that have caused so much self esteem issues today in younger people, well it's mostly Hollywood.
It's hard but you have to stop watching and following those people.

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

first of all - i love the caption of your avatar! it literally made me lol. second of all - yeah, def gotta ctb before all that shit you listed hits!

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Beauty fades quick like in a blink of an eye if someone even has it. i don't know it seems to me aging for both males and females is just decay and as a human ape starts to age they start to resemble a walking corpse like the living dead : not too attractive know what i mean. So that's just one of old age hells there's more like arthritis, diseases, pain ,dementia , wrinkles no energy etc. .People think they got problems when they're young? Mutliply them by a billion times worse for old age. Old age must be avoided at all costs. old age is hell.

I will CB when i go bald for sure

 

[epic]

I know people have it worse .

I hate my appearance so much. I dont want my picture taken and it turns in to massive argument when my mum or family wants to take my photo . i hate it when people complement me saying " i am pretty "

I dont like seeing my reflection

I am a black woman, I have black hair and brown eyes. Very dull features.

I hate looking in the mirror and wish i had another face.

Sometimes i wish had had a blonde hair and blue eyes because i will look for more interesting and men will want to date me.

I am 23 and it is too late for me to meet someone. Everyone has their first boyfriend in their teens . I was always builled for how i look at school.

I am ugly people dont see what i see.

I am a nice person but it is not enough in this world. My Grandmother says i need to wear more Make up and men will want me.
I dont mind wearing make up but i need a style that suits me.

We live in a world where beauty is absolutely everything.
I cant compete in this world.

If i was attractive my life would be a lot easier i would have a boyfriend and i would belong in society.

If this helps , I am a guy around your age and single . Always have been.
I try not to bother about it too much.

I'm sorry you feel this way @FireFox

Having a good sense of styling, humor, being confident, charismatic, intelligent, empathetic, easy going, etc. can make up a lot for the physical traits one might (feel) one lacks.

At the end of the day nobody wants to be with a dull/uninteresting "puppet" but with a human being they can connect with.

Spot on (atleast for me). I would go out with a not so good looking woman with a decent personality than a very attractive woman with no personality .

 

[MindFrog]

Oh dear, I hope you feel better. I would tell you to stop thinking like this,but I know how hard it is to do so. It's true that beauty is held important in society these days but just remember you are your worst critic. You're going to judge yourself harder than the others no matter what situation. Comparing yourself to models can really wreck your own beauty standard.

You may feel ugly but I'm sure not everybody thinks of you that way. I don't really know what to say anymore cause I have body issues myself. I just wish you go easy on yourself. Sending hugs .

 

[Amumu]

Yeah people usually don't understand how important being handsome or pretty is when they've not experienced being ugly.

Even in this thread I see some people who are almost invalidating stuff. Say to a homeless person that money doesn't matter, please.

The simple fact that I was an ugly teenager makes me feel I shouldn't have been born.

All black women are beautiful

That's well-intentioned, but saying banalities isn't going to help anyone, especially not OP.

I am a gay man and worked in the bar industry for years. What you are saying is absolutely true about looks. Society in some ways say it doesn't matter, but I've gotten to see how people treat others who don't fit the standard of beauty.

I have been on both sides of it, completely in shape and seen as handsome. Also have been a bigger guy and gotten to see exactly the difference. It's one of those things that are hard to unsee once you see them.

It also sets up a huge mental trap for me when I think about this. When I am being healthy, and in super good shape, I knhoow anyone approaching me is only doing so because my outter shell has nice wrapping on it. Who I am inside doesn't matter one fucking bit.

I couldn't have put it better myself. Thanks.

Now I didn't find the treatment for DM Phobia, I only know it ruined my life and I try to emphasise with you, OP.
Even if you have it, it doesn't mean that people consider you ugly, though.

 

[adam&eve]

Many people will CTB due to lost beauty due to aging including me. So always take comfort in the fact that good looking people will also CTB.

People who are pretty always stay pretty even when they age, they are prettier than people their age who were never beautiful to begin with...

Yeah people usually don't understand how important being handsome or pretty is when they've not experienced being ugly.

Even in this thread I see some people who are almost invalidating stuff. Say to a homeless person that money doesn't matter, please.

yes, especially in the age when everything happens on social media, and the cams are always on... so not being able to participate is in a way crippling (if someone has issues with photos of themselves being taken) ... and as a result you are viewed as not being part of a society, as a kind of a social weirdo.