Venting I am subhuman, a tool for others. Designed only for menial labor.

[dragonofenvy]

I've felt subhuman for a long time. People have generally only interacted with me because they want something from me, not because of the person I am. I've had a couple of fleeting relationships with people that were genuine friendships, but they were short. Every other time it's purely a transactional relationship, they want a service from me and I allow them to have it thinking I'll be seen as a person if I appease them. I'm just being used.

A bit of context before I continue: I work a metal casting job. It's another shitty job in a string of shitty jobs I've worked but it's the best one so far. It's just me and my supervisor on my shift so I don't have to deal with tons of coworkers. I keep my head down, fill my quota, and go home all without having to speak a single word. Lonely, but it beats being berated like I was at my old jobs. My supervisor hates his job too so there's that. It's the same task each day making the same motions. It becomes a sweatshop throughout most of the year, getting up to 130+ degrees (54C) which is pretty brutal but in the autumn and winter it's fine. It's an easy job, and for what I do the pay is alright. Sure it isn't enough for total financial security but it's okay for now. It's just so boring, so pointless and meaningless. I've been making fucking cupholder frames for rich people's Teslas. Hundreds each day. Only cupholders for months. Does this sound like a meaningful and fulfilling career? I don't think it does.

Our plant manager had a big plant-wide meeting today since it's worldwide mental health day, and what better way to celebrate than to kick the meeting off than to tell us that we're still on a 32-hour schedule with possible future cuts. He then bragged that the company was still raking in millions and profits. Next up was the mental health stuff and how it was important to maintain because, and I'm not making this up "We want you here. You keep us going. We need you to take care of yourselves so you can keep coming in and keep up production because you're the reason we're still here." Then proceeded to tell us about a free app we can download that can help us with burnout. Workplace burnout is caused by… well, the workplace but I'm already closing in on essay length again so I won't go into it. He's just checking the boxes corporate tells him to. I guess I don't blame him.

My supervisor then asked at the end "What incentive do employees have to stay? We've already lost a lot of people. They're going to different jobs to get the 40 hours since they can't afford to work 32 and now we're looking at more cuts." To which my manager replied, "We're working on that, but we think that we're a good company and that people like it here enough and are loyal." He then went on to say "I want to work for you, I don't want you to work for me." and "I want everyone to have a voice and I will make sure you do." I wish the guy wouldn't spew stuff about how we're valued and actually do something to show that we are. Leaving a box of donuts every month in the cafeteria doesn't make me feel valuable, nor do your stupid meetings where you tell us how valuable we are because we made profits and NOT because our jobs add value to the world (they don't). Like what the hell kind of speech is this? Is my attitude just shit? Should I feel loyal and valued for doing a menial task for low pay?

I talked to a friend on discord about this, trying to phrase it in a light-hearted "haha my manager is out of touch lol" kind of way and the immediate response was "Either you need to learn to deal with your job and not complain about it or find another one." Gee, thanks. Strange how when he and the other people in my group talk about stuff way worse than that they're almost always supported within the hour, but if I do it this happens. A couple of hours later he sends me stuff about how he's progressing in his career and it's like fuck off dude I'm living in a satire skit this isn't possibly real no way you just did that.

I wasn't even mad at my manager, I'm mad at my friend for his dismissal It confirmed my suspicions that I'm not a person because nobody's treated me like one. I'm the guy who shows up and meets the quota, then I'm the guy who's the weirdo loner who makes weird but funny jokes and is amusing to push around. My discord group are the only people I have, and this is the way I'm treated. I can't even be seen as a normal person outside my soulless job. Despite this, I can't stay angry. I don't even know how I'm feeling about it a couple of hours later. I want to be pissed but I just feel nothing. It's probably the alexithymia.

I wished that on my way home that I got hit by a drunk driver or managed to have molten metal land on me while working. That's how shitty it feels. Ranting about it helped though. I'll probably just stay clear of my discord group until my bitterness towards them fades in a couple of days.

I wish I didn't rely on others for my self-worth, but I've felt worthless forever. It's the baseline for me, and I want to say that I'm a good person despite how others view me but I'm unable to see myself as such. What are you supposed to do? Does anyone else here feel similar?

Your whole life you're told you can be great, but what happens when you become a tool for everyone? What do you do when you're expected to just shut up and do your crappy job and not complain to anyone? What do you do when you're screaming in silence where letting out the smallest whimper makes others think you're a meek puppy without ever considering the amount of strength it takes to project the strength and dependability of a wolf day by day? I'm tired of putting on the facade. I'm tired of earning a pittance in soulless jobs for other's profits knowing that I won't ever earn enough to go back to college to have the opportunity to not be viewed as someone with such little value that they "deserve" a shit job and thereby the shit value society places on you. I wanted to work in computer science, but unfortunately, bad luck happened. I feel so much bitterness over it every damn day. Every time I wake up, and every night I try to sleep I torture myself with the thoughts that I could've been working a respected career that I enjoyed and paid decently. I think I'll have to learn to be content with I have. If only I knew how.

Sorry for the long post again, I'll try to keep them shorter in the future if I can. I spent two hours condensing it since it used to be 2,500 words and now it's half. I tried to focus purely on my job but ended up getting into other aspects. I've got a lot of stuff on my mind I guess. Maybe some of you like long posts idk. If you actually read through the whole thing thank you. I hope my experience was able to help you in some way or was relatable to you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

There's no need to apologise. Here is the place to rant. I relate to a lot of this. I worked in retail for 10 years and hated it. My major reason for wanting to CTB is the fear of returning to that life. I'm freelance in a creative job at the moment but it's so precarious and I'm not fast enough at it for it to be financially stable enough. Plus- honestly, while this is actually my 'dream' job- or, as close to it as I'm likely to get, it's not ideal. I'm so tired after working 10-13 hour days for 72 days straight- no break and that will continue for the next few weeks.

I have a similar experience to you that- when I do complain about it, I'm either met with ridiculous platitudes and way out suggestions- like- 'you could quit and become a fighter pilot'. Like- where the hell did that come from? At 43, unfit and unable to even drive- do you really think piloting a complex aircraft stuffed with ammunition is my natural vocation?!! I think you're right though- people simply don't want to hear about it. Yet- they'll still rant on about this or that at work and expect sympathy. It really annoys me too.

I think the worst thing is- it's just seen as normal. My Dad will just tell me he hated his job too. Like- that's just what is supposed to happen.

Not that it helps but I really sympathise. Do you ever read @thinkkank 's thread? I think you would enjoy it...

The Further Adventures of Captain Fuck-up

Gather round Gang!! Ol' Cappy has some stories from his new job that he wants to share. Guaranteed to amaze, amuse and astound! But first, lets build the foundation for our story by talking about Planet Bungle. See, Cappy isn't human. He's an alien from the Planet Bungle. Planet Bungle was home...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Yes, we are just cogs in the machine of society.
I've hated every single job I've had.
Worked my ass off for little money and always got zero thanks for it.
It's only natural to be pissed off with this wage-slave society.

 

[Meditation guide]

I've felt subhuman for a long time. People have generally only interacted with me because they want something from me, not because of the person I am. I've had a couple of fleeting relationships with people that were genuine friendships, but they were short. Every other time it's purely a transactional relationship, they want a service from me and I allow them to have it thinking I'll be seen as a person if I appease them. I'm just being used.

A bit of context before I continue: I work a metal casting job. It's another shitty job in a string of shitty jobs I've worked but it's the best one so far. It's just me and my supervisor on my shift so I don't have to deal with tons of coworkers. I keep my head down, fill my quota, and go home all without having to speak a single word. Lonely, but it beats being berated like I was at my old jobs. My supervisor hates his job too so there's that. It's the same task each day making the same motions. It becomes a sweatshop throughout most of the year, getting up to 130+ degrees (54C) which is pretty brutal but in the autumn and winter it's fine. It's an easy job, and for what I do the pay is alright. Sure it isn't enough for total financial security but it's okay for now. It's just so boring, so pointless and meaningless. I've been making fucking cupholder frames for rich people's Teslas. Hundreds each day. Only cupholders for months. Does this sound like a meaningful and fulfilling career? I don't think it does.

Our plant manager had a big plant-wide meeting today since it's worldwide mental health day, and what better way to celebrate than to kick the meeting off than to tell us that we're still on a 32-hour schedule with possible future cuts. He then bragged that the company was still raking in millions and profits. Next up was the mental health stuff and how it was important to maintain because, and I'm not making this up "We want you here. You keep us going. We need you to take care of yourselves so you can keep coming in and keep up production because you're the reason we're still here." Then proceeded to tell us about a free app we can download that can help us with burnout. Workplace burnout is caused by… well, the workplace but I'm already closing in on essay length again so I won't go into it. He's just checking the boxes corporate tells him to. I guess I don't blame him.

My supervisor then asked at the end "What incentive do employees have to stay? We've already lost a lot of people. They're going to different jobs to get the 40 hours since they can't afford to work 32 and now we're looking at more cuts." To which my manager replied, "We're working on that, but we think that we're a good company and that people like it here enough and are loyal." He then went on to say "I want to work for you, I don't want you to work for me." and "I want everyone to have a voice and I will make sure you do." I wish the guy wouldn't spew stuff about how we're valued and actually do something to show that we are. Leaving a box of donuts every month in the cafeteria doesn't make me feel valuable, nor do your stupid meetings where you tell us how valuable we are because we made profits and NOT because our jobs add value to the world (they don't). Like what the hell kind of speech is this? Is my attitude just shit? Should I feel loyal and valued for doing a menial task for low pay?

I talked to a friend on discord about this, trying to phrase it in a light-hearted "haha my manager is out of touch lol" kind of way and the immediate response was "Either you need to learn to deal with your job and not complain about it or find another one." Gee, thanks. Strange how when he and the other people in my group talk about stuff way worse than that they're almost always supported within the hour, but if I do it this happens. A couple of hours later he sends me stuff about how he's progressing in his career and it's like fuck off dude I'm living in a satire skit this isn't possibly real no way you just did that.

I wasn't even mad at my manager, I'm mad at my friend for his dismissal It confirmed my suspicions that I'm not a person because nobody's treated me like one. I'm the guy who shows up and meets the quota, then I'm the guy who's the weirdo loner who makes weird but funny jokes and is amusing to push around. My discord group are the only people I have, and this is the way I'm treated. I can't even be seen as a normal person outside my soulless job. Despite this, I can't stay angry. I don't even know how I'm feeling about it a couple of hours later. I want to be pissed but I just feel nothing. It's probably the alexithymia.

I wished that on my way home that I got hit by a drunk driver or managed to have molten metal land on me while working. That's how shitty it feels. Ranting about it helped though. I'll probably just stay clear of my discord group until my bitterness towards them fades in a couple of days.

I wish I didn't rely on others for my self-worth, but I've felt worthless forever. It's the baseline for me, and I want to say that I'm a good person despite how others view me but I'm unable to see myself as such. What are you supposed to do? Does anyone else here feel similar?

Your whole life you're told you can be great, but what happens when you become a tool for everyone? What do you do when you're expected to just shut up and do your crappy job and not complain to anyone? What do you do when you're screaming in silence where letting out the smallest whimper makes others think you're a meek puppy without ever considering the amount of strength it takes to project the strength and dependability of a wolf day by day? I'm tired of putting on the facade. I'm tired of earning a pittance in soulless jobs for other's profits knowing that I won't ever earn enough to go back to college to have the opportunity to not be viewed as someone with such little value that they "deserve" a shit job and thereby the shit value society places on you. I wanted to work in computer science, but unfortunately, bad luck happened. I feel so much bitterness over it every damn day. Every time I wake up, and every night I try to sleep I torture myself with the thoughts that I could've been working a respected career that I enjoyed and paid decently. I think I'll have to learn to be content with I have. If only I knew how.

Sorry for the long post again, I'll try to keep them shorter in the future if I can. I spent two hours condensing it since it used to be 2,500 words and now it's half. I tried to focus purely on my job but ended up getting into other aspects. I've got a lot of stuff on my mind I guess. Maybe some of you like long posts idk. If you actually read through the whole thing thank you. I hope my experience was able to help you in some way or was relatable to you.

You express yourself exceptionally well. You have lots of intelligence. I wish you had a job that let you use it. I found I was good at sales because mostly I present myself well and can express myself well to get ideas across. Most people think they would hate doing sales but it gave me a lot of satisfaction to see I was excellent at it. Everyone noticed I was good at it and that gave me lots of self confidence. I sold advertising and the money was great. I work for myself now. I think if you try to branch out into new things jobwise you might be surprised to find you can actually work at a job where you are valued as more than just a cog in a wheel. I see a lot of potential in you that is unused.

 

[dragonofenvy]

Thank you all for your kind words. It gave me the willpower to face it again today.

 

[MeltingBrain]

"We want you here. You keep us going. We need you to take care of yourselves so you can keep coming in and keep up production because you're the reason we're still here."

Lol, He should have at least tried to hide his true intentions . Totally crappy thing to say .

I talked to a friend on discord about this, trying to phrase it in a light-hearted "haha my manager is out of touch lol" kind of way and the immediate response was "Either you need to learn to deal with your job and not complain about it or find another one."

Maybe I am completely wrong on this but could it be the alexithymia which made you type something else and interpreted as something more harsher ?

A bit of context before I continue: I work a metal casting job. It's another shitty job in a string of shitty jobs I've worked but it's the best one so far. It's just me and my supervisor on my shift so I don't have to deal with tons of coworkers. I keep my head down, fill my quota, and go home all without having to speak a single word. Lonely, but it beats being berated like I was at my old jobs. My supervisor hates his job too so there's that. It's the same task each day making the same motions. It becomes a sweatshop throughout most of the year, getting up to 130+ degrees (54C) which is pretty brutal but in the autumn and winter it's fine. It's an easy job, and for what I do the pay is alright. Sure it isn't enough for total financial security but it's okay for now. It's just so boring, so pointless and meaningless. I've been making fucking cupholder frames for rich people's Teslas. Hundreds each day. Only cupholders for months. Does this sound like a meaningful and fulfilling career? I don't think it does.

I have lot of respect for people who do these jobs _/\_ .

 

[dragonofenvy]

Lol, He should have at least tried to hide his true intentions . Totally crappy thing to say .

Maybe I am completely wrong on this but could it be the alexithymia which made you type something else and interpreted as something more harsher ?

I have lot of respect for people who do these jobs _/\_ .

I looked back at the chat log and no, I don't think the alexithymia had anything to do with it. Maybe he was having a bad day. I've complained occasionally about my job to the guy in the past. Maybe he's just tired of it.


Also, while I'm here I'll throw in a little update. Turns out that today half the plant got laid off. Not me though; guess I'm special. The reasoning for it is that it was "best for us" and that it was a financial decision because if they kept them they wouldn't be able to continue running. Now that half the people are gone next month we resume our 40 hour work weeks. This coming the day after he gives his talk about mental health and stuff. Like I've said before, I feel like I live in a satire skit and none of this is real sometimes.

My supervisor has an interview at a new job. Then it'll be just me in the casting area. They might make me into a supervisor or bring someone else in. I don't want to be a supervisor cause it pays 5% more for triple the work. I can't keep my head down anymore either. I'll look around for other jobs again this week or maybe see what my company decides to do with me when my supervisor is gone. There isn't much opportunity here besides a soup factory and a bunch of stuff I need a degree for. I don't really care what happens honestly. If they lay me off too when he's gone it'd be a relief. Maybe what I need to do is just take like, a month of being unemployed before going back to it again. I'd need the time to pass the drug test anyways. For now though I'll keep going hour by hour day by day.

 

[cosifantutti]

I've felt subhuman for a long time. People have generally only interacted with me because they want something from me, not because of the person I am. I've had a couple of fleeting relationships with people that were genuine friendships, but they were short. Every other time it's purely a transactional relationship, they want a service from me and I allow them to have it thinking I'll be seen as a person if I appease them. I'm just being used.

A bit of context before I continue: I work a metal casting job. It's another shitty job in a string of shitty jobs I've worked but it's the best one so far. It's just me and my supervisor on my shift so I don't have to deal with tons of coworkers. I keep my head down, fill my quota, and go home all without having to speak a single word. Lonely, but it beats being berated like I was at my old jobs. My supervisor hates his job too so there's that. It's the same task each day making the same motions. It becomes a sweatshop throughout most of the year, getting up to 130+ degrees (54C) which is pretty brutal but in the autumn and winter it's fine. It's an easy job, and for what I do the pay is alright. Sure it isn't enough for total financial security but it's okay for now. It's just so boring, so pointless and meaningless. I've been making fucking cupholder frames for rich people's Teslas. Hundreds each day. Only cupholders for months. Does this sound like a meaningful and fulfilling career? I don't think it does.

Our plant manager had a big plant-wide meeting today since it's worldwide mental health day, and what better way to celebrate than to kick the meeting off than to tell us that we're still on a 32-hour schedule with possible future cuts. He then bragged that the company was still raking in millions and profits. Next up was the mental health stuff and how it was important to maintain because, and I'm not making this up "We want you here. You keep us going. We need you to take care of yourselves so you can keep coming in and keep up production because you're the reason we're still here." Then proceeded to tell us about a free app we can download that can help us with burnout. Workplace burnout is caused by… well, the workplace but I'm already closing in on essay length again so I won't go into it. He's just checking the boxes corporate tells him to. I guess I don't blame him.

My supervisor then asked at the end "What incentive do employees have to stay? We've already lost a lot of people. They're going to different jobs to get the 40 hours since they can't afford to work 32 and now we're looking at more cuts." To which my manager replied, "We're working on that, but we think that we're a good company and that people like it here enough and are loyal." He then went on to say "I want to work for you, I don't want you to work for me." and "I want everyone to have a voice and I will make sure you do." I wish the guy wouldn't spew stuff about how we're valued and actually do something to show that we are. Leaving a box of donuts every month in the cafeteria doesn't make me feel valuable, nor do your stupid meetings where you tell us how valuable we are because we made profits and NOT because our jobs add value to the world (they don't). Like what the hell kind of speech is this? Is my attitude just shit? Should I feel loyal and valued for doing a menial task for low pay?

I talked to a friend on discord about this, trying to phrase it in a light-hearted "haha my manager is out of touch lol" kind of way and the immediate response was "Either you need to learn to deal with your job and not complain about it or find another one." Gee, thanks. Strange how when he and the other people in my group talk about stuff way worse than that they're almost always supported within the hour, but if I do it this happens. A couple of hours later he sends me stuff about how he's progressing in his career and it's like fuck off dude I'm living in a satire skit this isn't possibly real no way you just did that.

I wasn't even mad at my manager, I'm mad at my friend for his dismissal It confirmed my suspicions that I'm not a person because nobody's treated me like one. I'm the guy who shows up and meets the quota, then I'm the guy who's the weirdo loner who makes weird but funny jokes and is amusing to push around. My discord group are the only people I have, and this is the way I'm treated. I can't even be seen as a normal person outside my soulless job. Despite this, I can't stay angry. I don't even know how I'm feeling about it a couple of hours later. I want to be pissed but I just feel nothing. It's probably the alexithymia.

I wished that on my way home that I got hit by a drunk driver or managed to have molten metal land on me while working. That's how shitty it feels. Ranting about it helped though. I'll probably just stay clear of my discord group until my bitterness towards them fades in a couple of days.

I wish I didn't rely on others for my self-worth, but I've felt worthless forever. It's the baseline for me, and I want to say that I'm a good person despite how others view me but I'm unable to see myself as such. What are you supposed to do? Does anyone else here feel similar?

Your whole life you're told you can be great, but what happens when you become a tool for everyone? What do you do when you're expected to just shut up and do your crappy job and not complain to anyone? What do you do when you're screaming in silence where letting out the smallest whimper makes others think you're a meek puppy without ever considering the amount of strength it takes to project the strength and dependability of a wolf day by day? I'm tired of putting on the facade. I'm tired of earning a pittance in soulless jobs for other's profits knowing that I won't ever earn enough to go back to college to have the opportunity to not be viewed as someone with such little value that they "deserve" a shit job and thereby the shit value society places on you. I wanted to work in computer science, but unfortunately, bad luck happened. I feel so much bitterness over it every damn day. Every time I wake up, and every night I try to sleep I torture myself with the thoughts that I could've been working a respected career that I enjoyed and paid decently. I think I'll have to learn to be content with I have. If only I knew how.

Sorry for the long post again, I'll try to keep them shorter in the future if I can. I spent two hours condensing it since it used to be 2,500 words and now it's half. I tried to focus purely on my job but ended up getting into other aspects. I've got a lot of stuff on my mind I guess. Maybe some of you like long posts idk. If you actually read through the whole thing thank you. I hope my experience was able to help you in some way or was relatable to you.

Your employers sound awful. It must be so hard getting through your days. I'm sorry I can't offer any advice but unfortunately we live in a crappy world. Luck is a big part of it.

I really hope things improve some way.

Btw are all these cup holders for Tesla?
Take care x

 

[dragonofenvy]

Your employers sound awful. It must be so hard getting through your days. I'm sorry I can't offer any advice but unfortunately we live in a crappy world. Luck is a big part of it.

I really hope things improve some way.

Btw are all these cup holders for Tesla?
Take care x

Thank you.

Yes. Specifically the frames for the cup holders. They get shipped and someone else makes the rest then they ship them to Tesla. We make different parts for different companies. I used to only do stuff for Harley Davidson as well as a medical place and briefly I did a few things for the military since they has to choose between me and a guy on meth to make them so they chose me. I've worked on all the shifts except 3rd shift when they needed me to and covered for two other departments when they asked. Lately though there hasn't been any orders. So it's just been cupholder frames. 750+ per day. I'm amazed that Tesla needs hundreds of thousands of them. I bet most people don't know all the components that go into making things and how many people it takes. I've casted little tiny frames that go to power tools even. One drill probably takes 13 people from 4 US states and 3 different countries to make (US, China, and Germany for that specific one). I'll probably only do this till the end of the year because then my PTO resets, then when I quit they have to pay out the five days I'd get. After that I don't know.

 

[cosifantutti]

Thank you.

Yes. Specifically the frames for the cup holders. They get shipped and someone else makes the rest then they ship them to Tesla. We make different parts for different companies. I used to only do stuff for Harley Davidson as well as a medical place and briefly I did a few things for the military since they has to choose between me and a guy on meth to make them so they chose me. I've worked on all the shifts except 3rd shift when they needed me to and covered for two other departments when they asked. Lately though there hasn't been any orders. So it's just been cupholder frames. 750+ per day. I'm amazed that Tesla needs hundreds of thousands of them. I bet most people don't know all the components that go into making things and how many people it takes. I've casted little tiny frames that go to power tools even. One drill probably takes 13 people from 4 US states and 3 different countries to make (US, China, and Germany for that specific one). I'll probably only do this till the end of the year because then my PTO resets, then when I quit they have to pay out the five days I'd get. After that I don't know.

It's awful. Rich people buy expensive stuff and don't give a toss about the workers. I can imagine it's soul destroying.



I live in Scotland. What does PTO stand for?

Well, I'm glad you weren't laid off but I hope you get something much better.

 

[Orbitc]

I've felt subhuman for a long time. People have generally only interacted with me because they want something from me, not because of the person I am. I've had a couple of fleeting relationships with people that were genuine friendships, but they were short. Every other time it's purely a transactional relationship, they want a service from me and I allow them to have it thinking I'll be seen as a person if I appease them. I'm just being used.

A bit of context before I continue: I work a metal casting job. It's another shitty job in a string of shitty jobs I've worked but it's the best one so far. It's just me and my supervisor on my shift so I don't have to deal with tons of coworkers. I keep my head down, fill my quota, and go home all without having to speak a single word. Lonely, but it beats being berated like I was at my old jobs. My supervisor hates his job too so there's that. It's the same task each day making the same motions. It becomes a sweatshop throughout most of the year, getting up to 130+ degrees (54C) which is pretty brutal but in the autumn and winter it's fine. It's an easy job, and for what I do the pay is alright. Sure it isn't enough for total financial security but it's okay for now. It's just so boring, so pointless and meaningless. I've been making fucking cupholder frames for rich people's Teslas. Hundreds each day. Only cupholders for months. Does this sound like a meaningful and fulfilling career? I don't think it does.

Our plant manager had a big plant-wide meeting today since it's worldwide mental health day, and what better way to celebrate than to kick the meeting off than to tell us that we're still on a 32-hour schedule with possible future cuts. He then bragged that the company was still raking in millions and profits. Next up was the mental health stuff and how it was important to maintain because, and I'm not making this up "We want you here. You keep us going. We need you to take care of yourselves so you can keep coming in and keep up production because you're the reason we're still here." Then proceeded to tell us about a free app we can download that can help us with burnout. Workplace burnout is caused by… well, the workplace but I'm already closing in on essay length again so I won't go into it. He's just checking the boxes corporate tells him to. I guess I don't blame him.

My supervisor then asked at the end "What incentive do employees have to stay? We've already lost a lot of people. They're going to different jobs to get the 40 hours since they can't afford to work 32 and now we're looking at more cuts." To which my manager replied, "We're working on that, but we think that we're a good company and that people like it here enough and are loyal." He then went on to say "I want to work for you, I don't want you to work for me." and "I want everyone to have a voice and I will make sure you do." I wish the guy wouldn't spew stuff about how we're valued and actually do something to show that we are. Leaving a box of donuts every month in the cafeteria doesn't make me feel valuable, nor do your stupid meetings where you tell us how valuable we are because we made profits and NOT because our jobs add value to the world (they don't). Like what the hell kind of speech is this? Is my attitude just shit? Should I feel loyal and valued for doing a menial task for low pay?

I talked to a friend on discord about this, trying to phrase it in a light-hearted "haha my manager is out of touch lol" kind of way and the immediate response was "Either you need to learn to deal with your job and not complain about it or find another one." Gee, thanks. Strange how when he and the other people in my group talk about stuff way worse than that they're almost always supported within the hour, but if I do it this happens. A couple of hours later he sends me stuff about how he's progressing in his career and it's like fuck off dude I'm living in a satire skit this isn't possibly real no way you just did that.

I wasn't even mad at my manager, I'm mad at my friend for his dismissal It confirmed my suspicions that I'm not a person because nobody's treated me like one. I'm the guy who shows up and meets the quota, then I'm the guy who's the weirdo loner who makes weird but funny jokes and is amusing to push around. My discord group are the only people I have, and this is the way I'm treated. I can't even be seen as a normal person outside my soulless job. Despite this, I can't stay angry. I don't even know how I'm feeling about it a couple of hours later. I want to be pissed but I just feel nothing. It's probably the alexithymia.

I wished that on my way home that I got hit by a drunk driver or managed to have molten metal land on me while working. That's how shitty it feels. Ranting about it helped though. I'll probably just stay clear of my discord group until my bitterness towards them fades in a couple of days.

I wish I didn't rely on others for my self-worth, but I've felt worthless forever. It's the baseline for me, and I want to say that I'm a good person despite how others view me but I'm unable to see myself as such. What are you supposed to do? Does anyone else here feel similar?

Your whole life you're told you can be great, but what happens when you become a tool for everyone? What do you do when you're expected to just shut up and do your crappy job and not complain to anyone? What do you do when you're screaming in silence where letting out the smallest whimper makes others think you're a meek puppy without ever considering the amount of strength it takes to project the strength and dependability of a wolf day by day? I'm tired of putting on the facade. I'm tired of earning a pittance in soulless jobs for other's profits knowing that I won't ever earn enough to go back to college to have the opportunity to not be viewed as someone with such little value that they "deserve" a shit job and thereby the shit value society places on you. I wanted to work in computer science, but unfortunately, bad luck happened. I feel so much bitterness over it every damn day. Every time I wake up, and every night I try to sleep I torture myself with the thoughts that I could've been working a respected career that I enjoyed and paid decently. I think I'll have to learn to be content with I have. If only I knew how.

Sorry for the long post again, I'll try to keep them shorter in the future if I can. I spent two hours condensing it since it used to be 2,500 words and now it's half. I tried to focus purely on my job but ended up getting into other aspects. I've got a lot of stuff on my mind I guess. Maybe some of you like long posts idk. If you actually read through the whole thing thank you. I hope my experience was able to help you in some way or was relatable to you.

You hate your job, but you're doing something cool for a cool company. I envy you. If you worked at my job for even a day, you would have already fallen under a train and you wouldn't have cared how much it hurt))) I'm a prostitute - I get calls from 100 idiots a day who want golden showers or some other crap. So you should be more grateful to fate, at least for the fact that you are not in my place)))

 

[dragonofenvy]

It's awful. Rich people buy expensive stuff and don't give a toss about the workers. I can imagine it's soul destroying.



I live in Scotland. What does PTO stand for?

Well, I'm glad you weren't laid off but I hope you get something much better.

PTO is paid time off (vacation days). Here in the US most full time in employers offer at least 5 days (40 hours) of it. Sometimes you get more and get unpaid sick leave on time of it. I just get 5 days of it where I work along with federal holidays for about 10 days in total. Depends on the place you work. I'm certain Scotland has something like this

You hate your job, but you're doing something cool for a cool company. I envy you. If you worked at my job for even a day, you would have already fallen under a train and you wouldn't have cared how much it hurt))) I'm a prostitute - I get calls from 100 idiots a day who want golden showers or some other crap. So you should be more grateful to fate, at least for the fact that you are not in my place)))

I do think about that sometimes. It doesn't make me grateful or change my feelings about my situation, but I also don't know what its like to be in a much worse spot. You're put in a situation that words can't describe. The way you're treated… I wish nobody was treated that way. I know words are empty, but I'm sorry for what the world has put your through.

 

[cosifantutti]

Regarding PTO. In the UK people get anywhere between 25 and 40 days PTO unless they are casual workers. As far as I know most countries do this. I had been told that in the US you didn't get paid leave. That's terrible. Everybody needs a break.

Some of the PTO are Bank holidays; Christmas day, boxing Day, New years Day, Easter Monday, May holiday, August holiday and a few others. The rest which is likely to be 20+ days is taken through the year and in weeks.

You get paid for Christmas and New year surely. Five days PTO. I don't know how you survive, no holidays, paying for healthcare, not much in benefits. I don't mean to be rude but I don't think I'd like to live in the US. And the US certainly wouldn't want me.

I think I'd be living in terrible poverty in the US. If you were treated fairly your life situation would be a bit better. I don't mean you'd be fine but you wouldn't have so much of a financial struggle.

I sound very critical of the US but I'm sure you have lots of good things we don't have and I know it's one of the most popular countries to live in. I really hope you don't think I'm rubbishing your country. There are endless things in Scotland to moan about.

I do feel angry on your behalf for the way you're treated. This world is so unjust.

 

[dragonofenvy]

Regarding PTO. In the UK people get anywhere between 25 and 40 days PTO unless they are casual workers. As far as I know most countries do this. I had been told that in the US you didn't get paid leave. That's terrible. Everybody needs a break.

Some of the PTO are Bank holidays; Christmas day, boxing Day, New years Day, Easter Monday, May holiday, August holiday and a few others. The rest which is likely to be 20+ days is taken through the year and in weeks.

You get paid for Christmas and New year surely. Five days PTO. I don't know how you survive, no holidays, paying for healthcare, not much in benefits. I don't mean to be rude but I don't think I'd like to live in the US. And the US certainly wouldn't want me.

I think I'd be living in terrible poverty in the US. If you were treated fairly your life situation would be a bit better. I don't mean you'd be fine but you wouldn't have so much of a financial struggle.

I sound very critical of the US but I'm sure you have lots of good things we don't have and I know it's one of the most popular countries to live in. I really hope you don't think I'm rubbishing your country. There are endless things in Scotland to moan about.

I do feel angry on your behalf for the way you're treated. This world is so unjust.

Every place has its problems. While I wish I didn't live in the US I don't think there's anywhere else I'd want to live, mostly because the US guarantees freedom of speech which many places don't explicitly safeguard which I think is important but that's slowly being taken away.

Sure I have to pay for my own healthcare (10% of my income), but I choose not to since I don't feel the need to go to the doctor yet. If you get higher paying jobs they tend to pay for your entire health insurance (ironic, the more you're paid the more free stuff you get). Sometimes you'll get tuition reimbursement (I do but it's so little it's not worth bothering with) or things like childcare, mental health reimbursements, etc. but again these are all things that tend to be in the top 30-ish% of jobs. Unless I'm clueless idk. I am super lucky though that my company matches 7% of my retirement, which is insanely high (normally it's about 3%) but you still have to factor that I'm on the low end of income in the US.

I wouldn't want to live somewhere in Scandanavia where they may have great social programs but nearly all of them I wouldn't participate in, yet I'd pay for. I calculated how much I'd pay in taxes there and it'd be 55% of my income, while here it's about 25%. Still, I wonder if I'd be better off there. I wouldn't know since this is the only system I know and they seem happy with it. If I got taxed that much here I wouldn't even bother working since I'd be screwed anyways.

We generally get paid for federal holidays (8 in total per year) it's not required but it's something generally done everywhere. Some places will pay you 1.5x to 2x if you actually work those days. 25-40 days in the UK? I'd have to work where I'm at for twenty years just to get that much.

The US can't sustain this system forever especially with how its economy is going. Even places like McDonald's offer PTO, health insurance, childcare, tuition reimbursement, etc. when just 5 years ago they (at least where I lived) didn't offer anything like that. It'll change eventually, but it's gonna be decades. I don't want to wait that long.

 

[cosifantutti]

Every place has its problems. While I wish I didn't live in the US I don't think there's anywhere else I'd want to live, mostly because the US guarantees freedom of speech which many places don't explicitly safeguard which I think is important but that's slowly being taken away.

Sure I have to pay for my own healthcare (10% of my income), but I choose not to since I don't feel the need to go to the doctor yet. If you get higher paying jobs they tend to pay for your entire health insurance (ironic, the more you're paid the more free stuff you get). Sometimes you'll get tuition reimbursement (I do but it's so little it's not worth bothering with) or things like childcare, mental health reimbursements, etc. but again these are all things that tend to be in the top 30-ish% of jobs. Unless I'm clueless idk. I am super lucky though that my company matches 7% of my retirement, which is insanely high (normally it's about 3%) but you still have to factor that I'm on the low end of income in the US.

I wouldn't want to live somewhere in Scandanavia where they may have greasocial programs but nearly all of them I wouldn't participate in, yet I'd pay for. I calculated how much I'd pay in taxes there and it'd be 55% of my income, while here it's about 25%. Still, I wonder if I'd be better off there. I wouldn't know since this is the only system I know and they seem happy with it. If I got taxed that much here I wouldn't even bother working since I'd be screwed anyways.

We generally get paid for federal holidays (8 in total per year) it's not required but it's something generally done everywhere. Some places will pay you 1.5x to 2x if you actually work those days. 25-40 days in the UK? I'd have to work where I'm at for twenty years just to get that much.

The US can't sustain this system forever especially with how its economy is going. Even places like McDonald's offer PTO, health insurance, childcare, tuition reimbursement, etc. when just 5 years ago they (at least where I lived) didn't offer anything like that. It'll change eventually, but it's gonna be decades. I don't want to wait that long.

That's interesting you choose not to pay for healthcare. I suppose if your health is okay why take it. I presume there's no help they could give you for your mental health. Our health service used to be very good but is going downhill quickly.

Money always seems to go to money. If you have a good job your conditions are better. I live in quite a poor area and that's reflected in the services we get.

As you say all countries have their problems. Regardless of what country you live in though if you've got crap mental health life is crap.