I feel like cutting my face like chucky

[SadCryingBunny]

I have become very depressed lately and I'm barely able to get out of bed. I want to kill myself in my room with my nitrogen & exit bag setup but I don't want an autopsy. My doctor wants me to put me on full disability. My job provider wants to drive uber eats for at least 10 hours a week and I can't. I feel I am going to explode and cut my face severely and if they don't fuck off I will jump off a roof and break my legs. I've cut my arms badly and now have a neck cut. I can't work I hate this life. They're trying to push me to kill myself but I will be paralysed before that happens. When my face gets cut up I will be wearing a covid mask and beanie for the rest of my life.

 

[endlesschatter]

I'm so sorry that you've to go through immense torture. I wish you can get peace soon

 

[Nat.]

I also have a strong urge to cut my face because I dissociate in front of the mirror for hours. The last time, I cut myself on my neck instead. It's very difficult to live. I'm so sorry you're feeling so much pain and desperation. i hope you can find peace

if i may ask, is it a good thing to be on full disability? where i live you get like 800 euros. It's not much, nor is it enough if you live alone, but maybe it's better than working...

 

[SadCryingBunny]

I'm so sorry that you've to go through immense torture. I wish you can get peace soon

I'm so sorry that you've to go through immense torture. I wish you can get peace soon

I so want to die peacefully. I want to be buried in a complete body and be forgotten. I don't want to be horrifically cut up and mutilated. I was just at my doctor and said that to him. They don't want to give me assisted dying or at least not autopsy me. I have told him I have my own method to kill myself and don't want to be cut up. The only choice left for me is to get a jet ski and travel far away and finish the job. I hope this nitrogen gas actually works and ends me because I am fucking done with this shit.

 

[endlesschatter]

I so want to die peacefully. I want to be buried in a complete body and be forgotten. I don't want to be horrifically cut up and mutilated. I was just at my doctor and said that to him. They don't want to give me assisted dying or at least not autopsy me. I have told him I have my own method to kill myself and don't want to be cut up. The only choice left for me is to get a jet ski and travel far away and finish the job. I hope this nitrogen gas actually works and ends me because I am fucking done with this shit.

Jetski.. i recently did jetski and it literally made me meet the soul reaper for a few seconds
I think that's a good idea. Make sure before you go inside water, you find a way to lose consciousness, so that drowning is no longer painful. I had drowning on my mind, but everyone here says that it's very painful, so I guess it's important to lose consciousness before going inside.
I wonder why they don't allow assisted dying.
It should be our own decision if we want to live our life or die

 

[SadCryingBunny]

I also have a strong urge to cut my face because I dissociate in front of the mirror for hours. The last time, I cut myself on my neck instead. It's very difficult to live. I'm so sorry you're feeling so much pain and desperation. i hope you can find peace

if i may ask, is it a good thing to be on full disability? where i live you get like 800 euros. It's not much, nor is it enough if you live alone, but maybe it's better than working...

Hi I don't have self harm urges. I only plan to cut my face or jump off a roof and break my legs if they ever force me to work. Cutting my face like my arm would essentially make it impossible for me to ever work until I die because it would horrify the employer. If that is not sufficient, I'm breaking my legs. I HAVE SAID IT. I WANT TO DIE. Regarding payments, I am on jobseeker Centerlink in Australia and I get $1650 a month. I also drive Uber eats and make about $800 a month and get to keep about $500 of it after deductions and fuel expenses. I also get $50 fuel voucher a month and concession card and other benefits. I live at home with my parents so no rent assistance payments. I just want to die because my damn arm is in so much pain from the cuts. Getting on full disability payments is difficult and I'm fine with how I am now because I've got Uber and like doing it 8 or so hours a week. Yes I would recommend trying to pursue some partial payment plan or full disability if your mental health is bad and working a gig driving or delivery job on the side and just live in peace until you get better.

Jetski.. i recently did jetski and it literally made me meet the soul reaper for a few seconds
I think that's a good idea. Make sure before you go inside water, you find a way to lose consciousness, so that drowning is no longer painful. I had drowning on my mind, but everyone here says that it's very painful, so I guess it's important to lose consciousness before going inside.
I wonder why they don't allow assisted dying.
It should be our own decision if we want to live our life or die

I'm using the Jet ski to travel to a far away place where I can lie down and setup my nitrogen and exit bag. I will be wearing a Kevlar chainmail suit so no animals or birds feast on my body. If I use a car, they can track be via cameras. But with a jet ski with 80L of extra fuel. I can travel for hundreds of km and never be found for months or years until my body is decomposed.