thinkkank
Experienced
- Oct 16, 2019
- 247
Gather round Gang!! Ol' Cappy has some stories from his new job that he wants to share. Guaranteed to amaze, amuse and astound!
But first, lets build the foundation for our story by talking about Planet Bungle.
See, Cappy isn't human. He's an alien from the Planet Bungle. Planet Bungle was home to the Bunglers, a race of aliens who were renowned for their natural ability to fuck just about everything up. An experiment with nucleur power went horribly wrong and destroyed the entire planet. The whole race was destroyed, save for one child. One couple put their child in a small ship and programmed the ship to find the nearest habitable planet. That child was your boy Cappy. The ship escaped the planet before it completely blew up. It flew thousands of lightyears searching for a safe planet to land. It finally found earth. The ship landed in a corn field and was found by two farmers. The ship had an AI that communicated to the farmers in their language (english) and told the farmers everything that happened. The ship opened up and revealed a young baby, the last son of Bungle. The farmers took the baby home and raised it as their own.
Cappy was raised as a human, but realised in his teen years that he was different from the other boys. He had this uncanny ability to mess everything up, almost as if it was his superpower. He couldn't get anything right and was ostracized because of this. The couple that raised Cappy decided to tell him why he was so different. they took him to the barn and opened a secret trap door on the floor. the door lead to a basement that had the ship that cappy came in. The ship AI was still functional and told Cappy everything, about his homeworld, coming to earth, and about Cappy's powers. the Ship told me that I was powered by the sun. On Bungle a Bungler's fuck-up abilities are at an average level, but when exposed to the light of a yellow sun, like earth's sun, those powers are magnified to god-like levels. This means Cappy is the greatest fuck-up of all time.
When Cappy realized who he really was, he knew what his destiny was. To fuck-up as many jobs as possible in honor of his great planet. Before Cappy fucks a job up he whispers under his breath "for Bungle" and proceeds to royally screw everything up.
Well, that's the backstory. Tune in next time for another installment in the story of CAPTAIN FUCK-UP!.
Next Entry:
But first, lets build the foundation for our story by talking about Planet Bungle.
See, Cappy isn't human. He's an alien from the Planet Bungle. Planet Bungle was home to the Bunglers, a race of aliens who were renowned for their natural ability to fuck just about everything up. An experiment with nucleur power went horribly wrong and destroyed the entire planet. The whole race was destroyed, save for one child. One couple put their child in a small ship and programmed the ship to find the nearest habitable planet. That child was your boy Cappy. The ship escaped the planet before it completely blew up. It flew thousands of lightyears searching for a safe planet to land. It finally found earth. The ship landed in a corn field and was found by two farmers. The ship had an AI that communicated to the farmers in their language (english) and told the farmers everything that happened. The ship opened up and revealed a young baby, the last son of Bungle. The farmers took the baby home and raised it as their own.
Cappy was raised as a human, but realised in his teen years that he was different from the other boys. He had this uncanny ability to mess everything up, almost as if it was his superpower. He couldn't get anything right and was ostracized because of this. The couple that raised Cappy decided to tell him why he was so different. they took him to the barn and opened a secret trap door on the floor. the door lead to a basement that had the ship that cappy came in. The ship AI was still functional and told Cappy everything, about his homeworld, coming to earth, and about Cappy's powers. the Ship told me that I was powered by the sun. On Bungle a Bungler's fuck-up abilities are at an average level, but when exposed to the light of a yellow sun, like earth's sun, those powers are magnified to god-like levels. This means Cappy is the greatest fuck-up of all time.
When Cappy realized who he really was, he knew what his destiny was. To fuck-up as many jobs as possible in honor of his great planet. Before Cappy fucks a job up he whispers under his breath "for Bungle" and proceeds to royally screw everything up.
Well, that's the backstory. Tune in next time for another installment in the story of CAPTAIN FUCK-UP!.
Next Entry:
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