I am still here, couldn’t do it

[Candour]

i went to Beachy Head last night, with the intention of jumping. The police were there & a helicopter. Found out later it was cos someone else had jumped (wish I had known, we could have done it together). I bypassed the police quite easily, by just making out I was a walker, and pretended I was offended by them harassing me. The helicopter was making a lot of noise and it was just putting me off tbh. My plan was to run off with my eyes closed so I wouldn't know I was about to fall, but I couldn't do it I kept opening my eyes. Maybe if I'd had more privacy, I could have built up the courage...anyway not long after that the chaplaincy people showed up, I saw them coming so just acted normal, that's when They told me about the other jumper. They offered me a lift back into town, so I just took it because I'm weak. I'm going to try again today but it's so fucking hard

 

[throwaway123]

don't be so hard on yourself, dying isn't easy.
Someday you'll get your chance.

A lot of people are here because they can't do it.

 

[Candour]

It needs to happen sooner rather than later though. It's hard not to be hard on myself.

 

[Ready to go.]

Ditto what Throwaway said not to be hard on yourself. I had the same plan last week but couldn't bring myself to do it either. It took a hell of a lot of guts for your efforts today. Guess we'll all make it in our own time. Glad you got a safe ride back home ××

 

[throwaway123]

It needs to happen sooner rather than later though. It's hard not to be hard on myself.

I couldn't do it either. Jumping is very hard.

 

[Donewith_]

You have tried the best of your level despite all the obstacles.. you didn't deceive yourself like.. you didn't rob yourself of the thing you deserve. What happened might be inevitable.. good to know that you covered it up well and you are in good mental state at that time. Wish you all luck in all your further choices..

 

[Ready to go.]

And hey...thank God you didn't get arrested or sanctioned today.

 

[s_girl]

I was wondering what had happened there. Someone else mentioned Beachy Head today and I thought of you. Thank you for coming and let us know. You are NOT weak! This is a safe place, where you're free to share. As throwaway said, dying really isn't easy and it often takes a few goes before being successful.

It sounds like a really busy place. Must be popular here for a reason. Have you been there at night time? I wonder how many people are around there at night... I wish you all the best in whatever you choose to do.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/getting-to-beachy-head.5571/#post-89499

 

[Miss clefable]

Hugs

 

[Candour]

I was wondering what had happened there. Someone else mentioned Beachy Head today and I thought of you. Thank you for coming and let us know. You are NOT weak! This is a safe place, where you're free to share. As throwaway said, dying really isn't easy and it often takes a few goes before being successful.

It sounds like a really busy place. Must be popular here for a reason. Have you been there at night time? I wonder how many people are around there at night... I wish you all the best in whatever you choose to do.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/getting-to-beachy-head.5571/#post-89499

That was my first time going there at night. I went in the daytime the day before. It's very busy up there, no time for messing about. I don't know if I would be able to talk my way out of it again with the chaplaincy/police and there's only so many excuses you can give for being up there at nighttime, so think I need to do it in the daytime.

 

[onewayroad]

That was my first time going there at night. I went in the daytime the day before. It's very busy up there, no time for messing about. I don't know if I would be able to talk my way out of it again with the chaplaincy/police and there's only so many excuses you can give for being up there at nighttime, so think I need to do it in the daytime.

It might be even harder in the daytime with all those people around, plus there's the moral dilemma of there probably being kids and stuff around... personally I would go late at night but I think jumping has too high a risk of not dying instantly and I don't want my last moments on this earth to be in agony, so it's nitrogen for me.

Anyway you're not weak you are just hardwired to have an overpowering survival instinct.

I hope everything works out for you one way or another.

 

[Candour]

It might be even harder in the daytime with all those people around, plus there's the moral dilemma of there probably being kids and stuff around... personally I would go late at night but I think jumping has too high a risk of not dying instantly and I don't want my last moments on this earth to be in agony, so it's nitrogen for me.

Anyway you're not weak you are just hardwired to have an overpowering survival instinct.

I hope everything works out for you one way or another.

This is why I wanted to do at night, so I would have privacy & not subject anyway to having to watch but it's pitch black up there. The only reason I could see was cos of the helicopter. There's no worry of it not working it's very high with rocky terrain below so it would be instant death

 

[onewayroad]

This is why I wanted to do at night, so I would have privacy & not subject anyway to having to watch but it's pitch black up there. The only reason I could see was cos of the helicopter. There's no worry of it not working it's very high with rocky terrain below so it would be instant death

Ah yeah it's 162 meters or something so you would probably die instantly, although I didn't mean it wouldn't work I just meant you might end up smushed on the rocks but still alive for a few minutes and that really freaks me out.

I don't know the likelihood of that happening though so don't listen to me.

 

[CJM]

What booze did you buy? Did you at least get wasted?

Look, it's not easy to do what you were going to do, you seem pretty cool and to even go to the location takes courage, good stuff.

 

[Candour]

What booze did you buy? Did you at least get wasted?

Look, it's not easy to do what you were going to do, you seem pretty cool and to even go to the location takes courage, good stuff.

Yeah I was drunk, I'd drunk a combination of vodka and beer.

 

[Candour]

But now after trying & failing to do it when drunk. I'm thinking maybe jusy try to do it sober.

 

[Candour]

It's easy to get over emotional when drunk, which might have the opposite effect of what I was trying to achieve. When sober, I can think clearly about all the reasons why it's the right decision.

 

[406blue]

I couldn't do it either. Jumping is very hard.

i went to Beachy Head last night, with the intention of jumping. The police were there & a helicopter. Found out later it was cos someone else had jumped (wish I had known, we could have done it together). I bypassed the police quite easily, by just making out I was a walker, and pretended I was offended by them harassing me. The helicopter was making a lot of noise and it was just putting me off tbh. My plan was to run off with my eyes closed so I wouldn't know I was about to fall, but I couldn't do it I kept opening my eyes. Maybe if I'd had more privacy, I could have built up the courage...anyway not long after that the chaplaincy people showed up, I saw them coming so just acted normal, that's when They told me about the other jumper. They offered me a lift back into town, so I just took it because I'm weak. I'm going to try again today but it's so fucking hard

I think one needs to almost have an out of body experience for this kind of thing to be easier, to be disassociated from the ego and worry and fear. Removing the 'me' that this is happening to. Drug taking perhaps or alcohol but the trouble is with this that life might suddenly seem better for a bit. Like people say, if it was easy everyone would be doing it. I feel for you, best wishes.

 

[Miss clefable]

I think one needs to almost have an out of body experience for this kind of thing to be easier, to be disassociated from the ego and worry and fear. Removing the 'me' that this is happening to. Drug taking perhaps or alcohol but the trouble is with this that life might suddenly seem better for a bit. Like people say, if it was easy everyone would be doing it. I feel for you, best wishes.

Your absolutely right

 

[VincentValentine]

It's easy to get over emotional when drunk, which might have the opposite effect of what I was trying to achieve. When sober, I can think clearly about all the reasons why it's the right decision.

I did read somewhere that suicide attempts are more likely to fail when under the influence of alcohol, but the article I read it from was mainly referring to gun suicides.

 

[CJM]

It's easy to get over emotional when drunk, which might have the opposite effect of what I was trying to achieve. When sober, I can think clearly about all the reasons why it's the right decision.

Yeah depends on what kind of drunk you are, I'm one of those chatty talk shit have fun drunks so alcohol just wouldn't work for me.

 

[InAust2]

Jumping is extremely difficult... I couldn't it do it, especially if there are distractions.

Killing oneself is no easy thing.

 

[Candour]

I don't know what the fuck to do now. I can't go home, it needs to be done, but it's too difficult up there. Too many distractions.

 

[InAust2]

I don't know what the fuck to do now. I can't go home, it needs to be done, but it's too difficult up there. Too many distractions.

I know exactly what you are experiencing... I am still here after a number of failed attempts.

I've had to look for other methods.

 

[throwaway123]

I don't know what the fuck to do now. I can't go home, it needs to be done, but it's too difficult up there. Too many distractions.

just relax. You can always jump later.

Maybe you need a different method.

 

[Lovemykids]

Why not try exit bag with nitrogen or N

 

[Chinaski]

Why not try exit bag with nitrogen or N

Jesus man, at least let him/her get home and relax a bit first, eh?

 

[Lovemykids]

Jesus man, at least let him/her get home and relax a bit first, eh?

No harm
Just trying to lessen his stress by saying there is much better way rather than go through this stress

I can imagine how he feel
If it's me I would have pied in my pants with anxious

So respectfully pls don't tell me Jesus man

 

[Lovemykids]

We are all here to help each other and support