How to deal with anger

[Susannah]

I'm so angry, all the time. Feels like I'll explode soon. I keep my rage inside and I'm sure people around me don't notice. But it takes a lot of energy and I hate being angry.

I'm angry at the society and politicians. I get furious when everybody talk about saving the planet, about environment, not really living up to their concerns. When my "friends" talk about their (tiny) problems, I just wanna knock them down. I hate how unfair the world is.

I just wanna die.

 

[waived]

You have every reason to be angrier yet and I think it's only from there that you can stop feeling coerced into believing that you actually belong with those other people and their idiot opinions. Their world is one of isolation, yours is filled with the tension that comes from trying to escape its gravitational pull, its spell.

 

[Orin]

This helped me a lot with dealing with anger:

 

[Dead beat dad]

I'm so angry, all the time. Feels like I'll explode soon. I keep my rage inside and I'm sure people around me don't notice. But it takes a lot of energy and I hate being angry.

I'm angry at the society and politicians. I get furious when everybody talk about saving the planet, about environment, not really living up to their concerns. When my "friends" talk about their (tiny) problems, I just wanna knock them down. I hate how unfair the world is.

I just wanna die.

How much news and social media do you partake in?

 

[SinisterKid]

Anger is good, anger makes me feel alive and if I could, I would be angry all the time. I can safely say, when I am angry, the very last thing on my mind is suicide. Revenge, retribution, justice, they are what I am wanting when angry. But life has slowly ground me down and now I dont get angry very often. But when I do, I definitely feel more alive than with any other emotion/feeling. Its like a drug to me.

The other night, I could feel the fires of anger slowly coming to life. I stoked them by reading as much crap here as I could find from certain individuals and bingo, I was livid, foaming at the mouth angry and man I felt so fucking good. But as always, the anger slowly subsides and is replaced by the void again.

Just my own take on anger, not saying its what anyone else should or should no feel/do.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

I feel you on the angry part. If I get really really angry I black out. Last time I put a hole in the wall and ended up with a bruised hand on my already really pale skin, super noticable. Anger issues. That was only cause my brother was getting crazy like I would just stand for it and I lost it.

I try not to get that way cause after I dont remember much and Im shaking and it takes a lot out of me. I dont feel anything when Im like that times 10. As it is I dont feel anything.


(I also just listen to my music (death metal) when im angry) I dont really have anything else)

 

[Rollo]

I'm so angry, all the time. Feels like I'll explode soon. I keep my rage inside and I'm sure people around me don't notice. But it takes a lot of energy and I hate being angry.

I'm angry at the society and politicians. I get furious when everybody talk about saving the planet, about environment, not really living up to their concerns. When my "friends" talk about their (tiny) problems, I just wanna knock them down. I hate how unfair the world is.

I just wanna die.

I think anger needs to be completely rejected. Anger comes from one not accepting unplesant side of life. Expecting life to be nice to him, that is to his needs. And when it's not - anger. Yet the only healthy thing to do is to accept life and it's unpleasant part as it is and channel all your enegy into making it more pleasant. To take a sole responsibility for fulfilling your needs. Like a boxer who don't come to the ring expecting his opponent to pull his punches, but accepts whatever he will throw at him, focusing only on his own punches and dodges. And the only reson a boxer can be like this is cause he/she is nice enough to own needs as to believe that punching people in the face in the ring in order to secure those needs is appropriate. And same goes for life in general. For example if you're nice enough to yourself as to believe that giving people back their change and getting aggressive with them if they get aggressive with you is a way to go - then you can deal with people being mean to you and feel normal. But if you're not (after all everybody knows what Jesus said) - then the only thing left is to expect them to be nice to you, getting angry when they're not.

 

[marcusuk63]

I`m the opposite i never have or ever do get angry , mind you not watching tv and being single for 20 years helps lol

 

[Susannah]

How much news and social media do you partake in?

I worked with hard news (TV), being a journalist for more than 10 years, so I guess I'm a bit damaged from that.

 

[Severen]

Anger is good, anger makes me feel alive and if I could, I would be angry all the time. I can safely say, when I am angry, the very last thing on my mind is suicide. Revenge, retribution, justice, they are what I am wanting when angry. But life has slowly ground me down and now I dont get angry very often. But when I do, I definitely feel more alive than with any other emotion/feeling. Its like a drug to me.

The other night, I could feel the fires of anger slowly coming to life. I stoked them by reading as much crap here as I could find from certain individuals and bingo, I was livid, foaming at the mouth angry and man I felt so fucking good. But as always, the anger slowly subsides and is replaced by the void again.

Just my own take on anger, not saying its what anyone else should or should no feel/do.

I embrace my rage and hatred. They give me strength. They are tools to be used. But life sucks if you are always in a constant state of rage and hatred. So I try to keep a balance in my life. I use my rage and hatred to serve me and then when they are no longer needed, I put those tools away. And afterwards I try to enjoy life. Spend time doing my favorite hobbies. Enjoy the few luxuries I have in life. Focus on the few good things in life. Avoid thinking about topics that will invoke rage and hatred inside of me. Avoid exposing myself to things or people who will invoke rage and hatred inside of me. Completely escape into fantasy worlds, once in awhile. Going back in time by studying history and focusing on the most interesting parts of it as well.

I`m the opposite i never have or ever do get angry , mind you not watching tv and being single for 20 years helps lol

Yeah, avoiding TV does make a big difference. Better to just watch the TV shows you want to watch. If I was watching TV all the time, it would be very hard for me to not be in a state of rage and hatred, all the time.

I worked with hard news (TV), being a journalist for more than 10 years, so I guess I'm a bit damaged from that.

Constantly focusing on all the negative and horrible shit in this world for more than 10 years straight and all the stress that comes from being a journalist? Sounds very damaging.

 

[azucaramargo]

I feel you on the angry part. If I get really really angry I black out. Last time I put a hole in the wall and ended up with a bruised hand on my already really pale skin, super noticable. Anger issues. That was only cause my brother was getting crazy like I would just stand for it and I lost it.

I try not to get that way cause after I dont remember much and Im shaking and it takes a lot out of me. I dont feel anything when Im like that times 10. As it is I dont feel anything.


(I also just listen to my music (death metal) when im angry) I dont really have anything else)

Doomed

I feel you on the angry part. If I get really really angry I black out. Last time I put a hole in the wall and ended up with a bruised hand on my already really pale skin, super noticable. Anger issues. That was only cause my brother was getting crazy like I would just stand for it and I lost it.

I try not to get that way cause after I dont remember much and Im shaking and it takes a lot out of me. I dont feel anything when Im like that times 10. As it is I dont feel anything.


(I also just listen to my music (death metal) when im angry) I dont really have anything else)

I don't know if this is of any comfort to you, but almost every man I know has punched a hole in the wall at some point. I wonder if women ever do this. That is interesting about the blackouts. I can relate to seeing red, but not really blacking out. You were very kind to describe your anger process: very helpful to me and to others on here, I'm sure.

I think anger needs to be completely rejected. Anger comes from one not accepting unplesant side of life. Expecting life to be nice to him, that is to his needs. And when it's not - anger. Yet the only healthy thing to do is to accept life and it's unpleasant part as it is and channel all your enegy into making it more pleasant. To take a sole responsibility for fulfilling your needs. Like a boxer who don't come to the ring expecting his opponent to pull his punches, but accepts whatever he will throw at him, focusing only on his own punches and dodges. And the only reson a boxer can be like this is cause he/she is nice enough to own needs as to believe that punching people in the face in the ring in order to secure those needs is appropriate. And same goes for life in general. For example if you're nice enough to yourself as to believe that giving people back their change and getting aggressive with them if they get aggressive with you is a way to go - then you can deal with people being mean to you and feel normal. But if you're not (after all everybody knows what Jesus said) - then the only thing left is to expect them to be nice to you, getting angry when they're not.

I like your screen name, Rollo.

I'm so angry, all the time. Feels like I'll explode soon. I keep my rage inside and I'm sure people around me don't notice. But it takes a lot of energy and I hate being angry.

I'm angry at the society and politicians. I get furious when everybody talk about saving the planet, about environment, not really living up to their concerns. When my "friends" talk about their (tiny) problems, I just wanna knock them down. I hate how unfair the world is.

I just wanna die.

My depression often manifests as anger. I felt reassured to know that many people with depression experience anger in lieu of (or in addition to) the sadness. For some reason, this made me feel better. Anger is just as exhausting as feelings of guilt, regret, self-loathing, jealousy, and sadness. But, a lot of us here struggle with anger.

 

[Severen]

Doomed
I don't know if this is of any comfort to you, but almost every man I know has punched a hole in the wall at some point. I wonder if women ever do this. That is interesting about the blackouts. I can relate to seeing red, but not really blacking out. You were very kind to describe your anger process: very helpful to me and to others on here, I'm sure.

I like your screen name, Rollo.

My depression often manifests as anger. I felt reassured to know that many people with depression experience anger in lieu of (or in addition to) the sadness. For some reason, this made me feel better. Anger is just as exhausting as feelings of guilt, regret, self-loathing, jealousy, and sadness. But, a lot of us here struggle with anger.

I wonder if the OP has PTSD due to her past career. PTSD can make you go from 0 to 10 when it comes to anger, in seconds. And in many cases, people with PTSD get so angry, they become violent, very easily.

 

[marcusuk63]

As the wise Sphinx would say ," Until you learn to master your rage , your rage will master you "

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

Doomed
I don't know if this is of any comfort to you, but almost every man I know has punched a hole in the wall at some point. I wonder if women ever do this. That is interesting about the blackouts. I can relate to seeing red, but not really blacking out. You were very kind to describe your anger process: very helpful to me and to others on here, I'm sure.

I like your screen name, Rollo.

My depression often manifests as anger. I felt reassured to know that many people with depression experience anger in lieu of (or in addition to) the sadness. For some reason, this made me feel better. Anger is just as exhausting as feelings of guilt, regret, self-loathing, jealousy, and sadness. But, a lot of us here struggle with anger.

I am a woman lol and no problem

 

[azucaramargo]

I am a woman lol and no problem

I love that you punched a hole through a wall! Women experience such anger, too I've thrown cell phones through windows, and other such stuff, but I can't help but be proud of you for punching a hole in the wall. That's STRENGTH! I read once that men's stereotypical ways of expressing anger (i.e., externalizing it rather than internalizing it) was actually psychologically healthier for the men themselves. I'm not discounting the risks of violence, but somehow throwing a punch is better for one's own psyche than ruminating, cursing oneself, and turning that anger inward. You're the first woman I've "met" who has punched a hole in the wall. I am proud of you. ,:)

I once wrote a thread on here about my tendency to stalk people who'd rejected me, and people thought I was a dude.

 

[262653]

How I understand it: Situation occurs, real or imagined (for lack of better words), doesn't matter --> Situation gets interpreted --> Emotions arise as a response to how situation was interpreted.
Anger makes me more reactive and less reflective.
Anger is a fire in my heart. It allows me protect that which is important to me (me, my values, my social status, family, etc.) It can be a powerful ally if properly guided with reason.
It might be useful to determine whether someone else deliberately tries to provoke you by showing provocative content.
I can get very angry and very volatile when I imagine certain things, dwell on memories, anticipate future events, daydreaming... I think we can control anger by building a habit of questioning our hatred and showing specific images to either fuel or extinguish anger depending on what is preferable in current situation.
Anger can be a source of valuable data because it can point out what is important for us, what our projections are, what we value and what we don't like.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

I love that you punched a hole through a wall! Women experience such anger, too I've thrown cell phones through windows, and other such stuff, but I can't help but be proud of you for punching a hole in the wall. That's STRENGTH! I read once that men's stereotypical ways of expressing anger (i.e., externalizing it rather than internalizing it) was actually psychologically healthier for the men themselves. I'm not discounting the risks of violence, but somehow throwing a punch is better for one's own psyche than ruminating, cursing oneself, and turning that anger inward. You're the first woman I've "met" who has punched a hole in the wall. I am proud of you. ,:)

I once wrote a thread on here about my tendency to stalk people who'd rejected me, and people thought I was a dude.

Most people I guess would assume its more of a guy thing for stalking and punching holes in walls. And I do it I guess cause I feel like im going to explode from holding it in for so many years so rather let it out on something than someone lol.

 

[Severen]

Most people I guess would assume its more of a guy thing for stalking and punching holes in walls. And I do it I guess cause I feel like im going to explode from holding it in for so many years so rather let it out on something than someone lol.

The most violent people I've encountered in my life were women. LOL

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

The most violent people I've encountered in my life were women. LOL

On my good days Im as cute as a kitten.

 

[azucaramargo]

Most people I guess would assume its more of a guy thing for stalking and punching holes in walls. And I do it I guess cause I feel like im going to explode from holding it in for so many years so rather let it out on something than someone lol.

Sounds good to me! And, I guess it's better for you. Just try not to get caught.

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

In those moments Im not thinking lol so I dont care. But I try to avoid getting that way until anyone tries me then everything goes out the window and its super saiyan time

 

[No Future]

It's hard, but worth trying to get a grasp on anger. It leads to a lot of dumb decisions. People might flip at how eye-rolling my suggestions are going to be, but I'll list them anyway:

Meditation, breathing exercises, actual exercise, eat less shit and avoid the ever-living fuck out of social media. If I don't have Facebook, I'm not exposed to some faux-cultured fuck-wit's highlight reel, and I'm much better for it.

I also smoke and enjoy downers, but I'm working on that. Kind of.

 

[azucaramargo]

I

In those moments Im not thinking lol so I dont care. But I try to avoid getting that way until anyone tries me then everything goes out the window and its super saiyan time
[/QUOTE
I had to look up Saiyan. Thanks for introducing me to that. I got into a fight with some male roommates with whom I was living after college. My dad told me that I wasn't 5 anymore, and hitting people and destroying property could land me in jail. So, you don't want to get arrested...just be mindful of that. xoxox

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

Of course, always careful and lol no problem

 

[azucaramargo]

I wonder if the OP has PTSD due to her past career. PTSD can make you go from 0 to 10 when it comes to anger, in seconds. And in many cases, people with PTSD get so angry, they become violent, very easily.

I did not know this, Severen. Very perceptive of you. And, very kind of you to be concerned about our fellow SS'er. As usual, you raise a good point, and for me, your post served as gentle a reminder to be more sensitive. Thank you.

It's hard, but worth trying to get a grasp on anger. It leads to a lot of dumb decisions. People might flip at how eye-rolling my suggestions are going to be, but I'll list them anyway:

Meditation, breathing exercises, actual exercise, eat less shit and avoid the ever-living fuck out of social media. If I don't have Facebook, I'm not exposed to some faux-cultured fuck-wit's highlight reel, and I'm much better for it.

I also smoke and enjoy downers, but I'm working on that. Kind of.

Excellent point, NF. Thank you for being the voice of reason.