How suicidal do you consider yourself at the moment as a percentage?

[V01Death]

I would say approximately 63%, right now. I have already set terms and exact secret place and even method for my suicide, and my terms as simple as they may be they are.

1. When I will be homeless.
2. When I will live in complete poverty.
3. When I will completely lose my freedom and independence or/and my autonomy (No psych wards and prisons).
4. When I will see that there is completely no hope for this world, society and myself in it.

And well to explain about term 4. I egregiously lose hope for this world if I see and/or experience.

1. corruption(Of all kinds especially Nepotism)
2. mobbing(bullying),
3. Intentional incompetence.
4. Coercion.
5. Manipulation.
6. Exploitation.
7. Being in any group.
8. Being hurried.

And I gain some slivers of hope when I.

1. Experience Freedom and autonomy (No capitalism and capitalistic work isn't freedom it's slave labor with some bureaucratic gymnastics).
2. Experience Simple respect
3. When I create my projects (As a software engineer) without pure profit motives just sheer respect for my profession which gave me hope in troubling childhood.
4. When I am alone with myself and my mind.
5. When no one coerces me to do things their way unless it is an truly "best" solution.

 

[Placo]

At the moment I think I'm around 33%, I must say that the situation is improving a little with the new antidepressant.

 

[alltoomuch2]

Right this minute I'm 50% but I get such rapid major mood swings it could be 90-100% at any time. Never lower than 30% though.

 

[Sethy]

75% atm, still lil hope but i dont think i can make it
75% atm, still lil hope but i dont think i can make it

 

[RosebyAnyName]

70%. I fluctuate between 10%, when I'm able to completely delude myself, and 80ish% when I actually try to think about anything objectively.

 

[dinosavr]

I think I'm at 80% and we're going higher baby

 

[shaddix]

let's give it a 90%. Even though I can't do anything about it yet.

 

[Manfrotto99]

95% I just have to do get a will done and finalise my exit plan

 

[N33dT0D13]

Right now, about a 20%, in general lately, maybe 40% or so, the start of my spiral two weeks ago that kicked all this bullshit off again, maybe 80-85%, it was all I could think about. Today I feel I swung wildly between like 5% and 60% before I got home, today started off awesome but kind of sucked overall, my feet still hurt.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

As my friend put it once - "you're not suicidal, you just don't want to live". I am a nihilist. I have zero interest in existing.

 

[Anonslostsoul]

I think around 40-60%. I usually want my life to end, but my survival instinct is always too strong to actually follow through and do something about it.
And then sometimes it's even around 20% when I'm distracted or something good happens. But it always goes back to a passive ideation.

Never brave enough to follow through, always sad enough to wish I would just not wake up anymore when I go to sleep.

This.

 

[dimgobaith]

65%

 

[etherealspring]

maybe 60%-70%? i think about suicide all the time. i fantasise about dying a lot, bc im desperate to stop living. but planning is hard and i lack initiative / willpower. ig my mental spirit is already dead, i feel like im stuck in a weird liminal space between life and death. i spend a lot of time here browsing through methods, weighing out my options but being too overwhelmed to properly come to a conclusion. idk if this is being passive or actively suicidal which is y i dont think my percentage is that high, at least. definitely more than half tho this shit sucks

 

[Minsu]

70%

In my case passive suicidal rn - if at all. Still not pro-life ^^

The choice is there in the case things become worse.

I'm hardly suicidal atm.

Is CO still your nr. 1 choice?

 

[exitingtothevoid]

Maybe 40%-50%? I was over 90% for a couple days last month and have been coming down from that since.

 

[albert_camus]

85%

 

[hawkshorizon]

60 -85. SI and latent religious training act as powerful barriers.

 

[CantDoIt]

50 percent but I was at about 80 awhile back. SI and a weird emotional state is holding me back.

 

[Imagined_Euphoria]

75 % in the morning. 85 % in the evening.

 

[CatLvr]

Never brave enough to follow through, always sad enough to wish I would just not wake up anymore when I go to sleep.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

I'm gonna have to contemplate the percentage thing. All I can honestly say is some days are better than others.

 

[bus catcher]

two days ago I was 65-75%. Im about 100% now and completely ready to cbt

 

[sometimesoon]

95-99 percent range given the state of planning

 

[Defenestration]

Aujourd'hui 50/100 même si très bien Dis...
Others days 80/100

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I fluctuate between 50-99% every day these days.

 

[Old]

10% right now. I don't actively want to ctb but I don't care if I had a heart attack right now. If someone robs me at gunpoint I also don't care. If I lived alone, I would go up to 80% because I'd be more motivated to ctb

 

[mckf]

Anywhere from 40% to 90% depending on how my body feels due to chronic illness. The more pain I have, the worse I know my body will get in the near future.

 

[AceVendetta7500]

Basically 100

 

[Jon Arbuckle]

Below 50% we can consider it passive ideation for convenience, in theory with 0% you are pro-life while with 100% you are practically about to do it so evaluate the answers carefully.

I think I oscillate between 40% and 80%, some time ago I would even say 90%, having managed to overcome the SI one night I could even say 100% but only that evening.

I'd say 90% until about two days ago. I don't really know what my percentages are now. 50% maybe?

 

[LivideLamb]

90%
I wish, I have to, CTB as fast as I can. I can't take this anymore. The lies, the stabs in the back. Though, for the 5%, I tell myself that disappearing into the woods (and ultimately living), would be a good solution as well

 

[chronicdissosiation]

60% as much as i wish to ctb soon im afraid i wont…i have the method set and ive been practicing for the day i do it. i constantly get nervous and si keeps kicking in which leads me to backing down