How old are you?

[xiaomingdie]

34. Husband died suddenly at the end of January. Nothing more to live for. I had the gun in my mouth tonight, not sure why I didn't pull the trigger. Unfinished business I guess.

I heard a US woman`s mother shot herself in her mouth. She pissed her pants just before she died.
maybe this is somewhat embarrasing, do you think so?

 

[CoolGuy9]

Physically 19, but mentally 12-15.

 

[Morgana]

I heard a US woman`s mother shot herself in her mouth. She pissed her pants just before she died.
maybe this is somewhat embarrasing, do you think so?

Perhaps for her. I can't be embarrassed when I'm dead. I wouldn't care if I shit myself and died with my eyes open and crossed.

 

[tomz323]

22, like a few of you I see.

 

[xiaomingdie]

34. Husband died suddenly at the end of January. Nothing more to live for. I had the gun in my mouth tonight, not sure why I didn't pull the trigger. Unfinished business I guess.

Do you have children?

 

[suicideofpeace]

23 but i am a dead man already time to say good bye

 

[seekingoblivion]

But it make sense when everyone describe high school and college as "the best years of their life" and that you have to enjoy it while you can because it goes downhill once you start working. I mean all of my parents happy memories are from between 11 to 25 and then when I ask them what happened after (they're almost 50) they describe what was their job at any given point and that's it. Meanwhile, my middle school and high school was loneliness and after that came worthlessness. And it's supposed to only worsen over time. Even on this site, when you look at the "what age do you wish you had CTB" thread most people answer under 20 because it got worse afterward.

This rings so true. If these years were supposed to have been my best then what the hell am I getting into by continuing to live?!?!?! I'm 24

34. Husband died suddenly at the end of January. Nothing more to live for. I had the gun in my mouth tonight, not sure why I didn't pull the trigger. Unfinished business I guess.

I'm so so sorry

 

[suicidal_joe]

So young
Are you boy or girl?

Prefer not to say

 

[lost_soul83]

I'm 36.

 

[hunter_lewis]

I am happy that a lot of us are 30, 40, 50. The posts that make me the saddest are the young teens who want to die, because life can change so much at that age. Let's get real. if you are 50, you probably can't change as much as someone who is 16.

 

[xiaomingdie]

42

Do you have little children?

 

[Final Escape]

Do you have little children?

I did not because I had a very traumatic childhood and damaged worldview. I was harmed by psychiatry and the abortion industry. Neither of these are prolife industries obviously. I was young, clueless, with borderline personality disorder. Birth control was not working for me and I was not having healthy relationships with men. I ended up aborting all my children because I felt hopeless, hated myself, avoiding responsibility, plus attempting to avoid financial hardship and single motherhood. I could barely hold a job I didn't think I was in a position to have children when it was the time to do it.

 

[xiaomingdie]

I did not because I had a very traumatic childhood and damaged worldview. I was harmed by psychiatry and the abortion industry. Neither of these are prolife industries obviously. I was young, clueless, with borderline personality disorder. Birth control was not working for me and I was not having healthy relationships with men. I ended up aborting all my children because I felt hopeless, hated myself so much, avoiding responsibility, plus attempting to avoid financial hardship and single motherhood. I could barely hold a job I didn't think I was in a position to have children when it was the time to do it.

Where are you from?

 

[Final Escape]

Where are you from?

Originally from Hungary, but I live in the US now.

 

[xiaomingdie]

Originally from Hungary, but I live in the US now.

Does Hungary have birth control?

 

[Final Escape]

Does Hungary have birth control?

Yes

 

[Bluedew]

56

 

[Throwaway563078]

24, but I feel both 6 and 70 at the same time

 

[ImsooDone1N]

28

 

[NoOneKnows]

early 30s...the number has nothing to do with the condition my body is in .

 

[Mr. Hang Man]

I'm 18, I'm behind in terms of brain development for example (didint learn how to wipe until I turned 12) (didint learn how to tie my shoes until I was 13)

 

[Morgana]

Do you have children?

No children. Two grown stepchildren, they're off in different states doing their own thing. They're loving and wonderful, but they'll survive just fine without me.

This rings so true. If these years were supposed to have been my best then what the hell am I getting into by continuing to live?!?!?! I'm 24

I'm so so sorry

Thank you

 

[SadGirl]

20 next mouth

 

[dandan]

36
been having mental issues since 17-18
suicide issues since like 23
But it's an off on type of thing, I dunno how many downs I can handle, at the moment I'm more or less okay

 

[xiaomingdie]

No children. Two grown stepchildren, they're off in different states doing their own thing. They're loving and wonderful, but they'll survive just fine without me.

Thank you

Do yopu want to die only because your husband died?

 

[RottenOdysseus]

I'm 20 rn

 

[Morgana]

Do yopu want to die only because your husband died?

No, my first attempt was at age 15. Been wanting to do it but lacking motivation for many, many years. Now it's time. All to think about now is wrapping up loose ends, packing my home up and selling it, and deciding for sure on the method. I swing back and forth all over the place with how I'll do it. It's exhausting. I can't wait to go. How about you? What's your story? If it's already on here, I apologize. This site isn't very easy to navigate on a Safari browser, or I'm just not very smart. Probably both.

 

[IronTusk]

25

16

Edit before a mod sees

 

[dandan]

No, my first attempt was at age 15. Been wanting to do it but lacking motivation for many, many years. Now it's time. All to think about now is wrapping up loose ends, packing my home up and selling it, and deciding for sure on the method. I swing back and forth all over the place with how I'll do it. It's exhausting. I can't wait to go. How about you? What's your story? If it's already on here, I apologize. This site isn't very easy to navigate on a Safari browser, or I'm just not very smart. Probably both.

It's a sad thing lack of motivation and energy becomes a reason to ctb, specially when issues have been in our life since early teens... I get you and understand...
I dislike errors and mistakes in my life have brought me here... Looking to ctb, today is a bad day when I realize many mistakes were my own , but they occurred due to my mental social distrust and confusion. Social inadaptation was a major cause.

 

[Lobo64]

Hi, I'm 55